Duct Tape

Engineers LOVE duct tape.

Yes, we do.

And we aren't alone.

Everybody loves duct tape. 

I bet all y'all have some at home right now.

Today was a cold lunch day.  My kids are now old enough to make their own lunches.  Since we missed the first cold lunch day I made it a point to remind the boys this morning that they needed to fix a lunch to take to school or they would be stuck eating something they didn't like.

I purposely stayed out of the kitchen.  I didn't want to get sucked into helping them with their lunch business.  After about 10 minutes I wander into the kitchen trying to be all nonchalant but really I was spying on them.  The youngest was shoving his messy PB&J into a bag but the oldest, the oldest was working on his lunch BOX not his lunch.

I was forced to buy him a new lunch box sometime during the last school year because a friend of his had pulled the handle off the box.  By the time I got there he had already put several layers of duct tape on his old lunch box.  My not-so-little engi-nerd had fashioned a handle for his box out of duct tape. 

As soon as I got my camera out to take a picture of his masterpiece he knew I was going to put it on my blog, email, twitter and facebook.  I don't know who is prouder: him or me!

May The Farce Be With You

Those Pokerati guys gave me a laugh today.

Internet Bouncer

It doesn't take me long to figure things out.  OK, sometimes longer than others but I usually, eventually get there.  Eventually.

Summer is an interesting time at my house.  My boys think that summer is the time for them to vie for the ultimate laptop bum award.  They have Olympic caliber skills when it comes to playing games and goofing off online.

My old TrendNet router has been the best router I have owned to date.  It is about 3 years old and has been the most stable router of the three I have used - the other two were a Linksys and a NetGear.  The Linksys was a piece of shit.  The NetGear was good but often needed to be reset. 

I figured out how to limit the boys' access to the internet using the TrendNet's settings.  While I have tried in the past to use the Windows Parental Controls they don't allow the boys to play their favorite online games so I had to abandon that effort to limit their usage.  This has come in incredibly handy.  Nothing incentivizes my children to do just about anything more than turning off their internet.

Since getting my new ASUS laptop and upgrading my netbook's wireless card I have been more interested in getting a Dual Band Wireless N router since these devices are compatible with the 5ghz band.  I did some research on Newegg and Amazon.  I neglected to check with my buddy (not Zerb) who has had a dual band router for a few months now.  I did recall that he had a couple issues but was happy with it for the most part.  I did read some recommendations for the Linksys E3000 router on a forum related to my ASUS laptop.  I ended up ordering one.

After flashing a firmware upgrade and making sure I set up the access program we started using the new router.  It wasn't long before the boys were complaining that their internet went out.  I did a little troubleshooting and eventually settled on a router restart.  When it came back up it had lost all of the settings.  Every last one.  Sigh.  Good thing I had backed them up as part of the firmware update but still, if this thing wasn't going to save settings between reboots I was sending it back.  The same problem happened again.  I immediately set up the old router and had my finger on the return button when I decided to reflash the firmware update one last time and see if that didn't fix these issues.  And, so far so good. 

Not long after getting the new router back up and running I watched a Tekzilla webcast specifically because it discussed Wireless N routers.  They seemed to like the NetGear version that, it turns out, my buddy (not Zerb) owns.  My buddy (not Zerb, no really ;) sent me a link to a site that evaluates and tests router noting that this place just loved his model.  I looked at both the NetGear and the Linksys models and both had there strong and weak points.  I found a good deal on the NetGear so I ordered it with the intent to run both for a week and decide which I like better.  So far the Linksys is not having any issues - the first firmware update must not have 'taken' - operator error I'm sure. 

The best part of having dual bands is being able to stick the kids on their own while I get one band all to myself.  I download a lot of content and I have noticed a HUGE improvement since I kicked them off my bandwidth.  I doubt they have noticed any difference at all.

Before I even bought the new router I had set up the old one so that I could access its control interface remotely from my phone or any internet connected computer.  Think about that for a minute.  Remotely access my router.  Why o why would I want or need to do that?  Have you ever tried to get your kids to do anything WHEN YOU WEREN'T HOME?  Epic fail, amirite?

I had to run some errands the other day and the boys were not being cooperative.  I had already disabled their internet with the promise to turn it back on if they would only do their chores, etc.  It wasn't until I was ready to walk out the door that they even began to show any interest in doing their jobs but suddenly wanted me to turn the internet back on before I left with the promise they would do all their stuff.  Hahahahahah, as if.  I said, "Nope.  You do your stuff.  Text me pictures of your clean rooms, clean closets, clean kitchen, clean garage..." you get the picture.  And so did I.  Lots of stunningly beautiful pictures of clean places.  I was standing in the Walmart checkout line when I finally turned their internet back on.  [Fist pump!]

My sons might have professional caliber goof off skills but those are no match for my geek cred. 

EVO?

It is only fair to show the other side of the Android/iPhone debate.  Thanks to CK for the link.

iPhone?

Please don't take offense but I found this absolutely hilarious.  Definitely NSFW.

Foom!

Surviving the World

Clearly this guy is a much more profound thinker than I am.

Paper or plastic is about the depth of my range.

You should check out Surviving the World.  No really.  Then bookmark or, even better, subscribe with your Reader.  Yeah, I went there.  Get busy with the Google Reader already would ya!?!?!?

Plan B

Plan B

That's what my life has been about lately.

Plan A has turned into Epic Fail.

As usual life has been chaotic around here: the last couple weeks of school are always nuts, combine that with planning summer activities including a trip to visit my dad during which I was going to sneak away for a week in Vegas with my degenerate poker friends and my swim team commitments have doubled.

I was about to start my first stint as a swim meet timer when I received an email from my father's wife telling me that their property was mostly under water and the forecast wasn't improving. She asked if there wasn't any way we could postpone our trip scheduled for this upcoming Thursday.

Sigh.

I use my fabulous new Droid Incredible on the way home (I was riding shotgun) to scope out alternatives. After getting home, I spent the next several hours coordinating ticket changes, refunds, cancellations and totally rescheduled the summer for me and the boys.

I still get my trip to Vegas but I lose one day in Sin City.

My friend T negotiated a $30 each discount on our hotel room! Wooohooo! We won't even talk about the $$$ lost on airfare. Nope. We won't even go there.

And we won't even go into the astronomic stress levels I've had. Nope. We won't. So if you see me stumbling around Vegas totally out of my mind just offer to by me another drink, or a pedicure or a few minutes of casinossage. I know I will appreciate it and you will have done your good deed for the day. Just don't upload any video of me to YouTube.

Big Butt Bike

I finally reached that point in my adulthood where I have to have a Big Butt Bike.  Yes, I HAVE to have a Big Butt Bike.  And I am clearly not the only one.

I hit up the local bike shop and found a plethora (yeah, I said it) of Big Butt Bikes. 

I fell hard for a 2009 Globe 03 that I could have made a good deal on but it was the wrong size for my long chubby legs.   The only other option in the store that I liked was a 2010 Globe 05.  I swear it looked like an Eddie Bauer edition: the frame was a beautiful brownish green while the seat and hand grips were tan.  Ooh la la.

I rode it around the parking lot making sure I tried every gear.  Wearing a black top on a steamy midwestern day was not the best idea.  I was sweating all over myself in no time at all.

I had promised to have our older mountain bike taken in to be tuned up before my oldest son graduated to riding it so I asked the salesman if he could work me a deal on the 05 model while I ran home to get the mountain bike.  I dropped the mountain bike off but the owner was still out so would need to wait longer to find out final pricing on the Big Butt Bike.

The younger son had a clarinet lesson later that afternoon and I would be near enough to drop him off and run back to the bike shop to negotiate the sale in time to pick my son up from his lesson.  In the mean time I was jonesing for that new bike. 

I did cut a deal with the bike shop!  Woooooooooot!  And I got a kickstand and bottle holder thrown in too!  I have dubbed her: Bebe.  Get it? BB!?!? Big Butt???  Sigh, do I have to explain everything to you people?

My goal is to hit the local bike trail with one or both of my sons most days this summer.  We'll see how that works out.  The oldest is thrilled to have graduated to one of the adult bikes.  I still need to adjust the seat on '97's bike for the younger boy.  Once '99 has a bike that actually fits him he will hopefully enjoy riding more than he does now.  Even with all the swimming he does he whines about his legs hurting when he goes on long rides.

If you see me goofing off online just tell me to grab Bebe and hit the trail - my butt sure needs it.

Nerd, Geek or Dork?

Well, to be honest, a little of all three.

You've got Mail?

For the first time in many years I have mailed a payment.

I went to the credit union this morning to have a bonded check drawn to pay for my new laptop - I received notice yesterday that my new screaming machine would soon be at the supplier!!!!  Woooohoooo!

I carefully placed the check into the enveloped that I painstakingly addressed to the seller's business.  I drove to the post office - I don't dare trust it to the rural carrier that delivers my home mail. 

As I tossed my business sized envelope into the cart nearly overflowing with mail I started to wonder how it could possibly NOT get lost in that avalanche of mail.  Seriously, I worried for its safety.  I almost grabbed it back in favor of Priority Shipping.

How soon we forget that we used to pay all of our bills this way.  It was a monthly or even weekly ritual for most everybody to send off their mortgage payment, car payment, utility bills - all manner of bills were paid this way.  What fools we were!

Now I have everything drafted automatically from my account.  What a huge relief.  I never have to worry about late fees or a missed payment.  It is all taken care of for me.

Granted, my feelings might be tainted by my wholly unnatural and, some would say, unhealthy desire to have my new laptop AS SOON AS FRIGGIN POSSIBLE, tyvm.  My payment is now in the hands of the USPS.  I'm at the mercy of the government.  I only hope that some poor retched soul doesn't decide to go postal before my payment gets to its destination. 

This has nothing to do with my friend, Not Zerb, getting his machine before me.  Nothing at all.  Nevermind that I placed my order over a month ago.  I patiently waited for all the people ahead of me to get their orders.  He just strolls over to ebay after his current laptop's video card goes belly up, places an order (pays more than me :P) and now all he has to do is wait. 

I sure hope somebody goes all postal with HIS DELIVERY. 

Wait, did I say that out loud?

Tact

Tact - not one of my strengths.  Sarcasm, on the other hand...

Your Man

Hahahahhaah!

I do love that commercial...

Pot Limit Omaha

Pokerati just made me Laugh Out Loud!

Bitter

She's not bitter.



She just got even (and she's friggin hawt!)

And how would you feel if you were Mrs. Cameron 3.0?  He wins and your ass is his-tor-y. 

Sarcasm

Whenever I have to update my resume' (hopefully never) I will have to add that as one of my skillz.

The Man...

I saw this while I was watching HGTV last night and actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD.  I don't know why I found this so funny.  What does that say about me?  Ah, who cares.  Just watch it.

Single Ladies

I saw this in Nathan Fillion's twitter feed this morning and OMG it is hilarious!

Bitch?

Who me?

Balance Ball Chair

I just want to know why I didn't think of this.

I have several balance balls around this place.  My kids were always stealing mine - and fighting over it - so I bought them each their own.  You haven't lived until you have heard those things slapping against the walls in the basement.

After realizing that my posture sucks and my butt hurts from sitting in the office chairs all day I even tried using one of the balance balls as my computer chair but it just wasn't convenient.

When I found this at the new Deals.Woot site I immediately broke out in a bad case of WANT!  Yes, I ordered one.  Can't wait to see how comfortable it is.  I have a lot of hope  - and a ginormous butt.  This better not let me (or my butt) down.