Saku. She/her. Adult. Argentina. Writer. Translator. Video games, linguistics, fiber arts, shitposts, and other odds and ends. My ask box is always open! Send me prompts!
Thank you shadowbroker for the awesome background and sidebar image!
I do not actually use tiktok but I do scroll through instagram reels (which are just reposted tiktoks) way too much for my own health, and I also occasionally use reddit, and I can’t help but think that these platforms and the emphasis on building your “brand” or finding your niche are pushing people to attach way too much meaning to labels. “Can I like flowers as a butch” “you shouldn’t wear yellow as a deep autumn” “what my sensory-seeking child ate today” “when you Find Your Style and realise your teenage outfits were hideous” STOP. People don’t work like that.
There’s two angles to this, I think: It’s always really obvious when somebody found an audience by posting about a specific thing and now they’re trying to retain that audience by talking about it as much as possible, so they end up relating every aspect of their lives to it even when it makes no sense if only so they can use the right hashtags; whereas on the other end of this interaction, people who mostly receive this kind of content get the impression that there are rigid and hard rules that dictate who gets to identify a certain way or engage in an activity or what a health condition looks like. Have you ever noticed how many shortform videos but also internet comments begin with a version of “As someone who…” as if it’s some kind of certificate or qualification? There is such an emphasis on labelling and clearly defining your experience! And don’t get me wrong, labels and diagnoses and community identification can be really useful, and there are conversations in which being upfront about your positionality is helpful and productive. But so many posts on the lesbian subreddit the app made me join when I made my account are along the lines of “can I still be a lesbian if x?” and “do femmes think y is attractive?” as if any of these things are monolithic, strictly defined fundamental conditions of the human soul! Even medical conditions don’t work this way because every body is different! Open yourself up to the complexity of experience!
Hard pill to swallow, maybe, but sometimes you are the problem. You may not have been initially, but people around you can only have so much endurance for understanding why you’re “like that” and how you got to where you are now. Even if you were the one who was victimized, hurt, or abused to begin with, your behavior affects those around you. There’s a point at which personal responsibility needs to kick in, or you will become toxic. You can become toxic even if you never become an abuser yourself. If other people are constantly having to help dig you out of the holes you made but you keep slapping their hands away, you cannot expect them to have an indefinite amount of patience and energy to keep trying. If you’re not putting in the work to recover from what damaged you; if everyone else in your life is consistently the only one making a real effort to effect change for you–you’re the problem.
People can give you love, but can’t make you treat yourself like someone you care about.
People can offer you resources, but can’t make you reach out and use them.
People can lay down stepping stones, but can’t make you put the work in to make progress.
If you’re expecting everyone around you to keep making the decisions and making things ok for you, you need to take a step back and some serious time for deep introspection. This doesn’t mean that others shouldn’t have compassion for you, but as difficult as things are and as tired as you are–others get tired too and can’t be expected to carry it all.
And if you blame everyone else in your life because they “gave up on you” when they reach a limit, you have a victim complex. Having been a victim does not mean you should accept perpetual victimhood.
People are allowed to say “I love you, and my love for you doesn’t mean I can sacrifice myself for you.” There’s a point at which people have to let go because they do not ultimately hold responsibility for whether you live, die, or thrive–you do.
scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon
The elongated muskrat has engaged in blatant election interference by putting out a fake voter registration page on Google ads with the clear intention to dupe voters into thinking they have actually registered to vote. It’s likely also a data harvesting tactic.
Hopefully this gets immediately flagged and taken down but we all know this fascist chucklefuck will not see consequences to his actions and this is something that would drag out in court. Spread the word. Only register to vote through state board or check vote.org for more resources. Do not register through anything else ESPECIALLY if it has some sort of clear motivation.
i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.
there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people’s genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it’s working.
a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren’t able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.
Found another idiotic accounting mistake from my predecessor that I have to fix and I was like “WILL THE SPECTER OF THAT MAN’S INCOMPETENCE EVER CEASE TO HAUNT ME” and my coworker was like “Why do you talk like that”
ALT
