my heart is broken

Автор: Юлія Лапушанська

ukraine
no
Ukraine

saying
my heart is broken
it’s saying nothing

I cry
as I cried
being billed by a husband
who hated me
for nothing

by being pregnant
I needed to say stop
to abuse
that was in my family

I always was afraid of men
my grandfather
being drunk
it’s my memory
we are three
granny
mom
and I
and he
being drunk
trying to open the door

I hate open doors
it’s not secure

I hate war
my granny and grandpa are in Ukraine
my church
my friends
neighbours

my heart is here in Heaven
with the Lord
cos it’s my real home

but there
also

I HATE
abuse

I started to be a abuser
I couldn’t get why
my husband
was kicking me back

it’s written in the Bible

that members of my family
will be the biggest enemies

I was left
but actually
I was protected
by God

after the words
“I would kill you already”
I stopped being wanted 
to live with this person
after kicking me being pregnant
‘to kick it means to love’
I’ve stop trusting and respecting this person
I still
need to protect

it’s not about
thinking anything
about what other people would think about me
it’s about saving my child

I was allowed to him
abuse me
before the moment
it started to go
to my mom being bullied by him
and 

it was already
the end

of it 


I hate abuse
I was trapped in devils lie
by missing my granny
and because of it
being not free from secular content

after the stress
I’ve received after the start of of the war
and being moved to another country


it’s all it
stress trauma

but not only

ITS GOD
OVER IT
OVER IT ALL

yes
He allowed it to be
I can get and support now
so many being in so many trash situations
and they can receive
HEALING
as I have been healed

BY HIM

it’s not about
fear
it’s not about war
it’s about healing
He is my healing
I will always be Him

marriage
is fake
it gives nothing
relationship between. girl and boy
man and woman
it’s
UNDERESTIMATED 


NOTHING FULFILS
ONLY
G O D