KILLING ME SOFTLY
CN murder, violence, sex, organized crime, blood, mention of child murder 18+
TWO
Instead of driving straight to his apartment, Jolly drives to the hospital where Olivia works, parks his car on the opposite side of the road, right in front of the entrance, turns off the engine and looks at the building.
What is he doing here anyway, he thinks to himself, shaking his head. It's complicated enough as it is and he shouldn't be intruding on Olivia's life in any way. It's enough that he lives next door to her and talks to her.
He's putting her in danger by doing that and by his mere presence here. In mortal danger and that is the very last thing he wants.
But as if by an invisible bond, Jolly is magically drawn to Olivia again and again. When she is working, especially at night, he makes sure that nothing happens to her unless he is needed elsewhere. Watches her, protects her. He has spent hours in the emergency room just to be near her or waiting outside the hospital to make sure that she gets home safely.
Since their first encounter, he has fallen for her, as he now admits. He can't explain it to himself, but Olivia brings out a side in him that he never thought existed. He doesn't even know why that is.
He divides his life so far into two sections, before and after, normality and hell. However, if he is honest with himself, he would have to add another section right now..... Hope. But he doesn't want to do that, because the tender seedling that is germinating inside him could be destroyed too quickly. So he clears his mind of such things and leans back, making himself comfortable in his seat and keeping an eye on the entrance. He waits until Olivia finishes her shift and goes home.
As he broods, lost in thought, he misses the car that has followed him and has also come to a halt a little further away from his position, just as he parks and waits.
Jolly is haunted by flashes of memories of the past, which come back every now and then when he tries to relax, to calm down.
Memories that are painful and that he would rather forget. Memories of his family that no longer exist. Wiped out and massacred in the Succession War in which Semjon was able to triumph within the organization.
Because on that cursed day, Semjon was stupidly eating at his parents' restaurant. A coincidence, because the "Maritime" was not one of Semjon's usual restaurants where he used to eat. Only that day was different....
On this shitty day, Semjon had to propose to Inga, Kolja's mother, and chose his parents' restaurant for the occasion... to create a special atmosphere, away from the usual routine and away from the structures of the organization.
Semjon had rented the entire "Maritime" for the occasion in order to be undisturbed. Only a handful of bodyguards were still with him, as well as his parents and two members of the kitchen staff. Jolly can't even remember their names, just a blur of their faces.
He was still small, if not tiny, at the time. He and his siblings, his older brother Niclas and his little sister Linnea, were staying in the restaurant's private rooms that day. The two rooms included an office and a playroom/bedroom for the children and, for example, the parents, if they had no one to babysit their children or it was too late to drive back to their house outside Stockholm....
The fact that Semjon was in Sweden at all is just as incredible a coincidence as everything else. He had retreated to Sweden to prepare himself for the decisive blow against his opponents and Sweden was close at hand, as he was madly in love with Inga, whom he wanted to make his next wife and who came from Sweden, or rather Stockholm.
Fortune was not at all kind to Jolly and his family on this shitty day...…
Linnea was already asleep and he and Niclas were still playing when all hell broke loose and Semjon's opponents' men stormed the restaurant, shooting at anything that moved. The fact that Semjon and Inga survived was nothing short of a miracle.
Jolly knows from stories that his parents must have died almost immediately. His father must have tried to protect his mother, but both were riddled with bullets. Just like the staff in the kitchen.
Apart from two bodyguards, one of whom was Oleg, Nadja's father, they also died in the hail of bullets. Semjon, Inga, Oleg and the other made it out of the building through the back door after a fierce battle in which most of the attackers were killed.
He remembers exactly how he and Niclas heard the shooting, their hearts pounding and their eyes filled with fear, and Linnea woke up and cried. Niclas then picked her up and hugged her to his chest.
He was almost 9 years old at the time and Linnea was just 2.
When the door was kicked open, Niclas stood rooted to the spot with his sister in his arms. Jolly himself ran into his parents' office, squeezing into the narrow gap between the wall and the desk, hidden from the attackers' view. When the shots rang through the silence, Jolly had to bite his hand to stop himself from crying out loud, because he knew immediately what the shots meant.
The killers must not have seen him, because when he calmed down a little and the noise in his ears subsided, he could hear nothing but silence......
He didn't dare come out for fear that someone might still be there.
When he heard footsteps again and men talking in a language that was foreign to him, he thought he would die of panic and heart-rending whimpers came from his throat, so that he was finally found. By Semjon and his men.
It took a long time for them to drag him out of his hiding place, and in the process he got the long scar on his back from cutting himself on a sharp piece of metal sticking out of the wall.
Screaming, wriggling, thrashing around and bleeding, Oleg held him down, unsure what to do with him.
Knowing Oleg now, he would probably have preferred to dispose of him straight away, to kill him, but Semjon was against it.
I bet you wish you'd killed me then, Oleg, Jolly thinks grimly, a sneer on his lips at the thought that he is now fucking Oleg's daughter.
Jolly later asks Semjon why he took him with him, why he didn't have him killed or simply left him there, and gets the following explanatory answer: "You fought, you showed that you were strong, even though you were still so small!"
That is perhaps his biggest mistake, to fight to the last breath even when it seems hopeless.....
Semjon brought Jolly into the organization as his protégé, making him a child of the organization with no chance of escaping. That is now his fate.....
The next few years were hard, he was drilled mercilessly until he was old enough to fight back, then things got better. When Semjon, who had almost forgotten him, realized how good he was with weapons, he quickly became the man for discreet kills and his rise in the organization began.
Sighing, Jolly leans his head against the headrest of his car, he should know better, this could be the mistake of his life..... So far he hasn't made a mistake, well the one with Nadja, but he only touched her when he had Semjon's permission to do so....
But this.... Involving a bystander in the criminal, brutal machinations of the Russian mafia.... Absolute madness!
Jolly knows that if something like this happened, the women were either eliminated or brought into the organization. He wants neither for Olivia. But then what does he want from her at all..…
He wants a piece of his peace of mind back, perhaps this is possible by making sure that nothing happens to Olivia in this distorted picture of normality. He makes sure that she can live her life, that it isn't completely turned upside down like his and so many others who didn't even know why or wherefore, just because they met the wrong people or were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like his family.... Like him......
It is already getting light when he sees Olivia leaving the hospital. Even from a distance, he can see how tired and exhausted she looks. She's rummaging in her large handbag, how can she possibly find anything in there, Jolly thinks, as a man approaches and speaks to her.
Frowning, Jolly sits up, sharpens his gaze and tenses up, mainly because Olivia flinches and pulls away from his grip on her elbow.
Jolly can't hear anything, but he can see enough to know that Olivia is shouting at the guy, who is arguing back. Enraged, she storms off, he can make out the flash of her eyes all the way here, the guy after her.
He drums nervously on his steering wheel, FUCK, what should he do now?
Without thinking further, he reaches for the case, takes out his new gun and the magazine for it, loads it and pulls the trigger, sticks it in the back of his waistband and gets out. He smoothes his shirt so that the gun is concealed and runs across the street.
His pursuers become aware of this and one of them also gets out, following Jolly at a safe distance so that he does not become aware of him.
Jolly is oblivious to his surroundings at the moment, something that never happens to him, his focus is on Olivia and the guy running after her, talking to her over and over again.
Anger wells up inside Jolly, what the hell does he want from her and who is he anyway?
Since he's been in contact with Olivia, she's never had any male visitors and when he asked her, as if in passing, about a partner during an innocuous conversation, she denied both and then looked at him waiting, questioningly....
He then explained that a woman had no place in his life and never would, to which Olivia nodded with a raised eyebrow.
The guy continues to chase Olivia, who stubbornly walks towards the subway with her head down and disappears down the stairs. The guy shouts after her.
Jolly quickens his steps to almost catch up with the man. A quick sideways glance is enough to give him another impression of him. He is tall, about the same height as him, has dark hair that is cut short, looks well toned and has pleasant features in themselves, though distorted by the anger that reigns within him.
Olivia has also quickened her steps and is now almost running to the subway, hurrying inside. The doors close behind her and the train starts to move.
FUCK! The guy next to Jolly yells and hits his thigh with his fist, getting upset.
Jolly looks at him with lowered eyelids. His clothes seem high quality, if not expensive. The watch he's wearing is a Breitling... anything but cheap. His signet ring shows the staff of Asclepius. So doctor.... Jolly also appreciates being from a rich family.
He stands there calmly and watches the man walk up and down, swearing to himself, and then run back up the steps and out into the street.
Jolly stays on his heels.
The man walks to the hospital parking garage and is about to get into his Audi when Jolly grabs him from behind and pushes him against the car, pressing the gun into his back.
Jolly looks around quickly, there is no one to be seen, the surveillance cameras do not reach the entire corner of the parking garage.
The man under his grip begins to tremble, swallows several times, "You can have my money...." he gasps and tries to reach for his wallet.
"Don't!" grumbles Jolly quietly, trying to disguise his accent.
"What... what do you want from me?" the guy stammers.
Yes, what does he actually want from him? This action right now is more than stupid and completely ill-conceived. Jolly has let his feelings guide him, not even remotely thinking about what this can and will do.....
Actually, he should kill the guy now.... But Jolly hesitates.
"The doctor...." he hisses.
"Olivia??!" the man is astonished and wants to turn around.
"NOT!" Jolly growls dangerously.
"What... what does Olivia have to do with this?" gasps the man.
Just everything, Jolly thinks to himself.
"The doctor, keep your hands off her!" he rumbles.
The man freezes, "Olivia?" he asks again.
Jolly rolls his eyes in annoyance, is this guy somehow stupid? He presses the pistol harder into his back, his kidneys, causing the man to whimper in pain. What a wimp, Jolly thinks contemptuously.
"Leave her alone!" he grumbles quietly.
"Olivia??" whimpers the man.
Jolly has to fight down the impulse to pull the trigger, so he growls, "YES! Don't push her again, keep your hands off her or you'll regret it! Do you understand that?"
"Yes, yes.... Please...." the guy whimpers pathetically.
Jolly grabs the man by his hair and rams his head against the frame of the car, causing the man to scream and collapse. He lies on the ground whimpering, holding his bleeding nose. Jolly bends over him from behind, "This never happened! You don't go to the police, don't tell anyone or I'll come back......"
Startled, the man whimpers again, but at the same time nods his head vigorously, "I'm not talking to anyone!" he swears immediately.
"Good!" Jolly pats his head, stands up, puts his gun back in the back of his pants and slowly walks back to the exit as if nothing had happened.
He doesn't notice his shadow, which has been watching and listening to all this.
When Jolly gets out of the elevator, Olivia is standing in front of her apartment door, struggling with her door key. The door is stuck again. Something that happens all the time.
Frantically, she kicks the door, then screams at it, "DAMN!"
Jolly approaches her from behind, reaches for the door key, which is still in the lock but won't budge.
As if stung by a tarantula, Olivia scoots around to him, staring at him with wide eyes, terrified.
She looks enchanting, he thinks, seeing how individual brown strands have come loose from her bun and gently frame her face, how her cherry-red mouth is slightly open and her emerald-green eyes are shining......
Jolly has to clear his throat, "Can I help?" he asks quietly.
"Um...." Olivia pulls herself together, then nods, "Yes, please... the fucking key's stuck, the lock's jammed again. I can't get the fucking door open!"
Jolly smiles and gently pushes her aside, "Let me do it!"
It's easy for him to unlock the key again and open the door. So far, he has managed to open every door lock.
"You need a new lock!" he explains, "This one is broken!"
"I know!" sighs Olivia, "It's urgently needed!"
"Urgently needed?" asks Jolly, noticing her tone of voice.
"Yes....." Olivia throws her hands in the air, "Oh, forget it!"
Jolly raises an eyebrow, looking at her questioningly.
Olivia rolls her eyes, "My ex!" she then sighs.
"Oh!" nods Jolly, thinking about the asshole he just told to leave Olivia alone.
"Yeah.... Nothing wild really, but he won't leave me in peace since he got back!" she explains.
"Has he been away?" Jolly wants to know.
"Yes, a year in Spain!" Olivia nods and yawns.
"You're tired!" says Jolly.
"Yes, I am!" sighs Olivia.
"Then.... I'd better leave you alone!" he nods.
"Hmm," Olivia mumbles vaguely and looks at him.
Jolly can hardly tear himself away from her gaze.
Olivia's gaze flits briefly to her apartment before she looks at Jolly again, "Um, do you want to come in for a coffee?" she asks quietly, "I'm tired, but I'm still a bit buzzed, I can't sleep like this anyway...." she explains hastily.
Jolly is struck by lightning. What should he do now? He knows he has to stay away from her, but standing next to her now, talking to her, feels so good. So familiar, so he nods without thinking further, "I'd love to!"
Olivia beams at him and pushes her door open, "Come on then!" she smiles.
Jolly looks around inconspicuously. Her apartment has the same layout as his, but the furnishings are completely different from his.
While his is plain, orderly simplicity and muted, rather bright colors, Olivia's furnishing style can at best be described as chaotic and an explosion of color.
His heart constricts as he looks around her living area. It reminds him painfully of his parents' living room. It was colorful, warm and cozy there too.
Olivia has a large dark green velvet couch with colourful cushions and patchwork blankets as the central point in the room, a solid wooden coffee table in front of it, two stools and two expansive armchairs nestled around it, all in different shades of green that harmonize wonderfully together. A light, soft carpet underneath completes everything.
The walls are lined with shelves overflowing with books and a massive antique cupboard. Where there is space, there are pictures, photos and posters.
The large floor-to-ceiling window is adorned with a heavy, dark green velvet curtain in the same color as the couch.
"Sit wherever you can find space!" Olivia smiles apologetically and hurriedly removes individual items of clothing that are strewn across the upholstered furniture.
Jolly's gaze lingers on a black lace bra and he has to pull himself together not to imagine Olivia in it.... And only in it....
Jolly pushes the cushions to one side and takes a seat on the couch. On the coffee table in front of him are various specialist journals, medical textbooks, but also a novel by Jane Austen.
Curious, Jolly picks it up, leafs through it and reads individual sections.
"My favorite novel ...." smiles Olivia as she leans against the doorway to the kitchen area, "I've read Pride and Prejudice at least 10 times, if not more!" she nods.
"Hmm, I haven't once...." admits Jolly.
"I wouldn't have expected that!" she laughs warmly and Jolly's heart tightens.
"I do read!" he defends himself.
"But not romance novels from another century!" Olivia adds teasingly.
"Hm, maybe!" Jolly shrugs his shoulder and puts the novel down again.
"Milk? Sugar?" Olivia wants to know from him, "But I only have cow's milk and white sugar here!" she adds.
"Both please and both perfectly ok for me!" smiles Jolly.
"Phew, lucky you!" Olivia laughs and puts the carton of milk and the jar with sugar and a spoon in it in front of him, goes back and gets the coffee for herself and him.
Olivia sits down across from him in an armchair, half curls up in it and takes a sip from her mug, "Hmm, just what I needed!" she groans in pleasure.
"Hard shift?" Jolly wants to know and also takes a sip of his coffee.
"Hmm, the usual...." waves Olivia off, "Blood, screaming, some drama and the occasional nice patient!"
"Hmm," nods Jolly, thinking to herself that their work is similar in a way. He knows enough about blood and drama and screaming.
"About your ex then?" Jolly probes quietly.
Olivia sighs, "Michael...." she mumbles, "Yeah, probably. He's..... complicated! He won't accept that I've left him." she explains.
"Hmm" Jolly nods, THAT problem should have been solved, he thinks to himself and smiles as he takes another sip from his cup.
"And you? Were you out?" she wants to know and scrutinizes him, running her eyes over his body.
"Not exactly.... More like a business engagement... a professional meeting that I couldn't avoid!" he explains, stretching.
Olivia narrows her eyes, "WHAT are you actually doing? Sorry to ask so directly, you don't have to answer.... I mean, sorry, forget the question.... I'm just way too direct sometimes.... Speak before I think."
Jolly laughs softly to herself, then looks her in the eye, seeing the slight blush that has crept onto her cheeks.
"Hmm, I'm something of a personal assistant, bodyguard for an important man!" he describes his job, "Solving problems for him!" he explains further. Usually for good, he adds in his mind.
"Oh!" Olivia looks at him with wide eyes, "Isn't that dangerous?" she wants to know.
"Hmm, I'm quite good at it!" he smiles, "As you can see, I'm still alive!"
"Lucky for you!" Olivia blurts out, her cheeks darkening a touch more, "Um, I mean, good thing you're good at it!" she explains quickly, drinking hastily from her cup.
Jolly's eyes rest on her under lowered lids. FUCK, he needs to get out of here! He has to distance himself from her again, he doesn't know if he can control himself otherwise as he would love to pull her into his arms and kiss her.....
Just as he's about to get up and say goodbye with an excuse, the next question comes from Olivia.
"I've just realized, I don't even know your name!" she blurts out.
"Jo...." begins Jolly and wants to say Jolly because EVERYONE calls him that, he got this nickname from Semjon and it's been HIS name ever since. But he stops, thinks for a moment and then decides on his real name, the name his parents gave him. "Joakim!" he declares.
"Joakim...." Olivia lets it slide over her tongue, hitting the right pronunciation, "It suits you! Where is it from?"
"Sweden!" Jolly whispers harshly.
"Ahh, hence the slight accent, I thought it must be something European!" she smiles warmly at him.
"Hmm, I'm from Sweden, but I've been here in America for as long as I can remember!" he mumbles.
Olivia looks at him questioningly, "Because your parents moved here?"
"My parents are dead!" Jolly explains gruffly, "I was raised here by..... relatives!" which is a little closer to the truth, because the organization is a kind of family.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean...." apologizes Olivia hastily.
"It's ok, that was over 30 years ago... I barely remember it!" waves Jolly off.
"I really didn't mean to.... Please, I...." Olivia tries.
Jolly smiles at her, "It's all right! I just don't like talking about it!"
"Hmm" Olivia nods, not fully convinced.
Jolly realizes that he has just revealed far too much about himself. Also something that is completely out of character for him. Even to Nadja he never talks about his family, doesn't want her to refer to him as Joakim.
"Um, I have to go now!" he declares and stands up.
Olivia looks at him, then nods, "Yes, I should go to bed now too!" she mumbles and gets up.
"Sit still, I'll find my own way out!" Jolly shakes his head and takes a step towards her, ramming the coffee table with his leg, causing the cup to slide as he hastily placed it on the pile of books.
Jolly and Olivia reach for it at the same time and both get hold of the cup. Their hands are on top of each other. Jolly's over Olivia's.
Her skin is infinitely soft and rather cool, his hand calloused and warm. Electric shivers race through Jolly's body just from this touch and he notices how the fine hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
Instinctively, his fingers slide between hers, his thumb gently stroking her skin. When he looks up, looks at Olivia, her eyes burn into his soul. Dark green and unfathomable, they rest on him.
Jolly has to swallow, time stands still for a moment as they stare at each other.
Neither he nor she dares to move for fear that the moment will be irretrievably gone. So they stare quietly into each other's eyes until Jolly's cell phone buzzes audibly in his pocket, shattering the moment.
Apologetically, Jolly pulls his hand back and takes out his cell phone. Semjon.....
"Um...it....." he swallows, "I have to get this!"
Olivia nods dumbly, watching after him as he walks to the door, taking the call as he does so, opening the door and disappearing.
Jolly is completely confused, what the fuck has just happened. He answers Semjon with a corresponding lack of concentration, having not even heard what he said to him.
"Uh, what?" he gasps and unlocks his apartment door.
"You should come. Now!" Semjon growls at him.
"Give me five minutes and I'll be on my way!" promises Jolly.
"All right, but hurry up. I've got something for you to do!" Semjon grumbles.
"I see! I'm on my way!" nods Jolly.
When he hangs up, he has to lean against the wall and take a deep breath.
FUCK, this must not happen again under any circumstances. He has to avoid Olivia like the devil avoids holy water, otherwise he's doomed and so is Olivia!!!
