[SBS/10:00pm] Turn Me On: The History Of The Vibrator - Explores the history of the vibrator. Through a group of sexpert characters, the documentary uncovers the socially camouflaged sex toy - hidden in the underwear drawer since it was invented over 120 years ago.
[SBS/10:20pm] The Sperminator - The Sperminator investigates how under the pretence of good medicine, Dr Cecil Jacobson, a British-trained fertility expert, helped dozens of women in the small community of Alexandria, Virginia in the US to have babies. The documentary uncovers how he neglected to tell the happy parents one crucial fact - he was the father. Rpt.
[SBS/1:15am Sat] Notorious C.H.O. - Korean-American comedienne Margaret Cho's performance at the Paramount Theatre in Seattle. The show is preceded by an animated two-hander that defuses cultural stereotypes through caricature. It's followed by an interview with Margaret Cho, interviews with the audience before the show and an interview with Cho's parents. Cho's one-woman show sends up September 11, the anthrax scare, gay bars, colonic irrigation, periods, token roles by Asians on US TV, drag queens, her mother's accent and many more social issues. Rpt.
[Seven/12:00pm] Movie: Thelma & Louise (US 1991) GEENA DAVIS stars alongside SUSAN SARANDON as Thelma and Louise - two friends caught up in a weekend away from their men that becomes a race for their lives. Also starring BRAD PITT, HARVEY KEITEL, MICHAEL MADSEN and CHRISTOPHER MCDONALD.
[Seven/12:00am Sat] Movie: Navy Seals (US 1990) CHARLIE SHEEN, MICHAEL BIEHN and JOANNE WHALLEY-KILMER star in this action adventure based on the heroic missions of the world's most elite, superbly-trained commando unit - the U.S. Navy SEALS. Also starring RICK ROSSOVICH, CYRIL O'REILLY, BILL PAXTON, DENNIS HAYSBERT, PAUL SANCHEZ, NICHOLAS KADI, RON JOSEPH, S EPATHA MERKERSON, GREG MCKINNEY, ROB MORAN, RICHARD VENTURE, MARK CARLTON, IRA WHEELER, RON FABER, BILL CORT, RANDY HALL and DUNCAN SMITH.
[ABC/8:30pm] Murphy’s Law: Strong Box. Callard (Mark Womack) asks Murphy (James Nesbitt) to get his hands on counterfeit euros. Murphy turns to fellow undercover officer Jill Calder (Kate Fleetwood) for help. She's infiltrated an operation; her intentions are to get to the man behind the print. If Murphy and Calder can get the print to supply fake notes and Callard to buy them, they'll both get their men behind bars. Murphy's nerve and Jill's expertise convince Callard's buyer that they can get the best fakes on the market. However, the order is unusually large, three quarters of a million, but Murphy assures the buyer he and Calder can deliver. In doing so, Murphy treads on the toes of Jimmy The Print who decides to teach Murphy a lesson.
[ABC/9:20pm] Spooks. The world is on the brink of war with Iran and despite the Government's reluctance to go to war again in this climate of playing lap dog to America, the UK may be forced to do so. Harry (Peter Firth) is determined to remind everyone that MI5 is not a CIA out-station so when the team catches the CIA illegally extraditing another British/Iranian citizen based on a flimsy terrorism charge, Harry makes a stand and forces the CIA to release the prisoner - Khurvin (Philip Arditti). Khurvin subsequently murders an MI5 surveillance team and Harry is suspended. Juliet takes control of the Grid and instructs the team to re-capture Khurvin before he commits an act of terror and forces the country into war with Iran. As the team follows up clues Harry, unable to face life outside the service, starts his own investigation into the case. Secretly liaising with Adam (Rupert Penry-Jones), both investigations lead them to Pollard (Peter Vollebergt), an American mercenary working on behalf of big businesses in the US which will profit from another war. The team captures Khurvin and Pollard. Harry is reinstated.
[Ten/7:30pm] Big Brother Friday Night Live
[Ovation/7:30pm] Inside the Actors Studio. Harrison Ford
[UKTV/9:30pm] Bad Girls
SATURDAY 12
[SBS/1:00pm] San Remo Song Festival 2007 - Screening in five weekly parts, this program features highlights from the 57th Italian Festival of song, Il Festival di Sanremo, which will be hosted by Michelle Hunziker and Pippo Baudo. Guest stars include: Norah Jones, Scissor Sisters, Joss Stone, Take That. (From Italy, in Italian, English subtitles) (Part 2) (Entertainment) G
[SBS/3:00pm] The McDonagh Sisters - A documentary about three Australian sisters - a filmmaking trio from the 1930s - one of whom was the first woman to be credited with the title of director in Australia. Theirs is an interesting story about the trials, triumphs and eventual demise of the burgeoning Australian filmmaking industry. When the Hollywood system bombarded Australia with their product, an emerging Australian film industry was trampled. (From Australia, in English) (Documentary) (Rpt) G WS
[SBS/7:30pm] Finland, Zero Points will be screened on Saturday, 12 May at 7.30pm, on SBS Television. ”Finland zero points”. This sentence has often marked the Finnish path at the Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) during the past four decades, until last year’s victory by the hilarious monster heavy group Lordi. Finland, Zero Points is a humorous story mixing entertainment and history. Finns on the north-east fringe of Europe have always placed a lot of hope in the Eurovision entries since 1961. Their lack of success has, therefore, traumatised two generations of Finns - either they love the ESC or they hate it. Archives used in the documentary link together the songs, artists and post-war history. We follow the preparations for the coming 2007 final in Helsinki, getting glimpses behind the scenes.
[SBS/8:30pm] Eurovision. Preliminary Final. The preliminary final of the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest will screen on SBS Television on Saturday, 12 May at 8.30pm, with the Eurovision final screening the following day on Sunday 13 May at 8.30pm. SBS will receive the United Kingdom's broadcast, including commentary from Paddy O'Connell and Terry Wogan. Viewed by over 100 million people around the globe, the Eurovision Song Contest is the world’s largest and most watched song festival. It has been screening every year since 1956 in most European countries and holds the record for the longest running program on television. Eurovision is one of SBS Television’s most popular annual events. A record-breaking 42 countries will take part in this year’s 52nd Eurovision Song Contest. The contest will take place in Helsinki, Finland and will be hosted by Jaana Pelkonen and Mikko Leppilampi. The theme for this year’s contest is True Fantasy. Much more than just a song contest, Eurovision is a cult event. Stars are born during the spectacular show and the event has produced some legendary names and icons of kitsch: Abba, Bucks Fizz, Sandie Shaw, Brotherhood of Man, Dana International, Celine Dion, Katrina and the Waves, Lulu and Australia’s Gina G.The 28 countries that will compete in the semi-final in order of appearance are: Bulgaria, Israel, Cyprus, Belarus, Iceland, Georgia, Montenegro, Switzerland, Moldova, The Netherlands, Albania, Denmark, Croatia, Poland, Serbia, Czech Republic, Portugal, FYR of Macedonia, Norway, Malta, Andorra, Hungary, Estonia, Belgium, Slovenia, Turkey, Austria and Latvia. According to the format, 14 countries have already secured their place in the grand-final, including last year’s winner (Finland), the four largest countries in the contest (France, Germany, Spain and the United Kingdom), as well the nine top scoring countries from the previous year’s competition. These countries are: Bosnia-Herzegovina, Ireland, Lithuania, Greece, Sweden, Russia, Ukraine, Romania, and Armenia.’
[SBS/10:40pm] Movie: Get Ready To Be Boyzvoiced - Inspired by the delicious This is Spinal Tap, this rock/mockumentary focuses on the travails, loves and heartaches of a Norwegian boy band called Boyzvoice over a period of six months. Directed by Espen Eckbo, Henrik Elvestad and Mathis Fürst, and stars Espen Eckbo, Kaare Daniel Steen and Øyvind Thoen. (From Norway, in English and Norwegian, English subtitles) (Comedy) (2000) (Rpt) M (S,A) WS
[SBS/12:15am Sat] S O S - Shorts On Screen - Astronauts - Animation of two astronauts travelling through space. One of them discovers a big red button marked "Do Not Press". He presses it. Winner of the best animated short at MIFF 2006. (From England, in English) G; Wanker - From art galleries to the poetry reading bars, when the pretentious champagne set try to 'outwank' each other chaos eventually ensues. A dark comedy about the people we love to hate. (From Australia, in English) G; Bare - Roses, cherries, fish, goats, shimmering ponds and swan-like throats, verdant forests and golden hair, guy gets lyrical, girl gets bare. (From Ireland, in English) G; Miss Puniverse - A send up of Miss Universe, Miss Puniverse contest is fiercely competitive and can become political (From Australia, in English) (Rpt) PG; Hollywood By Accident - All his life, Adrien Peretti has been mistaken for a girl, this changes his whole life. (From France, in French, English subtitles) (Rpt) G; Noodle Soup - It's a hot and sticky summer evening in NYC. Senz, a streetwise buddy enters a homey Chinese restaurant downtown. He orders noodle soup. Then he realises he has forgotten his money. A tough cook kicks him into a darkroom behind the kitchen for punishment. (From the US, in English and Cantonese, English subtitles) (Rpt) M; Tarif Unique – A schemer plans to extort money from distraught parents by enticing their daughters to perform in a mythical horror film. (From France, in French, English subtitles) (Rpt) M; Boy Meets Girl Stories - That Same Night - A young man is thinking about the fact that he has made love to two different girls during the night. (From the Netherlands, in Dutch, English subtitles) PG
[Nine/2:00pm] The Lost Tribes. Rpt.
[Nine/7:30pm] Primeval. Swimming pools, inner-city reservoirs and flooded cellars in suburban homes are being overtaken with prehistoric reptiles, which have all come through the space-time anomalies. The gang go to investigate, but Nick is more concerned with finding his wife. Stars Douglas Henshall and Lucy Brown. Some Violence [V]
[ABC/7:30pm] The Sideshow With Paul McDermott
[ABC/9:25pm] Spooks. Dennis Waterman, Alun Armstrong, James Bolam and Amanda Redman star as Britain's crack new investigation squad in New Tricks screening Saturday 12 May at 9.25pm on ABC TV. This week, the murder of a peace campaigner at a NATO base in 1984 takes the Unsolved Crime and Open Case team back to a time of conspiracy, paranoia and police hatred. Young peace campaigner Josh Livesey was found dead in woods near a NATO base in 1984 but his killer was never captured. When one of the dead man's friends, Frank Fox (Pearce Quigley), is locked up in Broadmoor for another murder, UCOS is given the job of re-examining the case. Frank and the other campaigners Imogen Hoult (Suzanna Hamilton), Colin Dobie (Jonny Phillips) and Eleanor Clement (Nadia Cameron-Blakey) all claimed innocence, but refused to co-operate with police, blaming Josh's death on a secret service conspiracy. Sandra (Amanda Redman) wants to contact Special Branch, much to the dismay of the paranoid Jack (James Bolam), Gerry (Dennis Waterman) and Brian (Alun Armstrong). To his alarm, Brian has no memory of Ed Koumas, an officer on the case. Gerry and Sandra visit an ideological Eleanor on her houseboat, while Brian revisits Frank who reveals Josh had a secret. As the team try to discover why Special Branch cared about the protesters so much, they realise that are still many secrets among the small band of protesters. Rpt.
[ABC/10:20pm] Parkinson. Tonight on Parkinson, Sharon Osbourne talks of addiction and plastic surgery; Liza Minnelli reveals she slept out in New York, and Lionel Richie explains that 'All Night Long' is closer to ‘a fierce 30 minutes' these days. And one of the guests makes Parkinson cry…Parkinson's first guest, Liza Minnelli reveals that despite famous parents, her first job in New York left her sleeping on a park bench before she'd even turned 16. Liza Minnelli: "I thought, 'Oh how terrific I'll go and I'll sleep on that park bench that's always in the movies!' The first night was fine, the second night (does the voice of an old man) "Hello little girl - what do you want?" I thought 'I've got to get out of here, get me out of here!". Parkinson: "That wasn't in the script." Liza Minnelli: "It wasn't in my script, no." Liza also reveals how a career of cabaret and strenuous dance routines has taken its toll on her health and left her in pain. She then performs an emotional rendition of Quiet Love by Charles Aznavour. Michael's second guest, Sharon Osbourne, talks of addiction and plastic surgery; why it was so difficult being overweight in Hollywood, and how she hopes to cope when she has her gastric band taken off later this year. Parkinson's final guest, Lionel Richie has sold more than 100,000,000 records over four decades. He reveals how this has taken its toll.
[Seven/6:30pm] The Great Outdoors. Jennifer Hawkins takes the 'Sound Of Music' tour in Salzburg. Exclusive behind the scenes with Dreamworld's baby Sumatran Tiger Cubs. Ernie boards the Mornington Peninsula's musical train, where there's a new band in every carriage. See the 8th Wonder of the World in a secret part of Africa. Tom Williams takes us to his favourite holiday destination in Australia. Why Autumn in Canberra is ablaze with colour - especially seen from a hot air balloon.
[Seven/12:00am Sun] Movie: 28 Days Later (UK 2002) After a virus wipes out most of the planet, a handful of survivors try to save the human race from extinction. A bitter struggle to get out of the city with fellow survivors to a military encampment at Manchester follows - but there, their troubles are just beginning... Starring ALEX PALMER, BINDU DE STOPPANI, JUKKA HILTUNEN, DAVID SCHNEIDER, CILLIAN MURPHY and TOBY SEDGWICK.
[MovieOne/7:30pm] 2007 FilmInk Awards. Hosted by Josh Lawson from the State Theatre, Sydney.
[Bio/7:30pm] Inside the Actor’s Studio. Sarah Jessica Parker
SUNDAY 13
[Seven/10:00am] Live n Local Up Close. Today we bring you unusually "Up Close" with BOB EVANS, aka Kevin Mitchell, lead singer of Aussie band JEBEDIAH. Riding on the success of his sophomore album “Suburban Songbook”, we feature three vibrant performances form the 2007 West Coast Blues & Roots Festival. Fronted by SARAH McLEOD, it’s the ultimate experience for the ultimate fan.
[Seven/11:30am] Movie: Inspector Clouseau (UK 1968) ALAN ARKIN stars as the curse of the French police force, suave but bumbling, Inspector Clouseau. This time he's on special assignment to Scotland Yard, up against a gang of clever bank robbers. Fortunately, for all the clumsy Clouseau is blessed with more than his share of luck as he solves the case one mistake at a time. Also starring DELIA BOCCARDO, FRANK FINLAY, PATRICK CARGILL, BARRY FOSTER and CLIVE FRANCIS.
[Seven/6:30pm] Where Are they Now? Mel and Kochie reunite the cast of KINGSWOOD COUNTRY, the popular Australian sitcom that revolved around the Bullpitt family. They also track down rapper MC HAMMER, two anti-Iraq war protesters - DAVE BURGESS and WILL SAUNDERS who painted 'no war' on the Sydney Opera House in 2003 and NIGEL PLANER who starred as Neil Pye in the British sitcom The Young Ones. Aussie girlband GIRLFRIEND perform live in the studio and tonight's MYSTERY GUEST is an actress who got her big break in one of America's most popular TV series. Hosted by MELISSA DOYLE and DAVID KOCH.
[Seven/7:30pm] Ugly Betty. SWAG. When Christine announces she's getting ready to clean out 'the closet' - Mode's repository of high fashion clothes and accessories - the assistants whip themselves into a frenzy over who will get the cast-off swag. But Betty is too busy to even think about this perk when a $20,000 expense report she filed for Daniel has been rejected and his credit card cut off, making it impossible for him to wine and dine an important Japanese designer, Oshi. Meanwhile, her dad's HMO has suspended his insurance. Starring AMERICA FERRERA, ERIC MABIUS, VANESSA WILLIAMS, ALAN DALE, TONY PLANA, ANA ORTIZ, ASHLEY JENSEN, BECKI NEWTON, MARK INDELICATO, MICHAEL URIE, KEVIN SUSSMAN, BIANCA CHIMINELLO, CHRISTOPHER GORHAM and DARLENA TEJEIRO.
[Seven/8:30pm] Grey’s Anatomy. SIX DAYS - PART 1. The O'Malley family celebrate after George's fathers heart surgery is a success. Thatcher Grey visits Seattle Grace in order to see his new granddaughter. Meredith discovers that Derek has trouble sleeping soundly. Guest starring GEORGE DZUNDZA and GREG PITTS. Starring ELLEN POMPEO, PATRICK DEMPSEY, SANDRA OH, T R KNIGHT, JUSTIN CHAMBERS, KATHERINE HEIGL, CHANDRA WILSON, ISAIAH WASHINGTON, JAMES PICKENS, JR, KATE WALSH, SARA RAMIREZ, ERIC DANE, MAE WHITMAN, STEVEN W BAILEY, SARAH UTTERBACK, JUDITH HOAG, JEFF PERRY, TIM GRIFFIN, MOE IRVIN, RHOMEYN JOHNSON, JAKE MAILEY, MICHAEL JAMES THOMPSON and DEBRA MONK.
[Seven/12:00am Mon] Movie: Summer Of Sam (US 1999) SPIKE LEE's take on the 'Son of Sam' murders in New York City during the summer of 1977 centering on the residents of an Italian- American South Bronx neighbourhood. Starring JOHN LEGUIZAMO, MIRA SORVINO, ANTHONY LAPAGLIA, BEN GAZZARA, JENNIFER ESPOSITO, SAVERIO GUERRA, BRIAN TARANTINA, ADRIEN BRODY and MICHAEL RISPOLI.
[Nine/1:00pm] Movie: Evil Under the Sun (US 1982)
[Nine/6:30pm] The Lost Tribes. Povey family finally meet their tribal hosts but they're not happy about the primitive living conditions and threaten to walk out. Meanwhile in Africa, the women are angry that they have to do all the hard work while the men in the tribe do very little. The girls struggle with the rule that they can't wash while staying with the tribe and get a rude shock when they learn about bush toilets!
[Nine/8:30pm] CSI. “Living Legend.” The remains of Mickey Dunn, a wanted Las Vegas mobster who disappeared in the mid 1970's, are fished out of a lake. Soon after, another body is found murdered with a photograph of the victim, Dunn and three other men, with X's on the faces of the victims. It quickly becomes apparent that the other three men may also be targets. Guest stars Roger Daltrey. Stars Marg Helgenberger and Jorja Fox. Some Violence [V]
[Nine/9:30pm] CSI: Miami. “High Octane” After an accident where the driver was decapitated during a dangerous stunt, the evidence leads the CSI's to believe it was more than an accident. While gathering the evidence, the CSI's find they must go into the world of "sideshow". Stars David Caruso and Emily Procter. Strong Violence [V]
[ABC/7:30pm] Robin Hood. The Nottingham Fair arrives, bringing with it the lure of the silver arrow competition. But Robin (Jonas Armstrong) must resist temptation until he has dealt with something more pressing: the Sheriff's (Keith Allen) move to buy Saracen slave labour for his lethal mine. The slaves have been drafted in as a solution to striking miners. Among those on strike are young Rowan Dunne (Lyndon Ogbourne) and his father. Gisborne (Richard Armitage) arrives to quash the rebellion and kills Rowan's father as punishment. Rowan vows revenge. In the forest, Robin and the gang ambush a prison wagon containing the slaves. Among the prisoners is Djaq (Anjali Jay), a boy who speaks English. With Djaq's help the outlaws blow up the mine. Meanwhile, Rowan decides to exact his revenge on Gisborne by killing the woman he loves - Marian (Lucy Griffiths). However, Marian shrewdly talks him out of it.
[ABC/8:30pm] Bastard Boys. Premiere. It was the fight that stopped the nation - the 1998 battle for Australia's waterfront. More than just a dispute over reform, it became a war for the hearts and minds of Australians. Political thriller, war epic, buddy movie, love story and courtroom drama rolled into one, BASTARD BOYS is the riveting story of the people behind one of the greatest conflicts in Australia's industrial history. This special event premieres over two consecutive nights, Sunday 13 and Monday 14 May at 8.30pm on ABC TV. Colin Friels and Jack Thompson lead an outstanding cast featuring Geoff Morrell (Blue Heelers, Grass Roots), Daniel Frederiksen (Stingers), Anthony Hayes (Look Both Ways, Changi), Daniel Wyllie (Love My Way, The Shark Net), Justin Smith (Queen Kat, Carmel and St Jude), Justine Clarke (Look Both Ways) and Rhys Muldoon (Dr Bogle and Mrs Chandler, Grass Roots). GREG'S WAR: In November 1997, the National Secretary of the Maritime Union of Australia (MUA), John Coombs (Colin Friels), receives a mysterious phone call warning him of a top secret plan to remove union members from the waterfront. John calls upon Greg Combet (Daniel Frederiksen), Assistant Secretary of the Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU) for support. Suspecting the government is somehow involved, they devise a three-pronged strategy to fight back. The union wins round one! Then, out of the blue, the wharfies are locked out of Patrick Stevedores' berths at Melbourne's Webb Dock. With John in Sydney, Greg must try to salvage the situation. It will be a long, hard fight ahead. JOSH'S WAR: Young up-and-coming lawyer Josh Bornstein (Justin Smith) is outraged by the events taking place on the docks in Melbourne and offers his services pro-bono to Greg Combet and the union movement. Amazed to discover Greg hasn't finalised any sort of legal strategy yet, Josh urges a radical new approach - don't wait to be attacked. Attack first. Take the company and possibly even the government to court for conspiracy. It's visionary and scary! Josh and the team engage in a race against time to try to forestall what they know is now imminent - the mass sacking of Patrick's entire unionised workforce. But literally hours before they're due in court, the event they've all been dreading takes place. In the dead of night, three days before Easter, security guards with batons and dogs march MUA members off the Patrick docks around the country. Before it is over, the entire country will be divided.
[SBS/7:30pm] Eurovision Song Contest 2007. Final. The final of the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest will screen on SBS Television on Sunday, 13 May at 7.30pm. SBS will receive the United Kingdom's broadcast, including commentary from Paddy O'Connell and Terry Wogan. Viewed by over 100 million people around the globe, the Eurovision Song Contest is the world’s largest and most watched song festival. It has been screening every year since 1956 in most European countries and holds the record for the longest running program on television. Eurovision is one of SBS Television’s most popular annual events. A record-breaking 42 countries will take part in this year’s 52nd Eurovision Song Contest. The contest will take place in Helsinki, Finland and will be hosted by Jaana Pelkonen and Mikko Leppilampi. The theme for this year’s contest is True Fantasy. Much more than just a song contest, Eurovision is a cult event. Stars are born during the spectacular show and the event has produced some legendary names and icons of kitsch: Abba, Bucks Fizz, Sandie Shaw, Brotherhood of Man, Dana International, Celine Dion, Katrina and the Waves, Lulu and Australia’s Gina G. According to the format, 14 countries have secured their place in the grand-final, including last year’s winner (Finland), the four largest countries in the contest (France, Germany, Spain and the United Kingdom), as well the nine top scoring countries from the previous year’s competition. These countries are: Bosnia-Herzegovina, Ireland, Lithuania, Greece, Sweden, Russia, Ukraine, Romania, and Armenia.’
[SBS/10:30pm] Movie: You Can't Stop The Murders. Australian small-town cop Gary enjoys his nearly pastoral existence, with traffic violations providing the major excitement to his normally low-key days. While away from work, Gary spends a good deal of time fantasizing about local news reporter Julia, who would just as soon relocate to the thriving metropolis of Sydney. Soon, however, a motorcyclist, a construction worker, a sailor, a cowboy and an Indian are all found decapitated. With some murderous weirdo with some sort of Village People fixation terrorizing the town, Gary, with the help of big-wig city detective Tony Charles begins to realise that a policeman is the last remaining victim to be murdered in order for the killings to be complete. Directed by Anthony Mir, and stars Kitty Flanagan and Gary Eck. (From Australia, in English and French, English subtitles) (Comedy) (2003) (Rpt) M (L,S,V) CC WS
[SBS/12:15am Mon] John Safran Vs God - This program is an eight-part visual encyclopaedia of faith around globe - a rummage through the mosques, temples, churches and chicken coops of the religious world. How difficult is it to get a fatwa placed on someone? John travels to the UK Shariah court to find out - and he chooses an unlikely Australian rival as his proposed fatwa-ee. Next John takes a spirit walk in Arizona with the Peyote Way Church of God, and ingests the sacred Peyote drug in an attempt at divine insights into the universe. And what would be of our favourite Channel Nine shows if Jamie Packer was to become a practicing scientologist? (Commissioned by SBSi, in English) (Documentary) (Rpt) M (L,D,S) CC
[Ten/6:00pm] The Simpsons. “Homer’s Phobia.”
[Ten/7:30pm] Big Brother. Live Eviction.
[Ten/9:00pm] Rove.
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