Nine! Stop the programming rot!

It has to be said.

Channel Nine programmers need a wake up call.

Michael Healy in Sydney, and Len Downs in Melbourne this one is for you.

Viewers are fatigued by the speed with which shows are appearing then disappearing from your schedule. There really isn't much point in the old TV analogy of committing to a new programme only to see it whipped off air quicker than we can say "lock it in, Eddie."

Where do we start with drawing attention to these problems, they are so numerous?

Mondays are clearly a problem. Last night Nine had its worst Monday all year, landing a flat 21.9% share, and third behind TEN. I-Caught was a dumb idea from the outset, but it follows a lazy susan of short-lived shows in the 7:30pm Monday slot. Queen's Castle, Secrets of the Crocodile special, What a Year, The Code* (a production that actually had some legs) - probably What's Good For You was the only show this year that was screened with any reasonable consistency (and some of those were repeats). I-Caught will be replaced by another idea that didn't work last time: Two and a Half Men. Charlie Sheen hasn't been funny since Hot Shots.

Yet this is a timeslot that Nine has gloriously won. Even when Friends ended its long reign, Nine still found fortune with the slot with runaway successes like SuperNanny. Now they are challenged by Top Gear on SBS. The problem here is partly inspiration, and definitely commitment. If Nine can't decide what to air in the timeslot, why should viewers? And if a viewer can't tell you what's in the timeslot off the top of their head, we clearly have a familiarity problem.

But that's just for starters.

A string of other shows have come and gone. ER, gone without notice. Cold Case, Hell's Kitchen, The Nation, The Catch-Up, Crime and Justice*, I Shouldn't Be Alive, What A Year, CSI: NY, Nip / Tuck, Adventures of New Christine, Men in Trees, Justice, The Closer .....and on it goes.

Ok we know some of them were crap. We know some were summer filler. But shows with loyal audiences (Survivor, The Sopranos, Weeds) are treated contemptuously over cheap plastic surgery makeovers, clip shows and more CSI repeats. Half the press Nine gets for shows is negative for cheap ideas like Ralph TV and The Mint.

Most of the time, ER being a case in point, shows are pulled without any advance notice the week before. Pity those viewers who have taken the time to purchase TV Week, whose printing machines have rolled long before another Nine amendment.

And what's going on with Temptation? A show that is rating with some due success is to be replaced with five nights of Eddie McGuire? Does Nine have the insight to realise that McGuire is still considered too arrogant for viewing five nights a week? 1 vs 100 has now slipped under the 1m mark. McGuire is very good at what he does yes -but five nights? The problem here isn't the 7pm timeslot. It's the 5-6pm lead-in. While Nine continues to expect antiques television to beat the might of Deal or No Deal it will always have problems at 7pm. So poor Ed and Livinia are rumoured to be shuffled to the 5:30pm timeslot to fix it. We'll wait and see if that comes to fruition.

In fairness Nine is doing well enough with RPA, Sea Patrol, 60 Minutes. As for McLeod's well it's probably getting time to hang up those hats, right? At least Nine has ramped up its drama production in readiness.Canal Road and Underbelly sound fab for 2008.

And yes we are all excited at the new things coming. Damages look a ripper. But where's some of the other stuff you promised: Jetstar for example? And while you keep reminding us about new game shows like Singing Bee and Power of Ten should we still look forward to that other game show you promised, Show Me the Money?

Nine are not the only network pulling shows at short notice. Torchwood is a case in point, TEN. But Nine should know better, and so should the people calling the shots.

In the old days before we had OzTam data, networks would have to wait 6 weeks for ratings books to filter back before they had a true picture of how new shows were faring. It was enough time for nervous executives to allow shows to settle somewhat and build a groundswell of support before pulling out the axe. Not anymore.

While Nine's publicised management and media ownership issues continue to indicate it is still rebuilding from the Packer era, flippant scheduling changes only alienate the audience and send out the message: "will try anything once."

UPDATE: Another day, another 9 backflip

* same show, different title.
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It's time to go: Big Brother?

Is Big Brother about to be evicted from TEN?

That's the latest speculation, according to an article in The Age.

Network executives and producers are in negotiation over whether to continue the show. There is also talk a "high profile cast member" is considering other offers. Given the show only has 4 regular cast members (Gretel Killeen, Mike Goldman, Ryan Fiztpatrick and Bree Amer, that really only qualifies one as high profile).

Big Brother underperformed this year, despite TEN finding ways to give an upbeat overview.

But without BB in its schedule, TEN would need its own high-profile replacement for 2008.
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Airdate: Surprise Surprise Gotcha!

Matt Tilley's radio prank calls have formed part of the basis of Nine's revisit to a familiar genre. Surprise Surprise Gotcha (a somewhat mouthful of a title) will air at 7:30pm Tuesday September 18. The first victim of the pranks may well be Bert Newton. Up until yesterday his 20 to 1 was still scheduled for airing Tuesday nights. Oh well, maybe he can go and support Patti Newton on Dancing with the Stars?

Joining Tilley will be Jackie O, another Austereo favourite, who last appeared on Nine's The Nation. Many of the targets will be Nine celebrities.

The genre has been around forever under various titles including Candid Camera, Surprise Surprise, Punk'd, Just Kidding, Catch us if you Can and Stooged. But the ABC is finding great success with the pranks of The Chaser -a slightly smarter approach to the genre than many of the aforementioned.

Press Release:

Welcome to Surprise Surprise Gotcha, Nine’s new series shot in the surreal world of hidden cameras where illusion becomes reality and stings and stunts have unsuspecting celebrities playing the lead role without knowing it.

This is the hidden camera series that sets the standard with a unique blend of outrageous gags, carried out with accomplices who are the friends, family and colleagues of the unaware celebrity victims.

The show revolves around a key ingredient: well known celebrities falling prey to harmless practical jokes. Each gag is shot like a dramatic “short”, scripted and fully staged with makeup, costumes, elaborate sets and even stunts. Combining between five and 15 cameras, up to a dozen hidden microphones, and using rehearsed actors, Surprise Surprise Gotcha pulls out all the stops.

High-profile presenters Jackie O and Matt Tilley from the Austereo radio network host the show. Tilley is considered Australia’s current master of prank and impersonation whose brazen “gotcha calls” have been a network hit.

Jackie O and Tilley bring viewers the hilarious reactions from the surprised celebrities – watch as the penny drops and they realise they have been well and truly got!

Here are some of the pranks and traps set for the celebrities in this new series of Surprise Surprise Gotcha, including a few celebrity pay backs from past stings.

* After Temptation’s Ed Phillips had co-host Livinia Nixon locked in a phone booth, she invites Ed to a wedding with bizarre cultural aspects.

* AFL player Shane Crawford gets his own back on horse trainer David Hayes when he finds himself at lunch with a nine-year-old genius who astounds him with his knowledge of the racing industry.

* Karl Stefanovic of Today has a very difficult interview with an Arab sheikh who wants to turn Princes Park in Melbourne into a winter wonderland.

* Author Tara Moss has car trouble which causes chaos in the streets.

* Dermott Brereton goes to lunch with Getaway’s Jules Lund where the food is not just fresh … it’s alive.

* Billy Slater, of the Melbourne Storm, discovers he has his own web site.

* Radio personality Amanda Keller comes into a lot of money … but not for long, as she discovers.

* Hi-5’s Charli Delaney finds herself cruising Sydney Harbour with a bizarre charity.

* Toni Pearen, of Australia’s Funniest Home Video Show, attends a charity function at Sydney’s Luna Park, only to take a very, very long ride on the ferris wheel.

* Today’s Gorgi Quill meets a guy who is having the unluckiest day of his life.

That’s Surprise Surprise Gotcha. Celebrities be warned – around this side-splitting series, no one is safe.
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ANTM finalist lands spin-off

Jordan Loukas, who finished third in the recent Australia's Next Top Model, but won the people's choice vote, will feature in a new Foxtel production in which she seeks to make it in the US.

Runway to LA is a 5 part series capturing mentor Charlotte Dawson assisting Jordan's springboard onto American catwalks.

“I learned the hard way there’s no room for complacency in the fashion industry and that getting a big break doesn’t mean your career is set,” Charlotte Dawson says.

“Jordan is a beautiful girl with an amazing opportunity but she’ll have to work damn hard to make it to LA and prove to everyone she has what it takes to succeed.”

Press Release:

She won the vote of the people during Australia’s Next Top Model, but under Charlotte Dawson’s tutelage, does Jordan have what it takes to make it in the cut-throat world of international fashion?

FOX8 today announced a brand new Australian production, Runway To LA, a five-part observational reality series from the producers of Australia’s Next Top Model.

From Granada Productions, Runway To LA will follow the journey of Jordan Loukas who, following her success on this year’s series of Australia’s Next Top Model, is being challenged to see if she has what it takes to take on the international fashion world.

As a result of her tumultuous teenage years, Jordan suffers from severe doubt and insecurities. But the trials of her past along with sheer determination contributed to her success in the third series of Australia’s Next Top Model where she was second runner-up and was voted the public’s favourite.

Tough talking Charlotte Dawson [feisty Australia’s Next Top Model judge, fashion journalist and ex-model] has taken on the role of mentor to see if Jordan can conquer her fears and prove she has what it takes to get to LA. Not all will be as it seems as the challenges harbour secret twists and surprise faces from the past to keep Jordan guessing.

“I learned the hard way there’s no room for complacency in the fashion industry and that getting a big break doesn’t mean your career is set,” Charlotte Dawson says.

“Jordan is a beautiful girl with an amazing opportunity but she’ll have to work damn hard to make it to LA and prove to everyone she has what it takes to succeed.”

Coming soon to FOX8, Runway To LA will cut to the core of Jordan’s determination to succeed and challenge her to take on the cut-throat world of modelling and fashion. Read more...

Gone: I-Caught: Returning: Two & Half Men

Did you just blink? Then you missed Nine's I-Caught, the video clip show from ABC News in America.

Only 600,000 saw fit to spend sixty minutes watching cell-phone, webcam and video surveillance clips. So Nine has whipped it off air quick smart. A 'smart fifth grader' could have probably told the programming department it wasn't likely to do so well here. They could have also told them that replacing it with Two and a Half Men, as they will do from next week, isn't exactly inspiring either.

Sure it's the old Friends timeslot, and sure there isn't any other comedy around at 7:30pm on a Monday (although Top Gear is intellectually funny). But the last time Nine programmed new eps of Two and a Half Men it lasted one week, attracting 699,000 viewers.

UPDATE: Another day, another 9 backflip.

Kindly link to this website when sourcing or posting in messageboards, thanks! Read more...

Airdate: Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

TEN's new quiz show Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader will premiere on Wednesday September 26th.

The first episode will screen at 8:45pm following the finale (yes finale) of Thank God You're Here. Working Dog productions are smart enough to keep people wanting more, and presumably the network.

Rove McManus is host of the new show, based on an American format. I guess they decided not to Australianise the title to Are You Smarter than a Grade Fiver?

The kids helping Rove out are named Kelly, Darcy, Maxy, Moya and Sam. No doubt set for big things.

The week is likely to be a big one for TEN. Along with these big Wednesday shows, TEN has the AFL Grand Final. But played out of primetime, it won't help them actually win the week in official ratings.

The commercial brodcasters lost a move to have the AFL move the final to the evening.

Kindly link to this website when sourcing or posting in messageboards, thanks!
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Airdate: The Abbey

Tim Costello's daughter, a practising Buddhist, a sex worker, and a mother of three with "severe faith envy" all put their hands up to appear in The Abbey, the ABC's new observational documentary series which airs in October.

But the five Australian women who eventually lived for 33 days and nights will be revealed in Sunday newspapers this weekend. (Sun Herald in Sydney and Age in Melbourne).

The women were forced to abide by 1500 year old Benedictine rule, including a vow of silence.

The ABC series also got off to a rocky start with the death of the Abbess just 3 days before shooting commenced. They were forced to delay the production by months.

The series will be screened as part of Compass from 9:30pm Sunday October 14 on the ABC.

Press Release:


ABC TV's highly-anticipated three-part observational documentary, THE ABBEY, goes to air on Compass from Sunday, October 14th at 9.30pm. This Sunday's Sun-Herald in Sydney and The Sunday Age in Melbourne exclusively reveal the identities of the five Australian women entering THE ABBEY! * How will the women cope living the life of an enclosed nun for 33 days and nights? * Will they be able to abide by the ancient 1500-year-old Benedictine Rule of Silence, Obedience, and Renunciation? * How will they handle going to church seven times a day?

Never before has the outside world entered the cloisters of The Abbey until they allowed ABC TV cameras unprecedented access within the monastery walls. Will silence and prayer have the power to transform the lives of these five, very different women, or will they find it too hard a cross to bear? Find out when THE ABBEY begins on Sunday, October 14th at 9.30pm on ABC TV.

See below for some of the 'weird and wonderful applications the producers received before THE ABBEY was filmed.
1. Sydney's Hell-fire Club "Pin-up of the month" - a practising Buddhist! 2. Tim Costello's daughter 3. A Police officer from the Northern Territory 4. An Agricultural Scientist who had 'alien contact' via prayer 5. A mother of three with a serious case of "severe faith envy" 6. A wealthy matron looking for anything besides more yachts 7. A 'mystical Jewish story-teller' 8. The sex worker ''who REALLY wanted to get to know the nuns" Read more...

Biggest Loser crew "doesn't give a shit"

Former contestants on The Biggest Loser have criticised the show over a disappointing duty of care. They are unhappy that the programme pursues a short-term goal for the sake of ratings.

Courtney Jackson and Marty Barrett warned prospective participants to expect a serious reality check once the show is over.

"They ring you now and again to see how you're doing (when the show is running), but they don't really give a shit," he told the Herald-Sun. "But I've not had one phone call from anyone since the show ended.

Marty said, "You lose the weight on the show because you are locked away. Effectively, you're cutting out all the fast food, increasing exercise and before you know it the weight comes off." He added that he has difficulty keeping the weight off because realistically, most people simply don't have the same amount of time.

Their comments follow direct criticism from US trainers Bob and Jillian who called the show's producer "the bane of our existence." Earlier this year they told a Melbourne radio station, "instead of being able to create a support system within the house, they have to cannibalise each other." Read more...