Mon Jan 8

Editorial comments in blue.

[Nine/9:30pm] Nip/Tuck. "Grandville Trapp." A compelling episode that messes with your head. Christian is charged with being the Carver. Nobody really believes he is innocent. Could it really be him? It makes some lurid sense. But wait. It’s all a dream isn't it? Watch for a great ending!

[Nine/10:30pm] Outrageous Fortune. Developing quite nicely, but now the subject of a SPAA claim that Nine are passing this off for local drama points. If they are it's a moral but not a technical breach, and the Free Trade rulings need closer scrutiny not the broadcasters.

[Ten/4:30pm] The Bold & The Beautiful. New Series.

[Ten/6:30pm] Neighbours. New Series. Toadie's life hangs in the balance as shattered Steph pledges her love. Rosie is caught in a romantic dilemma as two men battle for her heart. Katya, Zeke and Karl each try coming to terms with their parts in the siege.

[Ten/7:30pm] Smallville. 100^th ep. "Reckoning" Clark reveals his secret to Lana and Lex.

[ABC/8:30pm] The West Wing. "King Corn / The Wake Up Call." A fighter jet accidentally shoots down a British passenger plane; C.J. and Abbey argue over the President's schedule; and everyone is avoiding the White House appointment with Miss World. CAST: Martin Sheen

[ABC/12:00am Tue] Movie: Bedlam. (PG, 1945, B&W;, Rpt) In 18th century London, the sadistic master of the Bedlam Insane Asylum captures an actress. CAST: Boris Karloff, Anna Lee, Billy House

[Seven/10:30pm] Boston Legal. Final. Shelley Long guests.

[SBS/7:30pm] Mythbusters. Outtakes Special. This is an extraordinary collection of experiments that did not go to air for one reason or another. Adam and Jamie engage in the most diverse and incredible experiments. They try to raise a sunken boat from the sea bed by filling it with thousands of ping-pong balls. Unfortunately, the experiment has to be aborted due to the untimely arrival of a few playful sea otters that happen to live in that particular bay. This test is followed by numerous others all quite diverse in nature – from the effectiveness of a water torture mechanism to the chance of survival of a man buried alive in a coffin; from literally finding a needle in a haystack to the testing of the notorious Alcatraz escape; and from the cleansing power of coke when it comes to filthy toilet bowls to the possibility of derailing a train by placing a penny coin on the railway track. (From the US, in English) G (Rpt) CC WS

[SBS/8:30pm] South Park. "Jared Has Aides." Jared Fogle loses weight with the help of two aides, but to his surprise, the townspeople shun him when he tells them. (From the US, in English) M (L,A) (Rpt) CC WS

[SBS/9:00pm] Drawn Together. Tonight, notorious billionaire Bucky Bucks comes to the house and hosts an Apprentice-style boardroom, to answer the demands of the housemates. (From the US, in English) (Animated Comedy Series) MA (A,S) (Rpt) CC WS

[SBS/10:00pm] Shameless. This critically acclaimed and brilliantly funny offbeat drama series is back for another season. Created by award-winning writer Paul Abbott (Reckless, Clocking Off, State of Play), this series follows the Gallagher family, probably the UK’s most dysfunctional family, who live on a Manchester council estate and the series charts the wickedly unpredictable chapters of this family’s life. In tonight’s episode, Lip has a new job as a porter at a hotel, where he meets Jack. Through a devious towel stealing scheme, they become good friends, although it soon becomes apparent to the rest of the Gallagher clan that Jack is up to no good. Meanwhile, Kev’s sister Kelly-Marie starts lodging at Frank and Sheila’s house. While Sheila delights at the sound of Kelly’s loud sexual antics and uses it to fuel her and Frank’s lovemaking, Frank is suspicious of the string of boyfriends that are paying Kelly-Marie visits. Stars David Threlfall, Maggie O’Neill, Gerard Kearns and Johnny Bennett. (From the UK, in English) (Drama Series) (Part 2) MA (L,S,V) CC WS

[SBS/12:40am Tue] Queer As Folk. Michael’s 30th birthday brings out Brian’s best and worst intentions and Ted and Emmett get tested for HIV. Stars Hal Sparks, Gale Harold and Peter Paige. (From the US, in English) (Drama Series) MA (L,S,A) (Rpt) CC WS

[Comedy/8:30pm] Situation Comedy. Premiere. In this 10-episode documentary, viewers go behind the scenes and see what it takes to take a sitcom from the page to the screen. Two teams of young writers are chosen to rewrite, cast, tape and go through post-production on their sitcom ideas, with the hopes of making it big. Sean Hayes and Todd Milliner are having a contest to find the next big comedy. This team of two with two televisions executives fly in the writers responsible for the what they consider the top 10 scripts out of the thousands that were submitted. After pitching their ideas for each of the comedies the judging is done and the field is narrowed down. With only 5 scripts left in the contest each script must be rewritten, rehearsed and tweaked to perfection before they head to pitch their scripts to the NBC executives. After excruciating interviews and pitches 2 shows are selected to move on in the show. The writers of the winning shows, "The Sperm Donor" and "Stephen's Life" will have 6 weeks to put together a script, get together actors and pull off a 15 minute pilot to be judged and hopefully win the show; getting those writers one step closer to realizing their dreams of having the next great comedy on TV.

[UKTV/7:30pm] Parkinson: The Shane Warne Interview. World exclusive.

[Ovation/9:50pm] Dusty Springfield: Reflections

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"Jesus Christ, Help Us Oh Lord"

So there I was channel surfing on a dull Wednesday night, when I stumbled across Seven's US doco, Mayday: Head on Collision and my ears pricked up at some odd audio that wasn't matching the vision. It was looping the phrase "Jesus Christ, Help Us Oh Lord." Had my aerial picked up some FM interference?

Nope. Seven was in technical hell for about seven minutes -but it felt like about twenty. What was going on? And why hadn't they cut to the 7 logo with a "we apologise" voice-over? Deeksy where were you?

Next day a Seven spokesperson told me it was a glitch from the news department which had picked up audio from an Iraq news item in which a truck driver was under attack. At about two minutes in to the footage, you can hear him ask for divine intervention. Seven also apologised to anybody offended.

The Australian tried to report that the audio was actually "Jesus Christ one of the Navarines." I don't think so. It wasn't even "Jesus Christ one of the Nazarenes" either.

True to form Today Tonight spun it into a story, complete with archival footage of rival networks dropping the ball in earlier mishaps. Bless.

Seven didn't re-commence the Mayday programme either. If anybody cares, they reckon they will re-run it some other time (I'm thinking 3am sometime in December maybe?).

So here we are, barely four days into the New Year and already two networks have had to apologise to the audience.

It's gonna be a great year... Read more...

TEN's New Year's Antics?

On New Year's Eve TEN screened a boisterous night of viewing. It kicked off at 9.30 with a NYE edition of The Big Night in with John Foreman. Now John is one of TV's Mr Nice Guys, and he's had two seasons of his music appreciation show -something that's widely lacking on screen. He invited Matthew Newton, Bert's son, back after an earlier frisky appearance. The two are obviously good chums, and perhaps Newton was either doing his best to prove he isn't his dad... maybe he'd already had an early champers. What ensued was probably a bit too familiar, groping, biting ears, lots of cheeky stuff. But hey it was after 9.30 and it was NYE.

It didn't help that more of the NYE telecast showed Ryan "Fryzie" Fitzgerald in bad drag at a pashing contest. What is it about ex-footballers that compels them to frock up?

Lots of conservative callers phoned talkback radio in Melbourne and Sydney to protest. Somebody should have told them the classification rules post 9:30pm. Sure it might not have been the most elegant viewing, but it fell within rulings. Still Tim Clucas from TEN was happy to apologise. It's the start of the year, and TEN wants to widen its demographic, put on the spot he sorta had to.

Still it was surprising to see Today Tonight refer to Newton's antics as possibly one of "the smuttiest moments of TV." What? What about The Footy Show, The Brownlow Medal, Big Brother, Sex and Doug Mulray's Naughtiest Home Videos?

Newton, who's been appearing on the unfortunately titled Stupid, Stupid Man probably could learn the difference between implied and expressed from his Dad.

But a lot of viewers could learn the difference between offensive and just silly too. Read more...