Wed May 23
[Fox8/8:3pm] On the Lot. Premiere. Audition Show 1.
[Movie Extra/9:30pm] Movie: Transmerica (US 2005)
[CI/9:30pm] I Can’t Stop Masturbating. 95% of men admit to masturbating. But some men masturbate more than others. Much more... 'I Can't Stop Masturbating' will follow two men as they try to break an addiction that is destroying their lives. Russell masturbates up to 15 times a day, a habit that is destroying his relationships with the opposite sex. We'll follow Russell as he embarks on a road trip across America, sampling weird and wonderful treatments to see if he can finally kick his addiction. Paul's habit means he cannot hold down a job or a relationship. The programme will follow Paul as he undergoes therapy in the UK, in a desperate attempt to get his life back on track. Will Russell and Paul be able to pull it off?
[Nine/7:30pm] State of Origin. Wide World Of Sports presents Rugby League's State of Origin. Join your expert commentators for all the action as New South Wales takes on Queensland in Game 1 of the 2007 series from Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane.
[Ten/7:30pm] The Biggest Loser- Engaged Couples.
[Ten/8:30pm] House. "Role Model" Rpt.
[Ten/9:30pm] Medium. 'We Had A Dream' Guest: Eric Stoltz
[ABC/8:30pm] Spicks And Specks. Joining Adam Hills this week are Brian Mannix, Niki Vasilakis, Denise Scott, Dave O'Neill.
[ABC/9:00pm] The Chaser's War On Everything
[ABC/9:35pm] The Robinsons. Ed and George's favourite Robinson, Great Uncle Edmund - explorer, adventurer, philanthropist and a really nice bloke- dies unexpectedly. George struggles to come to terms with the death, his own mortality and how to best explain existentialism to Albert, his six-year-old son. Vicky is getting more and more irritated with her boyfriend Peter, who won't stop crying, only to find later that it is his very sensitivity she finds attractive. Ed undergoes a personality crisis when he can't remember the answers to simple questions about himself at a job interview. If only he can just work out exactly who the real Ed Robinson is. His parents, who never agree on anything, aren't much help; his sister-in-law Maggie finds herself suddenly busy when asked; and George doesn't understand why he's wasting his time with such clap-trap. The Robinsons aren't related to any of the famous Robinsons. Sugar Ray, Edward G, or even Smokey. No, they're a bog standard, run-of-the-mill family from Wimbledon, South London who have done 'quite well'. All of them, that is, except the youngest Ed, the black sheep of the family who's 32, recently divorced after a disastrous marriage that lasted five and a half months, doing a job that he hates and living in his aunt's dilapidated council flat. What's gone wrong in his life? How difficult is it to find a girlfriend, a decent job, a good dry cleaners and the meaning of life? When Ed is told by his wife, 'you're not the man I married,' he is forced to ask himself 'who am I?' The answer he gets back - 'Ed Robinson' - doesn't satisfy him. Ed's search for himself takes him to many places… but nowhere more intriguing than his own family, or indeed, family history. Starring Martin Freeman (The Office, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Hugh Bonneville (Tipping the Velvet), Anna Massey (He knew He Was Right) Amanda Root (Enduring Love, The Forsyte Saga), Abigail Cruttenden (Hideous Kinky) and Richard Johnson (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, The Whistle Blower).
[ABC/10:05pm] At The MoviesTHE US VS JOHN LENNON + INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR DAVID LEAF -Before Iraq, before the Bush Administration, before the Dixie Chicks, Bruce Springsteen, and Pearl Jam... there was John Lennon, the celebrated musical artist who used his fame and his fortune to protest the Vietnam War and advocate for world peace. In this exposing new doco, The U.S vs John Lennon, filmmakers David Leaf and John Scheinfeld trace Lennon's metamorphosis from lovable "Moptop" to anti-war activist to inspirational icon, as they reveal the true story of how and why the U.S government tried to silence him. ROMULUS, MY FATHER + INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR RICHARD ROXBURGH - Based on Raimond Gaita's critically acclaimed memoir, the film tells the story of Romulus, his beautiful wife, Christina, and their struggle in the face of great adversity to bring up their son, Raimond. It is a story of impossible love that ultimately celebrates the unbreakable bond between father and son. MY BEST FRIEND - Francois (played by French actor Daniel Auteuil) is a middle-aged Parisian with everything you could ever want - a rewarding job as an antique dealer, a stylish flat, a loving girlfriend and a teenage daughter. On the occasion of his birthday however, his associate Catherine candidly informs him that he has no friends. The other guests agree: Francois' passion is confined to the objects he buys and sells; he cannot connect emotionally. Stunned by this revelation Francois proposes a wager with Catherine - he will produce his best friend by the end of the week or give up his prized antique vase. And so, the search begins as Francois embarks on a hilarious quest to find someone willing to pose as his best pal. When all seems lost, Francois finds an unlikely candidate in a charming, trivia-spouting taxi driver, Bruno (the adorable Dany Boon). Bruno's chatty, lowbrow ways grate against François's designer temperament, but he covets the other man's finesse with people and so convinces Bruno to teach him how to make friends. This involves learning the "three S- being sociable, smiling and sincere - though they don't come easy. ORCHESTRA SEATS - Jessica, a beautiful young woman from the country, moves to Paris and lands a job waiting tables at a chic bistro on fabled Avenue Montaigne, the city's nexus for art, music, theatre and fashion. Jessica's customers include a popular TV actress who is courting a major Hollywood director for her first serious film role; a wealthy art collector who is about to liquidate a lifetime's worth of treasures at auction; and an illustrious classical pianist who is at odds with his manager/wife as to where his career is headed. Precisely because Jessica doesn't know how celebrated these people are, her guileless and completely unintimidated engagement in their lives has a transforming effect on them - and ultimately her.
[SBS/7:30pm] Vasili’s Garden. Premiere. A fresh and thoroughly entertaining gardening program with a little bit of piano accordion and a lot of information. Each week, real-life gardening guru Vasili Kanidiadis starts off pruning, trimming and spraying in his own garden, before visiting a special garden or two. He’s there to solve problems - providing seasonal tips and advice - as well as to explore the obsessions of each garden’s creator.
He will fire viewers’ culinary senses as he regularly introduces viewers to his mum, Eleni Kaniadis, who will share traditional Greek recipes using home grown ingredients. Vasili is a big fan of traditional methods, so he extols the virtues of compost and natural, home-made pesticides. This is not a man with a shed full of chemicals. His particular approach to gardening is based on common sense, water conservation and environmental and ecological sustainability. A gardening legend in Melbourne with his own nursery, Vasili will give up to the minute advice on having the most bountiful – as well as ecologically and environmentally friendly – gardens in Australia. As Vasili delves into private worlds on the other side of backyard fences, he discovers a world of characters who are passionate about their plants and produce. Meet John - an Italian migrant who uses every centimetre of his roof to collect water in a vast range of containers; and Ik, whose topiary garden resembles Jurassic Park in a leafy kind of way. Franco shares his fruit tree grafting secrets, honed at his suburban hobby farm, while Val the 82-year-old singing ukulele player has more than a passing knowledge of irises, with 400 varieties in his garden. Vasili’s Garden will also discover Maureen and her hibiscus hobby, a speech therapist with a Japanese garden built for Australian conditions and some enthusiastic backyard beekeepers.As Vasili frequently says: “Maresi!” (Greek for “I like it”)
[SBS/10:00pm] Movie: I'm Not Scared (Italy 2003) The film is set in a small hamlet in southern Italy during a very hot summer in 1978. Michele, a young boy, with his sister and three other friends come across an abandoned house in the country. One day, Michele stumbles upon what he thinks is a body in a hole in the ground. The boy is extremely shy and almost blind from being kept in the dark all the time. Michele realises that something is going on when he hears his parents and some friends watching the nightly news. They discuss in whispers something about a kidnapped boy whose mother makes an appeal on TV and he recognises that the boy in question is Filippo. The film is beautifully shot; the countryside is magnificent with endless fields of corn and the children excellent in their acting debuts. Directed by Gabriele Salvatores, and stars Aitana Sanchez-Gijon and Giuseppe Cristiano. (From Italy, in Italian, English subtitles) (Thriller) (2003) MA (L,A,V) CC WS
[SBS/3:45 am Thu] UEFA Champions League Final 2006/2007: LIVE from Athens Olympic Stadium, Greece. (Football Feature) Kick-off at 4.15am.
[Seven/12:00pm] Movie: Birthday Girl (US 2001) NICOLE KIDMAN and BEN CHAPLIN star in this romantic comedy about a thirtysomething bank clerk whose small-town life explodes with the arrival of his Russian mail-order bride.
[Seven/8:30pm] Heroes. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 'COMPANY MAN'A shattering episode as forces collide when H.R.G.'s past catches up with him as Matt and Ted come to Texas looking for answers and discover the location of his family, leading to a tragic and explosive showdown. Haunting secrets are revealed and new threats to the 'heroes' are introduced. Guest starring ERIC ROBERTS, CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON and MATTHEW JOHN ARMSTRONG.
[Seven/9:30pm] Prison Break. BAD BLOOD. Michael and Sara turn to Henry Pope to retrieve the information that will topple The Company. An escapee must chose between his daughter and his friends. T-Bag brings the Hollander family to his childhood home.
[Seven/10:30pm] 24. 1:00 A.M. - 2:00 A.M. Jack faces the consequences of his attempt to save Audrey. Karen and Bill's relationship hits the rocks. Guest starring RICK SCHRODER.
SYD / BRISBANE: Seven changes.
[Showtime/10:35pm] Movie: The King (2005) Gael Garcia Bernal
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