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Remember when that guy shut down a terminal at Newark Airport after entering a secure area unauthorized... and then caused thousands upon thousands to be trapped there with delayed flights? Would it make you feel better if it all happened in the name of love?

A correction officer at Rikers snapped this priceless photo of another guard fast asleep in her chair while a grinning inmate hovers over, mere inches from her big Barney Fife keys. The sleeping officer, Nadja Green, has been at Rikers for over four years, and one source describes her as "the Precious of Corrections," a reference to the movie about a teen from a dysfunctional family. The mother of several children, Green reportedly worked 96 hours of overtime this month. So isn't it kind of a dick move to photograph her while she catches a few hard-earned z's? Green's union thinks so!

While investigating former police officer Robert Melia Jr.'s alleged sexual assault on three underage girls, detectives discovered a video in his home that shows him sexually molesting cows in 2006. So animal-cruelty charges were added to the list, but on Wednesday a judge dropped the charges because prosecutors didn't "present enough evidence to jurors that Melia's alleged actions tormented the animals."

Artist Robert Indiana's HOPE sculpture is coming to Times Square. From June 4th to 10th the 6-foot, one-and-one-half ton piece will be on display at 44th and Broadway. His LOVE sculpture was exhibited in New York in 1966, and a version of it resides on 6th Avenue now. This is his followup, of which the now 80-year-old says, “I wanted to help name and empower the next generation,” Indiana, now 80, says, “and I felt that HOPE encompassed the needs of our time.” To help celebrate the opening, there will be a Hope Dance, along with a string quartet, this Thursday at noon.

Still looking for that perfect so-and-so to share the 14th with? Time Out NY has a plethora of single men and women for you to date in their "Date These New Yorkers" feature...and some of them look awfully familiar. There's the human blockhead from the Coney Island Sideshow, Judah Friedlander of 30 Rock, Matt Pinfield, someone named Moonshine, and Brooklyn's own Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson (learn more about him here). Not too shabby! But ladies, beware: Not all these fellas are showing their true selves—take Nate H. for example. While he may seem harmless in his dolphin costume (though this could be a hat tip to the Furry culture?), what he doesn't mention is that he can often be found rummaging through trash in Chinatown to make sculptures out of fish heads and other assorted dead animals. But maybe that's what does it for you?

There are probably some folks out there not complaining about the subway typos—the ones who found love underground. Do you have a story like Patrick Moberg's, except one that didn't end with public appearances on national television and, ultimately, a break-up? The NYC Transit Museum wants to know if you met your loved one on the bus or subway. They're asking that you share your story online, and on Valentine's Day they'll pick the best of the public transit romances to share. Just remember, if you do meet someone using NYC mass transit, use an NYC condom, and report any suspicious packages.

Remember that resourceful young Animal Collective fan who conned a bevy of real fans in the Craigslist ticket scam heard round the blogsphere? Well the plot thickens! NBC reports that, "a little over a week after a handful of hipsters around the city got ripped off, the scammer may have resurfaced on Craigslist, looking for his Williamsburg scam victim with 'cute bangs and funky glasses'." He even confesses in the ad, saying "I printed ten copies of my Animal Collective ticket and sold you one near the Lorimer stop. Maybe we can go to our next show together?" Sure, this has fake written all over it, but maybe, just maybe, this cold-hearted hustler listened to My Girls a few too many times and it softened him up.

After twelve years, 5,124 performances and a haul of $280 million, Rent's Broadway run has come to an end. The musical closed yesterday after a final sold-out performance packed with diehard fans (the "Rentheads") and a smattering of celebrities (a couple Gossip Girl cast members). Just before the curtain came down for the final time, members of the show's original company joined the current cast on stage to "Seasons of Love," one of the show's most famous songs, the Associated Press reports.

After reading about Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan's romantic afternoon yesterday in the city (Chanel in SoHo, lunch at Bar Pitti, dinner at Gemma and a party at the Bowery Hotel), we were going to write that if their much-rumored relationship is a publicity stunt, it's totally working. And then we saw this caption accompanying the photos of their afternoon of summer lovin', courtesy of WireImage:

"Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson hold their breath while approached by a homeless man on the streets of Manhattan"
That's the sort of thing that just can't be taught at publicity school. Bravo Lohanson!

In writer-director Noah Baumbach*'s 1995 film, Kicking and Screaming (about college graduates, not to be confused with the Will Ferrell's children's soccer movie), the protagonist tries to tempt his girlfriend to live with him in Brooklyn: "And not just Brooklyn, A-list Brooklyn. Park Slope. Division 2 Manhattan.

A new website, Subway Crush, could mark the end of romantic quests like the one undertaken by Patrick Moberg last fall, when he created a website to find a cute girl he spotted on the subway. His efforts won him international fame, book and movie offers, and, yes, a date with the young lady. Oh, and plenty of derision.

continues to embarrass the book publishing industry. Writer Margaret Jones, who told her publisher she was a half-white, half-Native American raised by a black foster family in South Central L.A. and former Bloods gang member, was exposed as Margaret Seltzer, white private school graduate from Sherman Oaks, California.

Nothing says romance like a public proposal in The Daily News. Marina Maiuri stood atop the Empire State Building (which is so "Sleepless in Seattle") to have her photo snapped by the paper on the observation deck; but she wasn't looking for love, she was looking to propose.

We would like to take a moment to thank this week's advertisers on Gothamist.

We would like to take a moment to thank this week's advertisers on Gothamist.

On Valentine’s Day eve over seventy heartbroken singles assembled at Brecht Forum to give the holiday a pre-emptive kiss off with a “Wake for Love." The star of the night was an actual coffin set up for the bereaved to toss unwanted mementos from their dead affairs; according to WNYC reporter Kathleen Horan, who planned the wake, some of the items sent to their graves included a wedding dress, The Bob Dylan Chronicles book and plenty of bitter Valentine cards made out to the exes. (Sample: "Have A Real Swell Valentine's in Hell!") Horan also reports “a great deal of flirting over at the cheese platter.”

Hallmark isn't the only one capitalizing on the L-word today, Hollywood has a stake in your heart as well -- invading the big screen with yet another Valentine's Day release. This time Little Miss Sunshine, Abigail Breslin, and soon-to-be Mr. Scarlett Johansson (?), Ryan Reynolds, team up for a tour de force of l-o-v-e in Definitely, Maybe (a nod to Oasis's debut album?).

Don't have a Valentine's Day card yet? Print out this page, cut out the cards and give it to yourself! You can also download EPS versions of these Valentine's Day cards immortalized on the Simpsons' episode, I Love Lisa, at deconcept.

Or so they say. Well, maybe, maybe not, but regardless, we wanted to give you some options for food and drink-related events on Valentine's Day.

His record is pretty impressive, he's organized 70 "real dates," 19 of which turned into relationships that lasted over a year. The numbers could be higher but Ibrahim is selective on who he sets up.

He listens to their conversations, asks them a few questions and then, if he thinks they are suitable, explains his matchmaking services and asks for their number and e-mail.

Yesterday we told you all about Randy Quaid being banned for life from Actors’ Equity and fined $81,572 for abusive and lewd behavior during the Seattle production of would-be Broadway musical Lone Star Love. Since then we’ve tried to get a comment on the allegations from Quaid’s wife Evi, who attended the Equity hearing on his behalf and ended up getting into a physical altercation – she says they broke her finger while trying to forcibly bar her entrance, they say she kicked a 76-year-old receptionist in the shins, drawing blood.

    If the would-be Broadway-bound musical Lone Star Love is half as entertaining as the backstage drama, then sign us up: Randy Quaid, the show’s former star, has been banned from the Actors' Equity union for life because of abusive, lewd and just plain crazy behavior during the show’s Seattle run. Quaid has also been fined $81,572, which equals two weeks pay for the cast of the $6.5 million show; producers claim they had to prematurely close because of Quaid’s hi jinks. The Post’s Michael Riedel got the rap sheet:
  • Quaid hit an actor on the back of the head four times during performances. When the stage manager told him to stop, he smacked the actor again.
  • Another actor was warned that if he made direct eye contact with Quaid onstage, he'd be fired.
  • Quaid made "sexually inappropriate" comments onstage, repeatedly referring to an actress' musical instruments as her "gynecological instruments."

Fellas, if you’re in some sort of relationship and haven’t nailed down the V-Day itinerary yet, it’s about time to start making some quick decisions and, regrettably, commitments. Reservations fill up fast and no matter what she says about ‘not expecting anything special’, we all know that’s a big trap. But it doesn’t mean you have to submit to an overpriced prix fixe dinner at a stuffy, overcrowded restaurant; here are some less predictable ways to impress your date this Love Day. (We suggest starting now by ordering one of these fine Law & Order SVU Valentine's cards.)

Tomorrow is the Presidential Primary, where registered Democrats and Republicans can select a presidential candidate. Polling places are open between 6AM and 9PM - you can find out where to go by checking with the Board of Elections.

Charles F. Luce, who was Con Ed's chairman and chief executive between 1967 and 1982, died last week at the age of 90 in California. The Bronxville, NY resident died of prostate cancer.

Within the 843 acres of Central Park one will find 9,000 benches, and many of them tell a story (or at least a name). In 1986 the Central Park Conservancy began their Adopt-A-Bench program to raise money for upkeep.

Sure, with the All Points West Fest announced, Coachella may not have the same appeal for east coasters this year, but the lineup announcement is still an exciting annual event. Over the last few years, it has established itself as the granddaddy and standard bearer of the American festival circuit. Unfortunately, most people are finding this year's lineup is a bit of a dud. Coachella's been operating at such a high level since 2003 that it was really only a matter or time before the lineups would stop exciting everyone, and while last year had it's plusses and minuses, this year seems to have really fallen off. Many of the smaller acts played the fest recently, something they used to try and avoid, and the headliners seem to be all over the place. Sure, a Portishead reunion is a treat, but how many Roger Waters fans are into Jack Johnson? Is a Love and Rockets reunion and Death Cab for Cutie really above the fold top draws? Doesn't seem like it. While we can't speak for their bottom line, which surely is doing okay, it might serve them well to try and scale back a bit in the future if this year has a bit of a drop off. Two days in the desert is more than enough for most, and to pack those days full with bands everyone can get excited about is a much more appealing scenario.

What has Conan O'Brien been doing in his spare time? His writers have only been putting pen to paper for their picket signs, and even though he returned to his late night desk earlier this month -- he's been a one-man show, lacking his trusty troupe of scribes. Alone and living in a world of reruns, he's been unloading in his diary strike journal.

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