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  • Google's unwillingness to hire humans could hurt phone business. [NBC Bay Area]
  • Alleged Muni stabber declared competent to stand trial. [Appeal]
  • Check out these cool BART maintenance badges! [Mission Mission]
  • Tsar Nicoulai Caviar Cafe moves to Union Square. [Eater]
  • Court-appointed expert finds Muni stabbing suspect competent to stand trial. [SF Weekly]
  • Pen and paper or memory, which do you prefer your waiter to use? [Bauer]
  • More Haiti earthquake relief information. [Laughing Squid]

The MTA is proposing cuts to every Muni line in an effort to close a plus-sized $16.9 million budget gap. What's more, and you might want to grab a nearby trashcan to use as a make shit airsick bag before you read this, they're proposing a jarring fee hike to ride the USEFUL and CONVENIENT historic streetcars that zip along Market Street

Oh fun. A massive Buddha sculpture could comes to Civic Center Plaza -- that is, according to SF Examiner, "if the area’s infrastructure proves strong enough to support the six-armed behemoth." The 15-ton structure, created by Chinese artist Zhang Huan, would also need $100,000 for shipping costs to haul the thing from Shanghai to San Francisco, money that would be raised by The City’s Arts Commission.

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While we all mourned the loss of Amber, the delightfully lung-cancerous bar on 14th Street and Church, its replacement opens up on Saturday night. Just two weeks after closing, The Residence, we're told, will boast "luscious jewel-toned drapes and fabrics that compliment rich wood paneling" as well as "artisan cocktails" and "casual intimacy."

San Francisco's Silver Fox, Mark Ibanez, Jumps To Anchor Chair

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Mark Ibanez, KTVU's resident sports talking head, will be making a temporary move on Monday to the the anchor's desk. Rich Lieberman reports that the sports anchor will be filling in as anchor on the noon news on Monday. "'Your old buddy is going to be anchoring the noon news this Monday,MLK day…not the sports …the noon news…looking at it as a challenge and maybe something new in the future,'" Ibanez tells Lieberman. "'[Y]ou never know….different things need to be tried sometimes to remain a survivor in this business as you know.'"

Holy Moses. SF Examiner columnist Ken Garcia has a fan.

New BART Fare Hike In Your Future?

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On Thursday night, according to CBS 5, "at least two BART board members said they might be in favor of a fare hike for riders using the trans-bay tube in order to close a budget deficit." BART already saw a 6.1% fare increase back in July. Although BART board meeting spokesman Linton Johnson had claimed that "that's just not on the table...right now," BART, facing a $25 million deficit over the next six months, could conceivably see another fare hike at some point this year. Stay tuned.

A small bag of cocaine was found in space shuttle Discovery's hangar at NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida. The cocaine was discovered Tuesday outside of a bathroom...

DANCE: Returning for six encore performances after a sold out run in April 2009, The Illustrated Book of Invisible Stories. Presented by Janice Garrett and Charles Moulton...

This weekend is the official 75th anniversary celebration of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. The party starts on Saturday at 11 a.m...

Scene from Eddie Colla's "Filling Space" show was on 14/01. (Photo by Flickr user captin_nod.)

We figured you needed a couple weeks' hiatus from drinking after the holidays and all, but SFist Drinks returns today with a cocktail from Michael McDonagh, beverage director at Fisherman's Wharf-adjacent bar/club The Parlor. The name comes from the use of G'Vine small batch gin, and McDonagh describes it thusly:

Shooting Victim Drives Self To Fire Station

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An unidentified man with an unfortunate gunshot wound drove himself to a fire station in SOMA early this morning. SFAppeal reports, "Officers responded to San Francisco Fire Department Station No. 1 at 676 Howard St., where a shooting victim showed up at around 3 a.m ... The man told police he had been shot in a parking lot nearby." He is currently in stable condition. No arrests have been made.

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