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After seven years of torture, CTU moles and cougar attacks, the new season of terrorist crime thriller 24 is finally taking place in the Big Apple this year. The premiere for "Day 8" starts this Sunday and Monday on Fox. Although some scenes were shot in the city, including ones at the United Nations, the bulk of the show was shot in Canada, and then green-screened to fit in NYC backgrounds, according to the Post. Since star Keifer Sutherland has had time to practice his headbutting and making-out skills around town, we're cautiously optimistic that grampa Jack Bauer can handle the subway douchery.

This will never top Jersey Shore, but there's allegedly a new reality show in the works called The Scene…LES, that ”straddles the line between the music world and the real life drama of up and coming Singer-Songwriters who live around and play the circuit of performance venues on the Lower East Side of New York City.” Isn't the music scene in Brooklyn now?

Earlier there were apparently concerns of NBC canceling Jay Leno (who was concerned about this?), but now TMZ reports that Jay will be staying with the network. However, he'll be moving back to his old 11:30 time slot, which means the future of Conan O'Brien is currently up in the air. They say, "We've learned Jay's 10:00 PM show will go on hiatus February 1. After the Olympics, Jay will take back his 11:30 PM time slot. What has not been decided — whether Jay's show will be a half hour, followed by Conan, or whether Jay's show will be an hour and NBC says sayonara to Mr. O'Brien." Will Conan come back to New York now? Watch your back, Jimmy.

Everyone's gotta just calm down, have some SoCo and lime, and learn to embrace the reality television party that is Jersey Shore — especially the people who actually live there (we're looking at you, Jersey Shore protesters).

Up in the Air is up on top of the Golden Globe award contenders (full list after the jump), receiving six nominations, including props for best drama and nominations for George Clooney, Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick. The tense Iraq war drama, The Hurt Locker, which just scored with the critics' awards in New York and LA, was also nominated for best drama, and Kathryn Bigelow was nominated for best director. James Cameron (Avatar), Clint Eastwood (Invictus), Jason Rietman (Up in the Air), and Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds) were also nominated for best director.

Finally! The episode of Law & Order featuring the return of Benjamin Bratt as Detective Rey Curtis airs tonight. Here's a preview, showing Bratt and S. Epatha Merkerson. The show airs at 8 p.m. and the plot is: "As election day rapidly approaches, Detectives Cyrus Lupo (Jeremy Sisto) and Kevin Bernard (Anthony Anderson) discover the disfigured remains of a man with the word 'FED' written across his bare chest..."

In New Jersey, the legislature is poised to vote on whether gays can marry. In Uganda, they're debating legislation to kill them. Last night, Rachel Maddow interviewed an author named Richard Cohen, who says he used to be gay—until he cured himself. Now he writes books helping others straighten up too! His book Coming Out Straight has been cited by the Ugandan proponents of executing homosexuals, because in it Cohen claims that homosexuals are much more likely to molest children. Watch Maddow respectfully hand his ass to him:

The Law & Order episode featuring the return—for one episode—of Detective Rey Curtis, played by Benjamin Bratt, has been bumped from tonight till next Friday, December 11. Instead, NBC will air A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa—a repeat of the special that premiered last year (which features Mayor Bloomberg!).

The crooks who robbed a 64-year-old for his television — but couldn't escape with the unwieldly flatscreen — shot the victim because his achy knee kept him from following their orders.

Three men shot a 64-year-old in Queens in an attempt to steal his new flatscreen television on Black Friday — but the 47-inch TV wouldn't fit in their escape vehicle.

After Adam Lambert's racy, same-sex kiss-and-simulated blow job performance on the American Music Awards, Good Morning America cancelled the singer's performance on the morning show. But now it turns out that GMA is welcoming admitted, convicted girlfriend-beater Chris Brown to the program next week.

It's true—Benjamin Bratt is reprising his role as Law & Order Detective Rey Curtis and here are photos (close-up after the jump) of him on location. Last month, it was reported that Bratt, who played Rey Curtis for four seasons between 1995 and 1999, was returning to the show for an episode; L&O; creator Dick Wolf said, "I am thrilled that Ben is coming back for a return appearance. He joined us for our recent 20th anniversary celebration and it was like he never left."

Oprah Winfrey, the media mogul-juggernaut, is going to end her successful daytime talk show when her 25th season ends on September 9, 2011. She will be making the announcement on her program today. As for her future, the NY Times says she's expected to "concentrate on the forthcoming cable channel that will bear her name... The move represents an enormous bet — that her popularity and golden touch with programming can sustain an entire cable channel and that she’ll remain a central cultural figure even without the mass exposure of broadcast television every day."

CNN anchor Lou Dobbs resigned last night, telling the audience, "Over the past six months it’s become increasingly clear that strong winds of change have begun buffeting this country and affecting all of us, and some leaders in media, politics and business have been urging me to go beyond the role here at CNN and to engage in constructive problem solving as well as to contribute positively to the great understanding of the issues of our day. And to continue to do so in the most honest and direct language possible...."

Last week, NBC dramatic warhorse Law & Order continued its "ripped from the headlines" mantra and filmed a crash at Adam Clayton Powell Boulevard at West 151st Street that resembled this past summer's Taconic State Parkway wrong-way crash that left eight people dead. In the Taconic incident, mother of two Diane Schuler was apparently drunk and high when she rammed her minivan—carrying her two children and three nieces—into a car carrying three adults, killing everyone, except Schuler's young son. The Post says the L&O; crash features a "Chevy Astro minivan -- packed with kids -- north in the southbound lane of the boulevard, causing a fiery crash that leaves the minivan and another car burned to a crisp."

Is the media frenzy over the balloon boy stunt making you sick? You're not the only one! Parents Richard and Mayumi Heene are very busy pimping themselves out to the networks, and they're not about to let their li'l star's stomach virus stand in the way of their precious 15 minutes. This morning Falcon—the six-year-old boy who was hiding in the attic while America was voyeuristically titillated worried sick that he was in a runaway helium balloon—vomited twice on two different talk shows this morning, just like a pussified wus. Here's the Today Show spew, at 5:50 in:

Move over, Steve Wilkos. Brooklyn-boy-made-good Michael Mazzariello is the newest addition to in-your-face daytime TV with the recently premiered . East New York native "Judge Mazz," the former chief prosecutor for the Board of Ed, takes cases right at the scene of the crime, including within the five boroughs.

Last week's season premiere of Saturday Night Live may have had America's Most Overhyped Sexpot Megan Fox as host, but this week's second episode ended up being the true Ladies Night, with divas in full force. Host Ryan Reynolds did that thing you do when your spouse is an even bigger star than you and brought along his wife (and soon-to-be Broadway actress) Scarlett Johansson, who reprised her role as a local saleswoman pitching "Chandeliers!" for dad Fred Armisen's Long Island business, that has now apparently expanded to porcelain fountains.

Below is video of David Letterman explaining to his talk audience—and the rest of America—about how he was extorted for $2 million or else his sexual relationships with female Late Show staffers would be revealed. About 7 minutes 25 seconds in, Letterman explains what the "creepy stuff" in the blackmail package was: "The creepy stuff was that I have had sex with women who work for me on this show."

Makenzie Vega, a 15-year-old actress who plays Julianna Margulies's daughter in CBS drama The Good Wife, was staying in the room directly above the one where investment executive Andree (Sara) Bejjani was found murdered Saturday. Vega says that hours before the murder she had a retrospectively scary exchange with suspect Derrick Praileau, the housekeeping manager at the Essex House who has confessed to stabbing Bejjani with a 10-inch bread knife during a violent rape attempt.

Veteran NYC news anchor Ernie Anastos, who currently appears on MyFoxNY (channel 5)'s 5 p.m. and 10 p.m. broadcasts, spiced things up last night. Gawker explains, "Perhaps overloaded by transitive small talk between the weather report and a commercial break, Anastos — who once said 'dot cock' on live television — told meteorologist Nick Gregory that 'it takes a tough man to make a tender forecast,' and then, to the utter shock and appall of his co-anchor, Dari Alexander continued, 'Keep fucking that chicken.'" Huh?

Okay, by now you've hopefully watched the season premiere of Mad Men—and if you haven't, consider this your spoiler alert. In it, Bryan Batt's character, art director Sal Romano, finally gets some male lovin' from a hotel employee while on a business trip with Don Draper. Batt has talked plenty about the scene (video after the jump), saying he told his on-screen interest, "Close your eyes and pretend I'm Christie Brinkley." We talked to the actor who played that full-service bellhop, Orestes Arcuni, and he told us a little bit more about being transported to the mid-century set.

Being behind the wheel of a New York City cab can likely supply you with plenty of fodder for a screenplay, especially when you're driving away from a job on Wall Street. Nearly a decade ago 45-year-old Mike Puerto quit his job trading derivatives and got his taxi license. He worked on a script for a Wall Street drama and, according to the NY Post, taped a sign behind his seat that read: "If you are a TV producer or executive, I have a pilot ready to go into production." Well, he's now got himself a producer, director of photography, agent and actors on the ready for his TV project, titled "M&A;" (mergers and acquisitions). While networks expressed interest, a solid deal hasn't come through, however; so Puerto found advertisers and his plan is to buy time on Spike TV. The entourage he assembled all work for free (for now), and are convinced that Puerto is on his way to success. Paul Jarrett of Rosetta Films told the paper, "None of these people have been paid anything. It's just that Mike is such a captivating person that we keep coming back to see if he will pull all the pieces together and actually get this thing made." The sign in the cab now has this addendum: "will shortly go into production."

Tyra Banks is bringing back her talk show this Fall, and declares that this time around it will be more real than ever. Whereas her other show revolves around physical appearance, her talk show will celebrate inner and outer beauty. Today she was in Union Square taping a segment for the show wearing a bodysuit and a scarf on top of her head. (A before-stripping-down photo of Tyra, smiling with her eyes in Union Square, after the jump).

An employee at the Target in East New York is accused of conspiring with her boyfriend to set fire to the store as a diversion while they stole $8,000 worth of flat-screen televisions. And they would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling surveillance cameras! The FDNY says video depicts Jared Devonis, who was fired from Target two weeks ago, using a lighter to start a fire in the paper towel aisle.

Last night, Conan O'Brien officially took over hosting duties for The Tonight Show and opened the show with a taped bit that showed him running across the country from NYC to LA (with scenic stops at the Wrigley Field in Chicago, St. Louis Arch, and a Victorian Doll Museum somewhere else).

Unless you were one of those people on Friendster who used to list "Kill Your Television" under Favorite Shows, you probably have heard that Conan O'Brien will be taking over later this evening. As New York officially lets go of its red-headed late night stepchild once and for all, Conan introduces himself to Los Angeles with an inaugural show that has a distinct '90s feel to it: his guests are Will Ferrell and Pearl Jam and the return of old sidekick Andy Richter as his new announcer. Will Pimpbot 5000 return as well? In an interview with today's Times, Conan said, "I can’t go anywhere without people saying, ‘Good luck in LA’ Or, ‘What’s it like in LA?’ Osama Bin Laden is in a cave somewhere saying, ‘I wonder how Conan will be in LA.’”

Newsweek's cover story this week is about Oprah Winfrey and "Why Health Advice on Oprah Could Make You Sick." Ouch! The first example mentions how actress Suzanne Somers was on the show, explaining her hormone therapy regime ("She smears progesterone on her other arm two weeks a month. And once a day, she uses a syringe to inject estrogen directly into her vagina"), prompting Oprah to say, "Many people write Suzanne off as a quackadoo. But she just might be a pioneer." While Oprah did have critics present, they weren't given the prominence Somers had; Albert Einstein College of Medicine director of endocrinology tells Newsweek that Somers "simply repackag[ed] the old, discredited idea that menopause is some kind of hormone-deficiency disease, and that restoring them will bring back youth." While many of Oprah's medical endorsements are taken to task, Newsweek does give props for Dr. Mehmet Oz, the Columbia Presbyterian cardiac surgeon: "On one show, 'Everybody Poops,' Oz conducted a genuinely fascinating seminar on what comes out the other end. (It should be shaped like an S and 'hit the water like a diver from Acapulco.' Who knew?)"

The NHL is doing something they haven’t done since 1956, scheduling games of the Stanley Cup back-to-back. The reason for this almost historic event is the demands of television. NBC does not want hockey games, with their potential for multiple overtimes, running into the first week of the new Tonight Show hosted by Conan O’Brien. Yet, NBC doesn’t pay the NHL to carry it’s product, instead they have a deal where both parties split the profits after all production costs have been covered.

New Yorkers aren't exactly known for a "sharing is caring" attitude, but cab riders across town may soon be forced to make room in the back seat for total strangers, if several new proposals are approved by the Taxi and Limousine Commission. Today the TLC will meet to discuss and possibly vote on three pilot programs they say would help reduce congestion, make more cabs available, and pull in extra money for hacks. Under consideration:

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