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Gee, this sucks: Starting, um, tomorrow, the G train will be suspended on four consecutive weekends, from 10:30 p.m. on Friday until 5 a.m. on Monday, during January 15-18, January 22-25, January 29-February 1 and February 5-8. But don't despair, there will be free shuttle buses! Weeee! And if you're stuck in Long Island City or Greenpoint (there are worse fates) you've also got the fancy new B62 bus at your service. But why mercilessly yank the G now, in the dead of winter, MTA?

It was a year ago that Marty Markowitz held a mock funeral for the M train, and recently there was talk of the MTA having something up its sleeve involving the M and V lines. amNewYork now reports on the doomsday cut makeovers, noting that MTA officials are considering the V replacing the M line where it runs through north Brooklyn to Middle Village. 2nd Ave Sagas notes that the agency "may adjust the route of the V train to subsume the current M route out to Metropolitan Ave. This new route could alleviate some pressure on the L line and provide an indirect one-seat ride from parts of Brooklyn and Queens."

There are a lot of websites dedicated to snitching on fellow straphangers popping up lately. First there was Subway Douchery, then the N Train Gossip Twitter account that totally backfired on the author... and now we have Train Pigs.

Some of Midtown's most-trafficked subway stations have shaky platform edges that could put riders at risk, according to the Post. Nine months after a study determined that the dangerous conditions caused straphangers to fall onto the tracks, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority has not entirely overhauled station rubbing boards — the pieces of wood at the very edge of subway platforms.

Step back from the platform edge kitty! We do not like seeing this poor cat sitting so close to the subway tracks, but with all the mice and rats scurrying down there, you can understand the temptation. Apparently, several people have been routinely feeding this cat at the East Broadway F train station, where it's made a home. Frank Peterson, 77, tells DNAinfo he first spotted the cat back in August. He says he spends $15 a month buying cat food in bulk to feed strays around the city: "My family has always had cats and dogs. I don't have one now, so I come here." Honestly, this article just seems like a Chris Ware story waiting for illustration.

The Greenpoint woman who was arrested after trying to carry her sick pug out of the subway is planning to sue the NY Post for defamation, and possibly the city of New York. To recap, last June Chrissie Brodigan, a VP for Online Media at Plum TV, got into an angry altercation with a cop who had stopped her at the Bedford Avenue L station for transporting her dog outside a carrier.

Subway Riders Sans Pants

              

Yesterday afternoon the Improv Everywhere troupe grew to around 3,000 people as the No Pants Ride converged underground. This is their 9th time doing the annual ride, which floods the subway system with underwear-clad participants each winter. The high yesterday was 28 degrees, so this takes some dedication! Did you see any bare legs? Send us your pics!

Hey, remember that Twitter account that was posting snarky take-downs of riders on the N Train? Well, sounds like the author behind the account is getting served a little taste of his own medicine, courtesy of some sleuthy Gothamist commenters. They launched their own investigation and quickly tracked him down:

It is very easy to figure out who this person is. Since he's obviously in love with himself, who do you think the first person he is going to follow/be followed by on Twitter is? His own Twitter account, of course. If you look at this person's followers/people he follows, it's simple to figure out his identity (sort of an idiot after all).

Early this morning Sean McCarthy spotted a man down on the subway tracks, Twittering: "man passed out in the tracks on 6 line southbound at 23rd st. Alerted MTA but still had to wave down train. Phew! Too close." After that he uploaded this image from the scene, saying: "Train arrived before the medics did. Thank God the conductor saw me!"

If you see something douchey, say something douchey! For those of you who don't know about every website ever (because you have lives or something), please enjoy Subway Douchery, which went live five months ago—a century in web time—but is new to us, anyway. It posts photos of New Yorkers doing all sorts of douchey things in the subway system. Match it with some clever commentary and it's ripe for a book deal! The latest posterboy of douchey dealings is this guy who decided to lug a giant plant (tree?) on the subway instead of taking a cab. To his credit, didn't look like he did this during rush hour.

What happens on late-night, drunken subway rides? One man recently heard voices... like, those typically garbled announcements, yet allegedly crystal clear. Upon wondering about the humans behind the familiar voices, he fell down a rabbit hole online and came out with a pretty thorough article on the subterranean sounds.

It's nice and chilly out there, perfect weather to take those pants off! Slip into your best skivvies, Improv Everywhere has posted details for this year's No Pants Subway Ride (their 9th one!), which will take place on Sunday January 10th at 3 p.m. sharp. If you want to participate, you're going to have to be able to shed those pantaloons and keep a straight face about it while on the subway. Check their site for meeting places (which include spots in Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan), and get ready to see some skin. They ask that you do not wear thongs (phew) and say that if you are questioned, tell the person that you “forgot to wear pants." Send us your photos if you spot any of these fairweather exhibitionists!

The subway crew operating the uptown 6 train where a vicious fistfight left a woman bleeding severely from the face followed every protocol, a Metropolitan Transportation Authority spokesman told Gothamist. Once the crew realized that a brawl between two straphangers had broken out in the Third Avenue-138th Street station on Dec. 13 at around 1:30 am, the conductor alerted the Rail Control Center of "the fight occurring on the platform and his inability to close the doors," said MTA Transit spokesman Paul Fleuranges.

A reader emailed, "Just thought I'd let you know that the F/G is yet again a hot mess this morning, making the commute a nightmare." According to the NYC Transit Alert page, there's "a rail condition at the Church Avenue Station," which means "no G train service in both directions between the Bergen Street Station and the Church Avenue Station...Jamaica-bound F trains are terminating at the Church Avenue Station. Select Coney Island-bound F trains are terminating at the Bergen Street Station. Select Jamaica-bound F trains will run on the D line between the Coney Island-Stillwell Avenue Station and the West 4th Street-Washington Square Station."

While the transit police are busy cracking down on commuters who put their feet up on the seats, maybe they can also do something about people pulling down their underwear and grinding away on the subway? We don't know much about this truly vile Twitpic, and we don't want to know. (We regret that now you know too, but better you should hear it from us, in a safe place.) Below, in the interest full public disclosure, the NSFW version of the photo.

A straphanger recorded a brutal fistfight on the 6 train that left a woman bleeding profusely from the face. It's unclear exactly when or why the fight broke out, but the nasty spat — which goes on for about 3 minutes and spills out of the train car and into a station — was apparently uploaded and removed from YouTube on Dec 25 before being posted on the Daily Motion website on Dec. 26. (Update: It's now been removed from Daily Motion, but someone uploaded it to YouTube again, where it will probably stay for another few hours.)

No matter the time of day — nor the number of empty seats in the subway car — transit cops can issue tickets to straphangers who take up more than one seat. And according to two commuters who were hit with $50 summonses on nearly empty trains passing through the 96th Street station after midnight, the city is undergoing a ticketing blitz (again).

Last night, at the 21st Street Queensbridge F station in Queens, police say that a woman who was being harassed and followed by a group of men ultimately fatally stabbed one of the men before escaping on an F train. An MTA employee who saw the men told the Daily News, "Seven or eight of them were chasing the woman."

Now Bronx straphangers know how much longer to boogie down on subway platforms at five stations along the Pelham 6 Line. The MTA has been tweaking the countdown clocks at stations along the L line for about two years now, and the authority plans to roll out the boards at 152 stations on the numbered lines by early 2011. The stations blessed with the slick new "Public Address Customer Information Screens" [PA/CIS] are Brook Ave, Cypress Ave, E.143rd St-St. Mary’s St, E.149th St and Longwood Ave.

After countless delays and setbacks, all New Yorkers can agree that today marks a major accomplishment at Ground Zero. Earlier today, construction workers installed a Subway sandwich shop atop a crane that will rise alongside the Freedom Tower during construction. Builders hope the high-rise hoagie store will help hardhats work more efficiently by allowing them to purchase $5 footlongs without descending from the skyscraper. The Subway will be elevated higher and higher until it reaches the 105th floor — about equivalent to the height of the World Trade Center's Windows on the World restaurant.

The amusing Fake MTA Twittered this picture and added: "Jared likes transit 10% more than the NYC's public school system. Transit 2, education 0!" Plus, MTA employees don't even have to show ID!

With the MTA's approval of service cuts for subway, bus, commuter railroad, and paratransit in order to make up for a $400+ million budget shortfull, everyone is angry. But who should be blamed?

This is the man who was fatally run over by a southbound B train at the Central Park West and 110th St. station; his name was Shem Herman and he was the father of a 2-year-old son, Dylan. The 33-year-old Washington Heights man had jumped down onto the subway tracks to recover his iPod when he was killed by the oncoming train. Yesterday reporters tracked down his distraught wife and mother, so keep reading if you're not sad enough today.

As expected, the full MTA board approved a new budget that includes service cuts on subways, buses, commuter railroads and paratransit— plus the controversial phase-out of student fares. The agency found it would be over $400 million short, after the State underestimated tax revenue, the State Legislature decided to eliminate some funding, and a judge ordered the MTA to pay transit union raises.

Police have released surveillance video of three men (one is pictured) suspected of robbing and assaulting a 65-year-old and then an 11-year-old on November 25 at the 205 St. and Perry Ave D line subway station in the Bronx. The Post describes them as "three bored-looking thieves" because one yawns—the assaults occurred around 6:30 p.m. and neither of the victims was seriously injured. It's believed the suspects are in their late teens; anyone with information is urged contact Crime Stoppers at (800) 577-TIPS (8477), texting CRIMES (274637), then enter TIP577 or going to www.nypdcrimestoppers.com.

The police have released an image of a man accused of exposing and fondling himself to a young woman. According to the Daily News, "The sicko sat across from the teen on a Queens-bound G train at the Woodhaven Blvd. station in Elmhurst on Nov. 7 at about 3a.m., cops said. He allegedly stared at the victim and pleasured himself. The woman bolted from the train when the doors opened and boarded a Brooklyn-bound train out of the station, police said." The suspect is "described as a 5-foot-11 black male between 30 and 40 years old. He was last seen wearing a white jacket, dark pants and a blue stocking hat with white trim." Anyone with information is urged to contact Crime Stoppers: Call 1-800-577-TIPS, text CRIMES and then enter TIP577, or visit www.nypdcrimestoppers.com.

An unidentified man was fatally struck by a southbound B train last night around 7:30 at the Central Park West and 110th St. station. Witnesses told police the man, an Hispanic male from Washington Heights in his mid-30s, was engaged in an agitated cell phone conversation when he dropped his portable music device onto the tracks. One bystander says, "I saw a guy sitting on the stairs talking on his cellphone, then I saw him leaning over the tracks watching for a train to come, when, all of a sudden, he was nowhere to be found."

When fares rose to $2.25 and the state legislature bailed out the MTA in May, it was with the understanding that there would be no service cuts. But now the MTA's "doomsday" scenario has been revived in order to cover an unexpected financial shortfall of nearly $400 million. A budget plan under consideration by the authority’s Finance Committee today would slash the number of subway trains during the day, late nights and weekends. Free or discounted fares for students would be phased out, dozens of bus lines would be reduced or eliminated, the W and Z would be terminated, and service on the M and G lines cut back. And people are pissed.

Here we go again. As mentioned yesterday, the cash-strapped Metropolitan Transportation Authority is looking for a way to cut costs — meaning that just about all of the extensive service cuts that were approved and then rescinded last year are on the table again.

Viral videos are okay when they're for a good cause, right? City Harvest has a pretty neat one out where the star of the show is... the apple! Take a look:

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