The Punch

If MPs want to argue they are worth $185,000 a year base pay they might first explain how Labor’s Craig Thomson spent 42 days overseas on a taxpayer ticket and couldn’t describe what he did in his own words.

He had to crib from the speeches of others – word for word. They might also explain how independent Speaker Peter Slipper, when a Liberal, could go through $7000 on overseas telephone calls using the mobile funded by taxpayers.

All up he spent $14,000 on telecommunications in six months. The man just isn’t that popular.

Continue reading "This is no good time to give MPs a payrise" »

This week, scientists announced that hey, you betcha, they’re darn nearly almost kinda totally sure that they’ve confirmed the existence of a thing no average person can see or hear or feel.

And the world said, okey dokey, we pretty much believe you. Not exactly sure what all this means or how it affects us, but hey, we’ll buy it. You’re the guys in the lab coats, after all, and we’re the ones stupid enough to wear cargo pants. Therefore, or “ergo” as you guys would put it, you must be right. Right?

Hands up who’s guessed where this thing’s heading…

Continue reading "We must be mugs for accepting the hoax boson" »

There are 20 minutes remaining. Score’s locked at 16-all. The young family is in the lounge room, a rare event in itself, nervously watching their Wests Tigers.

As a scrum is formed, Ray Warren proclaims with a hint of surprise the Tigers are $2.15 to win on TAB Sportsbet. Dad, slumped in his armchair, jolts, bolt upright. He commands his eight-year-old boy to bring him the phone. The little boy marvels as he watches Dad punch in the numbers with vigour.

Dad replaces his customary “hello” for a mysterious set of numbers, before announcing down the line - no, demanding - he will have a hundred dollars on the Wests Tigers, and doing it with a sense of pride. The conversation ends, the phone dispensed with.

Continue reading "Hey Xenophon, don’t shoot the gambling messengers" »

Thanks to the high dollar, Australians have become the world’s most savvy online bargain hunters. Parcels with cheaper DVDs from the US, computer games from Hong Kong and books from Britain now arrive on our shores in the thousands every day.

Australian buyers obviously know how much they can save by shunning domestic retailers for their overseas competitors. Little wonder when, say, Steve Jobs’ biography is selling for $44 in Australia but for the equivalent of just $18 in Britain. Some British online retailers even offer free world-wide shipping.

What most Australians are probably unaware of is how much more they could save if it was possible to buy other goods internationally. Cars for example.

Continue reading "How are we ripped off? Let us count the ways…" »

In a perfect world, justice would be swift. Right and wrong would be black and white. Good people would feel protected by the law and bad people would go to jail. In reality, crimes like murder and rape are as complicated as they are common. Sound verdicts take time.

So a Sydney judge’s suggestion to do away with juries in these cases, in the interests of efficiency, presents serious risk to the way we understand and trust the law.

Speed in these decisions risks poor judgement. Worse, it can destroy people’s lives.

Continue reading "Don’t hang the jury" »

What do women want? This question has vexed philosophers, feminists and talk show hosts since time immemorial (or at least since Mel Gibson started making bad romantic comedies).

The good news is that we now have a definitive answer – and it doesn’t involve equal pay, housework help or a nude frolic on a Northern Territory balcony.

As it turns out, nothing brings a woman more pleasure, euphoria or knee-trembling jouissance than… (anticipation-enhancing trumpet flurry)… chowing down solo on a salad.

Continue reading "You don’t win friends with salad. Unless they’re women" »

Over the next few months, countless Australians will be forced to listen to their friends and co-workers ponder holiday destinations.

Many factors will be considered during this process - from the number of recognisable landmarks that can be used to create obnoxious Facebook profile pictures, to whether the guy will believe them when they say the scooter was already dented when they got it.

Chief among these considerations, however, will be whether or not their chosen destination will be overrun with other human beings, who intend to use the same chunk of land for similar recreational purposes. It is this exact concern that drives so many over-confident Australians, particularly Queenslanders, to embark on ill-fated outback adventures every holiday season.

Continue reading "Go on a holiday to the middle of nowhere and you’ll DIE" »

What happened
Sheen, the son of the excellent Martin and the star of a crap blockbuster TV show, destroyed his immediate career in a drug-, women- and media-fuelled tizzy of spectacular proportions.

There were signs that Sheen’s life was starting to careen out of control in January when he went to rehab after a series of public shenanigans. Two and a Half Men was put on hiatus.

But the kerfuffle didn’t really get started until Sheen called up a US radio show to tell the world just what he thought of Two and a Half Men and its producers. He declared the TV show was: “A pukefest that everyone worships” (right on, Charlie) run by an “AA Nazi” and “blatant hypocrite”. Producers, who were sick of Sheen’s issues and his partying, ended production.

Continue reading "Biggest moments of 2011 #9 The Sheen comes off Charlie" »

History is littered with good intentions gone bad and concerns are growing the Government’s recently released draft Murray Darling Basin Plan is a prime example.

Frontline environmentalists, who live and work with the vagaries of the rivers, are warning that the Government is heading down the wrong track and could be responsible for allowing wetlands, which not even the worst drought in living memory could kill, to be severely damaged as a result of over-watering.

If we have above average rainfall over the next 12 months the world’s largest river red gum forest is facing the very real prospect of being degraded within three years of it being declared a national park, and two years before the Federal Government has signed off on an environmental watering plan.

Continue reading "Water, water, everywhere and all the trees will shrink" »

A former Sun editor has had an almighty crack at the Guardian, after the latest twist in the News of the World saga in which police revealed there’s no evidence journalists deleted Milly Dowler’s voicemails.

The Guardian had claimed that NOTW journos, by deleting messages from Milly’s full mailbox, had given her parents false hope that she was still alive. That report helped spark a maelstrom that is still sucking people in and down.

Turns out the phone company automatically deletes messages after 72 hours. The Guardian apologised for the error. Sort of.

Now, former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie has unleashed on the Guardian and reporter Nick Davies, demanding a better apology, and an apology to Rupert Murdoch, and blaming him for the 300 staff who lost their jobs when the paper closed. And he doesn’t stop there.

Continue reading "Punch on: Open thread 15/12/2011" »