As swine flu took up residency in the Premier League, health officials were left spitting mad.
Following news that the virus had floored players from Blackburn and Bolton, the Health Protection Agency immediately declared war on the dribblers (admittedly not something associated with either club).
An HPA spokesman said: "Spitting is disgusting at all times... footballers, like the rest of us, wouldn't spit indoors so they shouldn't do it on the football pitch." (Hang on, isn't a football pitch outdoors?)
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You've got to feel a bit sorry for Aston Villa. You get the result of the weekend against Chelsea - and all anyone wants to talk about is a lousy beach ball.
The star of Sunderland's win over Liverpool got more column inches than Nelson, with predictable headlines such as 'Life's A Beach' and 'Liverpool Deflated' appearing in tabloids and broadsheets alike.
The Sun mocked up pictures featuring the inflatable in historic events, including the last voyage of the Titanic (captain swerves to avoid beach ball and misses iceberg). Meanwhile The Spoof website suggested the ball was going to be appointed director of coaching at Anfield, before later claiming it was actually Sammy Lee in a cunning disguise.
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Glastonbury-goers of old may (or may not) recall a little gem called The Field of Weird Beard.
I was instantly transported back there on Wednesday night as David Beckham strode on to the Wembley turf for his 'match-winning' cameo.
I've got nothing against a bit of facial decoration - but Beckham's latest fashion accessory just looks.....well, wrong. (Or well-wrong as they say round my way.)
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After years of flaunting their wealth, falling out of clubs and dropping their trousers in public, it seems footballers have decided humility is the new cool.
Carlos Tevez started the trend by apologising to West Ham fans for scoring against them, and since then players have been queueing up to disprove Elton John's lament that Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.
Why just this week we've had Richard Dunne forcing his arms down after netting for Villa against City, while Middlesbrough's Leroy Lita was equally reticent after netting his second goal against his old chums at Reading.
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Arsene Wenger's amusing antics have dominated this blog for the past fortnight and Sir Alex Ferguson has clearly had enough.
The Manchester United boss was bang on the money this week - as he played up to his audience with a spring in his step and a twinkle in his eye.
Stoke fans were the first on the hit-list after the Britannia faithful's cheeky chant of: "Fergie, Fergie what's the time?" (A reference to the seven added minutes in the Manchester derby for all those who've been on Mars).
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I am a journalist with BBC Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. 
