- Eve Barrett: Betty, dear, you've got to stop throwing yourself at men. You're only going to get hurt!
- Betty Barrett: Not if my aim is good!
- Betty Barrett: Actually, I have a date with him tonight.
- Eve Barrett: Betty, dear, can't you get in enough trouble here, without going below the border?
- José O'Rourke: Well, guess this is what you call a happy ending, huh? After all, I got the girl I wanted, she got the man she wanted, and you - well, you got the business.
- Joe Backett: Yeah. Yeah, I sure did, didn't I?
- Joe Backett: Doesn't our business, our friendship, mean more to you than this, this, Romeo from the Amazon?
- Joe Backett: The mallet wielder insults me. I try to defend myself, and I'm accused of creating a scene.
- Betty Barrett: Oh, I forgot - my engagement ring. I bought it today. You'll get the bill for it tomorrow.
- Eve Barrett: Mr. O'Rourke, your state of mind after you tuck your horses in is hardly any of my concern. I'm sure you can find some other misguided female to take their place.
- Jack Spratt: [Impersonating José O'Rourke] Merci, mademoiselle.
- [Betty looks puzzled]
- Jack Spratt: You understand Spanish good? Good. Ah, Spanish is the beautiful language of love.
- Betty Barrett: You speak it fluently, don't you?
- Jack Spratt: Mmm, oh, umh, Tijuana.
- Betty Barrett: Ah, huh, well, I wanna if you wanna.
- Joe Backett: I went right after her. Well, she knew me and knew what I wanted, but the answer was still no. I tried to convince her we could go places together, but she wasn't interested.
- Joe Backett: She lived in a little apartment near the college with all her trophies and her sister - a scatterbrained little chick who had a lot to offer, but couldn't seem to get anyone to take it.
- Jack Spratt: I'll bet you've had plenty of girls.
- José O'Rourke: Ah, too many. Believe me, horses are more dependable.
- Jack Spratt: Really?
- José O'Rourke: Of course, one cannot make love to a horse.
- Jack Spratt: No, unless one happens to be another horse.
- José O'Rourke: You mean your mother wouldn't let you go out with members of the opposite sex?
- Jack Spratt: Yeah, but she wouldn't tell me which ones was the opposite sex.
- Joe Backett: I kept telling her the swimsuit business was crying for us. With my ideas and her face and figure, we'd be a cinch!
- Betty Barrett: [singing] They've warned me time and again, But, oh, how I love those men, Those men, Those men...
- Jack Spratt: Why do l have to speak Spanish?
- José O'Rourke: Because it's a language of love. Women can't resist it.
- José O'Rourke: Well, amigo, maybe your approach is wrong. Now, what is the first thing you do when you get a woman in your arms?
- Jack Spratt: Well, I give her a salt rub.
- Eve Barrett: The material is cut, it is stacked in sizes ranging from 10 to 20. You know, any woman over size 20 should have her bathing suit made to order.
- José O'Rourke: Oh, I agree.
- José O'Rourke: We will go to dinner, drive along the ocean. There'll be a moon tonight. I'm sure you can show me many points of interest.
- Eve Barrett: [music starts playing in the background] What's that?
- José O'Rourke: Oh, just some of the stable boys. They play at the drop of a sombrero. Do you know what the music is saying?
- Eve Barrett: l have an idea.
- Eve Barrett: My sister Betty is somewhat of a problem. She needs to find a man that's substantial and settled and, well, safe.
- José O'Rourke: And I am not?
- Eve Barrett: Well, are you?
- José O'Rourke: No. No, I am unsubstantial, unsettled and - definitely unsafe.
- Eve Barrett: Our bathing suits are made of silk from China, rubber from Malaya, wool from Australia, cotton from all over the world - and, of course, our own wonderful synthetic rayons made right here.
- José O'Rourke: [singing] You bring me madness, madness, Beautiful madness every little while, When you pass by, And you smile, My heart beats faster, faster...
- Eve Barrett: Joe, lower your eyebrows. l'm strictly a career gal. The only interest l have in men is whether or not they whistle at our bathing suits.
- Joe Backett: I spent three hours with the president of the club waiting for you.
- Eve Barrett: And you waited in the bar.
- Joe Backett: Can I help it if he likes television?
- Matilda the Maid: Said she'd meet him at his apartment tonight. Alone.
- Eve Barrett: Matilda, are you sure?
- Matilda the Maid: Sure, I'm sure. I heard it with my own two little pierced ears.
- Eve Barrett: Will you tell my sister to come out of your closet?
- José O'Rourke: There is nothing in my closet except a few suits...... one of which is minus a button. At home, we have a skeleton.
- José O'Rourke: Why don't you sit down, have a nice drink and cool off, huh?
- Eve Barrett: Mr. O'Rourke, I wouldn't drink with you if you were the last man on earth.
- José O'Rourke: Well, what an interesting possibility.
- José O'Rourke: [singing] How can you do this thing to me?
- Eve Barrett: There's bound to be talk tomorrow
- José O'Rourke: Think of my lifelong sorrow
- Eve Barrett: At least there will be plenty implied
- José O'Rourke: If you caught pneumonia and died
- Eve Barrett: I really can't stay
- José O'Rourke: Get over that old doubt
- Eve Barrett: Ah, but
- José O'Rourke: Baby
- Eve Barrett, José O'Rourke: It's cold outside...
- José O'Rourke: I never dreamed this morning I'd hold you in my arms this evening.
- Eve Barrett: The only reason I'm in your arms this evening is so my sister Betty won't be.
- Lukie Luzette: Big game, eh? Any good bets around?
- Joe Backett: Lukie, this is a polo match, strictly society stuff. Fifty bucks is tops in the locker room.
- Lukie Luzette: Fifty bucks? That's birdseed. I bet that on traffic signals.
- Mac Mozolla: Look, I ain't got all day. Lukie wants to see you.
- Jack Spratt: Lukie? Lukie who?
- Mac Mozolla: Lukie Luzette, that's who.
- Betty Barrett: Ready, go. Backstroke, two, three, four, five, six, seven, together. Forward, two, three, four, five. Breaststroke...
- Lukie Luzette: Now, listen, and get this straight. Go out to the Middlebrook Country Club tomorrow and pick up a polo player named José O'Rourke. Bring him here.
- Mac Mozolla: Suppose he don't wanna come?
- Lukie Luzette: Persuade him.
- Lukie Luzette: Know anything about polo?
- Mac Mozolla: Eh? What's his first name?
- Lukie Luzette: No, no, it's a game. Very fast. Played with a mallet and a ball.
- Mac Mozolla: Oh, you mean croquet.