Biloxi Blues (1988)
Corey Parker: Arnold B. Epstein
Photos
Quotes
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Arnold Epstein : You're a witness. You're always standing around watching what's happening, scribbling in your book what other people do. You have to get in the middle of it. You have to take sides. Make a contribution to the fight. Any fight. The one you believe in.
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Sergeant Toomey : Hey, Fred Astaire, you tryin' to tell me something?
Arnold Epstein : I have to go to the bathroom, sergeant.
Sergeant Toomey : You can't do that. We don't have "bathrooms" in the Army.
Arnold Epstein : They had them at Fort Dix.
Sergeant Toomey : Not bathrooms, they didn't
Arnold Epstein : Yes, they did. I went in them a lot.
Sergeant Toomey : I'm tellin' you, we don't have any "bathrooms" on this base. Do you doubt my veracity?
Arnold Epstein : No, sergeant.
Sergeant Toomey : Then you've got a problem, don't you Epstein?
Arnold Epstein : Ho ho.
Sergeant Toomey : You bet your ass ho ho. You know why you've got a problem?
Arnold Epstein : Because I've got to go real bad.
Sergeant Toomey : No, son. You've got a problem because you don't know Army terminology. The place where a U.S. soldier goes to defecate, relieve himself, open his bowel, shit, fart, dump, crap, and unload, is called the latrine. The la-trine, from the French.
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Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.
Arnold Epstein : Ho, ho!
Toomey : Are there two Arnold Epsteins in this company?
Arnold Epstein : No, sergeant.
Toomey : But I heard more than one Ho.
Arnold Epstein : Yes, sergeant.
Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.
Arnold Epstein : Ho!
Toomey : One more time.
Arnold Epstein : Ho!
Toomey : Do I make myself clear, Epstein?
Arnold Epstein : Ho!
Toomey : Do I make myself clear, Jerome?
Jerome : Ho, yes!
Toomey : Ho what?
Jerome : Ho nothing!
Toomey : Are you having trouble understanding me, Jerome?
Jerome : Ho no. I mean, no ho, sergent. Just plain ho.
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Arnold Epstein : Why do you think I'm a homosexual?
Eugene Morris Jerome : I guess it's because you never talk about girls.
Arnold Epstein : I never talk about dogs either. Does that make me a cocker spaniel?
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Joseph Wykowski : I've got three enemies now, Jerome. The Japs, the Germans, and you!
Eugene Morris Jerome : I wasn't in on that Pearl Harbor thing.
[Epstein, who has a problem with flatulence, selects the bunk next to Selridge]
Arnold Epstein : Is this bunk taken?
Selridge : Oh, no! I don't mind dyin', but I don't wanna get my nose blown off...
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Arnold Epstein : Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.
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Arnold Epstein : I would like to make Sergeant Merwyn J. Toomey do 200 push-ups in front of this platoon.
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Eugene Morris Jerome : Why is it that we come from the same place but I can't understand you?
Arnold Epstein : You're a witness. You're always standing around watching what's happening, scribbling in your book what other people do. You have to get in the middle of it. You have to take sides. Make a contribution to the fight.
Eugene Morris Jerome : What fight?
Arnold Epstein : Any fight. One you believe in. Until you do you'll never be a writer Eugene.
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Sergeant Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.
Arnold Epstein : Ho, ho!
Sergeant Toomey : Are there two Arnold Epsteins in this company?
Arnold Epstein : No, Sergeant.
Sergeant Toomey : Then just give me one Goddamn ho!
Arnold Epstein : Yes, Sergeant.
Sergeant Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.
Arnold Epstein : Ho!
