Take a bevy of actors and give them an awful script with risible dialogue and you get this...a small group overacting and running around an old Star Trek set. Stef Dawson's character 'Milly Piper' could've died after she first open her mouth as far as I'm concerned, she's THAT bad. The quest to find a lost brother is their aim, except for Kelsey Grammer's Mason who is really trying to track down the elixir of life...bwah ha haaaa (twirls imaginary moustache). The main threat to their journey is hundreds upon hundreds of deadly spiders who appear to be made of black shiny leather and can hiss and squeak...Yes, you read that right...hiss and squeak.
By all means, watch this, suspend all disbelief, let the film wash over you and drown in its ridiculousness. It's a real hoot, soon to be considered a classic amongst godawful movies that you can say "Yes...I sat through that film and survived." Now go and enjoy!
61 Reviews
Fair to Middling Movie
jimkennyeverett-691-76083321 March 2018
I was looking forward to this Movie, but alarm bells went off the moment it started. The Direction is shocking and it doesn't matter how good an actor you are if the director is poor you are going to come over as the worst actor ever. I like Kelsey Grammer and Kellen Lutz but both don't come out of this very well, it says a lot when the big hairy Australian comedy relief character comes out of it better than the actors you paid the big money too. The special effects were half decent and spiders were quite scary and it seems the movie had a decent budget. They just let it go horribly wrong. The movie was primarily funded by Australia and China so I would have said that Russell Mulcahy would have been an ideal Director choice. They chose someone else and this is the end result. What should have been a 7/10 is actually a 5. Disappointing.
Weak movie, who are the 7 guardians?
Paulo_Clemente2 February 2019
A group of people goes to rescue two missing employees of a pharmaceutical.
This is a weak movie, one of the most important things you can say with a movie like this is that you have to be patient and brave to watch it until the end. Well I was, but on the end I just felt like I lost 90 minutes of my life.
The plot is confuse, who are the guardians? The acting is what it is , with dialogues like this you can´t do much about it. Even the guy that was supposed to be funny is far from it.
I´m disappointed to see the beautiful an amazing Li Bingbing take part of this.
On the end I just say that if you did not see this don´t waste your time on it, you will not be sorry that you didn´t see this movie.
Wow
JohnSwerdan1 February 2018
I was, forced to watch this movie. I saw the trailer and thought "That looks terrible" then I watched the movie and... it was terrible. It is getting a 2/10 because it made me laugh a couple times, so it did bring a little pleasure to my life.
The key issues was the inclusion of a character that had no purpose, literally zero. The constant explanation on things that didn't need to be explained. Seriously, there are too many times that a question is asked and then BAM the answer is over-explained the audience is stupid or something. Which leads to a fair bit of the dialogue being boring and poorly written.
There is one scene that is amazing thought because it is so funny. So you will get at least one good laugh at t he movie.
The key issues was the inclusion of a character that had no purpose, literally zero. The constant explanation on things that didn't need to be explained. Seriously, there are too many times that a question is asked and then BAM the answer is over-explained the audience is stupid or something. Which leads to a fair bit of the dialogue being boring and poorly written.
There is one scene that is amazing thought because it is so funny. So you will get at least one good laugh at t he movie.
SciFi Channel Bootleg Garbage!
covington_c26 September 2019
Not worth the unearthing
TheLittleSongbird14 November 2018
It did take a while for me to watch 'Guardians of the Tomb' and was really not sure whether to do so. The trailer and advertising looking absolutely terrible, enough to make one giving the film a wide berth, but 'Guardians of the Tomb' happened to be the film choice for the family/friend film night (being a massive film fan of all genres old and new missing it was out of the question) and was watched with low expectations felt by all prior.
'Guardians of the Tomb' did turn out to be as bad as the advertising made it look and as has been said about it. It has often been cited as one of the worst films of 2018 and it's on my personal worst films list. It completely fails to be cheesy fun or a mild diversion, as was clearly intended. Watched 'Guardians of the Tomb' bearing that in mind and judging it from that standpoint, being someone who judges a film for what it is trying to do and be and the film is a failure when it fails to achieve its goal, something that in my mind 'Guardians of the Tomb' does.
Only two decent things here. One is the scenery, which is pleasing on the eyes and has atmosphere.
The other, and the best thing about the film, is Kelsey Grammer (have always loved him in 'Cheers', his voice work and especially 'Frasier', though he does done quite a lot of bad films in recent years) giving his absolute all and having a blast. Not subtle at all by all means, but he is the one aspect where the film showed signs of trying.
Rest of the acting is awful. As chronically dull as Kellen Lutz is, it is the insufferably annoying Bingbing Li who wins the dubious award of worst performances. The cast are saddled with characters that are never interesting or endearing, which makes it difficult forgive that they are every archetype in the genre 'Guardians of the Tomb' falls into, and a script that goes well overboard on the cheese factor.
Furthermore, that the story in 'Guardians of the Tomb' has not one original thought, and instead a mix of done to death genre tropes, is the least of that component's problems. More problematic are that there are no thrills, fun or suspense to be had. It is too excessively predictable and perfunctory in pace to be thrilling, far too intelligence-insultingly dumb and muddled with too many ideas handled vaguely to be fun and with never a sense of anything at stake or menacing threat to be suspenseful. It doesn't even look good, with a direct to video-like look similar to films made for the SyFy channel, with special effects that would look out of date 20+ years ago.
Concluding, very poor. 2/10 Bethany Cox
'Guardians of the Tomb' did turn out to be as bad as the advertising made it look and as has been said about it. It has often been cited as one of the worst films of 2018 and it's on my personal worst films list. It completely fails to be cheesy fun or a mild diversion, as was clearly intended. Watched 'Guardians of the Tomb' bearing that in mind and judging it from that standpoint, being someone who judges a film for what it is trying to do and be and the film is a failure when it fails to achieve its goal, something that in my mind 'Guardians of the Tomb' does.
Only two decent things here. One is the scenery, which is pleasing on the eyes and has atmosphere.
The other, and the best thing about the film, is Kelsey Grammer (have always loved him in 'Cheers', his voice work and especially 'Frasier', though he does done quite a lot of bad films in recent years) giving his absolute all and having a blast. Not subtle at all by all means, but he is the one aspect where the film showed signs of trying.
Rest of the acting is awful. As chronically dull as Kellen Lutz is, it is the insufferably annoying Bingbing Li who wins the dubious award of worst performances. The cast are saddled with characters that are never interesting or endearing, which makes it difficult forgive that they are every archetype in the genre 'Guardians of the Tomb' falls into, and a script that goes well overboard on the cheese factor.
Furthermore, that the story in 'Guardians of the Tomb' has not one original thought, and instead a mix of done to death genre tropes, is the least of that component's problems. More problematic are that there are no thrills, fun or suspense to be had. It is too excessively predictable and perfunctory in pace to be thrilling, far too intelligence-insultingly dumb and muddled with too many ideas handled vaguely to be fun and with never a sense of anything at stake or menacing threat to be suspenseful. It doesn't even look good, with a direct to video-like look similar to films made for the SyFy channel, with special effects that would look out of date 20+ years ago.
Concluding, very poor. 2/10 Bethany Cox
Every Scene is the Same
cognitron9 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Here's the breakdown for every scene in the movie:
1: The main characters are leisurely exploring a room. 2: The spiders show up, and the main characters suddenly remember they're on the run from these spiders. 3: The main characters escape into another room to repeat the process.
The movie tries to set up a twist ending where they think they've escaped from the spiders but haven't, but it's not really a twist when you're just repeating the formula from every other scene. It's incredible how bad this movie is. Definitely check it out if you're into trainwrecks.
1: The main characters are leisurely exploring a room. 2: The spiders show up, and the main characters suddenly remember they're on the run from these spiders. 3: The main characters escape into another room to repeat the process.
The movie tries to set up a twist ending where they think they've escaped from the spiders but haven't, but it's not really a twist when you're just repeating the formula from every other scene. It's incredible how bad this movie is. Definitely check it out if you're into trainwrecks.
Just another bad movie at the start of the year
dreamcity-6331112 February 2018
Just like 1 of the other review , i was forced to watch this film because my dumb friends bought the tickets. Already base of the name of this movie i knew this movie was going to be bad , and it is.
The acting is so bad it acttualy made me laugh just because how bad it is , the dialogue is so cringy sometimes.
And for the title , this title doesn't even related to the movie , there is no guardians neither " 7 " , just another spider in a cave-movie, wow , how " Original ".
The plot is so predictable that me and my friend were having fun to predicted who is going to die next and who will survive.
The CGI look okay if this movie was made in 2005 , and oh my god, the " flashback " scenes is absolute garbage , it hurt my eyes everytime i saw it to the point i have to close my eyes.
Shitty movie , i do not recommend anyone to watch this.
Wow.... What can I say.
clarethebear5 September 2018
This film was begging for Nicholas Cage. Dr Fraser Crane held the post but there's nothing that some good old fashioned Nic Cage wooden acting wouldn't have done to put this film up in the Oscar nominee category.
If you like spiders that growl, ok-ish CGI, sets where cast walk through one door (scene cuts) and they walk back through the same door the other way to a different mediocre set .... then this bad boy is for you!!
Likes: 1) the spiders are considerate enough to always leave a web free safe passage for the cast tonthe next scene 2) these spiders have learnt to growl - it's about time our arachnid friends had a voice 3) Kelsey Grammer accent keeps you guessing and on the edge of your seat for the length of the whole flick
Dislikes: no Nicholas Cage.
Summary: You'll be gutted if you don't watch this and the awards start rolling in at the oscars, baftas etc etc etc etc.
**SPOILER*** The only thing that would make the plot and cast of this film better is if 'Fraisers' 'Niles' popped up at the end and rescued his brothers soul.
Likes: 1) the spiders are considerate enough to always leave a web free safe passage for the cast tonthe next scene 2) these spiders have learnt to growl - it's about time our arachnid friends had a voice 3) Kelsey Grammer accent keeps you guessing and on the edge of your seat for the length of the whole flick
Dislikes: no Nicholas Cage.
Summary: You'll be gutted if you don't watch this and the awards start rolling in at the oscars, baftas etc etc etc etc.
**SPOILER*** The only thing that would make the plot and cast of this film better is if 'Fraisers' 'Niles' popped up at the end and rescued his brothers soul.
You have to see this rubbish to believe it!!
lesbo-462723 April 2018
This is the first movie I have ever reviewed. It is so awful it's laughable. There's a bit of several movies here; Indiana Jones, Arachnophobia, The Mummy etc, but it just doesn't work. At first I thought it was a piss take but I think it was meant to be a serious attempt at an adventure movie.
The acting is terrible, especially Kelsey Grammer, but nobody comes out with any credit.
If anyone has seen a worse movie than this I would be surprised.
Cannot understand the low ratings here
petrun-4203911 March 2018
This movie without a doubt is about a 7.5 imo. Good special effects, good plot line, good acting, great reflection of movies like Indiana Jones and other archaeological movies. I enjoyed this movie a lot and did not stop it to miss much. Then again, to each his own. I liked this movie a lot.
Riveting Indiana Jones style adventure
robertemerald14 January 2019
The slightly slow start was the only real criticism I had with this picture, other than the soundtrack was extremely conservative. Other than that it lived up to its name, was well-thought out and had several original touches. There was good cgi throughout. Remember the scarab beetles in The Mummy? That sort of effect was great, but there were plenty of really original good close up shots of critters to back it up, as well as a great fire effects and much much more. I thought the actors took a few minutes to find their feet, but overall the acting and casting was brilliant. Shane Jacobsen was a great foil as the deadpan humorist, and Kelsey Grammar also lived up to his reputation. The leads were professional and easy on the eye, with a good script to work with. My fear was that this would degenerate into B-movie territory, but it never did, in fact, by the end I thought it close to a Hollywood blockbuster, and I really enjoying various and numerous doses of monster movie tension. The flashback scenes were very tasteful, appropriate and not intrusive to the main plot. The tomb itself was a little repetitive and unoriginal, but then again this was not a Hollywood blockbuster. I really cared about these characters. I predict that Guardians of the Tomb will attract more followers as time goes by.
The ending is better than the beginning and there are three terrific songs included for the closing credits.
The ending is better than the beginning and there are three terrific songs included for the closing credits.
Give it a chance.
finesherry25 February 2018
Sometimes you get fed up of Hollywood films and big blockbusters. Saw the trailer to this, thought it looked ok. Well watched it, and must say I enjoyed it. It was not brilliant, but neither rubbish, but I thought it was good, well it entertained me for an hour and half. Isn't that what films are supposed to do, entertain. Give it a watch, it aint that bad.
boring and childish
achan-9304624 February 2018
So, this is how burnt money smells like.
what were the financiers & executive producers of this garbage thinking?
The acting made my skin craw. The plot was stupid and patronizing - especially to Chinese audiences.
What makes the Chinese investors think Chinese audiences want to see Chinese men play inferior roles to a white man in China?
Who are the idiots burning their money to fund this trash?
I suppose the morons paying for this trash will keep burning their life savings until the lesson is learned.
what were the financiers & executive producers of this garbage thinking?
The acting made my skin craw. The plot was stupid and patronizing - especially to Chinese audiences.
What makes the Chinese investors think Chinese audiences want to see Chinese men play inferior roles to a white man in China?
Who are the idiots burning their money to fund this trash?
I suppose the morons paying for this trash will keep burning their life savings until the lesson is learned.
clichéd raised to the power of infinity
umapatisingh3 February 2018
Extremely uninspiring. Totally unfunny.
Each and every scene and dialog is so clichéd. Exactly 5 minutes into the movie and the plot becomes extremely obvious. The screenplay is probably written by a 12 year old while he was sitting in detention.
Each and every scene and dialog is so clichéd. Exactly 5 minutes into the movie and the plot becomes extremely obvious. The screenplay is probably written by a 12 year old while he was sitting in detention.
Not Indiana Jones
youlking13 July 2021
You can feel that it's a Chinese production throughout. I don't know what it is, if it's censorship or some moral code the filmmakers have to adhere to. Whatever it is, it's immediately apparent, and it's not a good thing. It feels sanitised and bland.
Maybe all the money went on the cast, it definitely didn't go on the writing.
Maybe all the money went on the cast, it definitely didn't go on the writing.
Unbelievable.
scrich999924 February 2018
Watch this only if you're paid to.
movieswithgreg7 August 2018
Let's cut to the chase. This is a visual dumpster of ciches, predictability, stupid premises, and muddled, convoluted storytelling that clumsily attempts to unfold a narrative, but rather than unfolding, it oozes from several sores at once from the plot body. It's The Mummy meets Scooby Do In the Lair of the Deep-Throated Spider.
The Jia character, a Chinese female scientist who must have been the adopted grand-daughter of the Professor from Gilligan's Island, takes the trophy for annoying. Her non-stop dialogue consists of a series of all-knowing speeches and declarative statements like: "these spiders were trained to ....." She knows everything about everything about what the chinese mummy emperors thought, felt, did, you name it. She's the movie's deus ex machina via a writer's dialogue. Through her character, the writers just spit out factoids so we the audience have some clue what's supposed to be going on. Of course, the factoids don't make sense except in the rules of reality in the fake world the movie tries, and fails, to sell us.
One character's job is simple -- he just makes wise-cracks. Kellan Lutz provides almost all the action and stunts and of course, hunkiness. For the life of me I can't fathom why Kelsey Grammer signed onto this. His acting is solid -- considering his role is so....so....simplistic. They're underground most of the movie, yet their flashlights and phone lights seem to last forever. More annoyingly -- their underground caverns, which have no light source, frequently glow with inexplicable light from no source that makes sense. Without this fiction, the whole movie would look like one long boy scout ghost story inside the tent scene, where all we could see was what was in any given flashlight's overglare, about two feet wide at a time. No one would watch that. Just like no one should watch this.
The Jia character, a Chinese female scientist who must have been the adopted grand-daughter of the Professor from Gilligan's Island, takes the trophy for annoying. Her non-stop dialogue consists of a series of all-knowing speeches and declarative statements like: "these spiders were trained to ....." She knows everything about everything about what the chinese mummy emperors thought, felt, did, you name it. She's the movie's deus ex machina via a writer's dialogue. Through her character, the writers just spit out factoids so we the audience have some clue what's supposed to be going on. Of course, the factoids don't make sense except in the rules of reality in the fake world the movie tries, and fails, to sell us.
One character's job is simple -- he just makes wise-cracks. Kellan Lutz provides almost all the action and stunts and of course, hunkiness. For the life of me I can't fathom why Kelsey Grammer signed onto this. His acting is solid -- considering his role is so....so....simplistic. They're underground most of the movie, yet their flashlights and phone lights seem to last forever. More annoyingly -- their underground caverns, which have no light source, frequently glow with inexplicable light from no source that makes sense. Without this fiction, the whole movie would look like one long boy scout ghost story inside the tent scene, where all we could see was what was in any given flashlight's overglare, about two feet wide at a time. No one would watch that. Just like no one should watch this.
Its bad. But it is fun...relax people
barbell_2814 July 2019
i lasted 13 mins
emceetim13 March 2018
I lasted 13 minutes appoxiamtely , i dont know which is worse , the acting , the script or the really bad voice dubbing (adr), avoid , total rubbish , the chinese lady asked so many questions early on, it was disrespectful to chinese people why werent the americans asking the question but i still wanted her dead lol , terrible movie
Better than some hollywood craps....
movieplanet-9329328 August 2018
I dont understand why so many bad rating on this movie, this one is a good fantasy adventure thriller, with decent visual effects, decent acting , and a very good story. i will definitely recommend this movie. please watch it , you will love it.
Cheesy Adventure Pulp B-Movie!
icocleric20 June 2022
It was a B-Movie, but a B-Movie with a fairly okay budget and it looked pretty good actually. When I saw the title page and synopsis I thought it was going to be bad, but it was better than I expected. I mean it was one of those "bad films" but, the good kind for the right reasons.
Honestly it was so much fun, it very much had the Adventure Pulp vibe to it. If you are scared of spiders though, this film is not for you. There's a lot of them. Are they supposed to be the "guardians of the tomb" I have no idea? There were some pretty big spiders too.
There was more questions than answers with some of the plot holes that popped up, and it was cheesy. But it felt like a ride, but a fun one at least. I thought the actors did a really great job too. I really enjoyed it and thought it was all kinds of fun.
I do agree with another reviewer that this film needed Nicholas Cage! That would have made this film even better.
Honestly it was so much fun, it very much had the Adventure Pulp vibe to it. If you are scared of spiders though, this film is not for you. There's a lot of them. Are they supposed to be the "guardians of the tomb" I have no idea? There were some pretty big spiders too.
There was more questions than answers with some of the plot holes that popped up, and it was cheesy. But it felt like a ride, but a fun one at least. I thought the actors did a really great job too. I really enjoyed it and thought it was all kinds of fun.
I do agree with another reviewer that this film needed Nicholas Cage! That would have made this film even better.
It really is not that bad
amaranthaxx25 June 2020
I normally don't write reviews but some of these are just wildly off imo. It isn't that bad and it isn't that good. I personally gave it a 5/10 because I feel it's average and better than the many scifi/syfy made for tv shenanigans (and many straight to video releases too) over the years.
Was it great? Absolutely not. Kelsey Grammer's acting in particular was not good. It sounded like he was putting on a fake voice and it was very noticeable and awful. I felt Kellan Lutz and Bingbing Li were fine, decent even, as were most of the other cast. They were all passably fine, not spectacular and no one rose to the level of horrible of KG imo.
The plot was kind of silly and predictable but it's by no means the worst less than blockblocker/kinda middling/B rate sci-fi around, let's be real. It did get a little monotonous and slightly boring around the 60-70 minute mark for just a bit but it does pick back up toward the end. I do feel it could've done with better direction, and a bit more fleshed out story and some additional action within the palace/tomb itself, but the special effects were decent and the acting was okay.
Was it the best? Again, no. But it was a perfectly decent, higher B rate sci fi and by no means the worst of the genre. It doesn't deserve 1 Star ratings, imo, when even syfy channel productions don't get that. It's definitely a step above that. Think similar but better all around. For that reason, I don't think 1 Star reviews are fair. I think 4-6 is perfectly within reason for the genre. While other reviewers above and below that made fair criticisms and praises, I think the ratings were either too harsh or too much overall.
Be aware of what you're getting yourself into and don't expect the moon. Don't take it so seriously, y'all. If you like slightly bad sci-fi fare, you might actually enjoy it. I wouldn't rent it but I would give it a chance if you see it on or on demand. Ok? Ok.
Was it great? Absolutely not. Kelsey Grammer's acting in particular was not good. It sounded like he was putting on a fake voice and it was very noticeable and awful. I felt Kellan Lutz and Bingbing Li were fine, decent even, as were most of the other cast. They were all passably fine, not spectacular and no one rose to the level of horrible of KG imo.
The plot was kind of silly and predictable but it's by no means the worst less than blockblocker/kinda middling/B rate sci-fi around, let's be real. It did get a little monotonous and slightly boring around the 60-70 minute mark for just a bit but it does pick back up toward the end. I do feel it could've done with better direction, and a bit more fleshed out story and some additional action within the palace/tomb itself, but the special effects were decent and the acting was okay.
Was it the best? Again, no. But it was a perfectly decent, higher B rate sci fi and by no means the worst of the genre. It doesn't deserve 1 Star ratings, imo, when even syfy channel productions don't get that. It's definitely a step above that. Think similar but better all around. For that reason, I don't think 1 Star reviews are fair. I think 4-6 is perfectly within reason for the genre. While other reviewers above and below that made fair criticisms and praises, I think the ratings were either too harsh or too much overall.
Be aware of what you're getting yourself into and don't expect the moon. Don't take it so seriously, y'all. If you like slightly bad sci-fi fare, you might actually enjoy it. I wouldn't rent it but I would give it a chance if you see it on or on demand. Ok? Ok.
Just a laughing gas (old fashioned)
hare-krshn23 February 2018
After hearing this name of film that was introduced thru trailers.apple.com, i saw the trailer, and thought it is nice horror movie, after watching this full movie. This sounds to be more of year 1920 horror movie which doesnt make any sense. This all scene contains mix of more on all indiana jones episodes, pirates of Caribbean episodes, tomb raiders!
Looks that this was composed and written by something 4-10 yrs old with lollipop in the mouth., and oozing saliva coming out of mouth must have led to this film produced with lots of spider saliva followed by dried saliva spread all over...
Looks that this was composed and written by something 4-10 yrs old with lollipop in the mouth., and oozing saliva coming out of mouth must have led to this film produced with lots of spider saliva followed by dried saliva spread all over...
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