Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

Hugh Jackman: Logan, Wolverine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Deadpool : [excitedly]  Oh, my God. HE'S GONNA SAY IT!

  Logan : [confused]  Say what?

  Deadpool : AVENGERS ASSEM...

  Johnny Storm : FLAME ON!

  Deadpool : Sorry, what now?

• Logan : Mind putting your mask back on?

  Wade Wilson : Super hard to eat while I'm wearing it.

  Logan : It's super hard to eat when you're not.

• Logan : [to Wade]  You really are God's Perfect Idiot, aren't you?

• Wolverine : You know what? You're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you or the X-Men, and they'll take fucking anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved jabbering little prick in my entire life, and that says a lot because I've been alive for more than two hundred fucking years! And I'll tell you, that bald chick was right about one thing: you will never save the world. You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! Motherfucker, I wish I could say you'll die alone, but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die! Except that's on all of us! You got nothing to say, mouth?

  Deadpool : I'm gonna fight you now.

• Deadpool : Want to talk about what's haunting you, or should we wait for a third act flashback?

  Logan : Ah, go fuck yourself!

• Wade Wilson : I wear a toupee. But nobody knows.

  Logan : [laughs]  Everybody knows.

• [Logan dons his mask] 

  Deadpool : Holy shit. You save the good stuff for special occasions?

  Wolverine : Killing, mostly.

• Nicepool : I think I'm hit.

  Logan : No shit.

  [to Deadpool] 

  Logan : You did that on purpose.

  Deadpool : I did no such thing!

  [to Nicepool] 

  Deadpool : Listen to me, gorgeous. How long does it take for you to regenerate?

  Nicepool : [confused]  Regenerate?

• Wolverine : You'll screw it up.

  Deadpool : Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13-Except-The-Last-One!

• Logan : Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.

  Laura : You were always the wrong guy. Until you weren't.

• [repeated line] 

  Logan : Shut the fuck up.

• Deadpool : I'm about to lose everything that I've ever cared about.

  Logan : Not my fucking problem.

  [walks off] 

  Deadpool : Is that what you said when your world went to shit?

  Logan : Come again?

• [Deadpool rolls on Wolverine] 

  Deadpool : What'cha thinking about?

  Wolverine : Get the fuck off me.

  Deadpool : Shh! Shh! Almost done...

  Wolverine : Almost done what?

  Deadpool : Getting my knife out of your buttocks, you pervert! Get your mind out of my pants!

• Seedy Bartender : I told you, you're not welcome here. You're not welcome anywhere. Now get the fuck out of my bar.

  Logan : Just give me one more drink, and then I'll leave.

  Deadpool : Hi, Peanut. I'm gonna need you to come with me right now.

  Logan : Look, lady, I'm not interested.

  Deadpool : All right. Well, I'm sort of on the tick-tick, so upsy-daisy, here we go.

  [Deadpool lifts Logan off his stool] 

  Logan : Whoa! Hey, hey!

  [Logan draws his claws, but they move slowly] 

  Deadpool : Oh. Whiskey dick of the claws. It's quite common in Wolverines over 40.

  Logan : You don't want this.

  [Deadpool pulls out a pistol and points it at Logan's forehead] 

  Deadpool : Unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, I suggest you reconsider.

  [Logan laughs and places his forehead against the gun] 

• Cassandra Nova : Did Charles Xavier protect you? Did he make you feel safe?

  Logan : We're mutants. We're never safe.

• Deadpool : [beating Nicepool's lifeless body]  God damnit! I don't think he's gonna make it. But he died a hero.

  Wolverine : He died from murder, you dumb fuck!

  Deadpool : And all I have to remember him by are these two gold plated 50 Caliber Desert Eagle Pistoleros.

• [as Deadpool and Wolverine start to fight, they hear a cellphone ring] 

  Wolverine : [to the viewer]  Hey, bub! You're in a movie theater, not the ****ing-off room in your mom's nursing home! So, turn your phone to ****ing silent or I'll shove your phone so far up your *** you'll have to answer it through your ****ing ****!

  Deadpool : No no no no no! Easy now! So much testosterone! God, when you yell like that, it makes my **** vibrate.

  Deadpool : [to the viewer]  Listen... just, turn your phones off, or put them on silent, whatever you prefer. I'm gonna take his neck veins for a walk now. Enjoy the film.

  [Wolverine walks off, Deadpool follows him] 

  Deadpool : Nice fourth-wall break back there! I didn't think you had it in you!

  Wolverine : Shut your ****ing mouth!

  Deadpool : No no no no no, they do not like that word in America, or Canada, or the Netherlands...

• Deadpool : This is what I'm talking about: big slow-motion action sequence, who knows if you live or die? Let's fuckin' go!

  Wolverine : Let's fuck and go.

• Wolverine : One more word. Please. Give me one.

  Deadpool : Gubernatorial.

• Logan : Who's next?

• Logan : For the first time in my life, I am proud to wear this suit. It means I'm an X-Man. I am THE X-man.

• Deadpool : Fuck, this is gonna hurt.

  [Looks down at his guns, then looks over and sees two magazines of ammunition lying nearby] 

  Deadpool : Alright! Fuck it! Let's give the people what they came for.

  Wolverine : Let's fucking go!

  Deadpool : [looks at the camera]  It's gonna get good!

• Wolverine : You stupid piece of shit. You just got him fucking killed!

  Deadpool : Hey! We're all grieving!

  Deadpool : P.S. Do you know what he was doing to the budget?