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5/10
Being American is not a super power.
15 July 2003
No offense to Shane West, who played the part just fine. But the presence of Tom Sawyer in this movie exemplifies pretty much everything that is wrong with it. Alan Moore's story has been modified, the studio freely admits, to appeal to a broad (and American) audience. Not only are these changes annoying, but the idea that they would make the story more appealing to me is downright insulting.

It's 1899 - bear that in mind. The heroes of this story include a legendary hunter blessed by witch doctors, a vampire, a man made immortal by a magic painting, an invisible man, an engineering genius with futuristic technology and his own army, and a scientist who turns into a beast. And Tom Sawyer. Yes, they made him a secret agent. But come on, even Paul Bunyan would have made more sense.

Bunyan wouldn't have been able to create the same "youthful American" image however. That image is described by Connery's Quartermain as "fire enough bullets and maybe you'll hit something". But of course this style is redeemed, in a scene that begins with Sawyer saying "wanna go for a spin" and peeling out in a convertible. All right, it's Nemo's car. But still. I take it that was added for my benefit too.

The other problem, which also arises from adapting the movie to a blockbuster 110 min screenplay, is trying to make the audience know and care about all these characters. In that, the movie fails miserably, somehow managing to give both too much and too little information. During a voyage by submarine that plays about as excitingly as someone reading aloud footnotes from my old history textbook, we learn a little about the background of each character. This is of course necessary, and it's probably best that Norrington didn't spend a whole movie introducing them (a la X-Men: The First Movie). Still, there must be a better way to do it. Perhaps he should have excluded irrelevant little bits that couldn't really be follow through - like that Quartermain lost his son, or that Harker and Gray were lovers.

As a whole, however, the plot line is interesting enough and the special effects are excellent. The acting was also commendable - I particularly enjoyed Flemyng's portrayal of Dr. Jekyll. I also liked being introduced to Naseeruddin Shah as Captain Nemo since I don't watch Indian movies and haven't seen his handful of English work. I only wish they'd been given better dialogue to work with.

Overall I would say wait for this movie to come out on video or possibly on TV. It's the kind of thing you can watch while multitasking on a weekday night. If you don't pay too much attention to the details, you'll come away thinking it's an entertaining story with great characters in a twisty little plot.

Rating: 5/10
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6/10
Deserves a better pitch and a better rating
6 July 2003
The back cover for the DVD calls this movie "hilarious" and "the quintessential story of the go-for-it '80s." In truth, it is neither. The Bonfire of the Vanities is, however, funny in parts, poignant in parts, and entertaining throughout.

The protagonist is Sherman McCoy, a man whose one fatal flaw (an affair we know of from the beginning) leads to the downfall from his envious position as a "Master of the Universe." Tom Hanks gives an excellent performance and shows real emotion in bringing this highly plausible character to life. Unfortunately, his character is the only one with enough depth to be realistic. Even Morgan Freeman's Judge White, representing a refreshing dose of intelligence and honesty in the film, is perhaps too good to be believed. All of the other characters are mere caricatures, appearing too greedy, too pretentious, too self-absorbed, or too flighty to be believed. Bruce Willis might have made himself an exception as well, but I feel he simply lacked enough screen time to flesh out the different faces he had to show.

Nevertheless the story is very well told. If the other characters appear less than convincing, accept them as colorful background for McCoy, who is the real focus anyway. There are numerous laughs, and the other characters represent elements that are definitely present in society - even if not to the extent shown here. Wolfe's story is entertaining enough to make this movie worth seeing. And it might even make you think twice about the names you see next time you open a newspaper.

7 / 10 stars.
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Pulp Fiction (1994)
8/10
A must see - once
2 March 2003
I loved this movie on the first viewing. Laughed unbelievably hard. Repeated some of the cooler lines walking out. Told everyone up and down how great it was. Decided it was my favorite movie ever.

Then a few weeks later I went back to the theatre and saw it again. Not as impressive. Sure, it was still good, but not nearly *as* good. I rather regretted having seen it a second time - and that's not a feeling you want to have for your favorite movie.

As I've thought about this over the years, and seen it again with the same lacking amazement, I've theorized why it fell so quickly for me. A lot of the movie's appeal is shock value. The whole design is laid out so you can't see what's coming, and all the characters are created so you don't know what they'll do next. That's the amazing, entertaining thing about this movie. And it's what repeat viewers will miss.

I wish I could forget it all so I could experience this great film for the first time again, but I can't. However, if you've gotten through life so far without having seen this movie, you really owe it to yourself to go rent it. I only gave the movie an '8' here, but I truly think it's a '10' for a first-time viewer.
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Magnolia (1999)
What a waste of 3 hours
20 January 2001
The acting and cinematography in Magnolia are so great that we the audience can get to really know the characters P. T. Anderson presents to us.

It's just too bad I didn't care.

Yeah, this movie has a firm grasp of coincidence - the way Alanis Morissette has a firm grasp on irony. Movies like Pulp Fiction twisted together story lines to entertain, amuse, and captivate audiences. Movies like Magnolia twist together story lines to hide the fact that individually they're so incredibly boring.

I spent the first half of this movie wondering who among the news-conscious public wasn't already aware of these three famous stories, and the second half wondering why in the name of all that is Holy the producers of any show involving kids would be aired live in this day and age. And don't get me started on the frogs.

I'm of the opinion that in a lot of TV series, actors are unfairly credited for brilliant dialogue they merely had the good fortune of reading the lines. (Also with movies, like Something About Mary). Well, the acting profession returns the favor here. All the actors, big name or no, deserve the credit they get for their performances here. But nevertheless, I would not recommend this movie to *anyone*.
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2/10
You're looking at the wrong movie
20 January 2001
Go rent Virtuosity instead. Almost exactly the same plot, but presented with better acting and more plausibility.

There's no satire or political commentary in this movie - satirists need to understand their material. The "society" presented here is so implausible that it projects the current trends with all the deep comprehension of a third-grader. The producers are hoping no one will really think about the horrid dialogue, but some of us just can't help it. If you are incapable of shutting your brain completely down for an action flick like this, you'd have a much more enjoyable time looking at Virtuosity.
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