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Ratings
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Reviews
Fateful Findings (2013)
Okay, hear me out. I know everyone else here is meme-ing, but I'm being somewhat genuine.
This movie is a VERY enjoyable viewing experience. If you're ever in a bad mood, you can put this on and your day is, like, 15% better because this will be circling in and out of your head all day.
Objectively, it's very flawed and it probably doesn't have a single component that was done well throughout the entire runtime, but it's full of passion and it's never boring and it doesn't overstay its welcome. Compared to movies like The Gray Man or the David Harbour Hellboy movie or 2010: The Year We Made Contact, it is SO refreshing to see something made by someone who wanted to make it and that came out exactly as it was intended to. No studio meddling, no dragged out segments of time to fit an arbitrary runtime, and probably not too many second takes. It is, for lack of a better term, pure, unadulterated Breenius.
The Many Saints of Newark (2021)
As an outsider, I really liked it.
I've only seen the series premiere and I really liked this movie. Alessandro Nivola was great, Jon Bernthal was great, Vera Farmiga was great, and Michael Gandolfini was a definite highlight. I've seen his father in plenty and he perfectly captured his essence in a way nobody else could've (I've seen James Gandolfini in other things). I'm sure there's a lot that could've been better, and I plan on revisiting and revising this after I finish the show, but for now, it was really good.
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
Underwhelmed.
I wanted to love this, I did, I really did, but I just couldn't. Jimmy Stewart's dialogue is nearly unintelligible, with his performance being the same old Jimmy Stewart performance, Lee Marvin's performance felt almost amateur, John Wayne wasn't much better, and this movie just did nothing I felt was anything revolutionary. I really wanted to love this, I love old westerns, I love John Ford, I love Lee Marvin, I really like John Wayne, it had all the elements of a great film, it just didn't have that spark, you know? It wasn't bad, but I didn't really love it and if I didn't know how acclaimed it was, I'd never guess it was considered a classic.
Scenes from a Marriage (2021)
So far, so good.
2 episodes in, as of writing this, and it is quite promising. This varies enough from the original to not be lazy, while still being a respectful adaptation. This is probably Jessica Chastain's best work, she is amazing, and Oscar Isaac is just as great. This show really plays to their strengths and the actors have palpable chemistry. I can't wait to see more of this (I'll edit my review as this show goes on).
Respect (2021)
The definition of plain and by-the-numbers.
Stylistically, this does nothing to differentiate itself from Ray or Walk The Line or The Doors. The only thing this really has to offer is a good soundtrack (because it's Aretha Franklin. What do you expect?) and Jennifer Hudson, who's doing a good impersonation, but I don't feel she really added anything. Just last year, there was a TV miniseries called Genius: Aretha, where Cynthia Erivo played Aretha and she managed to do justice to the music while also kinda making it her own (plus, and this is entirely personal, I just love Cynthia's voice. I'd call her one of the best singers of the modern era). So not only does this film do nothing that hasn't been done before in other musicians' biopics, it fails to exceed what was already done just last year. Yes, I know Aretha herself wanted Jennifer to play her, but I personally wasn't blown away. See this if you want. If you're over the age of 57, you might enjoy this. If you're under the age of 57, you also might enjoy this. It's a fine movie, just a bit bland and uninspired.
The Green Mile (1999)
Best movie ever made (not a light statement, not an exaggeration)
Michael Clarke Duncan gives what I consider to be the best performance ever. He gives a performance so good that you'd swear he was the only person who even auditioned because he was absolutely perfect. Not only can I not think of anyone who could play John Coffey better, I can't think of anyone else who could play him at all. Duncan just owns this role. This is one of few films where if you dislike it, you are a sociopath. That's not up for debate. Either you love this film or you're a monster. Michael isn't the only good part of this film, he's just by far the best part, giving a once in a lifetime performance. Tom Hanks, Sam Rockwell, Harry Dean Stanton, James Cromwell, Doug Hutchison, and everyone else, all bringing their A game. If you haven't seen this movie, to say that I can't recommend it enough would be an understatement. You need to see this film. Despite the daunting runtime, it is a masterpiece on every conceivable level.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)
So much nostalgia.
This movie is stupid. It's meant to be stupid. As stupid movies go, there are certainly worse picks. If you ever need to kill 90 minutes and you have an odd urge to see a ninja robot kick an alien robot in the crotch, launching them into space, there's no better way to kill two birds with one stone.
F9 (2021)
These movies are fun trash. Either you accept that or you don't.
I knew what I was getting into with this. I knew it would be sillier and I've accepted, and grown to like what these movies have become. Charlize Theron was solid (and I'm convinced that she's incapable of giving a bad performance), Vin Diesel was Vin Diesel, everyone did exactly what you expect them to, Nathalie Emmanuel disappoints me with how she's stooped to this low, and the marketing disapponted me with how much of the action (and plot) they gave away.
On one hand, Cardi B got as much screen time as Jason Statham, which should never be a sentence I have to say. On the other hand, we got to see Jason Statham beat up some guy he trapped in a punching bag, so that makes it a little better.
I guess the moral of the story is that Jason Statham automatically makes anything he's in 10% better, even if it's only in the end credit scene.
Also, I personally liked that the Rock wasn't in this one. He gets to be almost insufferable over the span of a whole movie. He's not nearly as funny as he thinks he is, but since he is...well, the Rock, in both status and stature, nobody will tell him that.
iCarly (2007)
I loved this show when I was younger
When I was growing up, this show was my favorite. I'd watch it obsessively and I'm sure I've seen every episode at least twice. That being said, in light of Dan Schneider being who he is, this show is almost unwatchable. Whether it be Freddy putting ice on some sweaty guys stomach (who happens to physically resemble Schneider) or the seemingly infinite foot-centric jokes or whatever, it's just uncomfortable.
Fred: The Show (2012)
I never thought I'd say this, but I actually like this show.
This show is better than it has any right to be. Believe me, I was expecting to hate this. Fred 3: Camp Fred is probably the worst movie I've ever seen and I got no joy from it whatsoever. This show is very creative and it surprisingly works really well. I'd say that if you have nothing, and I mean NOTHING else to do, check this out. It's kinda fun.
Also, I want to remind you that the guy who directed the first Fred movie is named Clay Weiner. I think that that is just the funniest thing.
420 AWARDS: 3rd Annual Event (2021)
Derek, WHY?!?
I have one big question: since he didn't care about adding new categories, why didn't he make a category for best short film and give it to his short film "Cool Cat Fights C*****v****"? Unlike Gun Self Defense for Ladies, which he awarded himself for in the 2nd annual show, this would've been more timely.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
I like it a lot.
The only low star reviews (as of so far) have just said "it's not as good as WandaVision". I will definitely agree with that sentiment (seeing as I'm one of the few people that wasn't dissatisfied by anything in the finale, including "Ralph"), but this is still a pretty good show. WandaVision didn't ruin the MCU for me because nothing will surpass it, it reinvigorated my hope for the MCU because it showed me what it could be and this show follows suit. I realise that I shouldn't be rating the entire show so far, but I'll be sure to update this when more content comes in.
Da hong zha (2018)
Don't mistake this for a 1 star review. I'd give it -8 if I could.
Bruce Willis is bringing his A game, easily the best performance he's done in the past decade, but it's still TERRIBLE!!!!!!!! And why is Adrien Brody here? That just makes this worse. He holds the title for most punchable face in all of Hollywood, so imagine my sheer joy when he showed up.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Greatest ensemble cast of all time.
Everyone knocked it out of the park with every line they spoke. Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, literally everyone in the film, and especially Brad Dourif gave amazing performances, perhaps some of the best I've ever seen. If I could find the words, I could gush over this film for hours. Damn near perfection. It doesn't quite have that 10/10 magic for me, but it is great and I couldn't recommend it enough.
Boogie Nights (1997)
I rewatched this movie and really liked it.
I watched this the first time when I was 15. My dad had told me not to watch it until I was older, but my natural curiosity led me to watching it at midnight and being terrified the whole time that my TV would be too loud and he'd end up catching me and he'd kill me. My second viewing was much better. I will say at the very least, my father was correct to not let me watch this movie and I'm happy I didn't watch it *with* him (that would've been even more hellish than what I had to deal with my first time)
Death Note: Desu nôto (2006)
25 episodes of pure perfection
Stop watching after episode 25 and you have a perfect series. That's all I have to say. If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it.
Frozen (2010)
This movie is to ski lifts what Jaws is to the ocean
This movie was BAD!!! Watch YMS's review of it. He says it all better than I ever could.
The Dead Zone (1983)
Better than The Shining (yeah, I said it)
I'm comparing it to The Shining because they're both based on Stephen King books. The Shining is better from a technical standpoint, but this has more emotion to it. This is more compelling. Yes, Stanley Kubrick was a cinematic genius, but in the instance of the shining, which is still a great movie, there was nothing behind it. I guess the difference is truly in the performances. Shelley Duvall and the child didn't do great in that movie, which left Jack Nicholson to pick up the slack, which he did, but this movie is perfect all around. And that ending hit hard. I was in shock and in awe. Everyone did an amazing job and it showed.
Little Nicky (2000)
A very okay movie
I liked it just fine. It's not a classic and I have no desire to rewatch it, like, ever, but it was enjoyable enough.
Valley Girl (2020)
IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?!?!?!?
Why? Why does this exist? Valley Girl is a very 1980's movie. Everyone likes Valley Girl because it's very representative of the times. Nobody likes it because it's a timeless story, because it isn't. It's dated, but charmingly so. Why, oh why does this exist?
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
This movie was a headache and a half
If you liked this, more power to you, but I found this so annoying. I didn't *hate* this movie (mainly due to Diedrich Bader), but I wouldn't be upset if I never saw this movie again. I liked parts of it and it got a chuckle out of me every 15 minutes or so, but I personally feel like it's overhyped.
Superman (1978)
Just a classic.
This movie was truly breathtaking. I recently rewatched it and I'm amazed at how well it holds up. Every actor in this movie will forever be the definitive version of that character, Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman in particular. If you didn't like this, you're lying to yourself because you want to be edgy. Yes, this is silly and campy, but that's part of why
Batman (1966)
This is perfection...for what it is.
This isn't a masterpiece by any means. This isn't gonna be winning any Emmy's other than best comedy, but this is one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen. You'll NEVER be bored while watching this. If you hate this show, I think I finally found a good place to put the bomb.
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Very rarely has a movie made me laugh for days.
There were several jokes in this movie where they popped up in my head a few days after watching it and I burst into a fit of laughter. I'm sure the people around me thought I was deranged. Everyone did an amazing job. If you haven't seen it, what are you doing? Watch it. Easily one of Edgar Wright's best movies.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
So boring it hurts
UGH!!! I didn't believe when people said that this copy-pasted episode IV. They weren't kidding. I like Oscar Isaac and John Boyega (from other things. It felt like they were hardly in this) and I hope they end up doing more in this trilogy (I had to do digital gymnastics to avoid spoilers because I hadn't seen these until two hours ago). And that giant guy, Snoke, was also kinda cool. I hope he plays a role in the other movies.