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Eastern Promises (2007)
Impressive, with only a couple of weak points
When midwife Anna takes home the diary, written in Russian, of Tatiana, a teenage girl who died in childbirth, her Russian uncle Stepan initially refuses to translate it for no apparent reason. Stepan is portrayed as a tough character, yet he is unwilling to share with Anna the horrifying events described in the diary, even though they concern an unknown third party. This is the first weak point of the plot, compounded by the fact that Stepan changes his mind and translates the diary shortly afterward.
The second weak point occurs when Anna visits a restaurant connected to Tatiana and reveals to the owner that she has the deceased girl's diary. Why would she divulge such sensitive information to a potentially suspicious stranger? Obviously, without these plot devices, the story wouldn't progress, but they still weaken the narrative.
Semyon, the restaurant's owner, is a local Russian kingpin, working alongside his degenerate, drunkard son Kirill and a new, handsome, and mysterious "driver" Nikolai. A dark and depressing series of events unfolds as Anna tries to locate the baby's grandparents while Nikolai pursues his secret plan. In addition to psychological violence, a notable mention goes to the fight scene in the sauna, where a completely naked Nikolai overcomes two fully dressed and armed thugs. Even more impressive than Mortensen's sculpted body is the fact that throughout the scene, only brief glimpses of his nudity are shown, with no gratuitous display-a significant feat given the live-action setting.
The potential romantic tension between Nikolai and Anna is left underdeveloped, which is a good decision. A love story between the straight-laced midwife and the enigmatic driver would not be believable, but this subtle hint of affection adds a touch of softness to an otherwise very grim tale.
The Lost City (2022)
Formulaic but mildly entertaining
"The Lost City" is an OK movie that follows a very familiar formula, but sometimes you need a predictable adventure-comedy to pass the time. Sandra Bullock as Loretta delivers her usual charm, and while her chemistry with Channing Tatum is... serviceable, it's really the brief moments with Brad Pitt that sparkle.
Sadly, just when things start to get interesting, Pitt's role is cut short. If only the filmmakers had realized that the Bullock-Pitt duo had more sizzle, we might have had something a bit more memorable.
Another way to go was a straighter story, with less jokes, (never good ones anyway), and more thrills, such as "Romancing the Stone" a movie with perfect chemistry between the leads.
Instead we're left with Loretta wearing a grotesque and hideous sequins jumpsuit and stiletto heels for half of the running time, for no other reasons than showing her figure and some cheap laughters, not to mention her being tie locked to the chair (such fun, Loretta in the barrow 🙄).
Also not sure about Radcliffe as Abigail... he definitely was not menacing enough.
Clueless (1995)
Charming
"Clueless" is a minor gem of the '90s that effortlessly blends wit, charm, and a splash of fashion. Alicia Silverstone shines as Cher Horowitz, a wealthy Beverly Hills teenager navigating the ups and downs of high school life with style and heart. As everybody knows she's an updated version of "Emma" the Jane Austen heroine.
The film's clever script, and memorable characters would make it a timeless classic, if it wasn't for the fashion that is definitely dated, not to mention the technology (or lack thereof) but that's a minor inconvenience.
With its sharp humor and endearing storyline, "Clueless" is a delightful and refreshing take on adolescence that remains as entertaining today as it was when it first hit the screens. In fact, I appreciated it much more nowadays than when it first came out, maybe because there are so few feel-good comedies around.
Nebraska (2013)
Desolate
Interesting black and white photography for this movie, about cantankerous old Woody, a selfish man on the speedway to dementia, who believes to have won a million dollar prize and insists to go and collect it to Lincoln, Nebraska over 1000 km (for us Europeans) from his residence.
Woody, an alcoholic, was an average man without much affection for his wife Kate and his sons Ross and David. His wife despises him and Ross, the more successful son tries to convince David not to give in and drive underserving dad to Lincoln, but to no avail.
On the way, they stop on Woody's birth town, a small place in the middle of nowhere, where everybody starts to ask for a piece of the prize.
That's the weakest part of the plot, because David could have shown the letter to everyone to prove his dad didn't win anything, but he never does and there follows a series of grotesque events which gives a good idea of human nature, like the men incapable of verbal communication watching silently a sport match on TV and the women gossiping in the kitchen.
The story works as an intimate portrait of the miseries of life, but despite some moments of dark humour is a bit too dismal and Woody is definitely not a sympathetic character you want to spend almost two hours with.
Babylon (2022)
Boogie Nights meet Mulholland Drive meet The Exorcist
The main problem with Babylon is its bloated script and uneven pace. In a desperate bid to be inclusive and provocative, it assaults us with endless debauched party scenes featuring every sexual act and orientation, bodily fluids from all orifices, and even a pointless snake attack.
Amazingly, the movie manages to make an orgy boring and overlong, after its start in 1926, with an elephant dumping on a worker who bizarrely doesn't step aside. The 30-minute orgy that follows serves mainly to introduce the Nellie, Manny, and Jack characters in costumes that barely evoke the 1920s.
Next, we endure 40 minutes celebrating silent films, and another 30 detailing the painful transition to talkies in 1927. Unfortunately, after over 90 minutes, when many decent movies would wrap it up, we still have a long way to go. Suddenly, it's the early '30s: Manny fails to refine Nellie, Jack becomes obsolete, and we plunge into a criminal subplot with a terrible Maguire as a pervy mobster before the movie mercifully ends.
The pool scenes echo Boogie Nights, the criminal underbelly feels ripped from Mulholland Drive, and the vomiting is straight out of The Exorcist. Nellie is an aggressive, obnoxious drug addict, who looks like a 70s groupie, but without redeeming (or endearing) qualities. Robbie's beauty and talent can't save the character. Pitt's old glory Jack is slightly more poignant but still unlikable. Manny is too good to be true but he ticks the diversity box, just like the token Oriental and Afro-American characters.
Maybe you cannot unsee what you saw, but mercifully this can easily be forgotten as a movie without a soul.
A Family Affair (2024)
Unwatchable
More than in plastic surgeries (debated later) the real issue here lies in the movie's childish script, which somehow managed to convince a mature lead like Nicole Kidman to act like a teenager in a role that could only be described as a midlife crisis captured on film.
Kidman's character is painfully out of touch, behaving more like an overgrown adolescent than the accomplished actress she is. Watching her navigate this cinematic disaster is akin to witnessing a distinguished professor trying to engage in playground antics. Her daughter Zara, played to ear-splitting perfection by Joey King, alternates between whining and shouting, bringing the concept of spoiled brat to new heights.
Then there's Zac Efron, who seems completely out of his depth as the caricature of a Hollywood star. He tries to embody the role, but unfortunately, his efforts only highlight the film's many shortcomings. And let's not forget his latest look - Efron's transformation post-surgery leaves him resembling David Hasselhoff in his prime, which, while weirdly attractive, does nothing to bolster his performance.
The visual spectacle doesn't stop with Efron. Nicole Kidman's waxy visage and her peculiar, almost radioactive yellow hair color are a distraction. It's a pity that an artist of her caliber demeaned herself by taking on this role, especially when her appearance alone adds an unintended layer of absurdity to every scene she graces.
PS as a side note to the review titled "FYI", and the reason why Efron had his surgery, were you there to witness his accident? I hear so many people "justifying" a nose job claiming they broke it... And Kidman looks great for her age, but she certainly doesn't shine for the wisdom she should have achieved - why should eternal adolescence be pursued at all costs? By all means, show a love story between a 60 yo woman and a guy 20 years younger, but let her shine with a real face and real wrinkles...
Fight Club (1999)
Not a bang but a whimper
It's a challenge to say something new about a cult classic like "Fight Club," but here goes: after all these years, the story seems to have lost some of its punch. The film, which once felt groundbreaking and audacious, now reveals itself as inconsistent and repetitive.
Edward Norton plays the anonymous "Narrator," a man so revolted by consumerism that he channels his frustration into rage, because, you know, being male and self-centered, what else can he do? He starts attending support groups to vent his feelings, only to have his emotional outlet spoiled by the arrival of Marla, another "tourist" in the world of misery.
Then, during a business trip, he meets Tyler Durden, who has a "briefcase exactly like his" (wink, wink). They start a "fight club," where disaffected men gather to beat each other senseless. Sure, it's a healthier alternative to domestic violence, which remains inexplicably popular. After plenty of bruises and a descent into squalor, things escalate with Project Mayhem, a ludicrous plan to obliterate consumer society and return us to a prehistoric paradise, because life was just grand back then.
Norton's Narrator is suitably neurotic and deranged, while Brad Pitt's Tyler is the charismatic, nihilistic antihero we all secretly wish we could be (minus the nihilism and the fighting, of course).
That's the gist, delivered with exceptional visual flair and style. I loved the film on my first watch, but subsequent viewings made me realize how underdeveloped and catty the Marla character is (with Helena Bonham Carter being completely miscast) and how absolutely impossible some scenes are (Tyler extracting the Narrator from the car? WTF). Also, it seems this was the peak of David Fincher's career, which has been on a steady decline since. Similarly, Chuck Palahniuk found his niche audience but never quite hit the mainstream jackpot again.
Instead of a bang, it's seems that for Fincher and Palahniuk it's a slow and endless whimper.
Queen of the Desert (2015)
Vapid
Werner Herzog's attempt to create an epic biopic with "Queen of the Desert" falls short, even with Nicole Kidman in the lead role, which BTW, at 46 was way kind of oldish to play a character that is supposed to be 21 at the start of the film... The film, intended to be a female counterpart to "Lawrence of Arabia," struggles with a lack of focus and tries to cover too many aspects of Gertrude Bell's life. Bell, described as a "traveler, writer, archaeologist, explorer, cartographer, and political attaché," would have been better served by a narrative concentrating on just a few of her pursuits, rather than attempting to encompass them all within the film's two-hour-plus runtime. Naomi Watts was initially slated to play Bell, and I believe she might have delivered a more compelling performance than Kidman.
The story begins around the start of World War I and then inexplicably jumps back in time, wasting much of the initial runtime establishing Bell as the stereotypical "fiercely independent" heroine before relocating her from England to the Tehran embassy. There, she meets Henry Cadogan, portrayed by James Franco with charm, yet their love story fails to convey the intended sense of tragedy, maybe because playing virginal at her age and being believable required quite a strain on Kidman.
After another time jump, Bell is back in the Middle East, engaging in exploration and various activities, only to become briefly involved with the married consul of Damascus. She then embarks on a lengthy desert exploration, encountering Lawrence and several local tribes. Robert Pattinson as Lawrence is notably miscast; he appears more like an actor in an ill-fitting Halloween costume, despite receiving praise for his performance. However, his role is secondary.
Following the tragic end of another love affair, Bell turns to her diplomatic career, contributing to the creation of "modern" Middle Eastern states by placing wealthy royal families in power-mirroring Western practices but presented as a significant improvement. The notion that the wealthy dominate both East and West is evident, yet the film concludes with Bell fading into the desert, ending two rather forgettable hours. While not inherently bad, "Queen of the Desert" is ultimately an easily forgettable film.
Bande à part (1964)
Kind of outdated
"Bande à part" by Jean-Luc Godard is a film that I found both intriguing and somewhat outdated, with the role of Odile feeling particularly old-fashioned. Godard's movies are an acquired taste, appealing more to cinephiles than to the general public. I've watched three of his most famous films: "Breathless," "Alphaville," and "Bande à part." I prefer the first two because "Breathless" is a groundbreaking piece of cinema, and "Alphaville" is uniquely experimental. "Bande à part," however, feels like a hybrid between experimental and mainstream, and the mix doesn't quite work.
The beautiful Anna Karina plays Odile, a naïve girl employed by her aunt Victoria. Victoria lives in an almost empty house with a suspicious boarder who hides a lot of cash in his wardrobe. Odile tells her classmate Franz (Sami Frey) about the money, and Franz involves his "friend" Arthur (Claude Brasseur) in a plan to steal it. The plot already falls apart here, because Franz could have easily gone to Odile's house to grab some of the cash carelessly lying around or just asked Odile to take it. Arthur's involvement seems absurd, as does the entire "plan," which is a muddled affair concocted by three scatterbrained youths.
With the adage that it only takes a girl and a gun to make a movie, we get the girl and several guns, plus a bizarre love triangle. Franz is infatuated with Odile, who falls in love at first sight with the uncouth Arthur. It may seem like the movie has a plot, but the story is told in a disjointed sequence: some scenes are too long, some are hurried, and the pacing is inconsistent. The dialogue borders on absurd and outdated, with Odile portrayed as little more than a sex object, and the boys treating her as such. While this might reflect societal norms of 60 years ago, it doesn't help that Karina, 24 at the time, plays Odile with a childishness that is more off-putting than enticing, and even if very young, she's just not believable as a 16 years old or whereabouts.
The background noise in certain scenes, particularly the bar scene, reaches peak levels until the famous "minute of silence," which is much needed. The equally famous Madison dance and the quick tour of the Louvre in nine minutes are the three pivotal moments of a film that feels much longer than its 1 hour and 30-minute runtime due to its dragging pace.
L'Affaire Bettencourt: Scandale chez la femme la plus riche du monde (2023)
First world problems or "Those at the top also have their sorrows"
Sometimes, it feels oddly satisfying to watch a documentary about a subject completely disconnected from one's life. Case in point: a three-part documentary about Liliane Bettencourt, the world's richest woman - a topic I clearly know nothing about. Liliane Bettencourt, heiress to L'Oréal thanks to her Nazi-collaborator father, seemed to have led a pretty uneventful life - by billionaire standards - until 1987. That's when she met socialite photographer Banier, a fishy character if ever there was one. Banier, 25 years her junior, became her constant companion and the object of her lavish generosity, receiving over a billion euros worth of "gifts" during their "friendship."
This understandably annoyed Liliane's only daughter, Françoise, with whom she always had a strained relationship. To make matters worse, Bettencourt's large and handsomely rewarded entourage began to nourish an increasing antipathy against Banier, eventually leading to a major corruption scandal involving illegal financing of Sarkozy's campaign and tax fraud.
From an outsider's perspective, it looks like Banier was very successful in taking advantage of an elderly, lonely lady whose mental faculties were on the wane. Despite Françoise's legal actions, her only success was getting Banier out of the will, even though her mother wanted to make him her sole heir. Notably, Banier had pulled the same trick in his youth with another elderly lady, compounding his felonious streak.
During a rather sad interview - sad because of Bettencourt's clearly declining physical and mental conditions - when asked if she regretted being too generous with Banier, she proudly replied something like "There's no such thing as being too generous, therefore no regrets". However, one thing is being generous to everybody around you, and another covering in gold one single person who had a habit of making friends with elderly billionaires developing dementia, certainly not with elderly ladies in retirement homes.
On a side note, judging by the appearances of Liliane and her daughter, it doesn't seem like L'Oréal cosmetics are particularly effective. Françoise, having inherited her mother's fortune in 2017 and now being the richest woman in the world, clearly can't even be bothered to get a decent haircut. But who would care about haircuts and cosmetics when you own an island in Seychelles, apartments in Dubai, and everything else to soothe the pain of a mother who loved a swindler more than you?
Domicile conjugal (1970)
Antoine's growing pains
Much as I appreciate a few of Truffaut's films, especially The 400 Blows, I find most of his movies to lack a proper script and convey a sense of vagueness that can be downright annoying. Bed & Board, another chapter in the Antoine Doinel saga, is particularly underwhelming. Antoine is no longer the charming, troubled child from The 400 Blows, and the script lags terribly. In the first 20 minutes, the scene never leaves the courtyard of the apartment building where Antoine lives with his attractive wife Christine. Various minor characters chat about nothing, and the most exciting event is Antoine and Christine going to dinner at her parents' house. Riveting, isn't it?
Some might argue that this is a character-driven story. But even if that's the case, the character of Antoine is merely a projection of Truffaut himself, a serial philanderer with a penchant for countless affairs. Antoine eventually lands a job with an American company and predictably flirts with a Japanese customer, who soon becomes his lover. Yet, Antoine is bored with married life and equally bored with his gorgeous Japanese mistress. The realization that they have nothing to say to each other comes as no surprise.
Antoine continues meeting Christine to see their son, named Alphonse because Antoine whimsically decided it was a good name, despite Christine's dislike for it. Their quarrels are childish, but they are allegedly still "in love," whatever that means. The epilogue is rather disheartening. After a brief fling with a prostitute and a disastrous dinner with the Japanese mistress, Antoine and Christine reunite, only to end up like their neighbors, with the husband throwing the wife's coat and bag down the stairs because she takes too long to get ready when they need to go out.
The pace of the movie is uneven, with nothing happening for most of the film and the ending feeling rushed. None of the characters, aside from Antoine, are developed, and many scenes are sketchy, like the mysterious actor, the guy who constantly asks Antoine for money and even a cameo of Mr. Hulot catching a train (!) Technically, the movie is also underwhelming, with a bizarre scene where Antoine and Christine talk to each other from separate rooms while the camera inexplicably pans to a window.
Not Truffaut's best. Underwhelming and dated.
Red Eye (2005)
When McAdams was the IT girl
Remember when Rachel McAdams was Hollywood's darling, before Emma Stone swooped in and stole the spotlight? Well, in "Red Eye," McAdams is Lisa, a super-efficient hotel manager with a dark secret, who happens to meet a handsome yet incredibly creepy stranger on her flight back to Miami. Enter Cillian Murphy, who's still light-years away from his Oppenheimer fame, playing Jack-a stranger with secrets even darker than Lisa's.
Their flight from Dallas to Miami gets delayed, because of bad weather, and when they finally board, they end up sitting next to each other. Because why not?
Cue a convoluted assassination plot that's so elaborate, you wonder if the writers were competing in a "Most Complicated Plan" contest. Lisa tries to resist and save her father, all while Jack becomes progressively more violent and creepy. The first part of the movie actually works, despite the absurd premise. But then, the plane lands in Miami, and suddenly Lisa morphs into a superheroine, while Jack turns into the stereotypical crazy villain we've seen in too many horror films.
It's a decent watch almost until the end. McAdams and Murphy deliver convincing performances, leaving you to ponder why McAdams didn't ascend to the same career heights as Stone. Maybe she missed a few flights?
Labyrinth (1986)
From glam to goblins
"Labyrinth" has somehow garnered a cult following, but I can't fathom why. The plot, if you can call it that, meanders aimlessly. David Bowie prances around in costumes that would make a circus clown blush, looking more like a lost glam rocker than a menacing Goblin King.
The music? Let's just say if you enjoy auditory torture, you're in for a treat. And then there are the puppets - creepy, irritating, and just plain nightmare-inducing. If you have a fondness for chaotic storytelling, laughable wardrobe choices, and puppetry gone wrong, then by all means, dive in.
For everyone else, if you're a Bowie fan, this is 102 minutes better spent watching "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence" or even the risible" Just a Gigolo", another movie out there to prove Bowie - albeit the king of rock - was not such a great actor, but at least eye candy when not wearing dreadful costumes.
The Lady in the Van (2015)
Vile
There's no lady in this movie, just a dilapidated van and Miss Shepherd, an unpleasant homeless woman who haunts Camden, sleeping in that rust bucket. Her presence is an inconvenience for the neighborhood, but playwright Alan, who's just moved in, minds less than his neighbors and eventually lets Shepherd park in his driveway for fifteen glorious years...
Allegedly based on a true story, absolutely nothing more than the above happens in this tedious, unpleasant movie. I found it vile, and not because the two main characters are on the older side, and not even because it's a slow movie. There are plenty of slow movies I like, such as Perfect Days, and movies about the elderly that are masterpieces, like Umberto D. By De Sica, but this one? I can't even fathom how it managed to get made.
My only star goes to Maggie Smith, who can navigate her way from aristocratic dame to seriously disturbed pauper, but her character is the epitome of revolting, vile, and annoying. Jennings as Alan is flatlining as the tedious playwright. Truly, a masterpiece of making you wish you'd spent your time watching grass grow instead.
Vanity Fair (2004)
A virtual shopping experience
I didn't read the novel, so I don't have the same venomous reaction as those who did. Yet, I still found this movie less than impressive, mostly because Reese Witherspoon was woefully miscast as Becky Sharp. I guess she was supposed to lure American audiences to the theater, but surprise, surprise - it didn't work. Witherspoon, more suited for comedic roles, seemed completely out of her depth trying to portray a cunning, shallow, and selfish character. Instead, she just acted flirty and made far too many grimaces.
It probably didn't help that the script seemed eager to forgive most of Becky's sins, painting her in the best possible light for an amoral social climber. This excessive focus on Becky meant that all the other characters were reduced to mere background noise. Amelia, the shy, spineless girl blinded by her love for the undeserving George; Becky's suitors; the nasty Marquess of Steyne; Joseph Sedley; the Crawley family; Becky's ill-fated husband Rawdon - they were all given so little attention that they might as well have been extras.
And because the plot wasn't already convoluted enough, the movie throws in several song and dance scenes, seemingly just to give Ms. Witherspoon more screen time. Clearly, everyone involved in the production understood she was the sole star of the show. The only memorable aspects for me were the costumes. I wouldn't mind owning some of those gorgeous shawls, scarves, and jewels. But when a movie makes you daydream about shopping rather than its storyline, it's definitely not a good sign.
Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
Imperfect movie I like
I remember watching Fahrenheit 451 on TV many years ago and being deeply moved by the poetic final scene of the Book People, reciting their books in the snow. As an avid reader, the idea of a future where reading is forbidden was terrifying. Fast forward to today, and I'm living in a world where it's unnecessary to forbid reading because people are too busy following influencers and keeping up with their social media feeds. Who needs censorship when apathy does the job so efficiently?
I haven't read the Ray Bradbury book, and most of the negative reviews seem to be from angry readers who disapprove of the changes from the novel. While I can understand the frustration of seeing a beloved book distorted for the screen, I believe the film should be appreciated as an independent piece of media. And let's be honest, Truffaut's movies often lack structure and decent endings. Yet, I have a soft spot for Fahrenheit 451, despite its glacial pace, bad acting, and terrible props.
Oscar Werner plays Montag, a fireman who burns books, and his dispassionate delivery fits perfectly into the dystopian world he inhabits. These people don't want to face their emotions; they are cold and subdued. Montag is the epitome of a cold fish, and so is his wife, Linda. However, trouble is brewing beneath the surface, as evidenced by Linda popping pills and being addicted to her "TV family." On his way to a promotion, Montag is befriended by a warm-hearted girl named Clarisse.
Truffaut gave both Clarisse and Linda's roles to Julie Christie, possibly because he just wanted to have the beautiful actress around as much as possible. Reviews are split 50/50 between those who think Christie did a good job and those who don't. I belong to the latter group because both characters seem to have the same flat personality, just with different hairstyles. Nevertheless, Clarisse manages suspiciously fast to convert Montag to reading, with all the inevitable trouble that follows.
The settings are minimalist, including the use of a prototype monorail that was subsequently dismantled. All the interiors look very 60s rather than futuristic. In Montag's apartment, the only hint of modernity is a large TV screen that nowadays is totally inconspicuous, but the effect is offset by a dial telephone from the 20s and ancient furniture. The costumes are equally unremarkable, but Bernard Herrmann's score elevates the material, giving it a distinctive Hitchcock flavor.
On the whole, even if I'm in the minority here, I still appreciate this movie. Its stance on history is completely wrong, though, because habits (and beliefs) die out when they're replaced by other ones, not when someone tries to eradicate them with violence. But hey, who cares about accuracy when you've got a dystopian world with bad props and a haunting soundtrack?
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
Otherworldly beautiful girls
The plot of "Picnic at Hanging Rock" is minimalist: a group of Australian girls from Appleyard College go for a picnic to the eerily-named Hanging Rock on Valentine's Day, and some of them mysteriously vanish. However, this is a movie that thrives on atmosphere and the eerie feelings it evokes, more than on a fast-paced, rational plot. The film opens with ethereal images of angelic girls, with long flowing hair, all dressed in white, exchanging Valentine's cards and dreaming of love. Two of them stand out as more serious, the beautiful Miranda and her orphan friend Sarah, who might have a crush on Miranda.
Sarah is a "difficult" girl and is punished by the stern Mrs. Appleyard, who forbids her from going to the picnic. While Sarah sulks, the other girls, including Marion, Irma, and Edith, along with their chaperons, teachers Miss McCraw and Mlle. De Poitiers, leave for the rock. What follows is one of the most beautifully haunting sequences ever captured on screen. Miranda and three other girls decide to climb the rock, and their ascent takes on an increasingly surreal quality. Allowed to remove only their gloves at first, they slowly begin to disrobe on the way up, shedding their stockings and shoes, and ascending further, looking increasingly otherworldly. The less ethereal of them, the stocky Edith, is left behind.
From the dream-like sequence, scored by an equally haunting flute soundtrack, the plot takes a more "realistic" turn when the group returns to the College late at night with hysterical girls and only Mlle. De Poitiers to guide them back, as Miss McCraw has also disappeared. Search parties are organized to find the missing women, but only the solitary exploration of young Michael, an English boy picnicking at the rock with his uncle, proves partially successful, leading to the discovery of an amnesiac Irma.
Set in 1900, but with a distinct mid-70s aesthetic reflective of when the movie was made, the film reminded me of Sarah Moon's photography, all soft focus and mysterious. For years, audiences were led to believe this was based on "real events," but it's pure fiction. There is a definite undercurrent of sexuality, but as another reviewer aptly noted, it's more dreamy, self-contained, and content pre-sexuality rather than repressed sexuality, akin to but less tragic than what is depicted in "The Virgin Suicides." Like that film, "Picnic at Hanging Rock" is definitely not for the general public.
This movie left a lasting impression on me, especially when I believed the story was real. It might enchant you with its atmospheric beauty or bore you to death, but it is undeniably a hauntingly unforgettable cinematic experience.
Northanger Abbey (2007)
Interesting take on one of Austen's lesser known novels
Decent TV movie adaptation of one of Austen's lesser-known works, which I didn't know as well as her more famous novels, but ended up quite liking. The main character is the naive heroine Catherine, who's sent to spend some time in Bath with family friends and has a vivid imagination fueled by her love of gothic novels. In Bath, she meets an interesting guy, Mr. Tilney, with a rather mysterious past, and befriends her brother's fiancée, the not-so-sincere Isabella, who's on the hunt for a good marriage.
Complications and misunderstandings ensue, involving Isabella's brother and Mr. Tilney's father.
A very young Felicity Jones and Carey Mulligan play Catherine and Isabella, respectively, though I would have preferred them in reverse roles. Still, they manage to do a good job.
Mean Girls (2004)
Good bad girl
The funny thing about this movie is that the notorious Lindsay Lohan plays Cady, a "good girl," only momentarily derailed by bad company. Or maybe it's not so funny, considering how Lohan ended up, hopefully on the road to recovery by now.
The movie itself is a farce on what must be the hellish environment of American high schools. Cady is the new girl at school after having been homeschooled in Africa by her well-meaning parents. She's pretty, and therefore immediately drawn into the "plastic" clique of mean Regina, a girl who has a bad word for everybody. She's also tasked with spying on Regina's gang by her other friends, Janis and Damian.
What follows is a series of puerile situations, like "You cannot wear skirts on Friday" and "You must wear pink on Monday." Regina's ex-boyfriend is off-limits, but obviously Cady falls for him. This leads to the usual ballroom scenario where all issues come to light and public confessions ensue, just like in a billion other American comedies.
Seen from a temporal and physical distance by someone older and not American, Cady and her friends are almost like aliens. However, one cannot help but feel sorry for the sad state of society, the tribal rituals of young people and the degeneration of human relationships, even if there are a few funny situations.
Thanks for Sharing (2012)
Good cast and plot
I have a soft spot for Mark Ruffalo, and in "Thanks for Sharing," he delivers another compelling performance as Adam, a deceptively charming sex addict who's been clean for five years. When he meets the attractive Phoebe (Gwyneth Paltrow), he's reluctant to start a relationship, but his sponsor Mike encourages him, saying it's time.
The third main character is Neil, an ER doctor with "frottage" issues, a childish personality, and a generally annoying demeanor with his misguided attempts at humor.
Adam tries to steer Neil in the right direction but starts to have problems of his own managing his relationship with Phoebe, who's not too keen on addicts. Mike cannot support Adam, as he has family problems of his own.
Adam's descent back into addiction reveals the dark side of his personality, with the kind of obsessive, lewd behavior explored more deeply in the movie "Shame." Once Adam is back in familiar addict territory, he has no choice but to end his relationship and start counting days again. Meanwhile, the future looks slightly brighter for Neil and Mike.
The film features a solid script, with scenes that make sense and move the plot ahead. It's not a "romantic comedy", even if there's a budding romance, but nipped in the bud It's more a study of addiction with slightly less dark undertones than "Shame", showing that sex-addiction is not just an excuse for cheaters, but a corrosive, demeaning obsession.
Third Person (2013)
All convoluted style, no substance
I watched "Third Person" only because it starred Neeson and James Franco, and their performances are the only things worth saving in this convoluted mess, hence the two stars.
Neeson plays Michael, an allegedly Pulitzer Prize-winning writer running out of ideas and shamelessly mining his personal tragedies for inspiration. He's holed up in a luxury Paris hotel room when his mistress, Anna, played by Olivia Wilde, comes barging in. Wilde's interpretation is borderline hysterical. Her Anna is an obnoxious, angry, aggressive "girl boss," whose razor-sharp features and pasty complexion make her further unappealing. I couldn't fathom why Michael would debase himself for such a character who perfectly fits the description of a word that starts with B and rhymes with "glitch."
It doesn't help that the other two female characters in the movie are equally B-"glitches." First, there's Monika, a repulsive swindler and low-life who tries to squeeze as much money as possible from the hapless American, Scott (Brody), allegedly to "buy back" her daughter from some kidnappers. This part of the story takes place in Rome and is downright racist. Being Italian myself, I found the portrayal of all Italian characters as despicable against the foreign, possibly illegal immigrant Monika quite cliché. Not to mention Scott's hatred for everything Italian and his expectation that everybody in Italy should speak English.
The third part of the story, set in New York, revolves around the ditzy Julia, a mother who puts her son in a plastic bag to teach him how dangerous it can be (???). The boy's father (Franco) is understandably concerned, but we are supposed to sympathize with Julia because she "loves her son very much," even if she's completely incapable of getting her act together.
Unfortunately, two of my favorite actresses, Maria Bello and Kim Basinger, are wasted in secondary roles. Bello plays the fictional stand-in for the Basinger's character, Michael's real ex-wife.
Brace yourself for an unbearable score and a fake sentimental streak about children, or, even better, avoid this movie at all costs.
The Fugitive (1993)
Breathless
Once upon a time, movies had plots that made sense and scripts that carried the main ideas seamlessly. The Fugitive has stood the test of time, with Harrison Ford in top form as Dr. Richard Kimble, an innocent man on the run trying to prove his innocence while all of Chicago law enforcement is hot on his trail. Tommy Lee Jones, as the head detective leading the manhunt, deservedly won an Oscar for his role-yes, for once, they got it right. His team is both entertaining and essential to the plot.
The Fugitive is an enjoyable ride with a mild twist ending that you might see coming, but the movie isn't about shocking the audience with cheap thrills. Instead, it aims to keep viewers entertained for a couple of hours, and it succeeds admirably.
The Mexican (2001)
Bland
Despite the star power of A-listers like Pitt, Roberts, and Gandolfini, my expectations for The Mexican were low, and rightly so, as I discovered when I finally saw it on TV. The movie's low rating is well-deserved. The main problem is that it tries to be too many things and fails at all of them. It's neither funny, thrilling, nor epic.
Pitt, with his usual flair, plays the hapless Jerry, who's been coerced by a mob boss into running dirty errands for five years to repay a debt. In his "last mission" (because that cliche never gets old), Jerry is tasked with retrieving a pistol named "The Mexican," while his girlfriend, Sam, is against him taking on this final job.
Jerry ends up in Mexico on a wild goose chase for the titular pistol, while Sam is kidnapped by gay hitman Leroy (Gandolfini). The part with Jerry is mildly watchable, also thanks to the charming dog that temporarily becomes his companion. However, the Roberts-Gandolfini subplot is excruciatingly annoying. Leroy offers the shrill Sam advice about her love life and he even manages to fall for a guy he meets in a bar. This tedious subplot changes the movie's tone, not in a good way. Plus, it's pretty irrelevant to the main plot, just like the inevitable cackle Roberts delivers in every movie she stars in.
I'm not a fan of Roberts, and her character is hysterically insufferable. Gandolfini, sadly, is miscast. Pitt is his usual likable self, but this is far from his best work. Watch at your own risk, knowing you'll probably find it boring and/or annoying.
The Lobster (2015)
The joke is on the audience
A so-called artist tapes a banana to the wall and dubs it "a commentary on the commodification of art." The public applauds. This movie is the cinematic equivalent of that banana. The plot, if you can call it that, follows the hapless David in a world where coupling is mandatory and single people are "rebels." And if you don't find a partner within 45 days, you turn into an animal of your choice-a flimsy excuse to showcase some debasing cruelty to animals.
I endured this atrocity because a friend's daughter, in a misguided attempt at cultural sophistication, labeled it a "good" movie. Proving, of course, that neither has any taste. I had to stick it out until the end, though I lost interest fast. I was so spaced-out, I forgot how it ended and had to read the plot online because it left zero impression. I probably deleted it from my memory due to its disturbing, violent, and demeaning scenes of various types.
I swore off any future movies by Yogurt Latopa (yes, I know this is not his "real name", I'm kidding), the Greek filmmaker who's replaced Von Trier in the hearts of those who enjoy being shocked and distressed, leaving the cinema feeling empty and desperate. I'm Italian, so we're "One face, one race" with the Greeks, as noted in the Oscar-winning movie "Mediterraneo" and I'm sure Yogurt won't mind my mild sarcasm.
Also sure that Hollywood will keep glorifying his brand of sadistic, hopeless, cynical cinema until the next replacement director in the field of doom, despair, and misery comes along.
Fatal Attraction (1987)
Beware of the lover
The plot of Fatal Attraction is well known and supposedly, when the movie was released, it terrified married men to the extent that it reduced adultery rates, or so the story goes. I find that mildly amusing and hard to verify.
What is more interesting is the character of Alex, portrayed skillfully by Glenn Close. The fact that Close didn't have the typical physique to play a "femme fatale" makes her role even more compelling, demonstrating the unpredictability of attraction. Her Alex is only mildly attractive but exudes a wild, deranged sexuality. Her frizzy hair, lack of eyebrows, and pale mouth didn't enhance her appearance, but Alex compensated with aggressive outfits and a matching attitude.
Some have tried to frame her as a feminist icon, but Alex is just a deranged, damaged criminal. At the start of the movie, it's clear that she's leading Dan where she wants him. During their dinner, Dan says, "This will end the way you want it," indicating that the idea was a no-strings-attached one-night stand between consenting adults, especially since Alex knew Dan was married.
They spend another day together because Alex insists, but Dan never gives the impression that he is in love with her or anything more than temporarily interested.
What is bizarre is Alex's change of behavior when Dan shows no further interest. From an independent professional, Alex transforms into a clingy, begging mess of a woman, which is explained vaguely, if at all.
While Dan's infidelity is not justified, I think he receives a punishment far harsher than he deserves. It's not true that he "used" Alex, who was more than willing to be used (as seen in the elevator scene). Moreover, falling out of love-or in this case, out of lust-is not a crime.
Alex turns into a violently aggressive psycho, and if the genders were reversed, everyone would side with the married person. Imagine a man harassing a former female lover with nonstop phone calls, destroying her car, and kidnapping her child. Everyone would scream "Stalker!" So why is Alex seen as a "feminist" and not a criminal?
All the lead actors were excellent, including Douglas, Archer, and Latzen, who played one of the few genuinely cute kids I've seen on screen. It's a pity about the over-the-top ending.