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brandonkruse
Reviews
Benedetta (2021)
Who says the nunsploitation genre has died out?
What former Robocop director (which is really funny to me) Paul Verhoeven has made here is essentially a nunsploitation movie. I know it wasn't supposed to be, but that is honestly what I thought of it. You cannot convince me otherwise. If you don't believe me, heres the most basic description of the movie I can offer: a nun sees visions from the Lord that are on like a 'Last Temptation of Christ' level of heretical, and then proceeds to begin a very sexually charged affair with another young girl. I'm pretty sure there are like 6 different movies out there that came out between the years of 1971 and 1976, all with the same exact plot, just done a whole lot worse. I feel like this is a covert attempt at a genre revival by Paul Verhoeven, and to be honest, this is one film subgenre that we can let die out.
This movie is a perfect example of how directors now are no better than ones from the past. The world of film rarely changes, and movies like this are living proof of that.
Home Sweet Home Alone (2021)
The true essence of the Disney+
The humor and references are about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the forehead, the family dynamics are confusing and wholly unrealistic, and the movie is about 25 minutes too short. By those standards, this is your average Disney+ original movie. I don't really see what you were all expecting with this. It was never going to be the next Paddington 2, but by Disney+ standards it's actually pretty good.
God's Not Dead: We the People (2021)
Why does this even exist?
The genre of this movie can be most accurately described as somewhere between dystopian and propaganda. The persecution complex is on full display, as is par for the course for the series. Essentially, this film is a scheme to generate as much money as possible by slapping the name of a franchise on a nearly unrelated film (which is hilarious, because do the filmmakers seriously think that this movie is gonna make any money?) This movie is just barely, and I mean only the slightest bit about Christianity. On the whole, the franchise should've just stopped with one movie.
Jason X (2001)
Avoid at all costs
Apparently canon doesn't matter in the Friday the 13th series. It's not like it mattered before, but come ON. Jason, in SPACE? When he clearly got dragged to literal hell in the previous movie? What happened in those 450 years between the last 2 movies? Anyways, this movie just barely straddles the line between so-bad-its-good and just plain old bad. I mean, it's campy in some places, but the continuity mistakes, as well as nearly everything else about this movie, are unforgivable. Also, WHY IS JASON IN OUTER SPACE?
Grave (2016)
We need to stop the french.
Seriously, how have the french been getting away with this?
If a French person makes a movie filled with sex, drugs, and actual cannibalism, it gets called art. If an American makes the same thing it's called exploitation. Just because of the differences in the cinematography. This is some type of cinematic discrimination.
Music (2021)
At least the songs were fine I guess.
Wow. Whoever taught Maddie Ziegler how to act as though she is autistic deserves a pay cut (seriously, she looks like a middle school boy trying to make his friends laugh during math class). The music was great though (which begs the question of why Sia had to attach a movie to it). I feel as though in the coming years this movie will turn into something akin to "The Room". Alas, because of the presiding, yet absolutely baffling fact that this movie was nominated for 2 DIFFERENT GOLDEN GLOBES (Hey, you still think 2020 wasn't that bad a year for movies?) this feeling is more of a wish than a premonition. Only time will tell.
Malignant (2021)
The most bizarre 80s-style horror movie in recent history.
Essentially a suped-up remake of the 1982 low-budget horror film "Basket Case", Malignant is easily one of the best horror movies of the year. Basically, think of your favorite low-budget 80s horror movie. Now imagine it being remade with better special effects, awesome cinematography, and believable characters. What you have is Malignant. Visually stunning with incredibly original special effects and cinematography. The story has a few holes, but that can be overlooked due to its sheer weirdness. James Wan has finally returned home.
Night of the Demons 2 (1994)
Seriously, how have I not heard of this bizarre masterpiece?
Gratuitous, hilarious, and, most of all, bizarre (seriously, this movie has a nun fighting possessed teenagers with rosary beads, a ruler, and holy water-filled super-soakers), the least I can say is that this movie took me by surprise. Visually speaking, this movie has some of the best (and oddest) practical effects I have seen in a movie like this (specifically Shirleys "hands"), as well as a small amount of decent 1990s cgi. Sister Gloria is a national treasure, and, surprisingly enough, the other characters aren't half-bad either. The dialogue was a bit over the top, but still hilarious and (in my opinion) rather realistic for the time period. In terms of continuity, there are a few things that don't make sense, such as if Linnea Quigley's character in the first movie was the first person to be possessed, and was the only one to use the lipstick, why is it that Angela returned instead of her? Also, how could the lipstick have left Hull House if it had a demon inside of it? I can overlook these questions, however, because of how genuine all the characters are. The good characters are genuinely good, and the bad ones are either genuinely bad, or just plain evil. To summarize, Night of the Demons 2 is a bizarre, hilarious, and surprisingly genuine horror comedy that I will return to very often.
P.s. Sister Gloria is the greatest nun in cinematic history. No question about it.