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Muttley_McLad
From:
Born in Macc, raised in Manchester, Greater Manchester (so good they named it twice) England
Personal details:
Bloke
Age:
30's
Work:
Full time aircraft Loadmaster and freelance Professional Shagger
Interests:
Shagging birds
Drinking ale
Watching Man United
Shagging birds
Racing cars
Big screen telly
Shagging birds
Chips
The pub
Shagging birds
Favourite Sayings:
Who's round is it?
Mornin' love...taxi numbers are on the fridge door.
Reviews
The Acolyte (2024)
Joining the Panderverse
If you saw South Park's Joining the Panderverse episode, then there's really nothing else that I can add here. They already pretty much nailed it months before The Acolyte even aired. And if you haven't, then watch that instead of The Acolyte. Trust me, you'll miss none of the main hook of The Acolyte and have way more fun at the same time.
This is just every lazy, over used, cliché, put a chick in it and make her lame diversity box ticking exercise you can think of, all at the cost of anything close to half competent writing, or heaven's forbid, some decent plot and character development. It is that blatant, it's actually the stereotype of the stereotype. If it weren't so tragically mundane and predictable, that would actually be quite an achievement in itself.
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Beautifully dreary
As a visual spectacle, it is truly stunning. Strip the shiny distractions away though and honestly, it's a bit boring. It's at least 40 minutes too long, some of the dialogue is truly dreadful and the plot has all the complexity of a ham sandwich.
People lauding Cameron's return...I just don't get it?? This is no Aliens, nor is it a patch on Terminator 2, two films that themselves had 'blow you away' visuals in their day (and still stand up over 3 decades later). The notable difference with those two over this though was that they brought so much more to the table. The pacing was far more efficient, the dialogue for both were memorable (I don't hear anyone quoting lines from Avatar), the scripts were lean and didn't waste screen time and the characters, man the characters! There is no Ellen Ripley, no Sarah Connor, no Kyle Reese, no Vasquez, T-800, Hicks, Hudson, Bishop, Newt etc here. It's not that the characters here a bad, but they're very run of the mill affairs and none of them are particularly memorable, or stand out in any significant way other than how much screen time they are allocated.
This isn't to say that it's a bad film, because it isn't. But once you strip the very impressive effects away, it's just not a great film either. It's just a very average sequel with just one stand out appeal in the visuals. If you want to spend 3 hours marvelling at the effects, you'll have a ball. If you're looking for a bit more depth below the shiny surface though, well it'll be a very long 3 hours for you.
Santa Inc. (2021)
The (mean) spirit of Christmas
Had to watch this out of curiosity after all the negativity...it's all completely justified.
It's nothing more than a mean spirited, nasty, condescending pile of trash that wants to make you feel guilty for enjoying the Chritsmas that we've loved and looked forward to for centuries. Why? Because a couple of Hollywood elites who, according to their own customs and traditions, don't celebrate it say so.
Peace to all mankind? Yeah, my arse! If you fall within a certain demographic, you've no right to enjoy Christmas...because Seth says so!
The Critical Drinker (2012)
Nah, it'll be fine.
Offering a knowledgeable and delicate look at various cultural, none alcoholic beverages from around the world, The Critical Drinker uses his insight to give sensitive reviews and opinions on each and every freshly squeezed sustainably organic juice, herbal brew and plant based detox wellness drink that he can find to critique.
Nah, just kidding. Prepare to have your expectations subverted.
He's a permanently leathered Scotsman, with a no holds barred attitude on what he doesn't like and what doesn't work in today's film industry and a genuinely constructive analysis of how and why he thinks that to be the case. Parts of his channel too are his 'The Drinker Recommends' and 'The Drinker Fixes' series, for which he uses his day job experience and skills as a fiction author to examine what makes the good, good and, if needs be, offer suggestions on how to change some of the absolute dross which is pumped out onto the big screen these days.
A true wordsmith with a hilariously cynical, 'I just can't be bothered' undertone to his style and very self aware play on The Drinker character that he has developed in a very short time on his rapidly growing YouTube channel and all done without a single plea to 'smash the like button, share and subscribe' too...quite the opposite in fact. For all his pleading to just 'go away now', the subscribers continue to come in their droves.
Le Mans (1971)
One for the petrolheads.
Le Mans. Still to this day, the greatest race on Earth.
Let's get this out of the way, on the face of it the film is bad. The script is next to none existent. McQueen doesn't even speak until 40 minutes in and even then, it's nothing more than "Hello". The character development is even more threadbare and the plot...well, there is no plot. There is a forced, very much tagged on 'relationship' between McQueen and the obligatory eye candy and the few memorable lines of dialogue that there are carry a very melancholy tone to them. On script alone, it's bloody depressing!
The production was a mess long before cameras were rolling and damn nearly bankrupted McQueen and his own Solar Production company. Studio interference and eventual jurisdiction over the film probably saved it from many more years of development hell in the end, but I can guarantee that the finished product was nothing at all like a McQueen blockbuster that the investors could all but have been assured of with the lead's name headlining it. It bombed and bombed badly.
But Le Mans was never a film aimed at the casual viewer. Le Mans is very much McQueen's own ode to the great race, with the story of the race itself being central to everything...and for anyone who knows anything about the 24 Hours of Le Mans, this was essential. Every year the race is run and every year, the race tells its own story. Stories of glory, heartbreak, bitter rivalries, heroics and unbelievable comebacks run rich through the race's history. It's a living, breathing race, always evolving, but never entirely predicable. Safe bets fall by the wayside, minnows rise to the top. Cruel luck and amazing good fortune all play their roles. If the actual race itself were a film, the twists and turns would rival any Hollywood script. There is an old adage that says 'you don't win at Le Mans. Le Mans lets you beat it' A saying that has been proven time and time again throughout the long history of the race.
The film gives a fictional account of the 1971 race, using a great deal of real race footage from the 1970 race. The story of how some of that footage was captured could be a film in itself. A camera was strapped to the front of McQueen's own Porsche 908/02 Spyder and it was entered into the 1970 race as an actual competitor. McQueen was absolutely forbidden to drive in the race itself (much to his chagrin) by the production's insurers, but for years there have been rumours that he switched places with one of the official race drivers of the car. Certainly there is a blink and you'll miss it scene of the 908/02 flying past the pitlane as McQueen's character's car is having a tyre change, with McQueen himself nowhere in shot...or was he? The helmet of the driver of the 908/02 was an open faced, red Bell helmet with a white visor strip...a helmet that McQueen had been pictured wearing when racing his 908/02 when not busy with making movies. Conclusive? No. Suspiciously intriguing though.
There are continuity issues, with the dirt and grime on the cars suddenly being cleaned off well into the race and (you're going to need some proper petrol head inner geek for this one), other cars out of position within the time frame of the film. These can be traced back to the use of real race footage Vs production 'art shot' footage on the closed track. Continuity wise, it's a bloody mess.
But here's the thing. McQueen 'understood' Le Mans. He understood that sound and speed went hand in hand. He knew that it could break heroes just as easily as it made them. He understood that the race was as much of a competition against the other teams as it was a race against time and the circuit itself. He sensibly stayed away from the glitz and glamour that followed him everywhere he went, making his character a secondary player in the story to the race itself. This is Steve McQueen, the biggest name of his era, opting to not only not be the hero, but to not even take centre stage in the film. It confused the hell out of the critics, who wrote him off as washed up and finished after it's release and left the casual viewer wondering what the hell it was all about.
But for the fans of the race, it was perfection. No driver is bigger than the race...McQueen got this. For the fans, the sights and sounds of the cars was captured perfectly. The sound of the Porsche 917K howling, like a tortured banshee, on full throttle upshifts was divine. The brutality of the track was captured in all its make 'em or break 'em glory. The mutual respect of the competitors wasn't turned into an on-track version of Rocky (yeah, I know, it pre-dates Rocky) , but was a very realistic account of how team tactics played out then. McQueen made the race and the cars the stars of the story, with himself just being a bit player in a much larger event. The film didn't end with the obligatory glory that a name with McQueen's star power commanded at all and merely ended, as after 24 hours, the race itself does.
But there are moments in the film that have now become legend in the motor sport world. "Racing is life. Everything before or after is just waiting" is a line that has echoed around race circuits throughout the world ever since. The 2 finger salute in one of the final shots of the film has been copied, blown up or printed and framed countless times. Replica race suits and Gulf liveried 'tribute' cars can be found in pretty much any motor sport memorabilia catalogue these days. The film left its mark back then and to this day, is still one of the finest motor sport films out there.
None motor sport fans, even if a fan of Steve McQueen, will struggle to find anything memorable about this film. But for those who covert the 24 Hours of Le Mans and spend their year 'just waiting', it is essential viewing and a film that has become motor sport folk law. In terms of authenticity and capturing the 'Spirit of Le Mans', McQueen nailed it. Given the size and tone of the event itself, that was no easy feat.
The film was unfairly panned by those who didn't understand what McQueen was trying to do with Le Mans, assuming that it would be like James Garner's 'Grand Prix' and confused to hell when they found something very different. But for those who did 'get it', it is legend. Compared to the other big two in capturing serious racing, Grand Prix still holds up now and Rush was a superb modern attempt, but Le Mans is still the big one.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Through chaos comes order
Max is back! Of that there is no doubt.
I went into this film as a fan of the originals, but also fully aware that this wasn't going to be a direct sequel of any kind. It's 30 years since Mad Max last took to the big screen, time, technology and even actors have moved on now. The film would be different, of that I was sure.
They got rid of any concerns about continuity pretty much right away by declaring with the appearance of the Interceptor (which the last time we saw it was at the bottom of a gully, in lots of pieces and very on fire) that there wasn't any continuity. Right from the outset too, they made it clear that this was a film that was telling you not to get bogged down with the details, just take it as a story from one of Max's encounters out in the wastelands and enjoy the action.
Then there is a new actor in the roll that Gibson made his own. Hardy is a physically expressive actor who uses his body to bring presence to his character's and I would think that with Max being a man of few words, this was a part of the reason he was cast. This is a more brutal world than the one we saw in Road Warrior and Thunderdome though, so what we get is a more brutal Max. Where as Gibson's Max lived on his speed and ingenuity, Hardy's Max seems more driven by brutality and instinct.
It's still the Max we know, the nomad of questionable morals and of few chosen words, who's given over living for just surviving. But this seems to be a Max who's been out there in the wastelands much longer than he had been the last time we saw him and is a few steps closer to complete insanity. It's a much lonelier, mistrusting and feral version of the character than the one Gibson left us with some 3 decades ago, but it's a version that works exceptionally well. Few actors do boarder line insane and have physical presence at the moment as well as Hardy does.
The big question for me, as it has been for many others, was how would it hold up against what many consider to be the best of the Mad Max originals, Road Warrior...
Well, consider this. Road Warrior was ground breaking for it's time and the real stand out scene was without doubt the final chase with the tanker. For the budget they had and with what had come before, it was astonishing! Now, take that (admittedly quite long in itself) scene and turn it into an entire 2 hour extravaganza. That's brave!
If you're going to do that, you've got to make sure that it is a new encounter for the new character and not just a remake of one of the most iconic action scenes ever filmed. Then if you're going to do that, you've then got to make sure that the quality of the action at least meets that of Road Warrior's, if not excels above it. With a film that's (and I'm not joking here) at least 80% action, that's a tall order.
So did they do it? A resounding yes! This is an action film and makes no excuses for it. There is no clever twist, no love interest, not much dialogue and not much that on paper makes it much to shout about as a great film. But purely as an action film, it's an absolute masterpiece.
The action is plentiful, beautifully shot, brutal, chaotic, relentless and merciless, but interestingly, it's as much of a plot point as anything else in the film is. A particularly nice touch were the aerial long shots showing where everyone was in relation to each other as they converged across this vast, barren post apocalyptic landscape. It truly takes center stage above all else and much like Road Warrior did almost 35 years ago, sets new benchmarks in what an action film can do.
The thing is, when you consider that most astonishingly of all is that the vast majority of stunt work was done using practical, physical effects in this digital age, every action film that is released from now on, CGI or not, will be compared to Fury Road's many, many excellent scenes. It is simply that much of a game changer with action film standards!
You've got to take this film for what it is. A no holds barred, old school action film of the very finest level. Of those, it really is one of the very best examples of on screen action ever put to film.
Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)
Curious, surreal and not particularly well made road movie.
Two-Lane Blacktop has all the ingredients for a truly appalling film. Bad acting, weak script, sparse action scenes and a throw away plot.
Yet...
This curious little film constantly finds its way into my personal top 5 films over and over again. It's the epitome of B movies, particularly the road movie genre. It borrows heavily from Easy Rider and the romance of an era where free living heroes occupied the minds of young men and women. You get a sense that Two-Lane was something of a swan song for the nomadic road warriors who would live for the road, drifting from race to race as a means to indulge their free spirits, for within a few years with various legislation introductions and rapidly increasing fuel prices, it would soon become an archaic, out dated romantic dream of yesteryear.
The film charts a few days in the lives of two young men (The Driver and The Mechanic) and their beaten up, but much loved '55 Chevy (barely) street legal dragster. Never more than one bad race away from losing everything as they struggle to make ends meet, they enter into a country wide duel with the mysterious 'GTO', a man who is not too far from imploding himself, possibly already deep in the throws of a midlife crisis. Attracted more by money and image than natural skill and pure talent, GTO finds himself goaded into challenging the two younger men in a winner takes all cross country race. So there you have the film then and you know how it's going to end up? The young heroes putting the load mouthed big shot in his place. Well, no. That's the beauty of this film, it never quite plays out to your expectations.
The relationship between the two younger men is intriguing. They play it as more of a professional agreement, finding strength in their individual talents on the road and under the hood. Equally interesting is the relationship they develop with GTO. It's clear that they don't think much to his driving or his flashy, brand new muscle car which he believes makes him king of the road. But you do get a sense that there is an underlying mutual respect from both parties, appreciating what the other is doing and how far they are willing to go to preserve their lifestyle and love of the open road.
It's an uneasy film, always tense and never far from seeing all three of the main characters descend into conflict, particularly when 'The Girl' comes into play, but somehow, they just about manage to hold it together long enough to take us to the end of the film.
Much has been said about how the film ends. Some love it, some hate it. There's no last minute blaze of glory here, just an indication that after everything that had taken place within the film's time frame, ultimately nothing really changes and the hint that these characters will never live their lives any differently to the only way they know how to live life right up until the point where they either burn out or fade away. It's a very brave way to end the film and it's an ending that I personally love.
Two-Lane is a funny little film. There's no glitz, no glamour and no heroics. It's more of a window into a bygone era. It's very much a love it or hate it affair and a fascinating curiosity. Which ever side of the fence you come down on, it's one that you will remember.
There within perhaps lays the films biggest strength. After watching it for the first time, you can't help but feel that it stays with you for days afterwards as you try to make sense of it and explore its quirks in your own mind. If you eventually decide that it's one that you like, I can guarantee that it won't be long before you find yourself back for a second viewing.
A classic road movie that refuses to conform to expectations.
The Class of '92 (2013)
An honest review from a red Manc.
It's flawed. It would be very easy to see this documentary through rose tinted glasses and praise it to the hilt, but I came away from it wanting more of some parts of this incredible story of six young footy players, but also wanting less of other unnecessary distractions.
The story is a classic, no doubt. Love or hate Manchester United, the 98/99 season had most of Europe's footy supporters gripped on the antics of this old football club from an old industrial town in the north of England, both of which had looked to have long seen the best of their glory days come and go. Some wanted to see their opposition fail in achieving what even the pundits thought was impossible when the film's namesake began to make themselves known. Others wanted to see just how far this roller coaster ride could go and whether these young kids that seemed to dominate the back pages of the tabloids could live up to the hype.
The film mixes the on pitch dramas with the real life own accounts from all six players of life growing up with Manchester United, including very amusing recollections of how Scholes developed his devastatingly accurate passing on the training grounds and Sir Alex emptying a late night house party in seconds whilst looking for a young Ryan Giggs. There's also quite a heart felt piece from David Beckham and how he tried to cope with the lowest part of his career. Even now, well over a decade later, it's clear to see how close these six are not only as team mates but also as lifelong friends, coming to his defense of the criticism against him.
The problem is the film doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. One minute it's charting the first steps of their professional careers, then in the blink of an eye we're treated to a piece of on pitch action from much later on in their careers. As a fan, that's not much of a problem as what is shown from the on pitch escapades are all memorable moments from that era of the club. But for the neutral viewer, there is no clear cut time line. What you would think would be the natural culmination of their story, the 98/99 Treble winning season is told chronologically, but it's scattered into small sections that the film seems on occasion to randomly jump into. I would personally liked to have seen a much smoother progression through the timeline.
There are a few too many very strange contributions from ex Prime Minister, Tony Blair. Some very thinly disguised (and quite cringe worthy) comparisons to his own political ideas for Britain at the time, which just seemed completely unnecessary and very out of place for a film focusing on one of football's most dramatic stories.
The Man United fans will enjoy it for the interviews and the memories of the 6 grown men as they look back on their incredible journey into adulthood and sporting super stardom. But for anyone else, I can't see it having much appeal. There's probably too much in there that fans of some other clubs just won't want to remember, where as it's probably too focused on the 6 men who will only be heroes to those Man United fans who saw them play during that era for it to be of much appeal to the casual football fan.
This is main problem the film encounters. There just isn't enough for the neutral viewer. The club was much bigger than just those 6 lads and no more so was that true than of the Class of 92 era. The heroics of big Peter Schmeichel, the brutality and determination of Keano, the brilliance of King Eric, the Cole and Yorke strike partnership, the managerial mind games, the relentless late comebacks from being behind in a match but to name a few are all either missing, or are unfortunately a blink and you'll miss it affair. Perhaps the biggest issue that I have with the film is the lack of material from their biggest influence, Sir Alex Ferguson. The little of him that there is totals probably less than a minute of material. It's a shame as together they were all instrumental elements in getting these 6 young players names into the football history books.
I enjoyed it as a Man United fan, enjoying the trip down memory lane and listening to the players tell their story was both interesting and amusing. But unless you are a fan and want to see your boyhood heroes together again one more time talking about old times and what it meant for them, there isn't really much here that isn't already documented just as well, if not better in many other club DVD's and online fan videos.
3/10 for the none fans.
6.5/10 for the fans.
Rush (2013)
Chris Hemsworth as James Hunt? Really??!
Really.
His performance in Rush came as a huge surprise. This is his best performance by quite some margin, a role which he plays with a great deal of maturity and respect. He plays Hunt with just the right level of arrogance, cockiness, confidence and audacity to convince you that he was real life 70's playboy James Hunt, a man destined to live fast and die young.
Bruhl is superb as Niki too. It's a role that he deserves much recognition for, particularly his accent and mannerisms. Lauda was one of the first of a new generation of professional driver, driving the old playboy characters out of the sport and Bruhl nails this icy determination to succeed magnificently.
A particular nod goes to Christian McKay's portrayal as the slightly eccentric, petrol head extraordinaire, ever so aristocratic but hopelessly financially incompetent Lord Hesketh.
The camera work is spectacular, none less so than with some very creative angles of the beautifully filmed on track action. The brief in-helmet camera shots are inspired, giving you a glimpse of the drivers world. CGI work will be spotted by the keen eyed, but you have to consider that without it that there are certain scenes involving priceless period machinery (the sound of a Cosworth DFV firing up and filling the cinema was worth the ticket price alone) that would be just impossible to film as accurately as they were depicted here with real machinery. As a result, they are able to use the CGI sparingly and to good effect.
The main facts of the 1976 season are on the whole handled very accurately. Certainly, some liberties are taken with poetic licence, but this is still a scripted film and not a documentary. The factually heavy writing of the script along with beautifully filmed and liberal use of period machinery being recorded at pace on real asphalt will be enough to keep the fans of the sport well represented.
It's a gripping telling of the 1976 Formula 1 season, which whilst not sharing the same shear spectacle of Howard's other 'too unbelievable to be true' film Apollo 13, Rush tells a story which would be just too unbelievable in terms of human bravery and personal destiny for any fictional story to be given credence. It's a tale which will be enough to hold the unfamiliar or casual viewer's attention with a steel firm grip to see how the different personalities handle the pressures of life both on and off the track and how rising to the top takes it's tole on these two polar opposite real life gladiators of the race track.
With the lead actors clearly committed to giving their best performances yet and a tastefully handled script, Ron Howard delivers a visually impressive account of events that may well become one of his most respected directorial efforts yet.
10/10