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Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians (2011)
Holy smokes, Holy Rollers
"You may say to yourself "my power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me," but remember The Lord, your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers as it is today" Deuteronomy 8: 17-18 as read by Dusty, a card counter, from his iPhone
When I think of Christians, I often think of the man who used to come in when I was waiting tables and talk to me for hours on end about Christ and The Bible. He would take up one of my tables and when he would leave I wouldn't find a cash tip. Instead I would find pamphlets about churches in the area and why Jesus Christ should be my lord and savior. Now, I know that not all religious folk are like that, but man, did it leave a bad taste in my mouth.
I am not a religious person whatsoever. I believe that if you want to follow religion closely then that is your right as a human being. HOLY ROLLERS gave me a look at the type of Christians who don't unintentionally rob you of a day's tips to inform you about why you should save yourself while there's still time. Instead, these Christians take millions of dollars from casinos. Tatted up, beer-drinking, pipe-smoking gamblers. The Church Team is what they call themselves and they are spearheaded by Ben Crawford and Colin Jones. Word spreads quickly in a Christian community, so Ben and Colin had no trouble finding a group of people who were happy to aid the cause by learning how to count cards and take money from casinos.
See, it's not just playing cards. I had no idea just how deep this kind of thing got. In a professional card counting group there are the people who fund the group with investments, the bosses of the group – Ben and Colin – and then the worker bees. They take the money invested in them and go to casinos hoping that they aren't promptly asked to leave, as card counting is naturally something that a casino watches for carefully. Once they break bankroll – make over $100,000 – everyone gets paid.
There are several things wrong with this picture. These Christians – church planners, pastors, and ministers – are gambling. Don't get me wrong, I play the scratch off tickets and I was disappointed once again this morning when I didn't hit the Mega Millions Lotto, but they are doing something that I'm fairly certain is illegal. And the rationalization is that the lord told them to provide for their loved ones. I guess they think casinos deserved to have their money taken anyway. If the lord says it's fine, then they believe it's fine.
My knee jerk reaction is to call bullshit. Why is it okay for these people to do this, but everyone else who sins is condemned to hell, eh? Because the holy spirit speaks to them? I guess when you put all of your faith in something or someone, it becomes consuming. The thing that annoyed me was the fact that not one of them thought they had a problem. The only time there was doubt was when the cashflow slowed down and it wasn't fun anymore. The days of dressing up in costumes to avoid being noticed at certain casinos were over and the days of coming to an understanding of what it is that you're doing with your life becomes a concern.
I mean, I guess it works. The proof is in the pudding. Or, in this case, the stacks of hundred-dollar bills that these people keep. Even director Bryan Storkel invested in the team and his investment came out in his favor. About 130% in his favor.
I guess what it all boils down to for me is the fact that because they are Christian, The Church Team believed that what they were doing was acceptable in the lord's eyes. I just really feel that a harsh judgement would be passed upon people who might do the same thing and who are not Christian.
Regardless of my own personal thoughts and feelings on the matter, HOLY ROLLERS is a great film. Incredibly intriguing and a real eye-opener into a world that I had no idea even existed. This is definitely one to see.
Dream House (2011)
Everybody who lives in this house dies... OF BOREDOM
Synopsis: Will Atenten (Daniel Craig) has just moved into a new house after leaving the company he's worked at for five years. He wants to write a book and live at home with his beautiful wife, Libby (Rachel Weisz) and their two perfect children Trish (Taylor Geare) and cutie-pie Dee Dee (Claire Geare). To the untrained eye, this is the American dream. Libby paints and dotes lovingly upon her husband and the two girls are mostly seen and not heard. Only, something is terribly wrong here. Everyone is treating Will as though he is somehow not welcome. Perhaps he had a bad dinner party and offended all of his neighbors. If only it were that simple. The truth lies deep within the nooks and crannies of the small community in which Will once lead a happy life.
What a promising story! A mysterious psychological thriller is typically a big crowd pleaser. While this movie sort of leaves the audience guessing until the end, I was not on the edge of my seat. In fact, I was sitting – head in hand – wishing for this movie to end. I didn't care if everyone in the film lived or died. I just wanted it to be over. How can a plot like this one fail so miserably? The words aggressively bad come to mind when I am asked what I thought of Dream House. Let's take a look at where this movie went wrong. First off, I believe that a movie can have too much story. When a filmmaker tries to cram in too much detail, the whole thing can come off the rails very easily. In the way that Nightmare on Elm Street keeps the viewer guessing as far as what's real and what is a dream, this movie had the right idea in doing the same sort of thing. The only problem is that it didn't do it right and therefore became a failure from the get-go. As a clever movie-going public, we are trained to weed out the unnecessary bits in films like this one. If I were to do that, I'd say that the movie was approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes too long.
The characters were another problem. Ann Patterson (Naomi Watts) is Will's neighbor. She is the only person outside of his house who is nice to him when he returns. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows spend most of the film furrowed and she often looks worried, but it doesn't come across as sincere to me. None of the characters in this movie do. Everyone seems confused more than anything. And even though we know that Ann is the key to uncovering Will's troubled past, it is still all so hard to swallow.
Possibly the biggest problem for me was the soundtrack. If you've read my blog before, you know that I am a soundtrack enthusiast. I love a good score and when the music in a movie matches up in that perfect harmony with what is happening on-screen it is some sort of magic. The music for Dream House is offensive. The idea of the soundtrack is to capture the moment. Hearing that music later takes you back to the emotion you felt. It sounds cheesy, but it's so true. I don't know how they screwed that part up so badly, but they did it. Boy oh boy, did they do it.
Save your money, readers. It won't be long before Dream House hits NetFlix instant or drops into a $5 discount bin at a Wal-Mart near you. One night when you've had too much to drink and there is absolutely, positively nothing else on, you can fall asleep to this wretched mistake and know that you didn't miss a thing.
****See more of my reviews at www.mssilverscreen.com****
The Debt (2010)
The Debt
There are several ways to settle a debt. An especially intense way is to kill someone and have that be that. When the troubled minds of three people who are personally affected by the heinous acts committed by a certain Nazi doctor, that's precisely what they mean to do. The only time things get complicated is when everything does not go according to plan. I'm not talking about the kind of plan that falls through and you're like "I guess we'll order pizza and stay in since those guys bailed on us." I'm talking about the kind of plans that fall through and lead these three people to working shifts as they care for the Nazi doctor they meant to kill and dispose of.
Much like a newborn, captive Nazi doctors need almost constant attention. When they get fussy they must be fed and bathed and things of the like. Rachel, Stephen, and David (Jessica Chastain, Marton Csokas, Sam Worthington) have good reasons for wanting to kill this particular man. Nazis have earned a pretty bad reputation. I'm looking at you, Hitler. This Doktor Bernhardt (Jesper Christiansen) really has it coming. He has done some dark deeds in his day and will pay the price. Do you get it yet?
I remember seeing the preview for THE DEBT and thinking to myself "Boy, I'm not going to see this movie. That young Julia Roberts look-a-like gets her face all jacked up and I just can't stand brutality against the face of a pretty young gal. Or any face for that matter." Yup, that was my original thought. Well, as you may've guessed, I did see the film. The movie was fine enough. The acting on the part of Ms. Chastain in particular was impeccable and I have never had a complaint regarding Helen Mirren who plays the older Rachel. She is one of the finer actresses in Hollywood. I think that Sam Worthington probably did something to personally offend whoever was in the casting department because they sure did not let his character age well.
As far as movies go, this isn't typically my style. They did throw in a nice little twist that was pretty cool, but I'm easy, so I don't really know for sure whether or not the movie was fantastic. However, consider your source, readers. I am a girl who loves explosions, things that go bump in the night, and a nice heavy dose of artillery. I don't know when this happened because I was raised on Disney films. But I digress
back to the film at hand. The storyline isn't cookie cutter and I like that. It moves along at a very nice pace that kept me interested the whole time. The ending though
I don't know what it is about endings. I haven't been pleased with probably 90% of the endings of movies I've seen this year. This one wasn't bad for the reasons that the other ones were. It's like this. I don't mean to sound insensitive or cruel or anything, but I don't like to watch elderly people do much of anything. Eat, kiss, drive, and especially battle to the death. Let your imagination wander on that one.
****Please visit www.mssilverscreen.com for more of my reviews and musings****
Contagion (2011)
A billion dead! That's where we're headed!
Have you ever been on a crowded bus and been standing face to face with the only sweaty, sniffley guy on the bus? And you're standing there saying to yourself "Great, now I'm going to get sick because this prick didn't have the common decency to call into work." And then you do get sick and die? But before you die you get home from work and kiss your wife and then she kisses the kids goodnight and they kiss nana and boppy and nana and boppy didn't have much time left anyway and now it's been cut even shorter?
This is the idea of CONTAGION. It all starts with one sick guy who doesn't keep to himself and hole up in his apartment on the futon like any good sick person should. The subsequent pandemic is all this guy's fault and he doesn't know it because he's dead. Although, if he had fallen ill years ago then Gwyneth Paltrow wouldn't have been able to ruin Coldplay. But I digress
So Mitch is married to Beth (Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow) and Beth becomes the first real example of how potent whatever this sickness is. Now, as someone who is incredibly hypochondriacal, I have a hard time watching any movie in which one man gets sick and then Jude Law is shouting "A billion dead! That's where we're headed!" in his wonderful Jude Law accent. The idea of it – to be frank – scares me. When I get a headache I think that I'm probably going to die, so this sort of this is just unacceptable. It is also more frightening because this could actually happen.
All of that being said, I didn't particularly enjoy the film. Looting and riots over vaccines? Laurence Fishburne and Kate Winslet trying to solve a global crisis together? It makes no sense! Maybe I am being too hard on this movie. Maybe it just wasn't as good as DRIVE – which I saw right before CONTAGION. Maybe if Ryan Gosling had run into CONTAGION and stomped a guy's head in I would have been more satisfied. I am cheapening the good name of CONTAGION which stars one of – in my opinion – the most talented actors of our time.
It's a great idea. Scaring everyone to do anything ever because they might get sick and die. I'm sure that something like this isn't too far-fetched. It is entirely possibly that someday an illness will wipe our species clean. It is more plausible than, say, cowboys fighting aliens or the rising of the apes. This movie is every bit as worthwhile as those two 'summer blockbusters'. One can only hope that if any of these things do happen that we will all have our very own Jude Law scampering about, shouting. He is, after all, the man with the plan. And the garbage bag spaceman suit.
****Visit www.mssilverscreen.com for more of my reviews****
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
Paranormal Activity 3... BOO!
Moviegoers hit 12 theaters on September 25th, 2009 to see what some would call the scariest movie they have ever seen. Making a mere $77,873 on its opening weekend, Paranormal Activity spearheaded a movement that would become a horror movie lover's dream. Paranormal Activity 2 opened just a little over a year later on a whopping 3,216 screens and grossed $40,678,424. This is a brilliant feat considering the logistics of these movies. They are low-budget and probably not incredibly difficult to make. They don't need the Brangelina's of the world and they are shot nearly all in hand-held camera mode. Motion sickness galore, people. To top it all off, the most recent installation in the Paranormal Activity trilogy, Paranormal Activity 3, beat both of the first two combined for opening weekend gross with a staggering $52,568,183. This franchise is on a rocket to the moon it seems. Oh, and let's not forget that Paranormal Activity 3 broke the record for highest grossing horror movie opening weekend of all time. OF ALL TIME.
It's not like these movies are super advanced with CGI graphics. They are lacking in the blood and guts and thrive mostly on sudden loud noises and things that go bump in the night. Somehow these filmmakers have perfected a formula that keeps butts in the seats and cowards like me covering their eyes whenever there is a quiet moment or a speed-up in the clock on the camera. Paranormal Activity 3 takes the audience back. We travel back to the salad days of our friends Katie and Kristi. Their mom Julie (Lauren Bittner) is decorating a birthday cake for Katie when we first meet her and step-dad Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith) is behind the camera catching all of the magic as it happens. The movie doesn't waste any time getting to the good stuff. It is just like the other movies in the way that one person senses something in the house and the other person is in total and idiotic disbelief. There is such a thing as blissful ignorance and I can't say that I blame Julie for taking that route. Moving sucks and if someone were to tell me that there was a violent and evil demon lurking somewhere in the house I moved into recently, I would probably chalk it up to "just the wind" every time too. Much like Daniel – Kristi's beau in PA2 – did, Julie is an ignorant pest that wants everything to just be okay so she ignores the proof that Dennis catches on video. Meanwhile, Kristi has started to get up in the middle of the night to talk to someone. This carries over to the daytime completely ruining every notion I ever had about bad things not happening in daylight during scary movies. Her friend's name is Toby and he truly is a jerk. Katie tries to tell her sister that she's just being a baby for having an imaginary friend and Toby gives her what for.
The picture in the attic from the first movie is captured in this one and we are also able to see much of why the ghosts are torturing this family. For the sake of doing something different (NOT), our cameras in this film are carefully placed throughout the house. However, this is before digital video and Dennis is limited to what he can do with a 6-hour time limit on each tape. In his infinite genius, he takes apart a oscillating fan to create a way for a camera to scan a room back and forth excruciatingly slowly. This makes it really easy for the movie to scare suckers like me who buy into contrived stuff like this that only happens in horror movies.
The last twenty minutes of the movie deliver an unexpected treat for those who have seen the other two films. It is different in that it is longest sustained sequence in any of the movies, and it gives the viewer a real understanding of why all of this dumb stuff is happening. Please keep in mind that this is coming from possibly the only person in the theater who actually screamed during this part.
As far as seeing this one, if you've seen the other two, why not, right? If you're going to get wet, you might as well go swimming. Aside from bitterly wishing that I had come up with the idea for the phenomenon that is Paranormal Activity, I enjoy a good scare. These movies work because they are not only frightening when you are at the theater watching them, but they take on a completely new level of terror when you are laying in bed in the safety of your bedroom and you can't be sure whether or not your closet door just moved. Oh, did you hear that? I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
Sherlock Holmes: dangerous at both ends and crafty in the middle
I've never read the books and I only just saw the first Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law about a week ago. Guess what
you don't have to be a total nerd to like this movie! I'm not saying that I'm not a total nerd. I know like three words in Elvish and I enjoy reading books about sharks, but when it comes to knowing everything about Sherlock Holmes, it's not at all necessary for enjoying this Guy Ritchie joint. Not everyone who watches this movie has read all of the books six times each and knows all of the other movies and so on and so forth. Some of us just have giant, raging crushes on Robert Downey Jr... I mean cinema.
Robert Downey Jr. is really a perfect gent for a role like this one. He's funny, charming, and quit-witted to boot. He also has the right amount of crazy to pull off Sherlock Holmes. Because one would have to be at least a little crazy to do the things that Sherlock does.
Here's a synopsis for you: Sherlock intercepts his love Irene (Rachel McAdams) when he finds that she is being followed, only she isn't being followed. She is doing a job for Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris – the only man alive who is directly related to frogs). When she screws it up he releases her from his services. How unfortunate for her. Holmes gets Watson wasted the night before his wedding. That night he meets Sim (Noomi Rapace) the gypsy fortune-teller. Gypsy fortune-teller has something to do with the unfortunate misfortune of Irene. His observation skills do not fail him and he is on yet another mission. After a meeting with Moriarty, Holmes learns of his beloved's fate and finds that tomfoolery is afoot. Instead of letting Watson enjoy his new bride, he must protect Mr. & Mrs. Watson from Moriarty's cronies. This includes throwing Mrs. Watson from the train. Dressed to the nines in blue eyeshadow and red lipstick, Holmes thwarts Moriarty's plan.
The rest of the movie is much of the same. A back and forth between two masterminds and their attempts to stop each other. But the real glory of this movie is the hilarity. Knowing when to be funny and when to get down to business is a vital skill in making a movie like this one. Word to the wise: get all of your bathroom/food/drink needs out of the way before the movie and don't get up. You won't want to miss a minute of this movie. I – like a fool – got up to fetch a refill for a thirsty pest with whom I saw the movie. I came back and boy was I ever sorry that I left at all.
I suppose the bottom line is that RDJ is a phenomenal actor, Guy Ritchie has a winning style of making movies, and Jude Law is the perfect match for Holmes's crazy antics. Without ruining anything for you, be prepared for a shocker in the last five minutes. I was the idiot in the audience who gasped loudly in an otherwise silent theater. I'm a sucker. All I'm saying is that when I grow up I want to be like Sherlock Holmes.
Drive (2011)
Drive - Simply the Best Movie of 2011
Why was DRIVE my favorite movie of 2011? Was it Ryan Gosling's awesome satiny scorpion jacket that I now have my very own hoodie version of? Was it the totally boss soundtrack? Was it Albert Brooks's complete lack of eyebrows? I would say it was a grand combination of these things and more. Ever since THE NOTEBOOK hit theaters I have always said to myself "Gee, I'd really love to see Ryan Gosling kick some guy's head in. Just stomp it to pieces." The story is a simple one that really just brings the awesome. Basically Driver (Ryan Gosling) does stunt driving for the movies. Malcolm in the Middle's dad AKA Breaking Bad AKA Bryan Cranston plays Shannon, Driver's boss at a garage where they work and his pseudo manager for his movie career. Shannon borrows money from Bernie (Albert Brooks) for a race car that Driver is to race. Are you keeping up with me here? Nino (Ron Perlman) is Bernie's business partner and is also a real nasty gangster type.
Then there's Irene (Carey Mulligan). She is Driver's neighbor. Driver and Irene totes have crushes on each other and so he helps her out with things and looks after her son. When Irene's husband is released from prison, he comes home and promises to make a better life for his family. Like ten minutes later he blows it and is a bloodied mess in the parking garage. Driver happens by and presses him for information. Anyone with half a brain – which may be more than Driver has – can figure out what is going to happen. Driver has to help Irene's husband get some mob guys off his back so they won't kill him or Irene and the kid. Did I mention that Albert Brooks has NO EYEBROWS? A mob story about a guy who drives for a living and wears a scorpion jacket all the time
what's so special about that? Well, if you drink when you go to the movies – like I do – then you know how easy it is to turn to mush at the smallest thing. Whether it's a vacant stare shared by two socially inept people, or a man's face completely lacking any kind of brow over the eyes. Ryan Gosling is perfect in this role. He's calm, cool, and collected at all times. He walks through the streets in a blood-stained jacket and everyone just assumes that he knows what he's doing so there's no need to worry.
It's that icy, blank gaze. The movie has plenty of action and a great soundtrack to go along with it. Cliff Martinez had the joyous task of creating a score for a driving movie and did so incredibly well. Every beat fits like a glove. I also tend to enjoy a twisting, turning plot that I can follow while I'm buzzed. I knew what was going on the whole time. Good on you, Hossein Amini, for writing a screenplay all types of audience members could enjoy. Even the ones with a tummy full of rum.
Basically, DRIVE tops my list for best movies of the year because it combines all of the elements necessary to create a movie that you'll remember. It stays with you. The story flows well and the movie doesn't drag on for an unnecessary 45 minutes. It jumps straight to the point. Still not convinced? Then you just go straight to hell.
I'm kidding. In all seriousness, a great screenplay and performances that are strange but superb have this movie lined up to win Best Picture at the Oscars this year, in my humble opinion. Some award shows just don't know what they're doing. I'm looking at you, Golden Globes.
The Artist (2011)
The Artist: Romantic and Magical
Was becoming a siren of the silver screen ever as easy as being in the right place at the right time? It was for Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo). When Peppy goes down to Kinograph Studios in – where else – Hollywoodland, she has a fateful drop of a pocketbook and literally bumps into handsome silent film star George Valentin (Jean Dujardin). A brief moment of mortification turns into a laugh and a laugh turns into front page news. A more realistic idea takes place after this meeting, as it really is who you know and not what you do when it comes to getting into show business. Thankfully, Peppy's wild curls and pearly whites were enough to catch the eye of George Valentin and she gets her first role in a big screen picture. The on-screen chemistry flows over into real life chemistry. George's wife is nonplussed with all of this and not even his adorable antics with his faithful pup can get him out of this one.
Aside from his marital troubles, George has an even bigger matter keeping him up at night. Talkies have just been introduced as the next big thing. Now, I don't understand why George wouldn't just make the transition myself, but the film makes it incredibly clear that he is quite proud of his silent films. Fortunately for Kinograph, the wildly adorable Peppy Miller isn't afraid to get on camera and speak. Speak, sing, whistle
she'll do it all. Guess this means they don't need George anymore. Cue sad, washed up music
Call me a sucker if you like, but that silent film song and dance (no pun intended) always gets me. Black and white makes everything so glamorous. When you throw two attractive people into the mix, it's a guaranteed hit. I'm not the only one who ate this movie up. Hollywood will surely be kissing director Michel Hazanavicius's feet come award show season. Dujardin already won Best Actor at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival and the film is carrying six Golden Globe nominations. God only knows what will happen at the Academy Awards, but I imagine that THE ARTIST will do just fine.
There is just something so charming about actors that can dance in tap shoes and look damn fine doing it. Old Hollywood is always regarded fondly and with the way things are going there these days, I wouldn't mind seeing some of that again. The only thing fake about Peppy Miller is her mole. Oops. Spoiler alert. There's an innocence to this movie that our society doesn't experience anymore. Also, Ludovic Bource -, the man behind the score for THE ARTIST – truly captured the sound of the era. A lot of simple piano is a good way to stir emotions and make the viewer believe they are watching a movie that is really from the late 1920s – early 1930s.
THE ARTIST took second place in my favorite movies of the year. Really, it is a fun movie with lots of pretty imagery and good toe-tapping music. It also flies by. It proves that we don't need boner/fart jokes and profanity to make an enjoyable movie. I don't mean to go all Will Smith 1999 MTV VMAs on you, but it truly is rare to find a film that makes us laugh and cry and emote all over without nudity/profanity/bodily excretions. In fact, not a word is spoken in THE ARTIST until the very end. It is just really well done and even though it is very obviously appealing to the vintage Hollywood style of doing things, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Based on the novel by Stieg Larsson, THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO follows Daniel Craig as Mikael Blomkvist, a co-owner and writer at Millennium Magazine. Mikael seeks to escape the public eye for a while after a blunder of epic proportions. Lucky for him, Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer) is looking for someone to write his memoirs. Oh, and to uncover the mysterious death of his great-niece Harriet Vanger. How does Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) tie into all of this? Well, if you're like me and you never read books that movies are based on you might not know. Lisbeth is enlisted to do a background check on Mikael before Henrik will take him on. Blomkvist is involved with his married colleague at the magazine, Erika Berger (Robin Wright – who, by the way, looks like an old catcher's mitt these days) and with a world of trouble on his shoulders, he ventures out to the island. When he realizes that he is getting in over his head, he insists that he be given a research assistant. He gets the brilliant mind of Lisbeth to assist in all of his research needs.
Now that we're all on the same page, let's talk about how excited I was for the last month and a half. My suspicions were that because David Fincher (The Social Network) was behind this film with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross on the turntables, this movie was going to — for lack of a better term — blow my mind. The story is an excellent one. Intriguing, smart, well done. However, I was not as impressed as I was with, say, THE SOCIAL NETWORK. Now, this is apples and oranges, really, because the two movies are entirely different in nature. So why was I checking my phone in the theater? Why did I leave to go to the bathroom when I didn't even have to go that bad? Perhaps it was the extra 45 minutes of unnecessary movie in there that turned me off. It is always a bad sign when an avid moviegoer like me takes a cellphone out or leaves the theater for any reason during the film. I have risked my ability to bear children more than once because a movie was so compelling that I couldn't tear myself away for as long as it took to use the facilities. I did both of those things last night.
The movie starts off strong. It is ominous and leaves the audience wondering. Always wondering. What is the story here? Who killed Harriet? Why do rich families always have these deep, dark secrets? I'm just saying, if I had my own island and a beautiful mansion to live in on that island, I would be too busy dancing the dance of joy to even think about sinister plots and things of the like. But then my life wouldn't make for good movie material.
When the film is introducing the two main characters to us, some light is shed on the troubling life of Lisbeth Salander. After her legal guardian suffers a stroke, Lisbeth is appointed a lawyer by the state. Nils Bjurman takes over Lisbeth's finances and does things to her that even my desensitized mind was bothered by. Forced fellatio and sodomy (the WORST kind) top the list. He's just a creeper in every way. Putting Lisbeth on an allowance system and then forcing himself on her when she needs money for a new laptop, making fun of her eyebrow piercing. Don't worry, though. He gets his comeuppance in a big way.
The movie is fine. It really is. It's just that extra time they didn't need to have in there. Even the sad kids with the skinny jeans and the wacky hair-dos next to me in the theater agreed that it was too long. I don't think it is hard to over do it in a picture like this one. There is so much story to be told and only so many frames to tell it. David Fincher can make a great movie. I think that with this one it was just a matter of trimming the fat a bit. The acting is superb. Rooney Mara is excellent. Daniel Craig was even good. Christopher Plummer is sublime, but that goes without saying. Next time let's just leave out all of the extra bits, eh?
Rango (2011)
Rango - The Kids Movie that is not for Kids
Last night while I was watching Rango, I felt myself putting an honest effort into really enjoying the experience. I haven't read any other reviews because I feel that is bad form for a film critic. It makes it difficult to concentrate on one's own thoughts and feelings. I did, however, see that my guy – Roger Ebert – gave Rango four stars and a standing ovation. This is troubling, as I feel that four stars is a generous rating for this one.
Let me first say that just because the movie has the Nickelodeon name attached to it does not mean it is meant for children. Like the great Wall-E, this movie is one that appears to be marketed for children and adults alike, but is really for the older crowd. Whenever I make this judgement, I imagine my niece sitting next to me in the movie theater. Would she enjoy the film? Not Rango.
Although the four-letter words don't get more extreme than H-E-double hockey sticks and one "damn" thrown in, the peppering of "hell" throughout the film appeared to be abundant. This is fine for my big girl ears, but I would have felt uncomfortable had my niece been there.
I suspect some will say that the film is not marketed for the younger demographic. I beg to differ. Not only is it a cartoon, but it is a Nickelodeon film. These two things coupled with the fact that all of the previews show cutesy scenes with little cartoon creatures say to me that this movie will be kid friendly.
I don't want to harp on this much longer, but there are a few scenes in which the movie is even scary. I think that PG rating could definitely be bumped up to a PG-13. Not to mention all of the political aspects of the film. Kids aren't going to get that stuff! Corrupt leaders and a seedy underbelly lead to many jokes that children will not get.
Perhaps I'm just a fuddy-duddy.
However, if you are an adult, you might really enjoy this movie. It has its laugh out loud moments. There are classic Depp moments as well. An homage to a former Depp film that was completely unexpected came across very well. Certain Captain Jack Sparrow characteristics were also present. "That's interesting
" Basically, Rango is the story of a little chameleon voiced by Johnny Depp who hangs out with a headless, naked Barbie torso with a missing arm and a wind-up goldfish. He knows nothing of desert living until he is thrust into it. In a little town called Dirt, Rango must save the town from a drought and find himself.
It was nice to see a strong female role in the film, though in the end she still needed rescuing. Isla Fisher is barely recognizable in voice as Beans, the love interest to Rango. Also unrecognizable was the fantastic Bill Nighy whom I love dearly most of the time, but Rattlesnake Jake is one mean dude. Little Abigail Breslin (Signs, Little Miss Sunshine) voices Priscilla.
The cast is great, the plot is good, and the movie over all is decent. I could have done without the owl mariachi band, but I suppose they served their purpose.
-Ms. Silver Screen founder of mssilverscreen.com
The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
The Adjustment Bureau (Pandering Alert)
Some of us believe that there is a higher power. Not necessarily a religious higher power, but a power that watches over us nonetheless. So what exactly is their job description? What are they supposed to do and see and control? The Adjustment Bureau makes an attempt to leap into the world of the higher power. The world of "It's out of our control." So what if you met someone you fell for at first sight? You know when people ask "Was it love at first sight?" What if it was? And what if you clicked with that person from the moment that you met them and suddenly they were jerked away from you. This higher power, this force, this group of beings that control everyday "happenings"
they take that person away. They tell you that you are not meant to be with that person and they are not meant to be with you.
What do you do? Especially if that person is Emily Blunt looking gorgeous
Do you cut and run? Or do you stay and do everything in your power to figure out why these
"people" won't let you be with the one that you love and adore? The Adjustment Bureau is a romantic science fiction thriller. A movie that takes a politician, David Norris (Matt Damon), and shows what can happen when even the smallest tidbit gets out about someone running for office, and it shows us his life after a failure. Then he meets the alluring Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt).
Blunt is hypnotizing in this movie. She is so attractive and so seductive
how could David help himself? He sacrifices all that he has going for him to be with Elise. I love a good love story. This is a good love story. He puts everything on the line for this woman even though he has Mr. Richardson (John Slattery) breathing down his neck.
Appearing as if he's just stepped off of the Mad Men set and onto the movie set, Slattery plays the role of the man who appears to be in charge of this whole operation. Not that it is laughable, but the fact that the men in this group wear fedoras makes it possible for them to walk through a door and have it take them anywhere but where it is supposed to take them. It's kinda neat I guess. It certainly adds to the sci-fi aspect of the film.
Ah, the movies
Putting a science fiction title on this movie gives it the believability it needs to thrive. I loved the movie. I loved the chemistry between Damon and Blunt. So often we see on-screen couples who appear as though they've just met in every scene. In The Adjustment Bureau, we have a scene where the pair meet up some time after the first meeting and they are just as charismatic with one another as they were when they first laid eyes on each other.
Excellent chemistry, good plot, and some interesting turns make The Adjustment Bureau one to see. The ending, however, was not for me. It would be silly for me to ruin the ending for you, but let me just say I enjoyed the film until the end.
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Battle: LAme
Battle: L.A. is like Signs meets We Were Soldiers meets Independence Day. It is a mishmash of hand-held camera style filming and war scenes. A big budget ad to join the marines. Lots of unanswered questions here. If you want your questions answered, look elsewhere. Explosions at every turn and lots of silence in between. I mention the silence because I find myself impulsively covering my ears when there is silence in a movie. My brain instinctively knows that the movie is setting me up for a startle. I didn't read any reviews on this film before I saw it because I wanted to go in knowing only what the posters told me. I knew there would be aliens, I knew there would be spaceships, and I knew that Aaron Eckhart's famous chin would have a starring role. Other than that, I knew nothing.
Remember that episode of The Simpsons with the "Yvan eht Nioj" video? That's what watching this movie felt like. I did not know that the marines aspect of it would be so prevalent. Aaron Eckhart plays SSgt. Michael Nantz. We get the impression that he's having the "I'm getting too old for this," feeling right from the beginning.
As the movie presses on, the audience meets the other men who will go off to fight when the aliens land. In an introduction much like the one in We Were Soldiers, we meet the young kid with the bright future, the smarty-pants doctor, the scared guy, and the stiff upper-lipped 2nd Lt. William Martinez with a baby on the way played by Ramon Rodriguez. Nantz is attempting to bow out gracefully when all hell breaks loose. He is called back into action even though somewhere along the line of duty back in the day he lost some men.
Everyone appears to know this secret and they throw it in his face pretty consistently. Regardless of what happened in the past, we've got aliens to fight! So let's get on with it!
please? I found myself saying this throughout the movie at points where it dragged and dribbled. The aliens themselves, while not all that impressive to look at, would blow the whole world to smithereens in a second. This makes it even more incredible that CNN managed to stay on air throughout the whole ordeal. The force with which they strike is overwhelming. One might watch this and think that if it were to go down this way in real life, we would all be goners. Curtains for all of us. That person would be right.
There is no way that we would survive an attack like the one demonstrated in Battle: Los Angeles. Ordinarily, there will be shots of famous landmarks burning to the ground or lighting up the sky in fantastic explosions. You'll find none of that here.
For a decent chunk of the movie I was completely focused on the children. Whenever there is talk of the end of the world, I am always thinking first of my niece and nephew. I may have gotten choked up when the children were facing danger, but that was in fact the only part of the movie that moved me. And I do mean the only part.
There is another part of the movie that is there for the sole purpose of moving the viewer to tears and emotionally attaching the audience to the characters. I say, better luck next time.
Overall, the explosions were abundant and the sappy moments were too. In a movie like this one, I like the explosions to outweigh the sappy moments by a lot. Bridget Moynahan spends the entire film wearing the same lobotomized expression. Michelle Rodriguez plays the cool tomboy. And the rest of the cast does their part to make things as interesting as they can.
Few surprises, lackluster performances, lame aliens, and one decibel too many put Battle: L.A. in the "Eh, it was okay" category for me personally. Oh, and be sure to remember that climbing under the desk drill from grade school if this ever does happen. It won't save you, but at least you can say you gave it your best shot.
Never Let Me Go (2010)
Never Let Me Go to Hailsham
I feel like I went into Never Let Me Go in a good place. I knew nothing of the film other than that it had Keira Knightly, Carey Mulligan, and a new favorite of mine, Andrew Garfield. I went off of the knowledge that I already have about movies and what their titles generally insinuate. I used common sense theories and had it in my head that this movie was going to be a delightful romp that followed the stories of three young people who just wanted to have fun and get into mischief with a little romance thrown in here and there. I have never been more mistaken in all of my life. Unless you count the time that I went to see Transformers 2 and thought it was going to be good.
This story of this film is incredibly frightening and almost nightmarish. The film begins with Kathy (Mulligan) who is recounting the experiences she had at a posh English boarding school. Garfield plays Tommy. He is teased and bullied by everyone but Kathy.
They become fast friends and as their budding adolescent passions start to come out, in walks Ruth (Knightly) who steals Tommy away from Kathy. Oh no she didn't.
Oh yes, she did.
Let me fill you in on a bit of the story without giving away too much. Basically, the kids at Hailsham boarding school are carbon copies of other people. They are created for their organs. Yes, they are essentially harvested for their vital organs. I say it twice because it blew my mind the first time it was brought up in the film and I had to hear it again. I figured I would do my readers a kindness and share that thought with you twice. So the children are raised to a certain age and just before adulthood is reached they begin their "donations" of vital organs.
To confuse things even more – as if organ harvesting weren't enough – there is a definite love triangle in this film. I must say that Andrew Garfield has a face that you just want to hold in your hands and stare into. His eyes are kind. I have always heard that expression that someone has kind eyes. I finally know just precisely what that means when looking at Garfield. But I digress
Former students of Hailsham will give a number of donations before their number is up. Typically they reach four donations, but some "complete" on the first donation. If you can't figure it out, complete means die. The worst, most frightening part of it all is that they cannot escape this fate. Or can they? Rumor has it that there is a way to at the very least put off the process for a while, but if I spoiled that for you I would just be the worst? Try as they might, the children of Hailsham must come to terms with what is going to happen to them when they grown up. It is all in the name of science and it is done so that the life expectancy of normal people extends past 100 years. Like I said, I was expecting a romcom or even a dramedy. I didn't laugh once. Not one time. In fact, I think for most of the film I was sitting with my mouth covered and tears that were waiting to well up just enough that they would finally roll up over my bottom lid and onto my cheek. And this did occur on more than one occasion.
This is not a light-hearted film and that is totally fine. It is brilliant for what it is and a concept that is rarely seen. I think the story is quite unique and I must say that it was fun to see Keira Knightly being a little nuts. Though this is a film that is hard to watch at times due to – for the most part – the anxiety level of the viewer, it is still a movie that deserves to be seen and heard. Such an idea is terrifying, but thankfully when I finished the movie and felt as though I had just woken up from a bad dream, certain verbal aggressions toward the television on which The Bulls are playing brought me back to reality. Then I had to deal with another problem entirely. Basketball, ugh. I'll take organ harvesting over that any day.
- Ms. Silver Screen founder of mssilverscreen.com
An Education (2009)
An Education in love, life, and avoiding foolish mistakes
The aptly named film An Education was not at all what I expected it to be. It exceeded my expectations by far and even surprised me. A coming-of-age tale of a 16-year-old girl in London. Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is doing well in school and on track to attend Oxford after high school. She is bright with a sharp wit and knows what she wants. Dad Jack (Alfred Molina) keeps on her to make sure that she is behaving and doing just exactly what she is supposed to be doing: spending every moment of her life buried in her books.
Everything changes one dreary, rain-soaked afternoon. Jenny stands on the corner alongside her cello when David (Peter Sarsgaard) pulls up beside her. He offers shelter in his car to her cello and she walks with his car, eventually letting her guard down and getting in. One must keep in mind that this film is set in a different time and place. Suburban London in the 60s probably wasn't as treacherous as say, London in the late 1800s. Jack the Ripper was long gone and Peter Sarsgaard has a certain charm to him. So she gets in the car and this is where our story truly begins.
A professor in a film class I am taking said to me once that to make a film you need three simple elements: a protagonist, an antagonist, and a plot. We need a beginning, a middle, and an end. So, you take your character and you get him up in a tree. That's the first act. You then throw rocks at him while he's in that tree. That's the second act. Finally, he comes down from the tree. Fin.
At this point, Jenny is up in the tree.
David, nearly twice Jenny's age, treats her to the finer things in life. A girl of sixteen would be wooed if a boy even knew her name. David not only knows her name, but he takes her out, buys her nice things, takes her to dinners, and even wins over her parents. His doting becomes more extravagant every day until he eventually proposes.
Meanwhile, Jenny has lost sight of her Oxford goals and decided to become just married instead. All the while, the audience wonders if David's intentions are pure or not and, well, I won't spoil that for you. Some of you may see the ending coming, some of you may not. I know that personally, I had a feeling and my feeling ended up being correct. But the movie ends just exactly the way I hoped it would.
Carey Mulligan is absolutely enchanting. Her face, her laugh, her charm
she's just lovely. This title, An Education, is truly what occurs in the film. This education is a literal one and an emotional one and I feel this is a brilliant film for young women to see especially. The message is clear and just goes to show that some things really are just too good to be true.
- Ms. Silver Screen founder of mssilverscreen.com
Your Highness (2011)
Your Highness - High-larious
If I weren't the open-minded, light-hearted individual that I am, Your Highness would have left me offended, unamused, and bored. Thankfully, I find vulgarity hilarious. This movie was jam-packed with it, too. Foul language, blood and guts, and naked women. Lots of them. If this doesn't sound like your idea of a good time then you should probably stop reading here because it is only going to get worse.
James Franco plays Fabious, brother of Thadeous played by Danny McBride. Thadeous is the Goofus to Fabious's Gallant. Charles Dance plays their father King Tallious. Tallious wants his slacker son Thadeous to get on the ball and start setting out on quests like his brother. However, Thadeous is perfectly happy to lounge around and hang out with his servant Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker). Upon arriving home from yet another quest, Fabious tells his father of his great news. He has not only come home victorious once again, but this time he has with him his bride-to-be Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel). He rescued her from the tower in which the evil Leezar was keeping her and now they are to wed. But what of his best man? His brother of course. Only, his brother wants nothing to do with the job and bails.
There is something about the way Danny McBride delivers expletives that makes him the comedic relief in any film. Up in the Air has got to be the only film in which I've seen him where he doesn't drop a variety of four-letter words on us. Yet, he was still very funny! Some actors just have that. His fondness for the female anatomy is unparalleled. He's really something.
At the wedding of Fabious and Belladonna, Leezar (Justin Theroux) crashes the event and claims his prisoner once again. This brings about the first quest that Thadeous will set out on. The laugh out loud moments are plentiful if you're willing to overlook the obvious and abundant vulgarity.
Later in the movie we meet Isabel played by Natalie Portman. I am thoroughly convinced that you could put her in a burlap sack, remove every drop of makeup from her face, and she would still be phenomenally gorgeous. She is what I like to call unfairly pretty. It's as though she took the pretty from 100 girls. There are one hundred homely girls out there because Natalie Portman took all of their beauty and kept it for herself. This is me trying to rationalize. Seriously though, she is quite fetching indeed and a fantastic talent. She holds her own on-screen with the guys and exhibits tremendous comedic timing.
This movie was directed by David Gordon Green. The same man who directed the boring and mostly pointless Pineapple Express. To quote Dumb and Dumber, "Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this
and totally redeem yourself!"
- Ms. Silver Screen founder of mssilverscreen.com
Arthur (2011)
Arthur - a bit of a bore
Arthur is a boozing, partying, carefree billionaire. With a nanny to tuck him in at night, 950 billion dollars at his disposal, and the law enforcement of Manhattan on his side what could go wrong? Russell Brand was probably the best choice for this role. Even so, I was not over the moon about his performance. Anyone can be witty with scripted lines, but timing and delivery are what make the character truly funny and endearing. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy Brand, there was just something not quite right about his performance.
Arthur claims that having fun is his calling and he does it very well. He crashes a batmobile, destroys a beloved landmark, and then celebrates when he finds that he's finally going to be put in jail. I really felt that I would be laughing a lot more during this movie. Someone behind me thought it was hilarious, but I did not share her feelings on the matter. Admittedly, I laughed aloud a few times. There is a scene in a candy shop involving a gummy bear costume that is particularly amusing, but overall the frequency with which Arthur comes up with on the spot witty remarks is a bit much. So the story goes that Arthur's mother – who is only present in his life to control the funds that he has access to – wants him to stop being such a buffoon and get it together so that he may run the Bach company someday. The company has never been run by anyone without the Bach name. If Arthur can't do it, then who? Enter the radiant Jennifer Garner. It is rare to see Jennifer Garner in a role where she isn't likable. Except, of course, Daredevil. But that wasn't her fault. The whole movie was a train wreck. But I digress.
Garner plays Susan Johnson. Her intention is to marry Arthur so that she will have the Bach name and can take over the company for Arthur's mother. Arthur doesn't like Susan and ends up falling for Naomi (Greta Gerwig). Naomi's down to earth factor is a little extreme. I can appreciate that she wants to be the girl who isn't wooed by money, but come on. His gestures are grand and I think any girl in her place would probably be thrilled to be doted upon in that way. Says the girl who haggled the price of a bagel this morning. Fifty cents is fifty cents I tell ya!
A movie so centralized around spending money and drinking heavily is an indulgence in itself. So I take this movie at face value. I accepted it for what it is, but I did not love it. The plot was often over the top and that wasn't so great, but it has a lot of heart.
Now, onto my two favorite parts of the movie: Helen Mirren and Luis Guzman. The hired help. Mirren as Hobson is charming, intelligent, and sophisticated to boot! She has been Arthur's nanny since he was in diapers. She gives the movie an entirely new level of likability. I think she does that with every film she touches though. Luis Guzman played a smaller role, but lemme tell ya, that guy was hilarious! He plays Bitterman the butler. I can honestly say that he got more laughs from me than Brand did.
To reiterate, Brand delivers a punchline well enough, Gerwig is at least memorable, Garner is adorable even when she's evil, Guzman brings the funny, and Mirren is
well, Mirren. She is gorgeous and lovely dressed in frumpy garb and that is something that few can pull off.
I say, go ahead and see Arthur. It's good for a couple of laughs. The movie's heart is in the right place and the message is actually a really great one. The delivery is just a little wacky. But hey, sometimes we all need a little bit of wacky in our lives.
- Ms. Silver Screen founder of mssilverscreen.com
The Hurt Locker (2008)
For War is a Drug
"The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug" – Chris Hedges
Imagine the feeling you get when you are waiting for something to happen. The anticipation building up in the pit of your stomach. Your hands in tight fists showing white knuckles. The Hurt Locker is 131 minutes of that feeling. An intense and real war film that keeps the viewer in a constant state of worry and stress. You might be thinking "Why would I watch that?" Because it is a profoundly moving film. That's why. This movie is outstanding and the message being conveyed is so clearly communicated. This movie takes a subject that makes people uncomfortable and shoves it in our faces. We are forced to see the ugliness of war. With tremendous performances by all involved, this movie is believable to an unsettling degree. Director Kathryn Bigelow took home the first Oscar for best director ever to be given to a woman in history. This makes perfect sense if you've seen the film, even though it is a shame that she was the first female to win best director when so many other impressive women came before her. But I digress
The Hurt Locker follows the story of an elite Army bomb squad. Sergeant First Class William James (Renner) makes disarming giant bombs look like a day at the park. His confident – sometimes overconfident – personality gets him in trouble one or two times, but he always manages to get the job done.
Working with him are Sergeant JT Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty). Sanborn and Eldridge question the manner in which James conducts himself. Doing reckless things like removing his headset and bomb suit when disarming a car with a trunk full of bombs. James says "There's enough bang in there to blow us all to Jesus. If I'm gonna die, I want to die comfortable." as he's removing his bomb suit. With quips like this one and a few others, there is just enough lighthearted banter to keep the audience themselves from exploding.
I really cannot say enough good about this movie. It is gritty and mean and completely disregards the ideological standards that Hollywood typically sets for films of this nature. The editing and cinematography are enough to get me to watch this over and over again. Not mention the explosive – no pun intended – performances from the actors.
Though it is a difficult film to watch, The Hurt Locker makes a point and drives it home so well. War is ugly. This movie doesn't paint a pretty picture of the situation and it is clear that Hollywood didn't get its pandering hands all over it. You may want to cover your eyes, but definitely watch The Hurt Locker and try to keep your eyes open as much as possible. You'll be glad you did.
- Ms. Silver Screen founder of mssilverscreen.com
Valentine's Day (2010)
Love Actually 2... er... I mean, Valentine's Day
Love Actually 2
I mean, Valentine's Day
gee, slip of the tongue. But seriously folks, this movie was like a bad sequel to Love Actually. Or a movie that was trying desperately to be what Love Actually was. The two movies are very much the same in the sense that they both follow the many stories of the star-studded cast. Everyone is falling into and out of love.
The difference between the two is that in Love Actually, the audience is given a chance to see the back story on the characters. We get to know them — and for the most part — love them. In Valentine's Day, there are so many people crammed into this film that we barely learn their names before someone else is introduced.
Let's get this out of the way
I am drawing in a deep breath
here is the list of characters for you: Jessica Alba as Morley Clarkson, Jessica Biel as Kara Monahan, Bradley Cooper as Holden Wilson, Eric Dane as Sean Jackson, Patrick Dempsey as Dr. Harrison Copeland, Hector Elizondo as Edgar, Jamie Foxx as Kelvin Moore, Jennifer Garner as Julia Fitzpatrick, Topher Grace as Jason, Anne Hathaway as Liz
Another breath
Carter Jenkins as Alex, Ashton Kutcher as Reed Bennet, Queen Latifah as Paula Thomas, Taylor Lautner as Willy, George Lopez as Alphonso, Shirley MacLaine as Estelle, Emma Roberts as Grace, Julia Roberts as Captain Kate Hazeltine, Taylor Swift as Felicia
enough! Sheesh! Was it necessary to enlist the majority of the so-so actors in Hollywood? Throw in a couple of really big names and some eye candy for the boys and girls and you've got a hit, right? Wrong! Wrong. A thousand times wrong.
I find it completely unnecessary to delve deeply into the plot of this movie because, well, the "plot" was a rampageous mess. Most of the scenes are cut before they feel like they are finished. It would appear, most of the time, that a character in a given scene is just about to say something when we're snapped to another scene with another mismatched pair.
Beware, below there are exorbitantly predictable spoilers. Dun dun dun
Dr. Harrison Copeland (Dempsey) plays a two-timer who is messing around with Julia (Garner) but happens to be married. He leaves Julia to go do heart surgery on Valentine's Day but actually goes to his palatial home where he greets his kid and wife. As he begins juggling for the youngin' his wife says, and I quote: "Doesn't daddy juggle well?" Barf. Later in the film, after Julia discovers the truth, she beats the candy out of heart-shaped piñata and then sits down huffing and puffing and says "Now that's open heart surgery." har har har.
Reed (Kutcher) proposes to his girlfriend, Morley (Alba) Valentine's Day morn, and is dumped by his new fiancé the same day. Kara (Biel) is planning her annual Valentine's Day haters party. Taylor Swift shouldn't quit her day job. Taylor Lautner shouldn't open his mouth
Sorry, I fell out of my chair and knocked myself unconscious on the boring plot that is still lingering in the room.
Readers, please
if you take only one piece of advice from me, let it be this: skip this movie. Skip it. Leap over it with all of your might. When you hit the ground on the other side, run as fast as you can.
To be fair, there is one endearing moment in this hodge podge of plot that juts out every which way. The cute young boy in the movie who can't help but be in love (did someone say Love Actually?) is in bed at the end of the film. After a 14-hour flight, his mother who has been away in the service, Captain Kate Hazeltine (Roberts), comes in. They share a warm embrace and this is the only one moment when I am actually feeling touched.What can I say? I'm a sucker for kids.
I am most thankful for the fact that Valentine's Day was only 125 minutes long. Had it been 126 minutes long, I would write off romcoms from here to eternity. From Here to Eternity
now that's a good movie.
The Fighter (2010)
The Fighter is a TKO with an A-plus cast
With all of the boxing movies already out there (Ali, Million Dollar Baby, Rocky, Cinderella Man and so on and so forth) why, pray tell, do we need another? They are all essentially telling the same story. A rise to fame or a fall from glory. What more can they do with the idea? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed The Fighter. I am not a fan of boxing in general, but I truly found myself becoming emotionally involved with the characters in this movie. There is so much heart that comes across.
Our hero is Mickey Ward (Mark Wahlberg). He grew up in Lowell, Massachusetts where he learned everything he knows about boxing from his brother Dicky Eklund (Christian Bale). His mother and manager, Alice Ward (Melissa Leo) is obsessed with her boys fighting and wants them to be the greatest. After all, in his heyday, Dicky knocked down Sugar Ray Leonard. This is his big claim to fame and we hear about it at least one hundred times in the first half hour of the film. Dicky Eklund, the pride of Lowell.
When Mickey is entered into a fight against someone nearly twice his size because his original opponent falls ill, he is embarrassed and walks away from everyone and everything with one exception: Charlene Fleming (Amy Adams). As someone who has seen Enchanted more times than any sane person with most of their functioning brain cells left, I had a pretty squeaky-clean image of Amy Adams in my mind. She acted the hell out of an otherwise understated role and did it with all the strength of a woman who doesn't take guff from anyone.
Charlene and Mickey start dating, much to the chagrin of Mickey's sisters and mother who think she is just going to distract him. My favorite is when they dub her the "MTV girl" which means that she is wild. Mickey's sisters
what can one say about this group of girls? With big hair, blue eye shadow, and a beer/cigarette in hand at any given moment, they are one tough crowd to please. See if you can pick out Kate O' Brien, Conan O' Brien's sister, in the group.
But I digress
Charlene has Mickey's best interests at heart and tries to get him back on track to becoming a great fighter and maybe winning a title. With Dicky Eklund running around and getting into all sorts of shenanigans, Mickey has to focus on himself long enough to forget about his crazy brother and get back in the ring.
Christian Bale gives a spot-on performance. His likability in this film is a constant up and down. I found at one point I had genuine disdain for him. To me, this is one of the signs of a great actor. I don't know who he is in real life, though I've heard stories — "No, Bruce. Let me finish." — but he worked my range of emotions here and came out on top.
One of my favorite characters in the film was George Ward (Jack McGee). He brings a levelheadedness to an prodigiously chaotic situation.
Like I said, this movie oozes heart and is packed with tremendously talented actors. Sure to get a look from the Academy, The Fighter is one of the best from 2010.
(Search mssilverscreen for more of my reviews)
The Iron Giant (1999)
The Iron Giant: I dare you to dislike this movie...
The Iron Giant is a movie that I can watch time and time again and never tire of. This one sits high on a pedestal with The Little Mermaid and Lilo & Stitch as one of my favorite animated features. I am going to skip spoiler warnings here because, well, if you haven't seen this by now, then shame on you.
A lone man in a boat in the middle of a terrible storm with hulking waves thrashing him from side to side cries desperately into a radio for help. As he is starting to lose hope, he glances up and spots an illumination in the sky. Saints be praised! It's a lighthouse! A brief moment of rejoicing is quickly extinguished by terror when he realizes that this light is no safe haven, but they eyes of a towering metal man.
Miraculously, the man makes it out of this little pickle alive and goes to the local diner where he tells everyone his tale. With guffaws of disbelief, his audience implies that what the man saw came from the bottom of a bottle, if you catch my meaning.
At a nearby table, a wide-eyed Hogarth Hughes (Eli Marienthal) is listening to the man's story. Also listening in is Dean McCoppin who is voiced by Harry Connick Jr. He peeks over the wall to vouch for the man, only to be laughed at as well.
Single mom to Hogarth, Annie Hughes (Jennifer Aniston), is hard at work waiting tables. Hogarth and Dean meet and are fast friends. Dean is a cool cat and is always calm and collected. Hogarth has a wild imagination and while he would love to do what his mother asks of him, he manages to do the opposite quite often.
Hogarth is home alone that night while mom works late. The curious young man ventures out into the night to investigate suspicious activity and is awestruck to find the same humongous metal man from earlier. Incredibly, Hogarth saves the iron giant from doom.
The following day, Hogarth bikes off to the woods in an attempt to find this new friend. He places a piece of sheet metal, the giant's favorite snack, out as bait. After dozing off, he is awoken by a loud noise. The metal is gone. He turns around to see that he has done what he came to do. Afraid at first, Hogarth runs, but quickly realizes that the iron giant means him no harm.
Hogarth must teach his metal friend, voiced by Vin Diesel that guns are bad and that he doesn't have to be one, even though he is equipped with some major fire arms. Without a place to hide him and no food for him to eat, Hogarth takes the iron giant over to Dean's pad. Dean is an artist who deals mostly with large metal sculptures. "I mean, what am I? A junkman who makes art or an artist who sells junk? You tell me." So you see, he has lots of metal sitting around. Perfect for snacking.
Meanwhile, after reports of spotting the giant, a call is made and fast-talking government agent Kent Mansley (Christopher McDonald) rushes right over to get to the bottom of things. With his initial disbelief, Kent spends his time making quips about the small town. Gems like "The biggest thing in this town is probably the homecoming queen." After a close encounter with a car that appears to be bitten in half, Kent catches on to the situation. He knows that Hogarth is hiding the iron giant and won't stop until he is discovered and destroyed.
The movie is full of funny and endearing moments. A couple personal favorites include the scene in which Hogarth, Dean, and the iron giant go swimming. When the giant robot does a cannonball into the lake, hilarity ensues. The heart-to-heart scene that Hogarth has with the iron giant about death is also heart-warming. "Souls don't die." When eventually the iron giant is discovered by the government, despite Hogarth's best efforts to tell them that he is harmless, Kent insists that they blow him to smithereens anyway. Hogarth tries to get a handle on the situation, but Kent — in a fit of madness — presses the obligatory big red button and launches a bomb that will destroy the giant, the town, and everyone in it.
When it seems that all hope is lost, the iron giant bids his buddy Hogarth a fond farewell, shoots off into the sky, and collides with the bomb, saving everyone from certain death.
Flash-forward. Annie and Dean are admiring what she says is his best work yet. A sculpture of the iron giant. Hogarth is given the only piece of the giant that was recovered, and is delighted when it lights up and jumps out the window. He knows the iron giant can self-repair and waves goodbye, hoping he'll see the iron giant again someday.
Sweet. Funny. Touching. I really can't say enough good about this movie. I double dog dare you to make it through this one with dry eyes.
(Search mssilverscreen for more of my reviews)
True Grit (2010)
True Grit, truly great.
Joel and Ethan Coen have a tendency to make great films. Under any other circumstances I would not have been interested in seeing a western. However, with the Coen name attached to it, I found myself longing for saloons, shoot outs, horses, and tumbleweed.
Following in the footsteps of the 1969 Oscar winner starring John Wayne, True Grit follows the story of an impetuous young girl by the name of Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld). She is determined to find the man who killed her father and see that he is hanged. Mattie seeks out the rootin' tootinest U.S. marshal she can find to join her on a journey to see that justice is served.
Enter Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges). With a gruff voice, a bad attitude, and an eye patch, Rooster turns Mattie down when she approaches him with her request that they set out together. After she tracks him down in an outhouse, a court-house, and the back of an Asian market, stinking of whiskey and unable to roll his own cigarette, he caves.
Set to meet with Rooster the following morning, Mattie wakes up to a pipe smoking LeBoeuf (Matt Damon) watching her sleep. He's come to offer his assistance in the slaying of Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), whom he has been after for quite some time. Mattie, being the hard-nosed 14-year-old she is, firmly declines. She already has all the help she needs. Or does she? The day Mattie embarks on her journey, things get interesting and the movie takes off from there. In a story full of classic western charm, everything falls perfectly into place. Jeff Bridges is a hard one to read. Is he the good guy? Is he the bad guy? Is he really helping Mattie? All of these questions circle in my mind as the plot thickens.
With an all-star cast and a few Coen brother favorites, the dialogue rolls along smoothly and Bridges is perfectly timed. His ability to be comic relief and the tough cowboy type simultaneously is uncanny. For a film like this, it would be difficult to write a lot about it and give very little away.
I will say that Matt Damon shines as does newcomer Hailee Steinfeld. Her performance is reminiscent of a young Tatum O' Neal in Paper Moon which won her an Oscar at 10 years old.
Coen standby Josh Brolin is fantastic, as usual. Barry Pepper, looking very menacing, has a short but very sweet role.
True Grit has plenty of grit and delivers a superb movie-going experience. Jeff Bridges is sure to give the best actor nominees at the Academy Awards a run for their money. Saddle up and get to the theaters to see this one pronto, partner.
Toy Story 3 (2010)
Toy Story 3
Disney and Pixar have done it again. Toy Story 3 opens with an action packed scene in the old west with all of the old classics. Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Hamm, Slinky Dog, Rex, Jessie, Buzz, and of course, Woody. The suspense is at its peak when we are taken to Andy's bedroom. He is a little boy and he is just as we remember him from years ago. Flash-forward via camcorder montage to present day. Andy is getting ready to go off to college and the first thought I have is "My, how you've grown! You've gotten so big!" As if I were watching a real child grow up and go off to school.
The toys are in remarkably good shape considering it's been ages since we've seen them last. In the same old toy box from the days of yore, the group is devising a plan to get their kid, Andy, to want to play with them again. If they are very lucky, they will get to accompany him to college. In a clever trick using the house phone and Andy's cell phone, the toys make one last-ditch effort to gain back the love Andy once had for them.
When faced with the question of what he wants to do with those old toys, Andy tosses Woody in a box marked "College" but puts the rest of the toys in a black garbage bag. While Andy's original intentions were to take the toys up to the attic, an inevitable turn of events leaves the toys on the curb, dreadfully awaiting the garbage man. Woody races to their rescue and is swept up in the mix and taken with the rest of his comrades to be donated to daycare.
Upon arrival, the group is welcomed by the other toys with open arms. Lotso, the huggin' strawberry-scented bear, comes out to act as tour guide for the toys and acts just as sweet as he smells. With his buddy for life, Big Baby, he shows the toys around and promises them that they will be played with everyday from here on out. The clan is filled with glee at the thought of being played with and start to accept this new reality.
Woody wants to stand by his kid because even though the rest of the group believes that Andy intended to throw them away, Woody knows it was all a big misunderstanding and that Andy really does love them.
Throughout the rest of the movie, the audience meets a slew of new characters, some friend and some foe. Notable voices include the charter members of the movie. Tom Hanks as Woody, Tim Allen as Buzz, Don Rickles as Mr. Potato Head, Wallace Shawn as Rex, John Ratzenberger as Hamm and Laurie Metcalf as Andy's Mom. Some of the same from the second installment return as well. Estelle Harris as Mrs. Potato Head, Joan Cusack as Jessie, and my girl Jodi Benson as Barbie. The same Jodi Benson who voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid and more recently played Robert's assistant in Enchanted. I was simply ashamed of myself for not picking out her voice before the credits rolled.
Newcomer to the trilogy, Ken, is voiced by Michael Keaton. Ken is dimwitted and hilarious and a welcome addition to the movie. One of my favorite bits in the film was when the team has to help Buzz come to his senses and discover a highly comical defect in his factory settings.
Get your tissues ready, ladies and gentlemen, because my eyes were not dry at the end of this delightful little romp. The movie is fun, touching, full of laughs, and will surely remind you of those dusty old toys in your attic.
Chloe (2009)
Chloe is lackluster at best.
What do you get when you take a suspicious wife, a vacant husband, a scoundrel of a son, and a Jezebel? You get Chloe. The only good thing about this movie was that it eventually comes to an end. Getting to the end was tiresome. Julianne Moore plays Catherine Stewart, a gynecologist who lives in abundance. Her office is beautiful with sprawling views of Toronto. Her house is simply absurd in its luxuriousness. Her husband, David Stewart (Liam Neeson), is a college professor. He appears preoccupied much of the time.
The film opens with Chloe (Seyfried) dressing in front of a mirror. A voice-over tells us that she is essentially a call girl who can make your wildest dreams come true. The predictability in this film is overwhelming. The so-called "plot twists" are visible from miles away. This movie might have been a good idea had it been executed properly. Unfortunately for the audience, that is not the case. Director Atom Egoyan either tried too hard or didn't try at all. Perhaps he thought that having a young beauty, a vintage beauty, and Liam Neeson would carry the film all by itself. Whoops.
So Catherine throws a big surprise party for David. Only, David "accidentally" missed his flight home from wherever it was that he was teaching that night. Uh huh. The following day, Catherine finds David's cell phone and a text message from one of his young students that reads "Thanks for last night." Ominous, I guess. Basically the movie is trying really hard to make us believe that David is cheating. Meanwhile, Catherine is dealing with her son, Michael (Max Thieriot) whose role in the movie is essentially pointless. He won't listen to a word his mother says and I don't believe we see him interact with dad even once.
Feeling hopeless and lost, Catherine seeks out Chloe, who she's seen going into the hotel next door to her office with her clients. She pays Chloe to seduce her husband and see if he will take the bait. The rest of the movie is Chloe and Catherine arranging secret meetings to discuss what happens when Chloe meets with David. Listening to Amanda Seyfried describe what her character and David do together is disturbing at best. She has the face of a 12-year-old and the voice to match. The graphic detail coming from the baby-faced Seyfried was too much and simply off-putting.
Big time spoilers coming up. If you haven't seen this waste of time and still want to, don't read on.
After Chloe meets Catherine in a hotel room claiming to have just slept with David there, Catherine loses all the marbles she had left and subsequently hops into bed with Chloe. Shocker. Not. The scene is unsettling at best. Afterwards, the two hop in a cab together and Catherine goes home. She comes in late and apparently this automatically means to David that she has been, without a doubt, cheating on him. They get into a big fight blah, blah, blah.
Catherine calls Chloe and asks that she meet her. Waiting for Chloe with a snifter in hand, Catherine greets David whom she has called away from work for this meeting. Chloe walks in and as she is approaching the table where her lady-love is seated, she sees David is there too. David turns around to see who his wife is staring at and doesn't flinch. Surprise! He has no idea who Chloe is! Chloe made it all up! I gently placed my head in my hands at this moment and wept for the person who pitched this idea and the other person who agreed to it.
Chloe then runs right over to the Stewart household where Michael is strumming his guitar. He glances up, sees her, and the two make their way up to the master bedroom. Meanwhile, Catherine comes clean to David and they reconcile. Yay. He has to go finish up at work and she hurries home to wait for him. She walks in to find a sleeping Chloe in her bed with her son. In a desperate attempt to give the movie a twisted ending, Chloe and Catherine argue and thankfully, finally Chloe manages to fall out the window and die. Huzzah! Julianne Moore now has two strikes in my book. One for The Kids Are All Right and one for this wretched excuse for a film. Liam Neeson gets a pass because this movie was filmed right around the time that his wife passed and I normally enjoy his work. It would've been wise to replace him with someone else if possible. Amanda Seyfried has yet to blow me away in a role and that stands true after this mess. Yikes.
The King's Speech (2010)
The King's Speech: Sublime, indeed.
This is the story of King George VI and the speech impediment that very nearly got the best of him. Seeking elocution lessons that will remedy his stutter, the Duke of York is faced with hopelessness. Nothing appears to be helping. His adoring wife, Elizabeth, is by his side through lesson after lesson. A lesson in which he is told to fill his mouth with marbles and read from a book ends in frustration as he is losing patience and his proverbially marbles.
Elizabeth gets wind of someone she thinks might be able to help her downtrodden husband. The two meet with Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) and the first session is not exactly a promising one. The Duke of York — Bertie, as he is known to his family — is manifestly troubled by this, but goes back to meet with Lionel anyhow. The connection between Lionel and Bertie is instant. One would imagine them to be the best of friends.
The sessions go on and we are treated to a brilliant training montage in which the audience gets to see gentle improvements and a friendship, too. The good doctor knows all kinds of tricks to cure the stammer. One of my favorites is the singing. When you sing, you don't stall.
With his father, King George V (Michael Gambon) ailing and likely to pass sooner rather than later, Bertie and his brother Edward (Guy Pearce) brace themselves for the loss and for new rule of the United Kingdom. Edward takes the throne to become King Edward VIII. Shortly thereafter, King Edward VIII abdicates the throne leading to the sudden and reluctant ascension of King George VI.
Facing the dawn of World War II, it is now of paramount importance that Bertie overcome his troublesome stutter and take his place as King by warning his country that they are at war with Germany.
I have to say that of all of the times we see Lionel and Bertie working together, the parade of profanities is one of the most entertaining. There are many times where the audience gets to see the more human, less regal side of Bertie. Take note of the story that he tells to his daughters, the relationship he shares with Elizabeth, and the darling friendship he builds with Lionel. At one point, Lionel tells Bertie that he was sublime after a lesson. I'd say they are both sublime.
Director Tom Hooper has a real gem on his hands here. With immaculate A-plus performances from Colin Firth as Bertie, Geoffrey Rush as Lionel, and Helena Bonham Carter as the exquisite Queen Elizabeth, Hooper was set up for success and ran with it.
Full of classic architecture, great halls, and marvelous costumes, The King's Speech radiates excellence and has Oscar written all over it.
(www . mssilverscreen . com)
Despicable Me (2010)
Despicable Me
It seems to me that with every year we get smarter, funnier animated features. Those just for the kiddos, and those for kids and adults alike. Despicable Me is amusing for all ages. I love a good change of heart plot. In Despicable Me, the hilarious Steve Carell voices Gru. Gru is an evil genius of sorts who is being shown up by someone who keeps getting to all of the good heists before he can.
In an effort to get the spotlight back, Gru goes to the bank to get a loan for his newest project: shrinking and stealing the moon, of course. While at the bank we meet Vector. Vector (Jason Segel) is obnoxious and appears immature and incapable of being a great villain.
After being turned down by the bank, Gru discovers that Vector is miraculously the one behind the latest great heists. In order to infiltrate Vector's lair, Gru seeks out the girls he saw selling cookies at Vector's house. They live in a local orphanage and are adopted by Gru to carry out his master plan.
Margo, Edith, and Agnes (Voiced in order by Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, and the extra adorable Elsie Fisher) come to live with Gru and you can imagine what happens then. Picture it: three young girls in the house of an evil genius. With weapons, ray guns, potions, and trap doors at every turn there is plenty of mischief for them to get into.
Let's not forget the minions. The minions are many and they are all over the place causing trouble and acting as guinea pigs to Gru and Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand) as they build their rocket ship.
Despite his best efforts, Gru starts to become attached to the little girls. Particularly enjoyable is the scene where Gru takes the girls to an amusement park. Agnes, who had a little stuffed unicorn that was disintegrated when the girls arrived at Gru's house, sees another, much bigger stuffed unicorn and shouts "He's so fluffy I'm gonna die!" I hope I'm not ruining anything for anyone, but Gru wins the unicorn for little Agnes.
Adorable, I know.
No kids movie would be complete without some sort of gas-passin' joke. This one comes in the form of a gun that when fired emits a large greenish cloud and makes a farting sound, to which Gru says "I said dart gun, not
" well, you get it.
With laughs, warm fuzzies, bad guys, cute kids, and little green minions, Despicable Me gets the recipe for a great animated film just right. Bon Appétit!
(www . mssilverscreen . com)