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matteo-coppolaneri
Reviews
Fallout (2024)
Tired of bad scripts
Yes it's Fallout, yes the visuals are great, yes they got the theme almost right... but come on, like every series in the last 10 years this one also has horrible writers, cliches, pre-made dialogues, scenes that are copypasted from other shows, etc etc.
It gets annoying. The first Lucy scene opens up with the stupid-plot written all over it. Plot holes, logical things that nobody does because it would break the super thin credibility they want to create with the story. Yayy external visitors! But they all smell, they look bad, their manners are questionable. Nobody raise a question, but then the girl finds out they got radiation on them. So... nobody did a check before? They all had their pipboys on, were they all broken?
This is the disney version of fallout, where bad guys are extremely recognisable by the audience so they can scream "oh nooo watch oooout!"
But I'm too old for this stuff, and that's why I liked the plot in the games: it wasn't straight black and white, it wasn't predictable, it was gritty and adult and always looking in the shades of grey.
Modern streaming shows are all like this, and I can't stomach them anymore.
The Man from Earth (2007)
Basically a feature-long Twilight Zone episode.
I'm talking about the Twilight Zone remake from 1985 of course. It's basically like watching a long episode from that series. Same low-value TV production, almost completely absent photography, stereotyped intellectual/nerd characters who are all prestigious professors who love Bach and make European-culture jokes and that watch Star Trek (!!).
None of the characters were remotely likeable, the dialogues were quite cringey, the responses of the characters to the challenges of the story were not so realistic and I think often overreacted.
So okay, production value is terrible, but the idea is good, right?
It is, but it's very raw and opens itself to a LOT of plot holes.
1) you're really telling me that a man, who has lived 14,000 years, has never fell from the stairs? Never got into a war, or a fight? Never stumbled or got into a car crash or train accident? Seriously? I can get behind the super-immune system, but come on, surely he must have gone to war at least once, or got into a fight, or mugged by bandits, or bit by wildlife... it's EXTREMELY improbable that someone can survive 14,000 years without dying if he's not completely immortal.
2) lots of the informations given in the story are completely false or myths. Like, some cells never regenerate, like nervous system cells. Do you drink whiskey for 14,000 years? Well it's probable you won't have a brain anymore by the end of it.
Also, jesus didn't exist, the dead sea scrolls tell us protochristians were a bunch of fanatics and that jesus probably was impersonating the two leaders of the cult: the physical, violent leader (that kicked the merchants from the temple) and the charismatic, spiritual leader (that talked to the masses on the hills). For a movie that bets everything it has on its knowledge of human history, it seems very superficial.
3) seriously? Friends with Van Gogh, sailed the americas with Columbus, disciple of Buddha, and being jesus himself? I also find this extremely improbable.
All in all a decent movie with a great idea, but it's been developed poorly.
Amsterdam (2022)
Was it the directing, or the editing?
At the end of this movie, I was left baffled. The cast was stellar, and had great performances. The story had a lot of unexpressed potential... but the movie was excessively quirky and ultimately fell flat to me.
So why was it?
Was it the directing, that couldn't focus coherently on the plot, without adding useless and weird details?
Or was it the not so great editing, that made some of the dialogues between the actors feel artificial?
At the end, the movie just felt strange. It lacked direction, introduced too many weird and wannabe-funny characters in a plot that probably required a more serious and straightforward approach.
Christian Bale an absolute master though, as usual.
Prank Encounters (2019)
Completely staged.
Embarrassing. The victims are all (bad) actors, and you can see in the mirrors and reflections the cameramen wandering around the room. Complete garbage.
Seinto Seiya: Knights of the Zodiac (2019)
Garbage
I watched it knowing it was a remake targeted for children, but what they've done is way worse. This is garbage, boring and confused, the plot is a complete mess. The americanization of the original story is irritating, a shady army general with choppers and special military teams is the villain against the Knights that have now become marvelian superheroes in the flattest way. Seiya keeps on saying stupid jokes in very anticlimactic moments. the animations are horrible, I've seen PS2 games done better.
I can't save ANYTHING from this badly done pile of crap, not even the cover version they've done of the original, glorious theme "Pegasus Fantasy". Even that one came out cheap.
Annihilation (2018)
It's a metaphor, you guys!
I'm writing this just because I see a lot (more close to ALL!) of reviews that are completely missing the point.
I too was annoyed by the plot holes and the inconsistencies of the script, like sending an inexperienced team in a suicide mission, radio won't work but nobody brings a cable with them, no tethers, etc.
Then I got to the end of the movie and realized the film is a gigantic metaphor for cancer. They LITERALLY enter a tumor, like if it was the Earth herself to have grown a cancer and we see all things that happen from cancer growth, how each person face it or fights it, and how it is ultimately alien, but still a part of yourself.
Watch the movie again with this in mind, and you'll be definitely more able to appreciate its finesse.
Orphan Black (2013)
A missed opportunity
I loved the show, especially Maslany's acting, but I feel like the writers have lost a huge opportunity here on some ethical and philosophical debate on science, human trials, cloning, etc.
These are all topics that of course get thrown in the show, but everything is clearly delineated by an ethical clarity of what's good and what's bad. There's no space for reflection, and even when some arguments leave space for that, the writers make sure to abolish it completely by presenting some psychopathic, mad scientists. For some reason EVERYONE on this organization is completely mad, an assassin, or a cold scientist who does not care for their patients and just wants to get his "science" done for whatever reason.
There could have been a massive amount of interesting food for the mind in this show, is cloning right? is it wrong? what is the limit of pursuing scientific and technological advancement? But no, let's have a stereotypical villain organisation made exclusively by corrupt people and manipulating sociopaths who also use deliberate assassins to play out their intentions, so that the audience will clearly see what's good and what's bad.
It's almost like they were scared to touch these points, like they used this as the background for a more common story plot. We've got Blade Runner leaving us for 30 years reflecting on what synthetic life is and if "retiring" a clone is something good or bad to do, and here's Orphan Black's writers that know it all already. Really bummed out by this.
Anyway apart from this, S1 is great, S2 and S3 get a bit lost in their wandering, S4 is amazing and S5 starts good with this iconic figure of the bicentennial man only to turn it upside down in the space of a couple of hours.
DAMN I'M SO FRUSTRATED AT WHAT THIS STORY COULD HAVE BEEN IF TOLD PROPERLY!
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Call of Duty in space
I admit it's a review based on one episode - the only one available now - but if the whole series is based on these premises I won't be watching it. The whole plot - without any spoilers - is based on one and only concept: war. There's no exploration, no Federation prime directive, no wits, no philosophy, it's not even a commentary on how our society can grow into something better. there is literally NOTHING left of what made Star Trek great and so beloved by the fans.
The show portrays one concept and one concept only - which was a concept that the previous shows used in a very careful way: war. The dialogues are cringe-worthy, the characters uninspired so far and absolutely out of place.
The visual effects are probably the only thing to be saved from this disaster, but they're not enough to save it from boredom and still one step under the aesthetic pleasure of The Expanse.