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Reviews
American Pie 2 (2001)
A vast improvement upon the original. Still not a notch on films like "Porky's" though...
American pie 2 succeeds because all the soppy, sentimental slop from the first is absent. But one of the main problems with this film is that all the ridiculous, poorly developed character who serve as nothing but filler are still very much in place,. I mean, what on earth is Nadia doing in this film? She was a one dimensional character to begin with, and the ringed every possible gag from her already, so why bother to include her in the movie? A lot of the film is filled with problems like that, but at the end of the day it has enough funny bits still included to actually be very funny! The scene where the two girls make the guys kiss is the best in this average film!
Gettin' Square (2003)
What on earth went wrong? This film fails at everything!!
For starters, it is completely unoriginal, attempting to borrow from such movie as Get Shorty, Lock Stock and two smoking barrels and so forth. Even though it blatantly steals ideas and concepts from them, it still fails because the plot is so incoherent with no leading character. It is an ensemble cast, and no single character gets enough screen time for the audience to feel emotionally attached to a particular person. The plot makes no sense at all, but the writer seems to be revelling in his self-proclaimed brilliance through the inclusion of many in jokes that the cast seem to find funny, injokes that just leave the audience confused and bored. The 90 minutes plus running time seems like hours for this dull crime comedy that fails at everything it attempts to do.
Wimbledon (2004)
Cinema has officially plunged to uncharted depths. The worst "romantic comedy" in history!
Wimbledon has absolutely nothing going for it. Sans Kirsten Dunst and Sam Neill it has a no-name cast, a completely ridiculous, clichéd boring plot and poorly developed characters. Trying all too hard to be in the same light as films like "Notting Hill", the first mistake this film makes is delivering completely implausible situations for the two leads to meet under, and a completely contrived romance that somehow stems from that. The antagonist in this film is not developed enough, nor is the lead's parents, who switch character in every scene they are in, ranging from kooky mysterious folks a little on the warped side to down and out parents pathetically trying to relive their youth through their offspring. Sam Neill starts off in the film as a bad guy, a father who refuses to allow the romance to stem between his daughter and the protagonist, to a supporting father who supports it. What stems his change of heart is never explained, nor are most of the ridiculous aspects of this movie. Boring and bland, this film should not be viewed by anyone.
Cheers (1982)
Greatest sitcom of all time!
Cheers is timeless! You would imagine a show about people sitting around a bar getting drunk would be morbidly depressing, but nothing could be farther from the truth when it came to Cheers! A happy, optimistic, brilliant sitcom about real people and real situations in this glorious situation comedy! Shelley Long was the true highlight of this show, and her uptight, neurotic, Diane Chambers carried virtually every single episode, and when she left the show went downhill! It was still great, but nothing could ever compensate for Diane! A great show, this sitcom will remain for years! It just gets better and better every time you watch it!
Death Becomes Her (1992)
Worth seeing on the strength of Bruce Willis' truly unique performance alone!
Bruce Willis usually gets typecast as a strong, macho man so it was such a surprise to see him play an introspective, under the thumb wimp in this movie, in one of his best performances! Willis easily outshines both Streep and Hawn in this movie. This is a pure black comedy, a brilliant social satire on society's obsession with beauty and the sheer lengths some people will go to to ensure that they are continually perceived by others in the most attractive light possible. Truly a once in a lifetime experience this movie, with Bruce Willis giving one of his most underrated performances ever! You'll laugh and be horrified at the same time, which is an extremely difficult feat, which was only pulled off by a skilled writer and director.
Election (1999)
The most wonderful, brilliant, innovative social satire ever filmed!
The writer of this film notched onto a great idea. Attack the corruption of contemporary politics, but to avoid any backlash, he set all the back-stabbing and hatred in a typical High School. The end result is an amazing film that you cannot take your eyes off.
Reese Witherspoon plays the pro-active Tracey Flick, a real go-getter who wants to achieve the world, and in her own mind set it does not matter who she steps over to achieve her goal because the end justifies the means. Witherspoon is perfect as the neurotic Flick, hot off a High School sex scandal, who is trying to start over and win afresh.
Jessica Campbell as the apathetic Tammy really shines throughout. She is the high point of the film. Apart from being dead set gorgeous, she is a truly talented, amazing young star who should use this film as a showcase of her amazing talent.
An exceptional film, not to be missed. It's real strength is the fact that despite being a satire on contemporary politics it also entertains throughout, and if you put your brain on hold you can avoid thinking to much about the symbolism contained within and just have a great time and the fictionalised world the writer has created for us.
The Thing from Another World (1951)
A prime example of a low budget shocker that succeeds due to a fantastic script and top performances!
"The Thing from another world" is the pinnacle of 1950s horror movies. It is not one of those cheap exploitation pictures that cashed in on the publics fear of atomic energy, no, this film actually takes itself seriously and manages to scare the hell out of the audience in the process. So many future sci-fi/horror movies were influenced by this one, most notably the original "Alien". Gorgeous production design and great performances help to carry the story along, a story that concerns an isolated arctic base and the people there who have to deal with a very unwelcome visitor. Definitely holds your suspense throughout. The zenith of all horror movies to come out of the fifties
Batman and Robin (1949)
Excruciating! An awful serial that leaves nothing to the imagination!
there is no suspense in this serial! When one episode ends the acting is so shoddy, the effects are so poor and the script is so awful that the last thing on your mind is how Batman and Robin will save the day. No, in fact, the last thing on your mind is watching the next episode! This show is so boring that I can't see how it ever got made, let alone released on DVD! Obviously the effects are not up to par with contemporary Batman films, but even the script is awful. An incoherent babbling mess about some evil professor and a ray gun or something like that, I am not quite sure, because it is too awful to follow. Watch the 60s version, or the 90's versions, or even Batman Begins, just anything over this version!
Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
Dean ain't Marlon Brando, but he's great in his own right! A great film!
It is a cop-out to view this film in light of the three main actors tragic deaths, that came well before their time. Sal Mineo, Natalie Wood and of course James Dean all seemed destined for great things, and this film truly showcases what phenomenal talent and dramatic prowess the three of them possessed. This film is a landmark movie in so many ways it is virtually impossible to cover all of its bases in one short review. What can be said about it? It was the first film to portray teenagers from well to do families as also being deeply unhappy. Prior to this movie, all movies that portrayed restless youth were always from the "slums", which is why they were going against the law. Not in this movie - the neglect of Jim Stark's parents causes his unhappiness. What else can be said - this film features an absolutely phenomenal performance by dean - he was truly destined for stardom. Sal Mineo is outstanding as Jim best friend, Plato, who may or may not be a homosexual, as the film hints at. This film is a landmark in so many ways it really can't be expressed in words - you just have to see it for yourself.
The Lost World (1925)
I love it! It just gets better every time you see it!
"The Lost World" is beautifully crafted and perfect! Just perfect! Lewis Stone is perfectly cast as the hero who goes to the island on a rescue mission, only to be attacked by legions of dinosaurs! The dinosaurs look beautiful, and the stop motion animation is simply marvellous! Lewis Stone is certainly in a different role to Judge Hardy, but he pulls it off well! The effects are to die for, and the script is perfect! The inter titles explain everything well, but the acting is just so great that they are not even necessary! It is just perfect! While it not be as grand as films like "Jurassic Park" once you see it in its full historical context, you see just how brilliant it really is!
Jersey Girl (2004)
What happened Kevin? How did you go from Jay and Silent Bob to this?
Jersey Girl is Smith's weakest film to date. Over sentimental, a poor script and truly horrific performances are all factors that mar this film and bring it down to new depths that Smith has never seen. Some of the jokes are just so awful I can't actually comprehend what was going on in Smith's mind when he wrote them - like Affleck and Tyler being caught having sex by a family member? What on earth? Is Smith really so creatively poor that he has to take one of the biggest clichés in motion picture history and insert it into a pivotal moment in what is meant to be a different style of film? After seeing this whole film you will see that the answer is yes! What a waste of time and effort!
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
It won't change your life, but if you want laugh after laugh non stop, this is the movie for you!
It is great to see Jay and Silent Bob graduate from supporting players in the other Kevin Smith movies to leading men! They are hilarious, and certainly funny enough to carry a movie. Many in jokes are included, and unless you have seen other Kevin Smith films, as well as the American Pie movies, and so many other films, you might not understand all the gags, but even if you don't the explicit gags are orchestrated so well that they easily compensate for the confusing implicit ones. Jason Mewes has real star potential, and I actually hope he makes a career out of performing, because he is just so good at it! He carries this film on the strength of his performance!
Desperate Housewives (2004)
TV has not been this could in years! Trashy, cheap and ridiculous story lines
and proud of it! Desperate Housewives is the ultimate soap opera! You would think there would be nothing at all interesting about a bunch of forty something housewives sitting around with each other moaning about their failed opportunities and what could have been, but it is actually very good viewing. The cast certainly work well with their roles, and the writing is actually competent. That's not to say that this show is faultless, not by any means, some of the aspects are just ridiculous like the dead woman who narrates and some of the dialogue is just plain awful. If there is nothing else on the box, you should watch this, but don't go out of your way to catch it. If you miss on or two episodes you can come back and find out that nothing has actually happened...
The Postcard Bandit (2003)
Even though the budget was obviously though, they could have at least tried!
Not even the slightest bit of anything resembling effort went into this film. The characters are one dimensional, the effects are shoddy and the acting is so awful that at times I thought I was watching a year 12 production of "dags" - the acting quality is much superior in that! While some of the events might be factual, that does not make them actually interesting, and this whole movie is more boring than watching paint dry! Even if the budget was bigger I have a sneaky suspicion that the movie would have been crap anyway, because it would not have changed the awful writing and poor performances! What a waste of all the effort involved!
How to Murder Your Wife (1965)
Truly awful Jack Lemmon movie, which tries to be a satire and fails!
After "Some Like It Hot" it seemed that every studio wanted Lemmon for every comedy under the sun. Sometimes he lucked out with films, but more often than not he made some really bad choices. This is a prime example of a truly awful choice on Lemmon's part. How to murder your wife take a good hour to even set up the film, and when he finally does end up getting married he spends the next forty-five minutes whinging about it. What is never actually explored is why exactly he would whinge being married to such a beautiful woman. Other scenes are played for laughs, and fail miserably - The scene at the start when all the guys cheer the person who is NOT getting married plays like a dream sequence and when it becomes apparent that it really happened in the film it all goes wrong. The court scene is just ridiculous, and the ending is unsatisfactory. One of Lemmon's worst films ever!
The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
Inoffensive so called comedy can't work out whether it wants to be heartwarming or humorous!
The end result is terribly uneven - it plays out like an awfully strange hybrid of a Porky's movie and a Beverley Hills 90210 episode. The lead actor is not funny in the least and some of the jokes are just so forced that you can't actually believe someone included them in the script. The waxing scene is the lowest point in this film which is full of low points! Not confronting enough to appeal to teenagers and not heartwarming enough to appeal to a more serious audience, this film will forever be in a kind of limbo and not be able to find a proper audience! Don't waste your time of this one, because there are so many other films out there that can tackle a subject like this one, and make it really funny and enjoyable!
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
A big improvement on the first movie. The film owes much to Woo's directing and Cruise's performance!
Mission Impossible 2 has all the ingredients that make a great action movie - Fantastic performances, outstanding special effects and hot chemistry between the two leads. It is often criticised that the plot is paper thin, but it is not meant to be a plot based movie - The plot revolves around some biological weapon that threatens the world and only Tom Cruise can stop it - And boy, does he pull off a fantastic performance in this film! From the brilliant car chase scenes to the saucy scenes between him and his co star, Tom Cruise carries this film. If Mission Impossible 3 will be half as good as this one, I really look forward to seeing it!
James Dean (2001)
James Dean's life story gets a TV movie of the week treatment. The results are often painful to watch
James Dean led a phenomenal life. Having achieved so much in only 24 years, it is an extremely hard task to document the most significant events of his life in just 90 minutes, but this film doesn't even try. It plays like a cheap soap opera, and portrays Dean as the lonely protagonist who just wants his fathers love and respect. Some aspects of this film seem pointless, if not insulting, like the character James Dean providing the narration for this film. The three films he appeared in are only skimmed over, and this film goes to great lengths to portray what a troubled soul Dean actually was, how he was haunted by demons of his own past, rather than the good things he actually did for the world of cinema. This is not to say that the film fails completely, not by any means. The actor playing Dean is well cast and gives an exceptional performance, and the production design is faultless. If you just want a cursory insight into James Dean then this film is the way to go. If you yearn to find out the real James Dean story then look elsewhere.
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
Rob Schneider tries too hard to be controversial, but the film is not as bad as some people make out.
If you have read the majority of reviews for this film, people will haver you believing that this film is the worst comedy to ever be made, but let me tell you, it is nowhere near as bad as that. Schneider actually tries his best to give a very entertaining performance in the title role, and often the gags actually work, although they are very offensive at times. Schneider appears to be having a great time in his role, and the supporting cast also give the film their best, and the film is never boring. It drags in certain parts, particularly when explaining redundant character back stories and the like, but Schneider always manages to carry the story on the strength of his performance. Well worth seeing. This film will by no means change the world of comedy, but if you want simple entertainment and nothing but, you could do a lot worse than this movie.
The Village (2004)
Another stinker from M. Night Shyamalan! This is his worst movie yet!!
Anyone who has seen a real thriller will be ten steps ahead of this film the whole time. Tthis film fails on every level that I don't even know where to begin criticising it. For one, it was marketed as a horror movie but instead plays like some lame as hell drama with the occasional horror element. Anyone familiar with Shyamalan's body of work will realise that he loves his twist endings, so they will see the twist ending (Two twists in fact) a mile off! Joaquin Phoenix delivers his worst performance to date, and despite the fact that there are some a grade actors in this film, they do little but stand around and spout poetry throughout. Sub plots concerning romance make no sense whatsoever and other sub plots are introduced just for the sake of it. This film is the worst movie by M. Night Shyamalan to date! You would have thought that after delivering a stinker like "signs" the only place to go was up, as you could not possibly make a film worse than that, but he has proved us all wrong! This film reeks!
The Brothers Grimm (2005)
Apart from the movie "Unbreakable" this film is the biggest let down yet...
The trailer looked so promising. It looked like a live action version of Shrek, and it looked like it would be both funny and scary! How wrong I was! The plot is ridiculous and could have been written by a five year old, the effects are more shoddy than in the 1914 version of The wizard of oz, the performances are so ridiculous that it actually defies comprehension and the director is so incompetent that I wonder how he ever actually got a job in the industry! Like the movie "Unbreakble" the trailer promised so much and delivered on none of it. Don't see this movie ever, not even for free. You'd have more fun hitting your head repeatedly against a brick wall!
Buffalo Soldiers (2001)
It's better than Jordan's "Ned Kelly" although that is hardly a great appraisal
Buffalo Soldiers is consistently entertaining, but the biggest problem within is that it can't work out whether it is meant to be a satire or a proper comedy. At times it is funny, but at other times awful events are meant to be played for laughs, which left me feeling very uncomfortable. Phoenix is well cast and he certainly gives a great performance, which leaves me confused as to how he could have accepted a crappy role in The Village after this. The supporting cast are good, but the whole film feels terribly uneven and I can't work out what the director is trying to tell us. Does he intend for this film to a satire about contemporary politics? If so, he does not explore all the possible satirical opportunities he could, and at times I am left just wondering where on earth the film is meant to be going.
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
Exceeded my expectations! It should exceed yours as well!
I was initially hesitant about viewing this movie, as it looked like another dull teen horror flick, along the same lines as "Urban Legend" and the endless supply of mundane Halloween movies. I was pleasantly surprised as Jeepers Creepers is nothing like those films at all and manages to both thrill and entertain. First things first, I was so relieved to find out in scene one that the two leads were playing brother and sister, as opposed to boyfriend and girlfriend. This immediately ruled out any possibility of the dull sexual tension and excruciating sex scenes that dominate the majority of teen slashers. The Creeper is really scary and is made scarier by the fact that you only ever catch glimpses of him, and never really see a good clear shot of him. The acting is actually decent, and the characters behave how real people would, not just like dumb jocks who want to save the world! A great movie and a welcome addition to the world of horror!
House of the Dead (2003)
I felt dead inside after being forced to sit through this movie!
My friend rented this piece of crap and begged me to watch it with him. I knew it would be bad, but I never ever could have imagined just how bad it could be! I mean it, there is no real plot and the zombies look so fake that at times I though I was watching a comedy instead of a horror. The actors look bored, and the filmmakers clearly have no respect for their audience - this is obvious from the way that the real life action is interspersed with footage from the video game on which this is based - almost as if they think the audience are so moronic that unless it is made explicit that this is based on a game they will not comprehend it. I almost didn't because the game was actually great fun and there is nothing fun at all about this film!
Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938)
The best of the entire Andy Hardy series, and that is sure saying a lot!
These low budget teen comedies practically carried MGM throughout the 30s and 40s. If they lost money on another movie, they would just invest in another Andy Hardy picture, and they would be guarantee a comfortable return on their investment. Out of all the Hardy films, this comedy of errors in the best. Mickey Rooney is in top shape as the girl crazy Andy Hardy, who winds up with more girls than he can handle. Ann Rutherford, Lana Turner and Judy Garland are all exceptional, and Judy busts out some memorable songs during this movie that will stick in your mind even when the movie is over. This movie is a reflection of more innocent times, the pre-WWII era of the world, where everyone was full of hope and dreams about what lay ahead in the world. Movies like this are rare and the people making contemporary teen comedies would do themselves a favour to watch this movie, amongst other Hardy pics, to see precisely what makes a good comedy. No foul language, no nudity, just a good solid story and great performers to carry it. Not to be missed. Now, I can only hope for an Andy Hardy box set on DVD.