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ShadeGrenade
'Golden Age Of Television? No It Was Not!'
The highbrow Fifties and Sixties represented broadcasting's zenith, runs the received wisdom. JAMES FLOPINSON begs to differ in an exclusive article you will be able to read in every other paper today...
Here we go again. Some toffee-nosed yesterday's man who used to front 'Panorama' tries to make a name for himself at the Edinburgh Festival by telling us how much 'better' British television was in the 'good old days'. Ho, ho, ho, say I to that. News has been dumbed down, documentaries sensationalised or pushed to the edges of the schedule, and lifestyle programmes dominate the listings. What twaddle! Reality T.V., says the chattering classes, is the blister on the big toe of the modern age, and how much better it was when we had 'The Ascent Of Man', 'Civilization' and 'The Christians'. What these people don't mention of course is that there were only three channels in Britain then. Why? Could not anyone count in those days? If the technology existed to create three channels, why was it not used to create loads more? Alright so there were no reality shows or makeover programmes, but hours of boring programmes showing old people how to play dominoes. None of these shows exists anymore, thank God, but how tedious it must have been for the discriminating viewer who loves to see sixteen year old girls jumping naked into swimming pools. There were huge gaps in the schedules until recently, which meant there was nothing on in the afternoons on B.B.C.-2 except those silly 'Trade Test Films' about homemade cars and cattle carters in Australia, while over on I.T.V. housewives watched 'Crown Court' and cried because it wasn't 'Loose Women'. Yes, there are fewer 'serious' programmes on primetime today. 'Johnny Go Home' could never be made now, and viewers can remain blissfully ignorant of the plight of homeless young people in London. Who remembers 'Market In Honey Lane', the number one show in April 1967? Well, I do, obviously, else I would not have mentioned it here, but millions don't. The news in those days was excruciatingly dull, consisting of a man in a suit sitting behind a desk reciting plain facts. Now we have tasty bimbos bestriding a set that looks like the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise, while jaunty music is used to pep up reports of earthquake disasters in India. We also no longer have inane stuff like 'On The Move' in which Bob Hoskins showed adults how to read. U.S. imports long ago lost their domination of primetime, now we have shows with clever titles like 'My Breasts Need A Firm Hand', '10 Most Embarrassing Things About Being Dead', 'Celebrity Blow Football' and 'Wudja Cudja Kickk Der Bukkit Fer Dosh?'. Saturday night schedules are better too, whereas people once watched 'The Black & White Minstrel Show' with its unmistakeable racial overtones, they can now watch repeats of 'Little Britain' with its unmistakeable racial overtones. Those expensive comedy spectaculars made by L.W.T. have long since been replaced by smug young men at desks cracking gags at the expense of '40's newsreel footage. Progress is a marvellous thing, isn't it? Many shows that would have been on B.B.C-1 in the Sixties are now on B.B.C.-4 where they get far fewer audiences. Just as many shows that are on B.B.C.-1 now will soon be on U.K. Gold where they too will get far fewer audiences. That is the way the game is played. Some B.B.C. executives pontificate about audience segmentation. I think this to be a good thing. Remember the bad old days when 28 milion people all saw the same show? How embarrassing it was to have to admit to your mates the next day you never saw it because your set had exploded? All that is now a thing of the past because nobody watches anything anymore. People get information on programmes from the Internet. Often before they are made. British viewers started a fan club for 'Heroes' before the ink was dry on the pitch document. The golden age of T.V. never existed. There is more now and much of it is far better, Just ask Davina McCall. In the words of Sixties Prime Minister Harold Macmillan 'fetch my shotgun, Dorothy. I'm off to the moor to bag a few grouse'.
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'When I Get Old'
A Funny Little Poem
When I get old
I'm going to have some fun.
I want to irritate, aggravate
and generally annoy everyone.
I'll wear flared trousers
Nylon cardigans, polka-dot cravats,
Tartan scarves, woollen mittens
Orange trousers with great green spats.
I'll throw eggs at The Mayor
Write to 'The Daily Mail'
Send fan mail to Pat Boone
And my loose change to 'Save The Whale'.
I'll go to Asda's and yell &Tesco!&
Donate my laundry to a charity shop
Then when they've washed it all
I'll go there and buy back the lot.
I'll hold up post office queues
By chatting to the staff.
Grow conifers in my front garden
Dump sacks of coal in my bath.
I'll argue with shop assistants
Over the price of a loaf
And when the manager intervenes
I'll call him a 'XXXX-ing oaf'.
I'll drink beer at �1 a pint
Grumble about the juke-box noise.
Jog drinkers' elbows
Pick fights with the rougher boys.
I'll brag about my army days
Even though I didn't serve.
Flash a chestful of plastic medals
Only when I'm old will I have the nerve.
I'll play dodgems with my Tesco trolley
Give dirty looks to unmarried mothers
Castigate disabled drivers
Wave my brolly angrily at all the others.
I'll go on the B.B.C.'s 'Question Time',
To demand that conscription and hanging be brought back.
Endorse the views of Richard Littlejohn
By calling for the Chancellor to get the sack.
When I get old
I want to be all the things I've never been.
A reactionary, a pain in the neck
Not moody, mot magnificent - just plain mean!
copyright Shade Grenade 2007
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Reviews
Young at Heart: Ashes to Ashes (1980)
Collyer pays his respects
More comedy with the Collyers.
Albert calls on Charlie, an old friend from way back. He has a nasty shock - Charlie has passed away and has been laid out in a coffin in his front room. Charlie's widow ( Peggy Aitchison ) invites Albert to the funeral. Never one to pass up the chance to imbibe free beer, Albert goes, taking his neighbour Norman ( David Neilson ). The only problem is the pair go to the wrong funeral...
Another edition of a show that strangely did not make it onto a Network DVD. The pairing of John Mills and Megs Jenkins ( both of whom had appeared together in the film 'The History Of Mr. Polly, which Mills produced ) was a good one, and David Neilson and Carol Leader provided support. Vince Powell was guilty of rehashing old comedy ideas; the important thing to remember is that they were strong to start with.
Funniest moment - Ethel and Albert making plans for the latter's funeral. She has a particular pub in mind, but he objects as he does not like the beer there. She reminds him he will not be in a position to drink it!
Grundy: What You Don't See, Ask For (1980)
Grundy shuts up shop
Grundy is perplexed to receive a package of pornographic magazines ( he must have been the only newsagent in the country not to sell them ) and sets about attempting to return them to their rightful owner, a shop called 'Boodles' which looks like the sort of place Charlie Endell ( of 'Budgie' fame ) used to run. He encounters the shop's owner, played by Stella Tanner, and she is up to more than just selling smutty magazines...
This final episode bears a strong similarity to the 1973 film 'No Sex Please We're British' ( which starred Ronnie Corbett ). The problem here is that there's little interaction between Grundy and Beryl, and it was this interaction that made the show work. She takes over the shop while Grundy is away, and manages to sell some of the dirty books to an excited city gent, played by John D. Collins.
Funniest moment - Grundy's encounter with a plain clothes policeman, played by Glynn Edwards. Murray quips "'ello, ello, ello!" and Grundy thinks the cop has said it!
Grundy: For Love or Money (1980)
Grundy debagged!
This episode opens with the startling sight of Sharon ( Julie Dawn Cole ) in her underwear. She was game for anything, our Julie; in an episode of the BBC's 'Poldark' series, she did a nude scene.
Grundy has received a letter telling him the lease on the shop is soon to expire; to renew it he must put up a hefty sum of money. He has not got this, so he wines and dines Beryl in the hope he can charm some cash out of her. She is, naturally, amused by Grundy's attempts at courtship. In the supermarket scene, one of the checkout girls is the lovely Rosie Collins, whose other credits include 'Shelley' and 'Victoria Wood; As Seen On TV'.
Funniest moment - Grundy gets drunk and begs Beryl for money. Then he passes out. When he wakes up, he is in her bed, and his trouser bottoms are missing! ( i must mention Lynda Baron, who looks gorgeous here, and indeed in the rest of the series ).
Grundy: Hands Across the Table (1980)
Beryl's birthday
Beryl is surprised when Grundy sends her a birthday card ( actually, its an old christmas card with the goodwill message crossed out ). Grundy surprises her further by asking her to dinner at a fashionable restaurant. Is he warming to her at last?
Nice to see the characters evolving over the course of the series, not just doing the same thing over and again ( a curse of many sitcoms ). Grundy thinks he can convert Beryl to his puritanical view of the world; she thinks she can do the same to him. Watching from a distance are 'Murray' ( Beryl's son, played by David Janson ) and 'Sharon' ( Grundy's daughter, played by Julie Dawn Cole ), The gay waiter is Alec Bregonzi, who for many years read aloud viewers' letters on the BBC's 'Points Of View'.
Funniest moment - mistakenly thinking that Beryl's ex-husband is coming to the restaurant, Grundy crawls under a table and moves off, taking a couple of dinners with him!
Grundy: Saturday Night Fervour (1980)
Beryl falls for Grundy
It is Saturday night, and Grundy plans on spending the evening in front of the television, watching a film about nuns. Wholesome family entertainment. Sharon is planning to go on a date with Murray. Her dad is not happy about it, but lets her go on the grounds she comes home early. Grundy gets a phone call from Beryl; she wants to see him. He relents. On her way to the shop ( curiously, it looks like Arkwright's in 'Open All Hours', which Lynda Baron also appeared in ), Beryl trips and falls, grazing her leg. Grundy fishes out an old first-aid kit, and prepares to administer treatment...
Some good interplay here between Corbett and Baron, not unlike that from the film 'Rattle Of A Simple Man', in which Corbett appeared with Diane Cilento.
Funniest moment - Beryl using a mop to support herself as she limps around the shop, reminding Grundy of Long John Silver.
Grundy: We Can't Go on Meeting Like This (1980)
Library laughs
The second episode of 'Grundy' opens in the newsagents' owned by the man himself. He finds three library books of a salacious nature ( they'd been taken out by his wife Vera ) and sets out to discreetly return them.. He wraps the books up and leaves them behind a radiator. Beryl arrives and attempts to continue her seduction of Grundy. The parcel is discovered, and panic ensues. Could it be a bomb?
One problem this show had at the time was that repeats of 'Steptoe & Son' were still going out on the BBC, meaning in effect that Corbett was competing against himself. 'Grundy' stood no chance. The late Barbara New, seen here, later appeared in the underrated "you Rang, My Lord!".
Funniest moment - Grundy picks up the 'bomb' and the people in the library applaud his bravery. Unfortunately, he then knocks it onto the floor!
Grundy: First Encounters of a Close Kind (1980)
When Harry met Beryl
Back in 1980, we could not have known that 'Grundy' would turn out to be Harry H. Corbett's final sitcom. Had we known this, is possible we might have been more charitable towards it. It no 'Steptoe & Son', but, taken on its own terms, is not too bad. We first see Leonard Grundy emerging from the divorce court in a state of shock. His wife Vera has finally found another man, ending thirty years of marriage. He meets up with daughter 'Sharon' ( the lovely Julie Dawn Cole ) and they board a train. While Sharon goes off to the dining car, Grundy finds himself alone with an attractive woman, 'Beryl Loomis', played by the late Lynda Baron, of 'Open All Hours' fame. Grundy opens up to her. He is a 'Daily Mail' editorial come to life. He blames the breakdown of his marriage on the 'permissive society'. Grundy and Lord Longford would have gotten along famously. The Tories felt there was too much freedom around in 1979 and promised to curtail it if they won that year's election ( which they did ). The term 'permissive society' was used in the same context as 'woke' is today. It was right-wing shorthand for 'everything we don't like'. Beryl is charmed by him ( in real life, she would probably be repelled ). While Sharon is dining, a young man called 'Murray' ( David Janson, of 'Get Some In!' ) tries to chat her up.
Funniest moment - Grundy's horror on discovering that 'Murray' is in fact Beryl's son!
'Grundy' is not a classic, but compared with modern shows like 'Miranda' ( all about a woman who keeps falling over ) and 'Fleabag' ( it made me itch! ), it is. I saw this in a completely different light and shall view the remaining episodes with considerable interest.
Take My Wife... (1979)
A comedian's life is not a happy one
The late Duggie Brown came to public attention via 'The Comedians' television series. He appeared in several series, such as the BBC detective drama 'The Enigma Files' and Shelagh Delaney's 'The House That Jack Built' ( no relation to the Adam Faith series of that name ). Granada's 'Take My Wife' was written by Anthony Couch, author of the dreadful 'Devenish' starring Dinsdale Landen. Brown played 'Harvey Hall', a struggling club comic. Elisabeth Sladen played wife 'Josie' ( this would have been five years after her stint as 'Sarah Jane Smith' in 'Dr. Who' ). Cast as Hall's crafty agent 'Maurie Watkins' was the late Victor Spinetti, in his first sitcom role since 'Two In Clover' a decade earlier. The episodes were equally divided between domestic scenes involving the Halls and excepts from Hall's stage act. Its these latter scenes that the comedian seemed most comfortable in. He and Sladen had no on-screen chemistry, unlike that he later achieved with Sharon Duce. Spinetti came off best. She later said that making the show was 'no fun'. One season and it was gone forever. You have to give Brown marks for trying something different. We can but wonder how the show would have turned out with, heaven help us, Bernard Manning as its star. Brown went on to star in another Granada sitcom - David Nobbs' The Glamour Girls' - which cast him as a seedy agent running an all-female promotions business.
70's porn queen Fiona Richmond guested as 'Bubbles Boutique'.
The show's director, Gordon Flemyng, also had a 'Dr. Who' connection - he directed two feature fllms based on the show.
All the Way Up (1970)
Great cast, shame about the script!
Made ( I suspect ) to cash in on the success of 'Till Death Us Do Part' ( a film version was released the previous year ), 'All The Way Up' is based on the play 'Semi-Detached' by David Turner. Mitchell plays 'Fred Midway', an ambitious man who has his eye on promotion, and resorts to blackmail. His family are no better; when son 'Tom' ( Kenneth Cranham ) gets his girlfriend 'Daphne' ( Adrienne Posta, looking gorgeous ) pregnant, they concoct a plan to blame the pregnancy on 'Mr. Makepeace' ( Bill Fraser ), Midway's boss. The film, the only one directed by James MacTaggart, starts out promisingly ( Midway is working late one night to write a blackmail note ), but soon runs out of steam. Which is a pity as it has a great cast, including Richard Briers, Elaine Taylor, Frank Thornton, Pat Heywood, and Terence Alexander. Everyone tries too hard to be funny. A straight rendition of the play would probably have been more effective. Instead, MacTaggart has the cast walking quickly and yelling in a futile effort to conceal the fundamental weakness of the script.
Vanessa Howard squeals constantly, making her character a complete pain, and a car breakdown gag is used at least twice. Mitchell does his best to make 'Fred' funny, but it was an impossible job. Thankfully, a BBC revival of 'Till Death Us Do Part' was on the cards.
Funniest moment - Nigel ( Richard Briers ) in a Soho strip-club. So fascinated is he by the artiste he climbs onto the stage and lunges at her!
Norbert Smith, a Life (1989)
Sir Norbert, this is your life!
I must confess to never having seen Harry Enfield on 'Saturday Live' ( I was usually out when the shows were on, and my VCR was unreliable ). This 1989 spoof documentary starred and was partly written by Enfield himself, and is about an untalented British actor who amazingly appeared in dozens of pictures. The format allowed Harry to poke fun at various genres, from the Will Hay comedies to the Ealing films and kitchen-sink dramas of the 'Saturday Night Sunday Morning' variety. Cliff Richard type movies also come in for a ribbing, as do the 'Carry on' series. The latter sketch - 'Carry On Banging' - features Barbara Windsor, Jack Douglas and Kenneth Connor and has more genuine humour than all ninety minutes of 'Carry On Columbus'.
Peter Goodwright's Will Hay impression is bang on the money. Despite his numerous appearances in shows like 'Who Do You Do?', this talented performer never got the solo vehicle he deserved. Josie Lawrence and Felicity ( I'm Alan Partridge' ) Montagu also appear. And we get to see Jana Shelden ( Catastrophe Kate' from 'Rentaghost' ) in the bath!
Funniest moment - Smith doing a public information film warning about the dangers of VD without once managing to mention the subject by name.
A tour-de-force from Enfield. He later reused the format in his 'normal Ormal' and 'Smashie and Nicey' programmes.
Sez Les: Episode #7.1 (1973)
Les Sez Becomes Sez Les!
'Les Sez' returned to ITV in July 1973, reverting to its former title - 'Sez Les' - and incorporating many of the elements that had been dropped from the previous series. A guest star, for one thing. Here its Olivia Newton-John, the UK's entry in this year Eurovision Song Contest ( she was beaten by Abba ). Bill Hitchcock remained producer, but back came David Mallet as director. Also returning was the Syd Lawrence Orchestra. Replacing 'Les Girls' was the Irving Davies Dancers, who do a baffling routine based on the theme to the recently released movie 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon'. Eli Woods and Roy Barraclough are still around, but there's no Damaris Hayman and Jenny Lee Wright. Peter Dulay, a writer and co-producer, left to oversee a revival of 'Candid Camera'. David Nobbs was the new script editor, meaning the sketches improved in quality.
This episode saw the debut of Cosmo Smallpiece, a bespectacled man with sex on his mind ( and several other places as well ). Les would play him for years to come.
One guesses that the ratings for 'Les Sez' could not have been impressive, hence this reversion to the original format.
Funniest moment - as ever, Les' monologues about his wife and mother-in-law. Yes, they do offend modern audiences but who gives a monkey's?
Dixon of Dock Green: Jackpot (1976)
Harold hits the big-time
Written by Derek Ingrey, 'Jackpot' was one of the last 'Dixon Of Dock Green' episodes to be made. It guest stars Kenneth Cope as 'Harold Tovey', one of life's underdogs. He has a rotten job, people laugh at him because he loves detective books and his blowsy wife 'Margaret ( Pat Ashton ) is sleeping with gangster 'Tony Kinsley' ( Paul Darrow ). You wonder why Harold puts up with it all. Then, something wonderful happens. At a party, he overhears Kinsley and another gangster discussing where they have stashed the proceedings from a plastics factory robbery. Harold finds the money first, and goes on a wild spending spree. Margaret thinks he is on holiday in the continent, but he is really enjoying a sub-James Bond lifestyle in London's casinos and hotels.
For those who fondly recall Cope's performance in 'Randall & Hopkirk ( Deceased ), this is a must-see. You will be cheering Harold on. The little man has suddenly become a big man. Amazing what money can do. Darrow went on to play 'Kerr Avon' in the BBC's 'Blake's 7' series. Deirdre Costello was 'Linda Preston' in the BBC's 'I Didn't Know You Cared'. Jack Warner was in poor health by this time, which is why the police put him behind a computer.
When the gangsters find the loot gone, they blame each other, never once suspecting Harold! He goes back to his wife, and she welcomes him with open arms!
Sez Les: Episode #6.1 (1972)
Sez Les becomes Les Sez
After a short break, 'Sez Les' returned to ITV, but with a few curious differences. Bill Hitchcock replaced David Mallet as producer ( Mallet returned as director the following season ), the regular musical acts ( such as the Syd Lawrence Orchestra ) disappeared, and the comedy sketches increased in number. The oddest change was the title - 'Sez Les' became 'Les Sez'. The old title returned the next year. Les now had new co-stars, such as Damaris Hayman ( who served a similar function to Margaret Dumont in the Marx Brothers movies ), Jenny Lee Wright ( of Benny Hill fame ) and Eli Woods, a one-time stooge for the legendary Jimmy James.
With the singing and dancing gone, Les and his writers ( whose number included Peter Dulay of 'Candid Camera' fame ), were free to explore interesting comedic ideas, such as a railway station being run by out of work showbiz performers. Stephen Lewis ( 'Blakey' from 'On The Buses' ) appeared in one episode as ( guess what? ) a police inspector. Rod Hull ( sans Emu ) also guested. Viewers were not to know it but the show would soon feature John Cleese ( fresh from 'Monty Python's Flyng Circus' ).
'Cosmo Smallpiece' ( try getting away with a character like that now ) and 'Cissie and Ada' were, of course, yet to come.
The Spare Tyres (1967)
Who will rid me of these troublesome tyres?
I have not seen 1967's 'the Spare Tyres' since it turned up on ITV one afternoon in the mid-70-'s. The 'TV Times' write-up did not make it clear whether it was a one-off film or the first episode of a weekly comedy series ( I can remember thinking it was a thin premise on which to build a series ). It was one of a number of short British features used to support major films. The late Terence Alexander ( many remember him as 'Charlie Hungerford' in the BBC's 'Bergerac' series ) plays 'Dennis Colville', who moves into a new house with his wife, Judy Franklin. In the garden are two spare tyres. She orders him to dispose of them. Not an easy job. Then - as now - fly-tipping was illegal. Dennis finds a rubbish dump, only to be told by a 'Jobsworth' character ( Frank Finlay ) that he cannot leave the tyres there, Poor Dennis must continue his search...
Had Eric Sykes made this, it'd probably be packed with guest stars of the calibre of Jimmy Edwards and Charlie Drake. There are a few well known faces scattered about, such as the aforementioned Finlay, Tenniel Evans, and Pauline Yates ( Mrs. Reggie Perrin ). The script is by Donald Churchill, and is more inventive and amusing than 'Spooner's Patch', the police sitcom he had the misfortune to star in. Julia Jones, who plays 'Monica', would later team with Churchill to write ITV's 'Moody and Pegg' series. The real star is, undoubtedly, the tyres themselves. Had an academy award for best acting by a pair of old tyres existed in 1968, they would have won it easily.
Funniest moment - one of the tyres propelling a bread van into a river, resulting in a lot of very soggy loaves!
Many thanks to Talking Pictures TV for resurrecting this long-lost gem. Perhaps next they can unearth 'Ouch!' ( from 1966 ) starring Peter Butterworth as the accident-prone 'Jonah Whale'?
Saucy!: Secrets of the British Sex Comedy (2024)
Confessions and adventures galore
This two-part Channel 4 documentary came as an unexpected surprise. Over the past few years, we have suffered dozens of inane, poorly researched programmes in which D-list celebrities have blathered on endlessly. The writer and producer - Simon Sheridan - is the author of a marvellous book called 'Keeping The British End Up' which is worth a read even if you don't like the genre. It was fascinating to see Gay Soper, Christopher Neil, Oliver Tobias, Francoise Pascal and Robin Askwith and hear what they had to say about their time before the cameras. I take exception, though, with the comment that the key audience for these films consisted mainly of old men in grubby macs. When I visited the cinema, I saw only teenagers keen to have a good laugh. They pretended to be older than they were.
Courting couples also enjoyed these films. Yes, Mary Millington should not have been hounded by the police. The Tories hated the so-called permissive society with a vengeance, and vowed to destroy it if elected in 1979.
Nobody went to see these films expecting Fellini. I was glad to see 'Eskimo Nell' being praised; it really is a marvellous film, much funnier than the 'Confessions' and 'Adventures' series in my view. The documentary was not a sneerfest, but a fascinating look at a much-maligned genre. Well done, Simon!
Victorian Scandals: Skittles (1976)
A doomed romance
The opening scene of this episode, in which a naked woman ( Cora Pearl, played by Christine Robinson ) disrupts a dinner party by emerging naked from under a large dish, ensured that it would be much talked about in school playgrounds and work-places in the days to come. 'Wilfrid Blount' ( John Moulder-Brown ) is a shy, sensitive young man who becomes attracted to a female guest who goes by the curious name of 'Skittles'. Her real name is Catherine Walters and she is a courtesan ( a posh way to describe a prostitute ). She only sleeps with wealthy men, and poor Wilfred is way out of her range. Unable to get him to leave her alone, she opts to take him to bed, but finds his obsession only becomes greater...
Maureen O'Brien never became a star despite having given excellent performances in films, theatre and television down the years. Her most notable role was as 'Vicki' in William Hartnell's 'Doctor Who'. John Moulder-Brown likewise should have had a more impressive C. V. ( he acted alongside Jane Asher in the cult British film 'Deep End' ). Sydney Tafler, in one of his last roles, plays 'Achille Fould', Skittles' protector. Simon Callow and Julian Felowes also appear.
A moving, compelling story, with a fine script by Elisabeth Jane Howard ( who also wrote for 'Upstairs, Downstairs' ) and O'Brien and Moulder-Brown are just brilliant together.
Lollipop Loves Mr Mole: A Marked Man (1972)
TV or no TV?
Jimmy Perry and David Croft found time off from 'Dad's Army' to embark on solo projects, both of them featuring Hugh Lloyd. Croft came up with the disastrous 'Birds In The Bush' ( known in Britain as 'The Virgin Fellas' ). Perry fared better with this amiable domestic sitcom. Originally titled 'Lollipop Loves Mr. Mole', it starred Lloyd as 'Reg Robinson' with the unforgettable Peggy Mount as his loving wife 'Maggie'. Their idyllic lives are shattered by the arrival of Reg's good-for-nothing brother 'Bruce' ( Rex Garner ) and his timid wife 'Violet' ( Pat Coombs ).
Only two episodes are known to still exist. In this one, Bruce and Violet are watching television in bed. The set is on rental and, after they fall behind with the payments, a man ( Victor Maddern ) turns to repossess it. Violet lets him take Maggie's set by mistake...
Good stuff this, and far more worthy of Mount and Coombs' talents than 'You're Only Young Twice'. If the remaining episodes of this series are found - particularly the sweet shop one - I shall be highly delighted.
Funniest moment - Bruce and Violet are watching a late-night horror film about a mummy when Reg walks in, his face covered in skin cream and tissues, causing Violet to scream!
Up the Workers: Episode #2.5 (1976)
A shot in the arm for Cockers Components Ltd.
When 'Sir Charles' ( Charles Lloyd-Pack, father of Roger ) asks the workforce of Cockers Components Ltd ( which he owns ) to devote time to constructing a life-size replica of 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang', they think he has gone senile. But they build it all the same. In fact he wants to use it for a local charity fete organised by his wife. Trouble looms - the union, represented by Mike Savage, complain that the car has been built without permission. Oh dear. All that hard work for nothing...
I thought 'Up The Workers' was a first-class stinker back in the day, and, after viewing a solitary episode in 2024, see no reason to change my mind. It wastes a really good cast, including Norman Bird, Henry McGee, Victor Maddern. They are given nothing by way of good script material. Tom Brennand and Roy Bottomley did fine work on other shows, such as 'Nearest & Dearest' and 'Not On Your Nellie', but not here alas. A young John Nettles ( of 'Bergerac' and 'Midsomer Murders' fame ) appears fleetingly. It sad to see Vivienne Martin ( who was very good in 'Please Sir!' and 'High And Dry' ) as secretary 'Mavis', a role that makes no demands on her comic talent whatsoever. Poor Lesley Duff. She had little luck with her sitcoms. In 1980, she starred in the appalling 'Doctors' Daughters'. Leon Vitali, who plays 'Fergy', briefly replaced Malcolm McFee as 'Peter Craven' in 'The Fenn Street Gang'.
There is no pay-off to this story. I had hoped we might see Sir Charles starting the car and flying off into the sky, but no such luck.
Funniest moment - none to speak of, but I did warm to Sir Charles' pleasure on sitting behind the wheel of one of the most cars in children's literature.
Victorian Scandals: The Portland Millions (1976)
Annie get your millions
'Victorian Scandals' was a popular drama series in its day. Even Benny Hill did a parody! It was composed of dramatisations of famous scandals from the past. The Victorian Era might have been a golden age to Margaret Thatcher, but it was sheer misery for many others. Written by Thatcher admirer Ian Curteis, 'The Portland Millions' stars the late Patricia Hayes as 'Annie Druce', a poor woman determined to prover her late father was really the Duke of Portland, who was leading a double life. She has spent years collecting vital evidence and turns to the legal system to give her justice. But the Druce family is not keen to see her receive it, and close ranks...
We are so used to seeing Hayes in comedy roles that it comes as a shock to see her doing straight drama. She could do it brilliantly, as anyone who saw 'Edna The Inebriate Woman' will testify. You heart goes out to Annie as she is cheated out of her claim to the Portland title. Richard Wilson also has a straight role, as barrister 'Albert Foster', and Nigel Havers is the young lawyer - Ronald Walker' - who Annie befriends. Raymond Huntley also appears. He was 'Sir Geoffrey Dillon' in 'Upstairs, Downstairs'.
Great to see this again after so many years. British costume drama at its best.
Leave It to Charlie: 'Arry with a Haitch (1978)
I'm just wild about Harry
'Charlie ( David Roper ) is in his local pub, attempting to chat-up the sexy barmaid 'Marigold' ( Jeanette Wild ) when a seedy-looking man arrives and says he wants to take out an insurance policy. His pockets are stuffed with banknotes - £700 in total. As Harry looks poorer than the proverbial church mouse, the question is - where did the money come from?
It does not happen often, but occasionally a supporting character can wind up taking over a series, as happened with Henry Winkler in 'Happy Days' and Leonard Nimoy in 'Star Trek'. Ross' performance earned him a regular position on this show, and it was a lot better for it. Roper as 'Charlie' is as insipid as ever. His chat-up lines if, delivered to a barmaid today, would probably lead to him getting a face-full of pepper spray. And it'd be well deserved.
It comes as no surprise when we learn that Harry is actually a burglar. But he robs people only when 'there's nowt worth watching on the telly.".
Funniest moment - Charlie handing Harry's ill-gotten gains to a police sergeant ( Robert Gillespie, who played a similar role in 'Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?' ). The sergeant thinks Charlie stole the money and promptly arrests him!
Leave It to Charlie: Home Is Where the Heartburn Is (1978)
Charlie's first day
'Charlie Fisher' ( David Roper ) is transferred to Lancastrian Assurance, a Bolton-based insurance company. On arrival, he encounters road works and housewives shaking out their carpets. A different world alright. Stopping off in a pub, he has a chance meeting with widow 'Florence McGee' ( Jean Heywood ) and wouldn't you know it she is in need of a lodger. Charlie moves in. Being the sort of man he is, Charlie is able to predict the sort of people his new workmates will be. His boss, 'Arthur Simister' ( Peter Sallis ) will be eccentric, his wife 'Alice' ( Gwen Cherrell ) forgetful, and Simister's secretary 'Jennifer Padgett' ( the lovely Sally Kinghorn ) scatter-brained, particularly when it comes to typing.
It was a different mix to the one used in 'The Life Of Riley', the show's predecessor. It worked. Three seasons were made. I felt then ( and now ) that David Roper's 'Charlie' was the weak link. He is the sort of smarmy character you normally only ever encounter in car showrooms. The supporting cast ran rings round him. The idea of a dinner party with no food was done first by David Nobbs in 'The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin'.
Funniest moment - leaving the Simister house, his stomach rumbling, Charlie heads for the nearest Chinese takeaway, a fiver in his hand. Bad new for him - the place is shut!
Devenish: The Worm in the Bud (1977)
The snakes and ladders man
In the wake of 'Fawlty Towers', several sitcoms appeared in which the leading character was a bad-tempered man with a moustache and a nagging wife. Created by Anthony Couch, 'Devenish' was one such show. The late Dinsdale Landen plays 'Arthur P. Devenish', who works for a company specialising in 'Monopoly'-type board games. He is arrogant and conceited. In this episode, Devenish spots a game called 'Oil Well' on sale in a shop, and realises it is a copy of a game currently under development by his company. Suspecting industrial espionage, he decides to turn detective...
I did not like this show when it was first on, and, after viewing a solitary episode recently, I can understand why. Landen snorts at every opportunity in a futile effort to conceal the back of humour in the script. So much snorting occurs that you think you've tuned into 'Countryfile' by mistake. Devenish is a one-dimensional character. The supporting cast includes Terence Alexander, Geoffrey Bayldon, and John Kane ( the latter a writer on 'Terry And June' ). All of whom are wasted.
Funniest moment - the revelation that Devenish himself stole the idea from another company back in the 50's. At least it keeps him from snorting for once.
Father Charlie: For What We Are About to Receive (1982)
Father Churlish
Lionel Jeffries was allegedly considered for the role of 'Alf Garnett' in 'Till Death Us Do Part'. It is hard to imagine him making a better job of it than Warren Mitchell. A sitcom finally came his way in 1982 when he took the lead in the Vince Powell-created show 'Father Charlie'. He plays a priest who is argumentative, chain-smoking and fond of a tipple, a cleaner version of 'Father Jack' from the 'Father Ted' series. In the first episode, Charlie is made to live in a convent in the hope he will stay out of trouble. Fat chance. He is frequently at loggerheads with the Mother Superior ( Anna Quayle, his co-star in 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' ).
In this episode, Charlie is disgusted by the poor food on offer and arranges to have a bag of steak and kidney filling smuggled in so he can make a pie. Things go wrong.
Powell wrote four of the series' six episodes. This one was by Miles Rudge, whose other credits include a boring episode of 'On The Buses' called 'The Allowance'. Amongst the cast is Deddie Davies ( 'Mabel' from the LWT series of 'The Rag Trade' ) and Jamila Massey ( from 'Mind Your Language'. Tony Selby ( 'Corporal Marsh' of 'Get Some In!' ) is 'Mr. Wainwright' and J. G. Devlin was in the 'Steptoe And Son' episode 'The Desperate Hours'. Jeffries is good but the character is so weak it could have been played by anybody. One wonders what Bob Todd would have made of it. Quayle fares better ( she was a remarkable comic actress. Check out her performance as 'Frau Hoffner' in the 1967 Bond spoof 'Casino Royale' ).
Funniest moment - none.
'Father Charlie' proved unpopular and was swiftly dropped. Its star would later be seen to better comic effect in 'Tom, Dick and Harriet', written by Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke. When one Charlie episode was dropped to make way for a screening of the Bond movie 'The Spy Who Loved Me', someone wrote to the 'News Of The World': "Thank heavens for 007. He's saved us from having to watch Father Charlie!".
The Life of Riley: The Arrival (1975)
Leave it to Frank
This long-forgotten Granada sitcom is remembered today ( if at all ) mainly it because it inspired another sitcom - 'Leave It To Charlie'. Both shows were penned by H. V. Kershaw and produced by Eric Prytherch. Both concern a happy-go-lucky insurance salesman. Here its the wonderful Bill Maynard as 'Frank Riley', who works for the Lancastrian Assurance company. In 'Charlie', the firm was called the Lancastrian Insurance company. The camel-coat wearing Riley enjoys a playboy lifestyle Hugh Hefner would be jealous of, and when his long-lost Welsh son 'Brian' ( Frank Lincoln ) turns up out of the blue seeking a job, it seems like that lifestyle is doomed. Brian is shy and socially inept and his chances of gaining employment with his dad's firm look remote. Then Brian lets slip he owns a cottage in Wales, and that changes things.
As Riley's plant-loving boss - 'Clifford Pringle' - we have John McKelvey, who was one of the few good things about Granada's 'The Cuckoo Waltz'. Vivacious secretary 'Janice Butcher' is portrayed by Susan Littler, tipped to be a big star, but whose life was cut short by cancer in 1982. Frank Lincoln was good as 'Brian' and I'm baffled as to why this was his only sitcom credit.. John Comer, who plays 'George Politt', is better known as 'Sid', the cafe owner from 'Last Of The Summer Wine'. Eileen Kenally - 'Ethel Goodchild' - played Elisabeth Estensen's mother 'Mrs. Boswell' in 'The Liver Birds'.
Riley's blatant sexism would probably make this a turn-off for modern audiences.
Funniest moment - Riley reading aloud Brian's letter about his grandparents dying and having to be buried on top of each other as the plot was not big enough. It could only happen in Wales.
It's Your Move (1982)
Eric's wise move
A married couple ( Richard Briers and Sylvia Syms ) move into a new house with the aid of a gang of inept removals men, played by Eric Sykes and Tommy Cooper. One catastrophe befalls another.
'Its Your Move' followed on from Sykes' well-received remakes of 'The Plank' and 'Rhubarb' Rhubarb'. Only this time it was an original story. Once again, Sykes lined up an impressive array of comic talent, including Irene Handl and Bernard Cribbins. Reviewer 'BrettErikJohnson' is bemused by the fact that the film, for the most part, is silent. He'd be well advised to steer clear of the works of Chaplin and Buster Keaton in that case. Stick to watching 'The Three Stooges', mate.
A sheer delight from start to finish, and Eric was not done with the silent medium yet, as 'Mr. H Is Late' ( 1988 ) proves.
Funniest moment - as Eric fits a light bulb, Tommy turns it on, causing Eric to light up like a Christmas tree!