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ShadeGrenade
'Golden Age Of Television? No It Was Not!'
The highbrow Fifties and Sixties represented broadcasting's zenith, runs the received wisdom. JAMES FLOPINSON begs to differ in an exclusive article you will be able to read in every other paper today...
Here we go again. Some toffee-nosed yesterday's man who used to front 'Panorama' tries to make a name for himself at the Edinburgh Festival by telling us how much 'better' British television was in the 'good old days'. Ho, ho, ho, say I to that. News has been dumbed down, documentaries sensationalised or pushed to the edges of the schedule, and lifestyle programmes dominate the listings. What twaddle! Reality T.V., says the chattering classes, is the blister on the big toe of the modern age, and how much better it was when we had 'The Ascent Of Man', 'Civilization' and 'The Christians'. What these people don't mention of course is that there were only three channels in Britain then. Why? Could not anyone count in those days? If the technology existed to create three channels, why was it not used to create loads more? Alright so there were no reality shows or makeover programmes, but hours of boring programmes showing old people how to play dominoes. None of these shows exists anymore, thank God, but how tedious it must have been for the discriminating viewer who loves to see sixteen year old girls jumping naked into swimming pools. There were huge gaps in the schedules until recently, which meant there was nothing on in the afternoons on B.B.C.-2 except those silly 'Trade Test Films' about homemade cars and cattle carters in Australia, while over on I.T.V. housewives watched 'Crown Court' and cried because it wasn't 'Loose Women'. Yes, there are fewer 'serious' programmes on primetime today. 'Johnny Go Home' could never be made now, and viewers can remain blissfully ignorant of the plight of homeless young people in London. Who remembers 'Market In Honey Lane', the number one show in April 1967? Well, I do, obviously, else I would not have mentioned it here, but millions don't. The news in those days was excruciatingly dull, consisting of a man in a suit sitting behind a desk reciting plain facts. Now we have tasty bimbos bestriding a set that looks like the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise, while jaunty music is used to pep up reports of earthquake disasters in India. We also no longer have inane stuff like 'On The Move' in which Bob Hoskins showed adults how to read. U.S. imports long ago lost their domination of primetime, now we have shows with clever titles like 'My Breasts Need A Firm Hand', '10 Most Embarrassing Things About Being Dead', 'Celebrity Blow Football' and 'Wudja Cudja Kickk Der Bukkit Fer Dosh?'. Saturday night schedules are better too, whereas people once watched 'The Black & White Minstrel Show' with its unmistakeable racial overtones, they can now watch repeats of 'Little Britain' with its unmistakeable racial overtones. Those expensive comedy spectaculars made by L.W.T. have long since been replaced by smug young men at desks cracking gags at the expense of '40's newsreel footage. Progress is a marvellous thing, isn't it? Many shows that would have been on B.B.C-1 in the Sixties are now on B.B.C.-4 where they get far fewer audiences. Just as many shows that are on B.B.C.-1 now will soon be on U.K. Gold where they too will get far fewer audiences. That is the way the game is played. Some B.B.C. executives pontificate about audience segmentation. I think this to be a good thing. Remember the bad old days when 28 milion people all saw the same show? How embarrassing it was to have to admit to your mates the next day you never saw it because your set had exploded? All that is now a thing of the past because nobody watches anything anymore. People get information on programmes from the Internet. Often before they are made. British viewers started a fan club for 'Heroes' before the ink was dry on the pitch document. The golden age of T.V. never existed. There is more now and much of it is far better, Just ask Davina McCall. In the words of Sixties Prime Minister Harold Macmillan 'fetch my shotgun, Dorothy. I'm off to the moor to bag a few grouse'.
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'When I Get Old'
A Funny Little Poem
When I get old
I'm going to have some fun.
I want to irritate, aggravate
and generally annoy everyone.
I'll wear flared trousers
Nylon cardigans, polka-dot cravats,
Tartan scarves, woollen mittens
Orange trousers with great green spats.
I'll throw eggs at The Mayor
Write to 'The Daily Mail'
Send fan mail to Pat Boone
And my loose change to 'Save The Whale'.
I'll go to Asda's and yell &Tesco!&
Donate my laundry to a charity shop
Then when they've washed it all
I'll go there and buy back the lot.
I'll hold up post office queues
By chatting to the staff.
Grow conifers in my front garden
Dump sacks of coal in my bath.
I'll argue with shop assistants
Over the price of a loaf
And when the manager intervenes
I'll call him a 'XXXX-ing oaf'.
I'll drink beer at �1 a pint
Grumble about the juke-box noise.
Jog drinkers' elbows
Pick fights with the rougher boys.
I'll brag about my army days
Even though I didn't serve.
Flash a chestful of plastic medals
Only when I'm old will I have the nerve.
I'll play dodgems with my Tesco trolley
Give dirty looks to unmarried mothers
Castigate disabled drivers
Wave my brolly angrily at all the others.
I'll go on the B.B.C.'s 'Question Time',
To demand that conscription and hanging be brought back.
Endorse the views of Richard Littlejohn
By calling for the Chancellor to get the sack.
When I get old
I want to be all the things I've never been.
A reactionary, a pain in the neck
Not moody, mot magnificent - just plain mean!
copyright Shade Grenade 2007
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Reviews
It's Your Move (1982)
Eric's wise move
A married couple ( Richard Briers and Sylvia Syms ) move into a new house with the aid of a gang of inept removals men, played by Eric Sykes and Tommy Cooper. One catastrophe befalls another.
'Its Your Move' followed on from Sykes' well-received remakes of 'The Plank' and 'Rhubarb' Rhubarb'. Only this time it was an original story. Once again, Sykes lined up an impressive array of comic talent, including Irene Handl and Bernard Cribbins. Reviewer 'BrettErikJohnson' is bemused by the fact that the film, for the most part, is silent. He'd be well advised to steer clear of the works of Chaplin and Buster Keaton in that case. Stick to watching 'The Three Stooges', mate.
A sheer delight from start to finish, and Eric was not done with the silent medium yet, as 'Mr. H Is Late' ( 1988 ) proves.
Funniest moment - as Eric fits a light bulb, Tommy turns it on, causing Eric to light up like a Christmas tree!
Coppers End: If you want to know the time, ask a policeman (1971)
Copper-bottomed
Bill Owen will forever be remembered as the welly-clad 'Compo Simmonite' of Roy Clarke's 'Last Of The Summer Wine', but he appeared in other sitcoms as well. Created by Lord Ted Willis ( also responsible for the long-running police drama 'Dixon Of Dock Green' ), this ATV sitcom was set in a fictional police station in a part of Britain where, amazingly, there is very little crime. So underused are the bobbies that the station is threatened with closure. So 'Sergeant Sam Short' ( Owen ) decides to fake a murder - his own. Who can he trust to do the job? The police at Copper's End, such as 'P,C. Dinkie Dinkworth' ( Royce Mills ) and 'P,C. Eddie Edwards' ( Richard Wattis ) are completely useless. The station, however, has a dependable female sergeant - 'Penny Pringle' ( Josephine Tewson, who was a replacement when Joan Sims had to back out due to illness ). 'Short' is a very different character to 'Compo'. He's cleaner, for one thing.
There is a strong Wil Hay flavour to the show, in particular the film 'Ask A Policeman' ( 1939 ). But in all respects, the show is nowhere near as funny as that movie. Its considerably better than Ray Galton and Johnny Speight's appalling 'Spooner's Patch' though. No-one splutters in the repulsive way they frequently did in that series. When 'Copper's End' ended after one series, the cast moved onto better things. Wattis reprised his role as the pompous 'Mr. Brown' in the BBC's revival of 'Sykes'. Tewson graced numerous sitcoms, including John Inman's 'Odd Man Out' and 'Keeping Up Appearances'.
Though made in 1971 in colour, the series was in black and white due to a technicians' strike - the same strike also affected 'Budgie' and 'Doctor At Large'.
Funniest moment - Dinkworth returning from a duty and putting on his helmet, only to be drenched in rainwater!
Rhubarb Rhubarb (1980)
More rhubarb from Eric
Having successfully remade his 1967 short film 'The Plank' for Thames Television, Eric Sykes followed it up with a remake of his 1969 film 'Rhubarb'. The only dialogue in the film is the word 'Rhubarb'. The action is set around a golf course. A police inspector ( Eric ) has challenged a vicar ( Bob Todd ) to a friendly game. Both intend to cheat. Eric has an accomplice, while Todd calls on the Almighty himself to move the golf balls round the course. It looks like a no-win situation for Eric. Jimmy Edwards returns as a policeman ( he also played one in 'The Plank' ) and Bill Fraser plays the club's chairman. Charlie Drake is one of the golfers. It was a welcome return for the comic, who'd been away for television for many years. April Walker is around, looking as gorgeous as ever.
Visual comedy was Eric's ideal medium. These Thames comedies saw him at his best, more so than those studio-based specials he did such as 'The Likes Of Sykes'. I prefer this remake to the original 1969 film.
On a sad note, the film was transmitted two months after the death of one of its stars - Hattie Jacques. Here she plays a nanny. The world of entertainment was considerably poorer after her passing.
Funniest moment - Bob Tod's Vicar walking across water!
Leave It to Charlie: Do Sit Down, Mrs. Foster (1979)
The sit-in
I disliked 'Leave It To Charlie' intensely when it was first on, as my IMDB review indicates. When a Network DVD of the show failed to appear, I grinned and thought "Its probably been wiped. Good riddance!". Now, years later, I have rewatched an episode. Its not as bad as I remember. David Roper plays 'Charlie Fisher', a happy-go-lucky insurance agent. Peter Sallis is 'Arthur Simister', his creepy boss, and Gwen Charrell was 'Alice', his forgetful wife. Added to the mix is Jean Haywood as 'Florence McGee', Charlie's landlady, and ( although she's not in this episode ) Sally Kinghorn as dizzy secretary 'Jennifer Padgett'. I must have been the wrong age group for this show. 'The Young Ones' it wasm't. I still find Roper's performance irksome though.
This instalment sees Lancastrian Assurance receiving a visit from 'Mrs. Foster' ( Avis Bunnage ) who is angry because the company is refusing to pay out on a policy. She sits down in Simister's office, and refuses to leave. So how do they get her out? Having had a bad experience with an insurance company myself, I sympathise with her. They are quick to take your money, but not so quick when it comes to pay-outs.
I should mention the presence of David Ross as 'Harry Hutchins'. Ross was the original 'Kryten' in 'Red Dwarf'. 'Harry' deserved a spin-off show, but never got one. John Horsley aka 'Doc Morissey' of the BBC's 'Reginald Perrin' has a small role.
Funniest moment - Charlie attempting to starve Mrs. Foster out of the office, and the moment his back is turned, her daughter sneaks in with a back of groceries!
The Last of the Baskets: It's a Living (1972)
Vicar in a basket
Made by Granada Television, 'Last Of The Baskets' was written by John Stevenson and produced by Bill Podmore. Factory worker 'Clifford Basket' ( Ken Jones ) inherits a title and becomes Earl of Clogborough. He gets to live in a tatty mansion in Little Clogborough In The Marsh. With the house comes a loyal but devious butler 'Redvers Bodkin' ( Arthur Lowe ) who is always on the make. Clifford's mother 'Alfreda' ( Patricia Hayes ) moves in with them. The show proved popular enough to run for two seasons. As it never appeared on DVD, I thought it might have been wiped. But a single episode has resurfaced. So was it any good? Not from this solitary example. I would need to see a few more before passing judgment. The name 'Redvers' would later be appropriated by the main character in Roy Clarke's BBC show 'Potter'. The premise of Bodkin having a twin brother ( also played by Lowe ) would be used in 'Dad's Army' a few years later to much better comic effect.
The Earl is told he can select the newest Vicar, and Bodkin puts forward his twin brother, being aware of the tidy salary that comes with it. Cropping up are Anthony Sharp ( who also played a Vicar in 'Steptoe And Son' ) and Roy Barraclough ( monlighting from 'Pardon My Genie' ), Very talky and with little humour ( I cannot nominate a scene for 'funniest moment' because there wasn't one ). On the plus side, it stands head and shoulders over modern dross such as 'Mammoth' and 'Miranda'. Which, sadly, is not much of a recommendation. This fine cast deserved better material.
Young at Heart: I Do Like to Be Beside the Seaside (1981)
"Every time I look at you..."
Despite the change in comedy tastes that happened in the Eighties, Vince Powell was a busy man, churning out shows such as 'Father Charlie' ( starring Lionel Jeffries ), the poorly received 'Bottle Boys' ( with Robin Askwith ) and contributing to series such as 'A Sharp Intake Of Breath' and 'Slinger's Day'. His ATV show 'Young At Heart' was essentially a reboot of his earlier Thames hit 'For The Love Of Ada'. John Mills and Megs Jenkins took over the Wilfred Pickles and Irene Handl roles, with David Neilson ( better known now as 'Roy Cropper' in 'Coronation Street' ) and Carol Leader ( from the kids show 'Chock-a-Block' ) taking the place of Jack Smethurst and Barbara Mitchell.
In this episode, Albert tells wife Ethel he is going to buy a tin of tobacco but in fact he books tickets for a trip to Blackpool. They last went there on their honeymoon. Problems start immediately - they board the wrong train. When they finally arrive, the weather is dreadful. With nothing to do, they go to a posh restaurant, and Albert is perplexed by the French menu...
Gentle comedy likely to offend no-one. I don't think many young people were hooked on the show though. Good work from Mills and Jenkins ( both of whom appeared in the film 'The History Of Mr. Polly' ). The show proved popular enough to run to three seasons. Strangely, there was no Network DVD release for the show.
Funniest moment - Albert's horror on seeing the price list. Even the waiter ( Arnold Diamond ) admits the food is a rip-off.
Those Wonderful TV Times: Episode dated 6 August 1978 (1978)
Stormin' Norman returns
Barry Cryer left as host of 'Those Wonderful T. V. Times' after two seasons, and his chair was filled by alleged comic Norman Vaughan, in a surprising return to the game show format. Anyone who saw him on 'The Golden Shot' will know what I mean. Like his successor Charlie Williams, Vaughan was inept at dealing with contestants ( it went out live ), He was not funny either. On one infamous occasion, he told a joke and it met with silence from the studio audience.
'TWTT' was not a live show, and Vaughan therefore had no opportunity to screw it up. The number of guest celebrities doubled; they included Arthur Askey, Dora Bryan, William Franklyn, Clive Dunn, Barbara Windsor and Max Wall. Babs seemed the most knowledgeable of the group. Among the programmes featured were 'Wagon Train', 'Manhunt', 'The Howard Confessions', and 'Coronation Street' featuring Arthur Leslie and a young Kenneth Cope. Because the proceedings were going to charity, there was no sense of competition between the contestants. It was done in the name of fun.
The show ended with this season. It would not be until 1985 and 'We Love TV' ( which went out in a peak-time slot ) that a similar format would be attempted.
Finally, a quick word on the recent UK General Election. Well done people of Britain!
Those Wonderful TV Times: Episode #2.4 (1977)
Daytime TV nostalgia
There have been a few television quizzes down the years, such as Gloria Hunniford's 'We Love TV' ( made by London Weekend ) to Noel Edmonds' 'Telly Addicts' for the BBC. Tyne-Tees' 'Those Wonderful TV TImes' was, I believe the first of the genre. It went out in the daytime. The first two seasons were hosted by Barry Cryer ( of 'Jokers' Wild' fame ). A team of three celebrities were shown clips of archive material and asked to identify the programmes and the actors involved. It is important to remember that this was in the days before the advent of home video/DVD. The contestants were asked questions about programmes that had not aired in decades.
Among the programmes featured here were 'I Love Lucy', 'The Plane Makers', and 'Ghost Squad' All were originally shown on ITV. The clips ended with polite applause from the studio audience, a far cry from the derisory laughter that used to accompany vintage clips on 'Telly Addicts' ( the reason why I stopped watching the show ). The contestants here weere Fenella Fieldng, Robin Nedwell ( whose 'Doctor On The Go' was still running ), and Tessa Wyatt of 'Robin's Nest'. Barry did a bit of prompting when they had trouble providing answers. The proceeds went to charity. And, best of all, no-one was asked to sing theme tunes!
The opening titles were a montage of photographs representing shows such as 'Tommy Cooper', 'The Saint' and, wait for it, 'Love Thy Neighbour'. Incredible as it sounds now, there was a time when ITV was quite proud of this now-reviled race war sitcom. A year later, Barry left the show and his place was taken by Norman Vaughan. It was a surprising return for the comic, whose career faltered after he took over from Bob Monkhouse on 'The Golden Shot'.
Yellow Submarine (1968)
The Beatles' psychedelic odyssey
Dazzling animated fantasy based on the John Lennon and Paul McCartney song. You probably know the story - 'Pepperland' has been invaded by the Blue Meanies, and 'Old Fred' goes to Liverpool in a yellow submarine to get help. Not surprisingly, its the Fab Four who gets this daunting task. The journey back to Pepperland takes them from one weird-sounding place to another.
Actors ( such as John Clive and Geoffrey Hughes ) performed the Beatles' voices, and did a good job. Much of the music consisted of existing Beatles hits, such as 'Eleanor Rigby' and 'Nowhere Man' though some numbers were original.. Al Brodax's film pre-dates the kind of animation Terry Gilliam later did on 'Monty Python'. Its a much stronger production ( in my view ) than 'Help!', which was unfortunately saddled with a weak script. 'Yellow Submarine', partly scripted by the late Erich Segal, of 'Love Story' fame, will keep you smiling happily throughout. Eric Idle's 'All You Need Is Cash' did a wonderful parody called 'Yellow Submarine Sandwich'.
As I write this, a general election is imminent. Britain's Blue Meanies will, hopefully, be vanquished just as efficiently as the ones in the Beatles movie.
The Black and White Minstrel Show (1958)
Best Forgotten
Clips of 'The Black And White Minstrel Show' ( a weekly variety show that starred white entertainers in black make-up ) are frequently trotted out by unimaginative programme-makers as an example of 'that sort of racist thing they used to make back then'. It is generally assumed that the audience were all dyed-in-the-wool bigots. Not so. My grandparents were liberal-minded and were among the many millions who tuned in each week. They saw nothing wrong with it. It was not a show for young people. The songs and dance routines belonged to another era. They did have comedians, however, including Lenny Henry and Leslie Crowther. Neither George Mitchell nor any of the people connected with the show could have predicted how different the world would be in the future. It began on the BBC in 1958 and coasted along merrily for years. Then, in 1977, the American mini-series 'Roots' ( based on Alex Haley's family history ) reached the UK, and the ratings for the Minstrel Show plummeted. It was scrapped the following year. Nothing to do with Political Correctness as some have suggested ( it did not exist then ).
The Minstrel Show was made fun of by the likes of the Two Ronnies and the Goodies. 'Little Britain', 'The Mighty Boosh' and 'The League Of Gentlemen' also attempted to do this, using the 'post-modern irony' defence. Viewers protested, and these last three shows underwent drastic reediting before further repeat screenings. What should we make of the Minstrel Show today? Personally, I would not care if every surviving episode was consigned to the nearest furnace. Even without the racism, it was an incredibly crass show,
That's an Order (1955)
To be a grocer's boy
I was not around in 1955, the year this film was made. 'That's An Order' is a Children's Film Foundation production, one of many made in that era. It starred the late, great Peter Butterworth as an incompetent grocer's boy. As one might expect, its nearly all visual comedy. People falling into cellars and dropping breakable objects. Oscar Wilde it isn't. Which makes it all the more strange that another reviewer complains about juvenile humour. Not a good idea to watch a CFF film if you detest children's entertainment. That's on a par with Nigel Farage watching an episode of 'Roots'. Yes, the film is dated but remains watchable. Butterworth later starred in another short - aimed at a more adult audience - called 'Ouch!' ( 1966 ) in which he played the accident-prone Jonah Whale.
Friday Night, Saturday Morning: Episode #1.8 (1979)
Footlights fun
'Friday Night, Saturday Morning' was a late-night BBC-2 talk show in which the host changed each week. Guest hosts included Tim Rice ( later given his own show ), Toyah Wilcox, Barry Norman, Ned Sherrin and, disastrously, ex-Prime Minister Harold Wilson. One week, the entire show was given over to the cast of the 1979 Cambridge Footlights. Amongst them were Emma Thompson ( now a Dame ) and Hugh Laurie. It was presented by Martin Bergman, who seemed to be positioning himself as a kind of successor to David Frost ( he interviewed Peter Cook ). Bergman later married American comedian Rita Rudner and managed Torvill and Dean.
Among the sketches was a parody of 'Looks Familiar', Denis Norden's daytime nostalgia show aimed at pensioners, with Laurie and Robert Bathurst ( the latter mimicking Arthur Askey ) as a couple of old showbiz has-beens. Bathurst got to play a pompous Tory M. P. addressing the nation. There was also a send-up of 'The Hollywood Greats', Barry Norman's biographical series devoted to Hollywood actors, with Norman himself as the subject. All the performers were excellent and unafraid to expose their political leanings ( a general election earlier that year brought Thatcher to power ). Emma performed witty parodies of 'Send In The Clowns' and 'My Favourite Things'.
With this show, a new generation of university-educated comics burst upon the screen. The world of light entertainment would never be the same again.
Carrott Confidential (1987)
More japes from Jasper
'Carrott's Lib' ended in 1983. Four years later, Jasper returned with the same formula - monologues and sketches guying the week's news. Chris Barrie and Nick Wilton having moved on ( Jan Raven made occasional appearances in the new show ), Jasper was joined by newcomers Hugh Dennis and Steve Punt ( as I write this, they are currently on tour in the UK ). Rupert Murdoch's Sky Television was launched around this time, and Jasper got big laughs simply by reading aloud a list of its alleged highlights, which included a documentary fronted by the disgraced Frank Bough, a revival of 'Sale Of The Century' ( without Nicholas Parsons ) and ( if you can believe it ) a talent show hosted by Keith Chegwin. Thatcher's hated poll tax and the salmonella scandal were two more comedy targets.
Ex-Morecambe and Wise writer Dick Hills was among the contributors. Guest stars included the great Spike Milligan and Rory Bremner ( in the days when he was still funny ). Each edition began with Jasper leaving his dressing room and being confronted by celebrity lookalikes of whoever was in that week's news. Instead of different singers each week, here there was just one - the American Loudon Wainwright The Third. After three seasons, 'Carrott Confidential' ended, but Jasper, Steve and Hugh would soon be seen in a new show - 'Canned Carrott'.
Carrott's Lib: Election Special (1983)
"The longest suicide note in history"
As the votes in the 1983 General Election got counted, Jasper Carrott took to the airwaves with a special edition of his award-winning BBC sketch show 'Carrott's Lib'. It had impacted on Saturday night viewing in a way that had not been seen since 'That Was The Week That Was' in 1964. ( Before anyone says "what about 'Not The Nine O'Clock News'? It was not a Saturday show - it went out on Mondays - and so does not count. So there. ). Jasper and his jokers made fun of Margaret Thatcher's arrogance and Michael Foot's unsuitably for the job of leader ( he was easily on a par with Jeremy Corbyn in that respect ). Other targets included Norman Tebbit, Peter Tatchell, Cecil Parkinson, Sir Keith Joseph and William Whitelaw. Among the sketches - some of which were written by Ian Hislop and Ben Elton - we got a spoof of 'Call My Bluff' in which Labour candidates did not know the meaning of words like 'unlateral'. The SDP and Liberal parties also came under fire. Nick Wilton was still around, but replacing Kay Stonham and Debby Bishop was Emma Thompson, the latter particularly adept at spoofing housewives and upper-class Tory ladies. Christopher Barrie was also new, and his impersonations of Sir Robin Day, Denis Healey and Michael Foot were delightful. He would rejoin the series later in the year. Emma did not, however, and her place was taken by the equally talented Jan Ravens.
There was never any doubt what the outcome of the election would be. Despite three million being on the dole, Thatcher's popularity was boosted massively by the 'Falklands factor'. Poor Labour would have to wait until 1997 before getting back into power.
Funniest moment - Emma's appearance as 'Lady Algae Falkland', a not-very bright lady in favour of the proliferation of nuclear weapons or, as she puts it, 'mummies for missiles'.
Doctor Who: Empire of Death (2024)
Who would have thought Bonnie Langford could be so scary?
'Empire Of Death' brings to a close an outstanding season of 'Doctor Who'. Ncuti Gatwa has successfully replaced the great David Tennant, and Millie Gibson is the best companion since Billie Piper. A solid conclusion. The only thing that disappointed me is that we did not get a return appearance by the reanimated mummies from 'Pyramids Of Mars'. The problem with the deadly dust-cloud idea is that it has been done before, in Chris Chibnall's controversial 'Flux'. However, the highpoint was seeing the Doctor come to terms with the realisation that he has unwittingly helped Sutekh destroy the universe. Can you imagine a fez-clad Matt Smith in the same scene? Disaster!
Another revelation was the sight of Mel becoming Sutekh's servant. She was terrifying! I loved the 'rememberance Tardis'. Just seeing Pertwee's 'WHO 1' number plates after all these years was a joy.
By the time the Christmas Special ( its by Moffat, whose other specials are probably best forgotten ), we will know the outcome of this year's General Election. I wonder who will win? Best not to predict. As the Doctor himself might say; "there's always a twist at the end!".
Turn-On (1969)
Computerised comedy
The American comedy sketch series 'Turn-On' has acquired a legendary status as 'that show that was cancelled mid-way through its first episode'. Never shown in the U. K., when I found out it was on You Tube, I watched with interest. It is remarkably easy to see why it failed; it was totally different to what else was on U. S. television at the time. Audiences probably found its mixture of comedy and computers disturbing. George Schlatter also produced 'Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In'. No studio audience was used. Interestingly, in the same year it was made ( 1969 ), over in Britain, John Cleese and a gang of comedians were also breaking new ground with 'Monty Python's Flying Circus', only with far more successful results. The sketches in 'Turn-On' varied in quality from the inspired to the inane. Among the writers was Norman Hudis, who worked on the early 'Carry On' films. The guest-stars included Robert Culp and Sebastian Cabot.
You can see how 'Turn-On' anticipated later shows such as the BBC's 'Three Of A Kind' and 'Kenny Everett'. It was a 1980's show that happened to be made in the 1960's.
Doctor Who: The Legend of Ruby Sunday (2024)
The mystery of Susan Triad
Poor Bonnie Langford. Fans gave her a hard time back in the 80's. Her character - 'Mel Bush' - was prone to screaming and running away. Not her fault. That's the way it was written. Now, at last, in 2024, she's been given the chance to shine. Mel, now working for UNIT, has gone undercover to investigate the mysterious 'Susan Triad' ( Susan Twist ), whom the Doctor keeps seeing throughout his travels. Is Susan really his granddaughter? Or is someone trying to trap our hero?
This is the latest in a line of first rate episodes written by Russell T. Davies. UNIT is back ( love their base ). When the Doctor and Ruby used the Time Window ( let's have more of that idea please ) to explore her past, i was on the edge of my seat. The big reveal at the end was similar to the climax of 'Utopia' in 2007, but that's okay by me. This season has proved every bit as good as the ones from RTD's previous run. I look forward to the conclusion next week.
Doctor Who: Rogue (2024)
The Doctor meets a charming Rogue
In this sad week ( we lost Wiliam Russell, who played 'Ian Chesterton' back in the 60's ), we get another cracking 'Doctor Who' episode. 'Rogue' is set in Regency era England, and the Doctor and Millie are dressed in the clothes of that period, and enjoying themselves hugely at a ball in a country manor. But this would not be 'Doctor Who' unless there was menace afoot, and indeed there is. A race of shape-shifting alien birds are copying people. The doctor is not the only interested party; also present is a handsome bounty hunter named 'Rogue' ( Jonathan Groff ) and the Doctor is instantly charmed by him..
Sooner or later, a gay kiss was bound to happen in 'Doctor Who', and here it is. I was not shocked by it. 'Doctor Who' is not and never has been a show for bigots. Although RTD did not write this episode, his influence is unmistakable.
As with the rest of this season, the casting of Ncuti Gatwa as the Doctor and Millie Gibson as 'Ruby' is impossible to fault. At times they remind me of the Eccleston and Piper double act that so strongly defined the 2005 comeback. 'Rogue' ends on a touching note. Perhaps Groff can be enticed back for further episodes? I hope so.
Doctor Who: Dot and Bubble (2024)
The Doctor bursts Lindy's 'bubble'
After last week's superb '73 Yards', it did not seem possible that Russell T. Davies could have come up with another episode of similar quality, but with 'Dot And Bubble' he has managed to do exactly that. We are in an alien city in the far future. The inhabitants are young, rich, and good-looking. They are only required to work a minimum of two hours per day. The rest of the time they spend on social media. They wear 'bubbles' containing images of their designated friends. Like Facebook only much worse. The Doctor attempts to warn 'Lindy' ( Callie Cooke ) she is in deadly danger, but she ignores him, so Ruby steps in...
This is a story I have always wanted to see in 'Doctor Who' - social media becoming a cover for an evil conspiracy. Lindy and the other people around her are under threat from giant slugs ( who look like something out of a 1960's 'T. V. Comic' strip ).
The ending is a real shocker as Lindy is revealed to be a not very nice person after all. Davies infers that racism will still be around for years to come, despite the best efforts of political correctness.
Doctor Who: 73 Yards (2024)
Fantastic Episode
In a week when a UK General Election has been announced, the timing of this episode could not be better. The Doctor and Ruby are in Wales. Exploring some clifftops, they find what appears to be a magic circle. The Doctor accidentally steps on it, and winks out of existence, leaving Ruby alone. Not quite alone, as an evil force is now on the loose. It takes the form of a deranged politician named 'Roger ap Gwillym' and he will start a nuclear war unless Ruby stops him.
This is far and far away RTD's best script since he became showrunner again last year, and is the best episode of this season so far. Ncuti Gatwa was busy working on another project, and so there's not much of the Doctor here, but this does not matter as it gives Millie Gibson a chance to shine, and boy, does she. Sian Phillips ( I', Claudius' ) is around, and there is a return appearance from the enigmatic neighbour 'Mrs. Flood' ( Anita Dobson ). What does the 73 yards woman keep saying to people that causes them to panic and run away? I don't expect we'll ever know. Perhaps its "Moffat's writing this year's Christmas Special!". Arggh!
Doctor Who: Boom (2024)
At last! A Moffat episode worth watching!
Steven Moffat has been writing for 'Doctor Who' since 2005 and I have not enjoyed any of his episodes until now. 'Boom' is a marked improvement on the confusing episodes he wrote as showrunner, which were uniformly lousy. It owes a great debt to the opening episode of Terry Nation's 'Genesis Of The Daleks' ( which also had the Doctor stepping on a landmine ). In the earlier story, the Doctor got off the landmine after only a few minutes whereas here the predicament takes up most of the episode. The war-torn landscape is similar to those we saw in the 'Terminator' movies. What makes this episode work well is the superb acting of Ncuti Gatwa ( who gets better each week ) and Millie Gibson. It is good to see a Moffat script with a decent Doctor at the helm, not some gurning clown in a fez. The only flaw would be the throwaway reference to 'fish fingers and custard' which is Moffat paying homage to himself. If he can write more episodes of this calibre, then fine, let him do so. If not, he should stay away.
The Footage Detectives (2021)
Mike and Noel's nostalgia show
'Terry & June' is to be repeated on Britbox with warnings about its potentially offensive content. Back in the day ( 1980's ), it was criticised for being bland and inoffensive. What has changed? How is the sight of Terry Scott falling off a ladder suddenly unacceptable to 21st audiences? Is someone having a laugh here?
Onto 'The Footage Detectives' in which Mike Read and Noel Cronin show old commercials and home movies and viewers' letters ( some of them quite witty ) are read out. Its a sort of 'Ask Aspel' for adults. I'd hate to see the same programme with a couple of young people in charge. They'd probably insult everything on view. Mike and Noel are pretty good together. The great thing about the programme is that you don't need to be old in order to enjoy it ( although it helps ). Like a lot of Talking Pictures' TV's content, it is coming under fire from rabid haters of archive television, who think the junking of old programmes was a great idea.
Not all of us are interested in who gets voted out of the 'Big Brother' house, and 'Footage Detectives' is ideal Sunday afternoon viewing. I hope one day someone will unearth a clip of the late Victor Spinetti as 'The Mad Jaffa Cake Eater'.
On the House (1970)
Gussie's gang
The now-defunct Network Distributing released hundreds of films and television series on D. V. D., including some obscure offerings like 'The Corridor People' and 'Alcock And Gander'. But a series that eluded them was this short-lived Yorkshire Television sitcom, about a gang of builders working on a construction site who never seem to do much by way of work. Not unless you call playing cards and 'spending a penny' work. Their leader, 'Gussie Sissons', is played by Kenneth Connor. The boys' arch-enemy, site foreman 'Charlie Cattermole', is portrayed by John Junkin. Looking at this now, its hard not to be reminded of 'On The Buses'. Working-class lads at war with an authority figure with a moustache. It is as if Sid Colin, the show's writer, had seen Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney's show ( it begun the year before ) and thought he could do better. He did not. In addition to those actors I've just mentioned, the show also has Gordon Rollings, John Normington ( whose 'Old Ned Spooner' character looks a lot like 'Uncle Mort' from 'I Didn't Know You Cared' ) and, later on, Derek Griffiths and future 'Confessions' star Robin Askwith. Tommy Godfrey was a busy man in the 70's; his other shows include 'Love Thy Neighbour' and 'Mind Your Language' ( both written by Vince Powell ).
Guest-stars include Milo O'Shea, Patrick Troughton ( as a Germanic scientist ) and Hermione Baddeley. So there was a good cast but the weak scripts sadly let them down. Connor was seen to much better comic effect in the 'Carry On' pictures, 'Hi-De-Hi!', and 'Allo, Allo!'.
Rubbish builders also featured in the much funnier 'Cowboys' made by Thames Television over a decade later.
Movie Madness (1982)
Popcorn parodies
The long-awaited sequel to the hit comedy movie 'National Lampoon's Animal House' finally appeared in 1982, and bombed. Originally entitled 'National Lampoon Goes To The Movies', it spoofed 'Kramer Vs. Kramer', glossy soap operas, and Joseph Wambaugh-type police dramas. With a director such as John Landis ( who made 'Animal House' ), it might have worked. Instead it got Henry Jaglom, whose forte was not comedy, and it sadly shows. He directed two segments, one of which was deleted from the finished film. Bob Giraldi handled the other two.
Some of the film is funny. Peter Riegert's character 'Jason Cooper' is so smug as to be unbelievable. He tries to bring up his children on his own, and has not a clue how to do so. He even starts a fire in his own kitchen. Then he has the bright idea of taking in unwanted plants. His house is suddenly full of the things, and he cannot find his children. In the next segment, Ann Dusenberry is good as a stripper named 'Dominique' who sleeps ( and kills ) her way to the top. The last segment features a great performance by Richard Widmark as a tired cop who ignores violent crime even when its happening right under his nose.
Shocking are the scenes featuring female nudity and an implied rape which would probably not be allowed now.
A mixed bag, then. No 'Kentucky Fried Movie' but no 'Carry On Columbus' either.
Mammoth (2021)
A mammoth waste of time
'Tony Mammoth' ( Mike Bubbins ) is a gym teacher who has been frozen since 1979 and has been thawed out in the 21st century. Unsurprisingly, he is baffled by everything he sees. It is hard to know where to start with this one. For one thing, Mammoth himself is very much a 21st century person's idea of what a 1979 man is like. A real person of that age would not be perplexed at the idea of British television having more than three channels; he'd be annoyed that the new ones all tend to be full of mindless garbage. Also, sexism, racism and homophobic attitudes are not exclusive to the 1970's; a quick trawl through the cesspit of hate that is social media will reveal that those unacceptable attitudes are still with us. The rebranding of Marathon chocolate as 'Snickers' would not be be much of a wrench to anyone who remembers the change-over to decimal currency. Mobile phones and home computers? People lived happily for years without those things. What you have never had, you don't miss. Mr. Bubbins cannot blame the writers for this farrago of nonsense; he wrote it and acted ( if that's the word ) in it. A failure twice over. This programme is nothing more than a feeble rehash of those annoying 'let's make fun of the past' shows that have been stinking up the airwaves for years now. It is time to say enough is enough and move on.