Okay, the water bottles have officially gone too far.

Stanley cups now have tiny backpacks and accessory clips for your keys, snacks, lip balms and hand sanitiser — and I hate it. 

In case you've been snoozin', we're in the midst of some kind of hydration domination, and if you're not carrying around a 10-litre water bottle with you at all times, people are concerned.

For reasons that are unclear, the Stanley cup is now a lifestyle. 

Because somewhere between the bubblers at school and celebrities endorsing Evian, our entire population became deeply infatuated with fancy metal water vessels. And now we are moving backwards as a society. 

Watch: If you want to get SUPER fancy, you can ~infuse fruit~. Post continues below video. 

Let's cast our minds back to the beginning of the year when suburban shoppers were filmed camping out at 4am and scuffling — nay, FIGHTING — over limited-edition Stanley cups.

Like, grown adults were LITERALLY GETTING TRAMPLED trying to get their hands on a special edition pink 'Galantine's Day' drink bottle. 

And for the love of hyper-consumerism, how did we get here?

@whoslulugirl_2 Decided to vlog the whole morning! The cup is so cute!!✨🩷🫶🏻 #stanleyxstarbucks #stanleycup #starbucks #winterpink #stanley #target #vlog ♬ original sound - Bella💞

In another video, a man was shown jumping over a Starbucks counter, stealing a cup and being wrestled to the ground and pinned down by other customers, before taking off.

The whole pink Stanley cup thing is out of control. pic.twitter.com/ffSIHnKfeE

— jamie (@gnuman1979) January 4, 2024

While the cups are insanely durable (see: this video of a Stanley cup surviving a car explosion), people aren't buying these cups for the fact that they can keep their beverage cold (or hot) for up to nine hours. 

No, sweet lamb. The cup is so much more. 

It's a fashion statement. A functional accessory. A comfort.  

You can now buy accessories for your drink bottle — from crossover body straps to lids and toppers, personalised stickers and straw covers (because they... leak). And yes, it completely contradicts the purpose of sustainable water bottles and single-use plastic, but hush because A TINY BACKPACK! FOR YOUR WATER BOTTLE!

There are now even better, more personalised bottles on the market that check off all your daily necessities. Loop for car keys? Check. Lip balm holder? Check.

@tertaay

Stanley cups move over. Its one if my top 10 favorite pur-chases

♬ original sound - Teri

Wild.

There are even special-shaped (numbered) ice trays to use in your Stanley cups so they fit the shape perfectly. And special Tupperware holders to hold your Stanley lids. And special stands to hold your Stanley cups. 

And would you like to have something to eat while you drink? How about a little snack tray to attach to your Stanley straw? Because there's that, too.

@askinem had to restock my stanley snack tray with some chickkk 🐔❤️ such a convenient find!! #stanley#chickfila#restock#gadget#stanleyaccessories#chickfilarestock#restockasmr#asmr#foodhacks ♬ original sound - Emily Askin - Home/Lifestyle

Related note: Watching this video physically hurt me.

People have also started sharing videos prepping their water bottles. There are 'Packing my tumbler to go on a walk' videos, showcasing people attaching their keys, lip glosses and handheld fans. And if it feels like we're living in an Amazon storefront, this is a fact.

@itsemilyleah Packing My Tumbler: to go on a walk (Everything in my @Amazon &/or @LTK) #asmrpacking #amazontravelmusthave #travelessentials #packwithme #packingasmr #amazonmusthaves #tumblerbackpack ♬ original sound - Emily Leah

The more I see, the more faith I lose in humanity.

There are also 'Packing my tumbler for work day' videos, 'Packing my tumbler to go on a beach day'  — and sweetie, the consumerism is screaming.

Ready 2 go xx Image: Stanley/TikTok.

And yes, the commentary around these videos is hilarious. The people have very strong feelings because it's all very ridiculous and wasteful. 

Some of my favourite comments: 

"I simply MUST know where you got your lobotomy."

"Went to consumerism town and everyone knew you."

"A purse would be much cuter hope this helps."

"Stanley's first day of school!"

Friends, please. Are we... okay? I'll stick with my dodgy metal bottle I got free when I signed up to my gym, thank you very much!

For more from Erin Docherty, you can follow her on Instagram.

What do you think of the water bottle craze? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Feature image: TikTok: @itsemilyleah; @sam.shan.shops.