What is a good mental practice to help bring me back to center when I am starting to get anxious? Too often I feel like the things that happen around me tend to control my emotions and I’d like to become someone who is not only more organized and disciplined but someone who can weather a storm whenever hit with occurrences outside of myself.

Can someone truly achieve a level to not be afraid of death? Unless someone has a strong form of depression, I doubt that even the most bravest people have zero fear of death. Idk what are your thoughts.

I told a physiologist of mine a while ago about people who negatively impacted my life in the past and i told her that i don’t believe that there are truly evil people out there (with exceptions of people with antisocial personality disorders who are just “victims” of their own biology) no one claims themselves to be evil and actively cause harm, those people just do what they think it’s appropriate thing to do without knowing it better, and for a while it made me if the opposite is true as well if there are truly good people, and i think that there’s no truly bad nor good people out there.

For a long time I’ve considered myself a good person, im always trying to help others, im patient i have a lot of empathy, but i also made a “character analysis” of myself following socrates ideas of finding your own self, and i realised that i’m full of flaws, I’ve vices and difficulties regarding moderation, I’m anxious, I sometimes lie for no good reason, etc, all of those stuff in my control to improve upon with stoic teachings but still part of me, my thorns that i need to deal with while i grow my roses.

Being a good person can have a lot of different meanings, are we just following Christian/judaism beliefs ? Are we going out of our way to improve the lives of others ? Are you giving your stuff to charity/ homeless people ? Are you willing to be the “villain” in someone’s narrative to do the greater good, Marcus Aurelius one of the greatest man in the world who taught us so much ordered the execution of many non roman people, invaders killing his friends and family or people who got their lands invaded first seeking retribution ?

It’s impossible to truly be good and kind when we are people who follow our bias both by nature and nurture and who can be simply having a bad day, its better to stop saying that i’m either a good or bad person and to put me in an invisible high ground and simply say “i’m a person” with virtues and flaws, some of those flaws may never leave (at least how i want them to completely disappear), but it’s still in my power to choose kindness, to choose peace, to choose justice, to choose humility.

While I studied stoicism, I saw that there is a great emphasis on forgiving others and helping them to be better. Why should I do that, rather than let’s say cutting ties with that person or taking revenge?

I gave a test today. My performance was poor. I was analysing my mistakes when suddenly my top of the class classmate said that since I have scored very low in my test, I shouldn't dream of beating him in any way or form..

Usually I don't give a thought about these mfs but since I scored so low, I felt it... At that moment I felt that I should kill myself for better because I haven't achieved anything in my 18 years of my life. Nobody likes me because of my personality. And to be honest I do not want to live my life... It feels more like trauma instead of something that should be enjoyed or celebrated...

Plus, my country, india is so fucked up that I cannot get into any decent university without scoring 95%+... My parents do not have any money....

How do I process such feelings? I'm feeling really demotivated right now. I don't want to study yet I have another exam on Sunday... I also have suicidal thoughts.... I cannot bear anything anymore

Hello to my fellow reditors who are intrigued by stoicism.

I really want to get an insight on the community and how to live your life to the fullest extent and honestly i was quite fascinated by the quote by Marcus which says “I removed my anxiety, no i discarded it” and so my curiosity turned into action.

Is Meditations the right way to start? Or something else.

Your help will be appreciated.

This noisy neighbor is been bothering me for a while now. Sometimes it's tolerable, sometimes it wakes me up. I can hear the bass of their music and that what's bothers me. Tried talking to the guy, knowing it was the best course of action and he complied. But not for long, the noise came back and I'm sick of talking to the guy repeatedly. I'm going to go to the authorities but they can't do that much I'm sure. I'm thinking of doing such though as I can't take it anymore. Marcus said "Don't be like them", I did, "No emotions", I am (when talking to the noisy guy), have Courage and Justice, I'm not afraid. Justice? Should I go to the authorities? Why should I if I'm practicing not to be bothered? I'm on my wit's end. Please advise fellow stoics.

I'm building an argument that supports the idea that, when the Stoics said we are rational and social (two things), they meant one and the same thing.

Can you give a real-world example of sound reasoning directly resulting in unethical/antisocial action?

Or at least, how to make it happen sometimes?

I think many experienced such:

You are about to start your summer break in a school year. You imagine so many things you could achieve during the break. You list a bunch of things you want done in the break, and you start right off, excited, and you continue working for several hours.

Then the second day comes, you wake up, but the goals do not seem that exciting anymore, you are occupied with games, movies, sports or whatever. And then similar things happen for the third day, and so on.

Many people here would recommend 'atomic habits' or something, but that's not the entire solution. One can break up a long term project into smaller steps but finishing the smaller steps would still need the long term objective as a guiding principle sometimes. The main problem here is not breaking up the goal or not, but that the goal someitmes gets so 'weak' in your consciousness, you would get lost in the short term pleasure and forget it.

Anyone here has stuck to a long term goal for long, and let it guide your daily life in a major way? Like, how did you solve the summer break, or new year resolution problem?

It's related to stoicism as stoicism advocates not getting drown in the short term pleasure. Thus, how did your summer break plan or new year resolution go? Please use concrete examples than a more vague example of a path of virtue.

Stoicism's inherently non-static virtues dictate the practice of wisdom, courage, temperance and the justice to evolve & rid ourselves to attachment; whether to emotion or to any pursuit of the now several-thousand year-old definition of unnecessary excess, aka: Profit.

One need remains: Knowledge discovery since it produces more wisdom, tests one's courage & pursues ever clarifying justice. So do you think profit (tokenized or otherwise) is still necessary? If you do, how do you reconcile it against Stoicism's virtues?

“Each man's master is the one with the power to supply or remove the things that he wishes for or against. Whoever wants to be free, then, let him not wish for nor against anything up to another: if he does, he will be enslaved.”—Epictetus, Enchiridion 2.14.2

A slave is someone wishing for or against things beyond his/her power.

That's an accurate definition of slavery, coming from a born slave committed to earn his freedom through philosophy.

All non-sages are slaves.

Do stoics believe in some type of determinism? Or any philosophies similar to: "everything happens for a reason"

So, I have a few thoughts with the advent of the new policy that restricts top-level comments on posts to only approved contributors for “Seeking Stoic Advice." It is obviously a measure to maintain a certain standard of quality advice from people who actually understand Stoicism and not random interlopers who just leave comments just for fun, because after all it is the Internet. But I would argue that this new way of doing things ends clashing with the fundamental tenets of Stoic philosophy and thus provides a few pitfalls.

To begin with, Stoicism is founded in the open discourse and sharing of ideas. Consider Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca, who all encouraged the contemplation of varying opinions and the importance of intelligent conversation. If we only let certain users respond, we could be filtering out the diversity of answers that can only come from a diversity of perspectives and practical experience. Plus, it not only unduly curtails the range of discussions we can have, but also runs square in the face of the Stoic ideal of learning together.

One of the key tenets of Stoicism is recognizing our own fallibility and always striving to learn more. No one is perfect, not even those selected through the application process. By allowing only a chosen few to provide advice, we might unintentionally elevate their interpretations to an almost unquestionable status, which isn’t very Stoic. This will cause the community to be more static and inflexible, where different views and criticisms are repressed.

Additionally there may be bias in the choice of who actually gets selected through the application process. Those who are responsible for approving applications might be biased towards the interpretation they personal align with, rather than accepting the diverse and rich perspectives that Stoic tradition calls for. This can lead to an echo chamber where only specific view points and opinions are validated, which is dangerous and damaging to our collective growth. Stoicism bids us to question our beliefs and to be open to other ideas and insights. Allowing bias to dictate who is able to speak compromises the integrity of this most fundamental part of the philosophy.

Secondly, Stoicism advocates equality and universalism. By creating such a hierarchy, only the 'selected few' now have the ability to share their thoughts, and this can discourage participation of newer members of the community or the quiet ones whose insights should be heard, despite their flair status. It creates a closed circuit, against the Stoic virtues of justice and fairness. We are all members of the community and everyone here should be valued and heard, from the newest to the most seasoned among us. Just because someone is brand new to the philosophy doesn’t mean their perspectives are worth less than those who have studied the philosophy to a greater extent.

Another point connected to Stoicism is practical wisdom or phronesis. It is to apply the ideas of philosophy in our everyday life. All of us as contributors to this wisdom, each enriched by the experiences and view-points of everyone else in our community. Limiting advice to a small subset of authorized user could mean we miss out on perspectives from other walks of life, leading to advice that is less real-world.

Last but not least one of the greatest things of this subreddit always was the community mindset and supporting each other. If we restrict responses, the sense of community here can become undermined. Such open mindedness can only stand to strengthen the bonds between others and therefore in part the environment as a whole and everyone it supports. So what if some user comments aren’t in-line with Stoic philosophy, those who have experience are still able to step in an offer guidance and insight.

Perhaps a more balanced approach would be to task flaired users to correct and educate comments that are off base, rather than restricting who can respond. This way, we can maintain the quality of advice while staying true to the spirit of Stoicism.

Thank you for hearing me out. This is just my opinion and I am certainly not trying to drive dissent against our moderators who o recognize work tirelessly to maintain this community. Just offering up a different perspective.

Bests,

Eastern

I started my Stoicism journey 4 years ago. It has made me quite resilient and more calm on approaching life and it's disappointments. I always remember before my anger bursts out that a hot-headed action is not manly as described by Marcus. However I also find myself wondering if it has softened me and that could be a problem in dealing with other people? I've recently experienced a breakup and my whole life I've been someone who analyzes things to the core to understand more. I have tried journaling and it has helped a lot. When my ex bursted out in anger or over stepped my boundaries I always stood calm in front of her even though my weaknesses got exposed as in my inability to really control my emotions behind the scenes. I am a really calm guy in a daily basis and it really takes something really big to throw me off. Anyway, whenever people have done me wrong in the past I have that anger or rancor and after the storm passes I actually don't have it in me to hate them or despise them. I don't understand if this is normal or just some unresolved trauma from the past.

My whole life was build on ego to become better and better , a half year ago i was hit by a trauma and had very strong intrusive thoughts , I was depressed and tried every day to find a solution , one day i decided to clinch my fists and was very angry and began physical training , it felt so good to be angry and train , but one week ago that anger is fading and I try to find self love through acceptance , I struggle a little bit somedays are hard I was get angry again and someday I can handle it and accept myself as is am, I struggling a little bit with 2 sides the one lovely side and the one who ist fighting, my question is will it be easier with time to accept myself as i am ?

Welcome to the New Agora, a place for you and others to have casual conversations, seek advice and , and hang out together outside of regular posts.

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I am relatively new to Stoicism in terms of reading the literature and understanding the core principals. However, whether I knew it or not, many of my personal “philosophies” have aligned with Stoic thought.

For example, from a young age, I learned to not stress over external events and that keeping a level head in the face of adversity is the best policy.

I recently read Meditations, hoping to learn more about Stoic philosophy, and the following quote spoke to me in a profound way:

“People try to get away from it all - to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within. Nowhere you can go is more peaceful - more free of interruptions - than your own soul.”

-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4-3

These days, with the state of world feeling like madness and facing new personal obstacles, I often think about going off the grid and living a peaceful life away from all the noise. This quote though has motivated me to persevere and seek inner tranquility rather than physical solitude. Who cares what is happening all around us when we are the ones who ultimately perceive it? Yes, the world feels crazy right now, and I would love to get away from it all. Yet, perhaps everything would feel less hectic if I just spent more time finding inner peace.

Hey folks!

Today I want to refer to Seneca and his 24th Letter to Lucilius.

I've come across a kind of simular post with quotes () but from my perspective my questionmark is another and didn't got discussed.

So here we are, in the beginning of the Letter, two different statements get held against each other. The first is the one I studied and even more practice in my day-to-day life:

Don't look for what may or will happen, because why would you make your present worse? [To continue: What will happen happens eather way, only then you can work things out in the best way you can. So no stress is reasonable before the so called/predicted "bad event" has happened and even then the problem should be solved with natures tools.]

The following statement, which I practice in a softer way as well (thinking which could and would be the next steps in the "may-happen-future" and how to solve the upcoming problems) is held against it and to name it the easy and short way: premeditatio malorum. [Predicting the worst that could, will happen beside comparing it to other so called "bad scenarios" and the "worst" of all - death. The comparison regulates the first perceived, because it's not the worst that can and will happen. Also thinking about a solution in case the scenarios becoming reality, so nothing can shatter your calmness, order and ratio.

Both statements take place in my daily life, BUT are they co-existing in stoicism? Is one to prefer over the other? I don't think they contradict each other, because I use both of them in different areas. I think my own actions through as far as I can while staying calm and waiting for what happens.

What is your opinion? Do you prefer one over the other, why or why not? Is there another interpretation of the two ways of thinking and living?

I'm looking forward to your thoughts, have a nice day! :)

Dear friends in Stoicism,

I'm going through a rough patch just now - mainly a divorce from which the stress is seeping into other parts of my life. I am normally a very robust and resilient person with a lot of self-initiative and creativity, but this particular challenge has floored me for some reason. I didn't expect it and I don't understand it. Since April 2024 I have been struggling to be present, create joy in my life.

A month ago my grandmother died, and whatever progress I was making felt futile. It feels like I am back at square one.

Is there any particular reading material that you think could be helpful for me during this time?

NB I am also speaking to a counsellor and would like to supplement my sessions with insight that is grounded in Stoicism. I think this could be a good opportunity since I am fairly new to the practice.

Is it best to just accept the worst case scenario especially with dealing with stressful life circumstances that merit a lot of uncertainty?

If accepting the worst case scenario means mentally giving up everything you value and hold dear in life- how do you not fall into depression? That's the only path I see in that case.

It's difficult to stay in the moment day by day always dreading the imagined worst case scenario.

Mods don't hate me. I've been reading up a bit and watched some YouTube videos. Amor Fati is a strange concept for me. On one hand I get that it helps woth facing bad stuff cause instead of going against the wave, you're "riding" the wave. On the other hand: isn't it just an excuse to not change your curcumstances and better yourself cause you just accept the status quo?

I assisted my friend to come to England again to help her get away from her ex. Now she tells me when she has to stay in my room because I have a room and she has no place to stay and I'm helping her with food, a place to sleep and everything else ie benefits I'm helping her to get some and a place to stay so she has my bed to sleep in and I've been friends with her for years and years and she is not a smoker and I do smoke but I don't smoke in the house and she tells me what to do and I must obey her when I come back from outside smoking and she tells me I am to wash my hands and body and keeps telling me that I'm not with god because I smoke and I must give up everything. And I'm the wrong one for having pictures on my wall of native Americans and I'm not the good one for not giving up on smoking but I don't smoke around her and I must be respectful to her only and I must not listen to any other god or anything like that and I have to tell her to stop being so rude and disrespectful to me when it's MY room she's staying in!! She also eats my food and doesn't ask or tell me she's eaten it when I wake up! She also I spent £500 on her and she can't see I've done her any good! How is that when I have given her a bed, food, water, even fed her cat because she can't. How am I disrespecting her when she's doing this in MY HOUSE!! My room!!

I had a once in a life time opportunity at my feet to level up my life, but due to bad mental health missed my chance. It's been roughly 2 years and my life has stagnated with those doors completely shut. How do I forgive myself for sabatoging my own success using stoic principles?