Fleeing the nest has long been seen as a rite of passage into adulthood. For decades dreams of a nag-free life, uninterrupted personal space and no curfews have been a driving factor for teens to study hard and move out. So why is it that half of all 23-year-olds are still living with their parents?
In 2023 42 per cent of people aged between 15 and 34 were still living with their parents. This includes 60 per cent of all 21-year-olds and 50 per cent of 23-year-olds — a record high (outside the pandemic), according to a recent report by the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
Lucian Cook, director of residential research at Savills, says: “The number of young adults living at home with their parents is one of the less immediately apparent but still very real symptoms of the housing crisis. It’s essentially another form of support from the Bank of Mum and Dad, not just helping young adults to save for a deposit, but as often providing a more palatable alternative to house sharing in the private rental sector.”
Samuel Carro, 24, is one of those included in the latest statistics. Last year he moved back to St Albans, Hertfordshire, to live with his parents and start a graduate job based in London. He had spent four years completing a languages degree in Cardiff, with one year spent living abroad in Spain and Italy.
“I went travelling after university around South America for six months, so when I got back I was completely broke,” he says. “I got my graduate job straight away, but I was in my overdraft and owed my parents some money, so by staying at home I was able to pay my debt off, and now I’m saving nearly 50 per cent of my salary each month.
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“It’s so hard to live comfortably on a graduate salary in London. You have to budget very well, and it’s hard to properly enjoy your twenties like that.”
Carro’s trainee job in commercial sales marketing pays £32,000 a year before tax. He commutes three or four days a week, costing £25 each time, although this is a lot less than the cost of living in the capital, especially if, like Carro, you are not paying rent (though he does help with the food shopping).
In the first three months of 2024 the average cost of renting a room there was £995 a month — up 5 per cent compared with the beginning of 2023, according to the website Spareroom. Costs increase further when looking at some of the most popular postcodes, with Battersea in southwest London costing an average of £1,119 a month and Islington in north London an average of £1,178 — over half of Carro’s monthly take-home pay.
“Living at home is going really well to be honest. I have a good relationship with my parents and I help with cooking and walking the dog, Dora,” he says. “Both my parents are Italian, and my mum wants me to stay at home for as long as possible. I’m lucky that my parents live in commuting distance and that I have the opportunity to hybrid work.”
His mother, Lorena Carro, doesn’t want him to leave. She says: “I love Sam being at home, we get on really well and he’s fun to be with. I enjoy having dinner with him every evening and he is really easygoing. We’ll miss him if he leaves but equally know that there’s a time he’ll have to.”
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He hopes to move out next year, but is not putting himself under pressure, and knows when he does he won’t be able to save nearly as much when he’s renting in the city.
Another boomerang child is Eddie Davies, 25, who moved back to his parents’ house in Sheffield last year after seven years of independence. He went to the University of Liverpool to study computer science and then moved to Manchester for four years to work as a data scientist. In July 2023 Davies took the plunge and moved back home, quitting his job to create his own start-up: an app called Mutuals that aims to bring like-minded people together. At the moment he is fully funding the venture himself with savings accumulated over the years, but is hoping to secure funding so he can pay himself a salary and move out of his parents’ house.
“My parents don’t charge me any rent and have been super supportive of my business. I wouldn’t have been able to get this far without them,” Davies says.
He hasn’t struggled too much to adapt back to living there as he gets on well with his family, and living in the countryside is a welcome break from fast-paced city life. “It’s actually really great, especially compared to how I thought living with parents as an adult would be. Because I left for seven years I’ve created a good network of people outside of my home town, so I can stay with friends in Manchester and London if I need to.
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“I’m able to use my parents’ car, as I don’t have one of my own. The train station isn’t too far either.”
Davies shares the chores and cooking with his family and they keep the fridge stocked and the car fuelled between them.
“I’d have to have been incredibly lucky or well established to have secured investment at this ideas stage of my business, so living at home has actually given my business a chance. It gives me the ability to have a very low burn rate and low expenses while working full-time,” he says. “Not everyone has such a stable family to fall back on and the chance to commit full-time to an idea, so I’m very lucky.”
His mother, Christina Davies, has found it difficult to adapt back to a family household. She says: “Having both children back home has been practically challenging, storing two more households of belongings and accommodating four adults in space we were comfortably using for two.
“Getting to spend more time together, especially all working from home, has had its moments as we have adapted to each other. But overall it has widened our perspective and engaged us with different ideas in a way which makes us feel less jaded and more youthful, so overall a positive experience.
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“Although I do like the moments when we get the house to ourselves and can enjoy some calm down-time.”
Darcy Brown, 22, has also recently moved back into her parents’ house in Surrey after studying in Birmingham for three years. She secured a graduate role in a PR company in London but she soon realised she couldn’t afford the rental rat race.
“My mum gave me the choice of paying rent or for all the food, which is what I chose to do,” Brown says. “With proper budgeting and meal planning I’m able to keep the food shops to around £200 a month. My parents don’t really like cooking or planning meals in advance, and I do, so it’s working out well for all of us.”
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Brown spends £400 commuting on public transport, and the journey can take up to two hours as she hops from train to Tube during rush hour. “I won’t be able to move out for at least a year, or until I have had a couple of promotions, but lots of people aren’t in the position that I am with a choice. Staying here was a no-brainer for me.”
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According to ONS data, fewer females stay living with their parents than males, with 56 per cent of 22-year-old women living with their parents, compared with 64 per cent of men.
“The main issue with living at home is the lack of connection to other people my age, and I don’t feel like I’m getting the same life that other young professionals are getting,” Brown says.
Brown’s parents say they love having their daughter living with them, but worry that she doesn’t have as much freedom as she should.
Her mother says: “She is great company but we want her to be able to enjoy her twenties as it’s a time when you should be free to do whatever you want.
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“Ideally we’d like her to get to a point where she’s earning enough to rent somewhere so that she can make the most of her social life.
“It’s also an added level of logistics when they go from university to back home again, even planning dinner et cetera is more complicated — you adjust to life when your children are at uni and then you adjust again when they come home.”
Sarah Coles, head of personal finance at the investment platform Hargreaves Lansdown, says: “Flying the nest used to be a rite of passage, now it’s a right reserved for those with plenty of money. Some 3.6 million of those aged 20 to 34 are still stuck at home in their childhood bedroom. It doesn’t just make for a crowded kitchen, it has a major impact on the finances of everyone involved.
“In a huge number of cases it comes down to the fact they can’t afford a place of their own.”
