Within a couple of hours of checking in I’d been handed my “timetable”? it’s not a word that sits comfortably with any holiday, especially if it includes a slot for aerobics and a “laughing session”.
But Sari was firm – her magic machine had shown that I needed to boost my fitness and relax, and a couple of stints of aerobics plus a half hour or so of chortling would do the trick.
Let me explain – I booked a four-night break at Al Nahda Resort and Spa, a holiday and health retreat in the Oman desert with pool, loungers, spa and fitness facilities galore.
The hotel is 40 minutes north of Muscat and 20 minutes inland. It occupies the site of a former mango farm and has been open since November 2006. Behind its high walls, seemingly unnecessary given Oman’s low crime rate, the site is an island of lush green lawns, palm trees, bougainvillea, fruit trees and water features – a stark contrast to the wild, rugged and dusty surrounds.
The resort has 109 one and two-bedroom villas and studio rooms, four restaurants, a bar, two tennis courts, a sand volleyball court, gym, yoga and meditation centre, steam tunnel (20-odd metre walkway through a fake rock) and outdoor pool.
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There is a fair amount of fake rock in the resort, topped by tumbling waterfalls and the odd stone animal emerging from the undergrowth. It lends an air of Jurassic Park to the place, although the meditation centre was pure Indiana Jones. Reached by a curving stone staircase lit by fake flaming torches, inside it had a domed ceiling painted like a swirling galaxy - surprisingly relaxing alongside the haunting chants of our Indian yoga teacher.
The guests quietly zip about the car-free resort on golf carts or bicycles, left scattered about for the use of staff and guests. The protocol is bikinis and pina coladas – another disparity with life outside the hotel walls, where alcohol is not sold, women are rarely seen in the quiet towns near the resort and men sit in cafes dressed in the elegant long white dish-dash. Here the tipple is Omani coffee, deliciously flavoured with cardamon and rosewater.
Despite the contrast the resort does not sit uncomfortably with its surroundings. Unlike those walled fortresses in places like the Dominican Republic, guests staying at Al Nahda can safely take off in a car or taxi to explore the surrounding towns and countryside without any hassle from hawkers. The landscape around the hotel offers some spectacular hiking, although it’s advisable to respect the dress code of long sleeves and trousers so as not to cause offence.
Many, however do not leave the resort. Guests at Al Nahda can choose to lounge by the pool and read trashy novels, as most were doing during my stay, or masochists like me can sign up for a fitness and health consultation and a programme to remedy their ills.
The consultation starts with Sari, the spa manager and her colleague Savvy, who has a Dr prefix and therefore can’t be argued with when she diagnoses colonic irrigation on top of the aerobics and giggle session on day one. This wasn’t what I had in mind.
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I told them my aim was to leave feeling cleansed and toned – quite an ask for four days. Undaunted, Savvy hooked me up to a series of machines to gauge my health status.
Within minutes my poor circulation, dodgy digestion and inadequate flexibility were correctly diagnosed – but joint pain and wheeziness in the chest were way off the mark. She also told me that lamb, gelatine, yoghurt and lemons were among the foods that were “allergic to me”, as she put it in pidgin English.
These musings were based on readings from the Vega test machine, which is a bio-electric analyser that measures the body’s electrical resistant to various foodstuffs and medicines, and also gauges cholesterol, body mass index and fitness levels. The subject holds a probe and an electrode is placed on an acupuncture point on the hand, completing the electrical circuit – it is painless.
There’s much discussion as to the reliability of Vega tests, but it is a technique used by numerous nutritionists and natural health practitioners in the UK.
I remain unconvinced owing to its erroneous analysis of my joints and chest, but vowed to stick to the suggestions in the ten-page document? even the colonic irrigation.
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Other suggestions were to follow a light, healthy diet and daily intake of three litres of water, good advice for anyone I’d have thought, plus aerobics and power walking to boost fitness, yoga for flexibility and relaxation, a steam session for a touch of detox and some massages for more relaxation and detox.
The final suggestion from Sari, who drew up a timetable for me to include these various treatments and classes, was to have me join one of the hotel’s daily laughing sessions. Its one of the daily activities offered free, alongside the yoga, power walking, aerobics and meditation.
The laughing session takes place in a purpose built park in one corner of the resort complex where guffawing gold statues emit laughing noises through speakers and “the trainer says funny things and we all laugh a lot”, according to Sari.
Being British this sounded horrendous to me – so it was with some relief that I was saved from comic humiliation by a fault with the speakers. Phew.
Another eleventh-hour intervention, in the form of a power cut, also nearly spared me the other onerous part of my timetable - the colonic irrigation - but undeterred Savvy rebooked my treatment for the following day.
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I’d imagined a tiled room, drains and a woman in wellies, so was pleased to find another serene room just like the other 22 treatment rooms; a comfortable bed, towel to spare one’s modesty and a discreet therapist. I’ll spare you the details, which have been chronicled numerous times before, except to say that there were moments of discomfort and relief over the next 45 minutes.
At the end I didn’t feel different – expecting to feel light and thoroughly cleansed I was a little disappointed to feel normal.
Undeterred, I continued with the timetable, as well as squeezing in some tennis and sightseeing. And by the end of the four days I did feel better. I usually feel a little lethargic by the end of a summer holiday, brought on by too much food, sun and booze, but this time I felt good.
The power walks made me feel alert for at least a few hours, the massages released the tension in my neck and shoulders, the yoga relaxed me, and the exercise, including the half day’s hiking in the Oman countryside made me feel a bit better about indulging in the wonderful food.
Resort buffets are usually sparse on fresh fruit and vegetables, but at Al Nahda there were delicious fresh salads and warm dishes at lunch and dinner in the main restaurant, with a chance to try some Arabic dishes, as well as European, Asian and Indian dishes to appease homesick guests. Some of my favourite dishes were the bircher muesli at breakfast, and at lunch an okra stir fry with tomatoes and a grilled local white fish called hammour coated in coconut, coriander and spices.
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The most atmospheric restaurant was the Arabian one, Samar, where you dine under colourful canvas and carpet, sitting on cushions at low tables. The flaming torches, colourful glassware and gentle music more than made up for the food that could have done with less time in heated dishes having left the kitchen.
It was among this Arabic paraphernalia and by the pool one afternoon when I was roused by a call to prayer echoing over the wall, that I was reminded we were in the Middle East - the hotel is so shrouded from its surroundings that it’s easy to forget. One thing you I couldn’t forget though was my mission - to leave the hotel cleansed and taut - and with Sari and Savvy there to nudge, pummel, scrub and march me every step of the way, how could I fail?
Need to know
Al Nahda Resort and Spa ([email protected]; [email protected]) is 40 minutes from Muscat and around five hours’ drive from Dubai. The hotel has a number of package offers on its website, including the six-night fitness package, which costs £909 per person and includes a lifestyle consultation, daily programme of fitness, diet and treatments, 12 spa treatments, personal trainer sessions, daily breakfast, lunch and dinner and all soft drinks, plus transfers from Muscat airport.
A shorter break is the two-night Spa Escape, which includes a consultation and programme of treatments and activities, four spa treatments, daily breakfast, lunch and dinner and soft drinks plus airport transfers, all for £338 per person. This winter, the resort is offering five nights full board with spa treatments from £756 per guest.
The Al Nahda spa has 22 treatment rooms and is open 8am to 7pm. A massage costs £34 for 50 minutes, a health check costs £46, a facial from £32 and colonic irrigation £71. Excursions from the hotel including hiking and tours of Muscat can be booked through Zahara Tours at the Al Nahda reception.
Ginny McGrath flew with Silverjet to Dubai. The business class-only carrier offers one flight a day between London Luton and Dubai, with flights from £1,099 return. The service includes a dedicated terminal at both airports, 30-minute check-in, gourmet in-flight dining, separate ladies loo, personal in-flight entertainment with on-demand movies and a six-foot-three-inch reclining seat.
Ginny McGrath booked a hire car through Carrentals.co.uk from Dubai Airport. It is a car-rental price-comparison site that compares prices from 45 car-hire companies. It costs around £44 for four day’s rental plus a charge of around £20 to cover the cost of car insurance in Oman, which can be paid at the car-rental office or on the Omani border.
For more information about Oman, go to www.omantourism.gov.om, or contact the Oman Tourist Office for the UK on [email protected] or 0208 877 4524
For more than 235 independent spa reviews log on to timesonline.co.uk/goodspaguide