Kalani has long been one of my favorite 90 Day Fiancé wives because she’s always been willing to put her feelings out there. She isn’t afraid to open up to her sister in the middle of a furniture store and admit that she and Asuelu have been sleeping in separate rooms for months. Kalani directly tells Asuelu what she wants: more romance, more support, a real partner. And it’s heartbreaking because it’s not that Asuelu doesn’t want to provide those things, it’s that he genuinely has no idea how to do it. Like Kalani has said, she’s more like a mom to Asuelu because he never learned how to be a partner or husband.
Asuelu literally has his own bedroom and Kalani still refuses to admit they might be done. Asuelu’s descriptive roleplay fantasy, where Kalani is the older tourist who seduced a young worker on vacation, feels more like the truth. They have kids, but this is a fling that got way too serious too fast. It’s not a surprise that Kalani telling Asuelu what she wants yet again leads to her crying while he yells at her. He simply doesn’t have the maturity to have the conversations Kalani is trying to have to save their marriage. As much as I want it to work for their kids, Kalani is too pretty to be crying like this all the time.
Even though Asuelu made Kalani cry, he isn’t the most disappointing man in this episode. That title goes to Jovi, who seems willing to leave his daughter with a pack of diapers and beer so he and Yara can go out and party. Sure, Yara is being a little overbearing, but this is her first child! She’s about to be alone with her baby for months and Jovi is telling her not to worry so much? Yara says it might be a difference between Ukranian and American moms, but I think most new mothers act like Yara. This is absolutely just a Jovi problem. Jovi really doesn’t get that he has signed up for an 18-year job by becoming a father.
This is where Ronald at least outshines the other fathers on the show this season. Sure, he’s parenting from abroad, but he still has a great connection with Daniel. Also, Daniel is another favorite this season. He is such a sweet boy and is mature beyond his years. I hate that he has to deal with Ronald and Tiffany’s tension. The thing is, I really only think Tiffany and Ronald will work if Ronald moves to America, and he doesn’t seem willing to do that. He does have a criminal record, which makes it harder, but Tiffany has made it clear she isn’t going to move to South Africa. Tiffany doesn’t have any faith in that man. Even when he tells her that he has a job, she can’t be excited for him. She’s truly done with him and I don’t think this motorcycle job is going to provide the support she wants to see. Kalani and Tiffany deserve their happily ever after more than anyone else in the franchise, but they both chose to marry absolute children.
It might shock you all to hear this, but I actually felt sympathy for Natalie this week. Yes, she blew up Mike’s birthday by bringing up old shit, but watching Mike dangle forgiveness in front of her like a manipulation tactic was gross. Before they actually got married, it seemed like Mike was just tired of dealing with Natalie, but now it feels more sinister. Natalie is clearly willing to forgive and move on, so why is Mike playing these weird games? They’re married now and he needs to compromise along with her. I’m starting to think Natalie does have a reason to be suspicious.
We also got a nice role reversal for Brandon and Julia. Maybe Brandon is a bit of a momma’s boy, but Julia is the one acting like a child in their relationship. I mean, yeah, Brandon getting mad over his video game time getting interrupted proves they’re both kids, but it’s never a good sign when grown adults still believe high school-level logic like “men and women can’t be friends.” Maybe Brandon thought Julia would get over this once they were married, but it’s not an attitude that’s going to help her network or start a business.
You can tell when 90 Day couples get married because they think a wedding is a magical ritual that will transform someone. This season has been great so far because it’s just a lot of people who absolutely refuse to change for each other, making promises they can’t keep. Mike will never compromise with Natalie. Asuelu will never mature and be the partner Kalani wants. We’re just watching them come to terms with the less-than-perfect ending they’ve settled for until one of them gives up. I mean, not to make it sound super-tragic — there’s still hope Jovi will become the dad he needs to be or Julia will outgrow her jealousy. For the most part, though, this season of Happily Ever After seems like it’s going to end with more heartbreaks than happy couples.
90 Day Notes
• Charlie being like, “No shit the house is messy, Andrei, that’s literally the job” was so funny. He hates that man.
• Libby’s sister showing up to the walkthrough felt so fake and staged, but I think they just wanted to highlight how much Andrei misunderstood the situation. I still do not care about them though.
• Mike’s mom said Natalie can go fish her dinner out of the river. She’s great.
• Angela had surgery and they try to get as much drama out of it as they can, but since we know she’s okay, there isn’t much there.
• Asuelu is so frustrating. I don’t know how Kalani even tries to communicate with him.
