Scott Allan column: I have an asterisk next to my name

I'm the free agent with an asterisk next to his name.

There's life left in me. I need to be playing. Since being diagnosed with the heart condition a few years ago, it's thrown doubt in there for some of the clubs. I know the way chairmen think. One million per cent it would be an issue for some teams.

I've worked so hard to get back. This is the first summer in 14 years, since I've been professional, where every day I've managed to disconnect a little bit.

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As much as I'm missing playing on a Saturday, I've had time to reflect and I think that disconnect will do me the world of good when I go back. You realise what you miss - it's a big world out there.

Retiring was definitely an option, but I wanted to do everything in my power to continue. I went to three separate cardiologists. One from London, one from Leeds, one from America. When we took into account the diabetes, we found a way that meant I wouldn't have to retire.

I've had the condition all my career, but it just got to a point where it showed up. I had already played 10 years of professional football with that and type-1 diabetes. What I have done to get back fit is nullify that problem.

I knew something wasn't right at the time. I had seen it myself, I knew in myself that I didn't feel right. I wanted to get it checked because I'd been through it before. When it's marred with diabetes, it can be difficult because it's similar symptoms.

It was five months out to start with, two or three months of regaining fitness, the loan to Inverness - that was all to get back playing. That's a full year and mentally that's really tough. I left the season feeling deflated in terms of how much I'd put in just to get back to being the same player.

'The game doesn't wait for anybody'

I came back to Hibs, had an impact and then I'm the first guy out. I need a run of games, like any player, and that deflated me because of how hard I worked.

The type of player I am, I need six games to get up to speed and you'll see the best of me. I don't feel I was given that opportunity in the last season or so. That's been the problem - there's no momentum gathered.

When teams look at it, you don't have minutes under the belt, combined with the fact you have a heart problem - which is now all fine - they look and go, 'maybe we'll go for someone else'.

That's the reality of the game, it doesn't wait for anybody. My next place needs to be right in all aspects. It might not be as glamorous as I want, but to get back playing - that's what I need to do.