Here's how you can overcome defensiveness when receiving critical feedback using mindfulness.

What I taught myself (and now teach clients) to do is walk into the room/meeting/conversation mindful. This is as simple as three gorgeous, deep breaths. 1-minute of closing my eyes and reconnecting with myself. Or setting an intention for my meeting/conversation. We often feel caught off guard because we were not rooted and grounded in a strong, true, expansive selves.

The first step is to simply pause and take a deep breath. Allow yourself a moment to acknowledge any initial reactions that may arise, whether it's defensiveness, frustration, or even a bit of hurt. Instead of immediately reacting, try to observe these feelings with curiosity, like you're studying them from a distance. This act of mindfulness creates a space between the feedback and your reaction, giving you the opportunity to respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. As you continue to breathe deeply, remind yourself that feedback, even when it's challenging, is an opportunity for growth and learning. Approach it with an open mind and a willingness to understand where the other person is coming from.

It can be tough to receive critical feedback, but take a few moments to pause and process what you are hearing. Take a breath, and another. Consider if you need more time to respond and collect your thoughts.

If the feedback received doesn't match your expectations, a conflict will be activated within you (stress). This is a natural reaction and you won't be able to stop it, but you can inmediately shift your state choosing how to feel about the situation. How to do it? 1. Pause. 2. Breath consciously. 3. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. 4. Ask yourself if there is another way you can feel about this. What can you learn from the feedback? Tell yourself: I choose peace instead of this.

When you receive feedback that feels critical, take a moment to pause before responding. This brief pause allows you to collect your thoughts, regulate your emotions, and approach the situation with a calm demeanor. During this pause, take a few deep breaths to center yourself and detach from immediate emotional reactions. This mindfulness practice helps you listen more openly and objectively, reducing the instinct to defend yourself impulsively. By pausing first, you give yourself space to understand the feedback fully and consider its validity and usefulness without letting defensiveness cloud your judgment. This approach not only aids in personal development but also enhances your interactions and relationships at work.

Mindfulness can help you handle criticism: Pause before reacting. Take a breath to calm yourself down. Notice your feelings, but don't judge yourself for them. Listen carefully to understand the feedback, not defend yourself. See it as a chance to learn, not a personal attack. Ask questions if something's unclear. Thank the person for their feedback. Reflect later on what you heard and how you can improve.

As you listen to the feedback, try to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Instead of immediately reacting, try to understand where the feedback is coming from and what you can learn from it. Remind yourself that feedback, even if it stings a bit, is an opportunity for growth. And hey, nobody's perfect—we're all works in progress! So, approach it with a mindset of curiosity and openness. Remember, mindfulness isn't about being perfect—it's about being present and compassionate with yourself and others. So, take it one step at a time, and you'll find that defensiveness starts to lose its grip.

Mindfulness can help maintain this openness by grounding you in the present and reducing reactive emotional responses. Express gratitude to the giver for their feedback, showing appreciation for their effort to aid your improvement. Ask clarifying questions to ensure you fully grasp their points and show that you are actively engaged in the discussion. This open dialogue not only helps you understand the feedback more deeply but also demonstrates your commitment to personal and professional growth. By engaging openly, you foster a positive atmosphere that encourages continuous feedback and learning.

Once you have taken the time to pause and integrate the feedback you received, that is when you should move on to this next step. It's perfectly okay to take all the time you need to really RECEIVE the feedback, and don't be afraid to communicate the need for a pause to the person you're speaking to. It's best to keep an open and curious mindset, rather than getting defensive. Unless the person gave feedback in a critical or nasty tone, chances are they were just trying to help you. By remaining open to what they're saying, you free up space in your mind from your own critical thoughts, and can truly hear what the other person is saying!

Questioning productively is crucial when receiving critical feedback, as it helps you gain deeper insights and demonstrates your commitment to improvement. Use mindfulness to stay focused and composed. Approach your questions from a place of curiosity rather than defensiveness. For example, if feedback is vague, you might ask, “Could you provide a specific instance where you noticed this?” or “What are some ways I could improve in this area?” Such questions encourage a constructive dialogue and show that you are actively seeking to understand and address the issues raised. This approach not only clarifies expectations but also transforms feedback into actionable advice, enhancing your learning and development in the process.

Listen attentively, maintaining eye contact and open body language, which signals your acceptance and appreciation for the feedback. Even if the feedback is challenging, express gratitude for the opportunity to learn and improve. Acknowledge the points made without immediate rebuttal, and reflect on how you can integrate this feedback into your work or behavior. A graceful acceptance doesn't necessarily mean agreement with all points, but it does show respect for the feedback process and the person providing it. This approach fosters a positive environment where constructive criticism is valued as a tool for continuous improvement.

It may be very well that you don't like the feedback you received, but if it wasn't in an accusatory or rude tone, then it's safe to assume it was to help you. Accept their feedback gracefully, even saying something as simple as "Thank you for your input! I will take this into consideration for the future" to demonstrate politeness. As the article says, you don't have to agree with it, but acknowledging that it was for your highest good can be solace.

When you feel defensive, take a moment to focus on your breath. Deep breathing can help calm your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment. Instead of immediately reacting to feedback, try to approach it with curiosity. Ask yourself why you feel defensive and what you can learn from the feedback. Mindfully observe your thoughts and emotions as you receive feedback. Notice any judgements or resistance that arise and let them pass without getting caught up in them. Remember that feedback is not a reflection of your self-worth. By practicing non-attachment, you can create space for growth and learning. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of feedback, try to find something to be grateful for.

After receiving critical feedback, figure out how to best apply it. Continue to ask for feedback after you have adjusted to keep improving. Mindfulness can help you to remain calm and focused as you apply yourself.

It's not easy to take critical feedback because it feels like a personal attack or someone telling us we are not good enough. When we practice mindfulness and are present,we can remind ourselves that they are not critiquing our person but our ideas and that way we become more open to receiving critical feedback.