Humor & Cartoons

Shouts & Murmurs

Reasons That I, a Middle-Aged Woman, Am Late to This Meeting

Lost track of time ruminating on the myriad ways I’ve failed my children.

By Wendi Aarons and Emily Flake

Shouts & Murmurs

Horoscopes Written by My Mother

With Saturn rising, you might feel the astrological pull of stubbornness in your sixth house. Like when Bess waited thirteen hours before she got the epidural.

By Bess Kalb

Shouts & Murmurs

Writers, Writers, Everywhere

The protagonist in every movie I’ve seen this month has been a struggling writer of some sort.

By Zoe Si

Shouts & Murmurs

Board Games for Liberals

Media Charades: Can you get your teammates to pay for the information they need to guess what’s going on?

By Ethan Kuperberg

Shouts & Murmurs

Anthropology of the Playground

Once you start visiting the playground daily, you will become familiar with the regulars.

By Liana Finck

We provide a cartoon, you provide a caption. Enter this week’s contest.

Daily Cartoons

1/15

“I loved all the shots of the tennis ball.”

Cartoon by Jason Adam Katzenstein

Peruse a gallery ofcartoons from the issue »

Comics

Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Up in Arms at Columbia University

Demonstrations and counter-demonstrations on campus and beyond.

By Barry Blitt

Shouts & Murmurs

Recommendations from the Guy Who Works at Your Local Dispensary

Turpentine Gelato, Fiscal Daydream, and . . . what was the question again?

By David Machajewski and Will Santino

Shouts & Murmurs

Ideas for the New York City Officials Implementing Rat Birth Control

Encourage male rats to recount the plots of “Dune” and “Dune: Part Two” on first dates.

By Meg Richardson

Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Trump on Trial: The Defense Rests

But is quickly roused awake!

By Barry Blitt

Tortured Poet Laureate

Shouts & Murmurs

Other Phrases Trademarked by Taylor Swift

“Welcome to New York,” “That Sick Beat,” “Welcome to Newark,” and more.

By Will Stephen

Shouts & Murmurs

Taylor Swift Friendship Bracelets for Beatles Lovers

“It’s me, hi, I’m the Walrus, it’s me,” and other crossovers.

By Erica Lies

Illustration by Elly Lonon

Shouts & Murmurs

Song Lyrics About My Teen-Age Years If I Were Taylor Swift

Bagels at Panera, hazelnut coffee at Panera. Wishing I was a grownup. Caffeine makes me feel.

By Molly Devane

Shouts & Murmurs

Ideas for How Taylor Swift Can Harness Her Powers for Good

When Taylor posted on Instagram urging people to register to vote, tens of thousands signed up. The Illuminati wish they had this kind of power.

By Meghana Indurti

More Humor

Shouts & Murmurs

How I Use the Internet, According to Nineties Action Movies

I pull up a digitized photo on the screen. Leaning in, I drag a bright-green box around a detail in the image, type rapidly for a full fifteen seconds, and then softly say, “Enhance.”

By James Folta

Shouts & Murmurs

Stories from the Trump Bible

And Jesus said to Pontius Pilate, “This trial is very unfair. You are a corrupt judge, and your wife is a very nasty woman.”

By Bruce Headlam and Stephen Sherrill

Sketchbook

Overheard in New York: Waiting for the Eclipse at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

“She’s a flat-earther.”

By Anjali Chandrashekar

Shouts & Murmurs

U.F.C. Fighter on How to Protect Yourself from Being Swept Off Your Feet

The Eye Gouge: The eye gouge prevents love at first sight by ending their sight. This is why the Three Stooges never got laid.

By Evan Waite

Shouts & Murmurs

I Can’t Stop Calling the National Guard

I called the National Guard when I overbaked my brownies and my smoke alarm went off; I called the National Guard when I underbaked my brownies and I was worried they might make me sick.

By Charlie Dektar