Five tips for coping as a parent during the cost-of-living crisis

It’s hard enough being a parent without the added worry of things costing more.

How do you manage the bills and anxiety that can come with parenting and caring responsibilities during a cost of living crisis? According to the Office for National Statistics, in August 2023 over a third of two-parent households and almost half of lone-parent households in Great Britain were finding it 'very' or 'somewhat difficult' to afford their rent or mortgage payments.

Almost one in four parents surveyed by Which? in August 2023 said they had skipped meals due to food inflation.

BBC Bitesize Parents’ Toolkit has spoken to consumer advice charity Citizens Advice and Gingerbread, a charity that works with single parent families, to get some tips on managing your costs and looking after your wellbeing in uncertain times. Here are their suggestions…

1. Get help with school costs and childcare

In England and Wales, you may be able to get help with school costs like uniform, transport and school meals. If you’re on a low income and your child is aged five to 16, some local councils may be able to cover some of the costs of getting to school if you can’t walk. They might also help with the cost of uniforms, computer equipment or learning a musical instrument. Speak to the school’s parent teacher association (PTA) too, to see if they can help with costs for things like school trips, or second-hand uniforms.

In Scotland, if you’re on certain benefits or struggling financially, you may qualify for free school meals after Primary 5. Your local authority will also provide help with school clothing if you’re on a low income. In Northern Ireland, the eligibility criteria for a school uniform grant is similar to qualifying for free school meals (FSM) and can apply to children in primary, post-primary and special schools. You can also apply online for home to school transport, provided you meet certain criteria.

In England and Wales, use the government’s childcare calculator to work out what help you can get towards your childcare costs. If you have children younger than 11 (or under 16 and disabled) and are working or self-employed, you might be able to get help through the Tax-Free Childcare scheme (in addition to the free 15 or 30-hours-a-week childcare allowance), depending on the age of your children. You can’t use this scheme if you’re claiming Universal Credit or tax credits.

If you’re taking up work or increasing your hours, the Flexible Support Fund, which is administered by your local job centre, may help with upfront childcare costs. If you get Universal Credit you can claim back up to 85% of your childcare costs, up to a certain limit and depending on how many children you have.

Gingerbread has more information about help with childcare costs on its website.

2. Get advice on household bills and costs

Start with the things you can control or access – like making your home as energy efficient as you can and making the most of the government support available. Use the Citizens Advice website to check what benefits you might possibly be entitled to. In England, if you receive any of the following benefits, the Government could also send you a 'Cost of Living Payment':

• Universal Credit
• Pension Credit
• PIP
• Income-related ESA or Attendance Allowance

If you’re struggling to pay your energy bills, you might be able to get a fuel voucher to top up your prepayment meter, or an Alternative Fuel Payment if you use fuel other than gas. If you have children under five-years-old or you’re pregnant your energy supplier might offer free support via the Priority Services Register. If you’re claiming certain benefits you may also be entitled to a Cold Weather Payment if it’s below freezing for seven days or more.

You may also be able to access financial help to make your home more energy efficient, with insulation or a new boiler, for example. Speak to your local council or Citizens Advice for more information.

3. Find cheap ways to feed the family healthy meals

ONS data shows that one in 20 adults, including households with one adult and at least one child, reported that in the past two weeks they’d run out of food and been unable to afford more. Contact your local food bank if you need emergency food. You may need a referral unless it’s run by a church so check with the food bank, or speak to your local council, who can also often provide emergency food support.

Otherwise it’s worth reminding yourself of ways to save money on food, like planning your meals and your shopping list, batch cooking, using supermarket coupons, buying from the reduced section or moving to a cheaper supermarket.

BBC Food also has budget recipes and advice.

4. Create a support network

Take offers from family and friends to help with childcare, walking the dog or things like cooking meals. Try and get to know parents at your child’s school or nursery. You can create a friendship circle of people with similar experiences, who you may then be able to share pick-ups or playdates with.

It’s important not to become isolated as a parent as it can often make you feel worse. You may feel more withdrawn if your mood is low, but texting or calling a friend or, even better, meeting up in person can give you a boost.

If you’re a single parent, you can see if there’s a Gingerbread group in your area or join one of their digital groups.

This Parents’ Toolkit article has more advice on creating a support network.

5. Know it’s okay not to be okay

Time to reboot and replenish is really important in helping us turn off the high alert stress response…Taking a few deep breaths can help re-centre yourself, and it’s a quick fix if you are feeling stressed.” - Gingerbread

Times of uncertainty can cause us stress. Worrying about debt, what will happen if you’re ill, or just how you’re going to get through the day are all common anxieties as a parent right now.

If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, reach out to a friend or family to talk, make use of online resources or contact your GP or a charity who can offer you targeted help. We’ve included a list of helpful organisations at the bottom of this article.

As hard as it sounds, try and carve out some time for yourself each day, even if it’s just ten minutes. Gingerbread says: “Time to reboot and replenish is really important in helping us turn off the high alert stress response.” Notice where you’re carrying the stress in your body and try and let that tension go: “Taking a few deep breaths can help re-centre yourself, and it’s a quick fix if you are feeling stressed.”

For more ideas, read our six self-care tips for parents.

For more help, the BBC Action Line has links to organisations offering support and information:

It includes a section on Hardship, Debt and Homelessness.

Morning Live has a dedicated page offering support for struggling parents.

BBC News has a collection of information and stories on the cost of living here - with useful tips to save money and advice on paying the big monthly bills.