Breaking away from gender stereotypes

Perhaps you've made comments like ‘that’s so girly’ or poked fun at a male friend for doing something ‘only girls should do’.

We can all take a step back and think about what it is we’re actually saying at times like this.  Perhaps we are saying that being a girl is something bad, or that girls are weak? Now think of your mum, aunties, sisters, and grandmothers - not sure you mean it? At the same time, you might have an idea of what it means to be a boy - tough, sporty etc.

It's important to remember that girls and boys are equal and everyone is free to be who they want. These ideas we have could just be something we’ve picked up from online, TV or who we hang out with, making us feel that we should behave in a certain way.

Too often there's a pressure for boys 'to be boys' and to match up to an idea of what a boy should be, but let's look at how to break free from that stereotype.

Own It is here to help you get away from the negative messages we sometimes come across online.

Boys sometimes feel they cannot express themselves. Some messages out there like ‘boys don’t cry' can be confusing and the people around you may not give the best advice all the time.

Remember, it’s healthy to show what you’re really going through. That’s everything - from the good to the bad, and even the ugly. Hiding it and keeping it in doesn’t help anyone. Things can build up the longer we leave it. We all need advice, support, and someone to talk to, about everything from the silly things to the more serious issues.

Try getting it off your chest. You can write it down, or call a friend, sibling, or even Childline. There’s always someone out there to talk to.

Do you feel that there are certain things you cannot do because you’re a boy or a girl?

The world around you can be a confusing place. It can tell us how to behave. Sayings like ‘man up’ suggest that boys shouldn’t show emotion. Bottling things up can affect your mental health and wellbeing negatively. Try not to get too sucked into this way of thinking. Not all girls are the same and neither are boys! You know, boys can wear pink and do whatever they like. There are no fixed rules in how to be. You’ll feel happier by being yourself because that’s the only person you can be.

A lot of things you see online are just for the likes, shares and attention. You may see your friends saying things or behaving in a ‘manly’ way. Perhaps you’ve seen a film where the hero is a powerful, angry man. This doesn’t reflect ALL men. Ask yourself do you REALLY believe what they are saying and doing? Find positive, inspirational role models who are open to the world around them, that are ok in expressing their emotions and who are honest about who they are.

You know, being a boy doesn’t mean you have to look like a ‘tough guy’ to be seen. Let's break out of the habit of labelling what it means to be a boy - from being strong, not showing emotion and being forceful. You can be caring and strong by being honest with your feelings. A boy is whatever feels right to you. Also, it can be important for your mental health to show emotions and not have to act tough all the time.